tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post7085749519401434803..comments2023-10-31T04:33:30.335-06:00Comments on The Life of Bon: Your Experience Is Not My Experiencebonbonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-43392392128658225322014-09-23T11:48:30.279-06:002014-09-23T11:48:30.279-06:00Oh my gosh - I LOVED this - I am a mom of a 16 yea...Oh my gosh - I LOVED this - I am a mom of a 16 year old and 15 year old (15 months apart) My labor, newborn and baby experiences were wonderful! Not all were "easy" or without challenge but it was MY experience and I embraced everyone and took each thing as a learning experience not that somethign horrible was happening or being done to me.<br />You expressed and phrased it perfectly - we all have our own unqiue experiences and no matter what we need to be incouraging and supportive and not be afraid or feel bad when our experiences seem "better" than someone elses.<br />My labor was very long and hard with my first born and he was the sweetest BEST newborn. So I was thankful everyday for how hard it was to bring such a delightful wonderful child into the world - he is still that way today - such a wonderful blessing!<br />And then my 2nd one child came along - my labor with her was a BREEZE and she also was a really good baby.<br />I would do it all again - have 2 so close toegether and be a momma of little tiny humans again!<br />I really really enjoyed ready this - thanks Bon!!<br />xobonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-12579778377725052082014-09-23T11:44:56.675-06:002014-09-23T11:44:56.675-06:00First of all: Yay! Disqus.
Second: This is great...First of all: Yay! Disqus. <br /><br />Second: This is great. I have also built up a terrifying idea of what being a mother is like, and although I'm not having kids in the next few years, it's really nice to know that it isn't the same for everyone. <br /><br />Third: This is so true for every part of life. I was a teaching for 6 years and I.WAS.MISERABLE. (partially bc i taught spanish in the inner city and no one can give a rat's behinddd about language education these days). I had wanted to go to law school for the longest time but let everyone convince me it was the #omgworstideaever. I finally realized I would tell people not go into teaching, but I have many friends who are happy, incredibly fulfilled teachers, and surely there have to be happy, incredibly fulfilled lawyers. So I finally did what my heart always told me I wanted to do and I have never been happier!!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-85028070209135649572014-09-23T11:43:26.984-06:002014-09-23T11:43:26.984-06:00I don't think you are a weird one for wanting ...I don't think you are a weird one for wanting to hear about people's difficulties. I totally agree with that- I just don't think we should be afraid to share the positive too. I felt very alone when I first got married and was struggling and didn't know who to talk to. I thought we were headed for divorce because no one ever talked about the challenges of merging two lives. I am so grateful for people who talking honestly and openly to me about their challenges. I am also grateful for people who were so positive about marriage so I could see where mine could grow too. I just think we should be anxious to share both positive and negative experiences, not just negative ones. And I think we have to realize that just because one person experiences something does not mean we will too.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-85784559707119737752014-09-23T11:40:42.380-06:002014-09-23T11:40:42.380-06:00Haha! This comment is hilarious. It won't ru...Haha! This comment is hilarious. It won't ruin your life! It makes it more fun!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-29729691509237875702014-09-23T11:40:26.981-06:002014-09-23T11:40:26.981-06:00That is awesome! I try to do the same- especially...That is awesome! I try to do the same- especially with my child-less friends- to emphasize how great it is to be amom.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-20818278757306262922014-09-23T11:39:52.288-06:002014-09-23T11:39:52.288-06:00Now I'm really curious to hear your birth stor...Now I'm really curious to hear your birth story! And I definitely see the value in sharing negative experiences as it is often a way to help others- I just don't think that those should be the only experiences we share.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-3042014249817093202014-09-23T11:37:33.336-06:002014-09-23T11:37:33.336-06:00I TOTALLY agree it can go both ways and I hope tha...I TOTALLY agree it can go both ways and I hope that my post didn't come off as we should hide the negative. I just think we need to realize that that person's experience doesn't necessarily need to be our experience. As I mentioned, it was hard for me when I got married because no one mentioned arguing with their spouse the first year or how they learned to compromise or come to agreements so I thought there was something wrong with it. I don't think we should hide the negative, but I don't think we should hide the positive either!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-18288373507111620022014-09-23T11:35:43.846-06:002014-09-23T11:35:43.846-06:00You are right! You have always been one of the be...You are right! You have always been one of the best about being positive about having children!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-61830117520606346702014-09-23T11:24:04.172-06:002014-09-23T11:24:04.172-06:00I try my hardest to not share my birth story becau...I try my hardest to not share my birth story because I know it was the exception (in a not good way). I don't want to scare my friends who are expecting, thinking they will have a similar experience when they could have a wonderful experience! Same with the first couple months of pregnancy. I think my hard labor get me a little off track. And then I got shingles, which really didn't help. Recovering from those two things made the first two months REALLY hard for me. But obviously that is the exception. I really hope your experience is more the rule of how the first couple of months should go. That's what I would like to experience with my second baby.<br /><br /><br />For me, I feel better when I read about other mother's who experienced difficulty in the first couple of months of motherhood. It made me feel like there wasn't something wrong with me. I felt guilty at first that I didn't know exactly what my son needed. Or that he all but starved the first week of his life waiting for my milk to come in. Or that I looked awful for the first month before I was swollen and didn't feel like looking in the mirror. The bad stories helped me move past feeling guilty. <br /><br /><br />But even with my experience, I would still tell anyone and everyone that there is nothing better than motherhood. Even when I had shingles and didn't get a lot of sleep, COMPLETELY worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-8725975371211994972014-09-23T11:11:53.011-06:002014-09-23T11:11:53.011-06:00I always made it a point to tell my pregnant frien...I always made it a point to tell my pregnant friends how easy my labor was (no epidural needed!) because people only tend to share their horror story births - I wanted them to know it can be a great experience and doesn't have to be traumatic like many women make their birth stories sound.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-76672902753396416682014-09-23T11:07:28.345-06:002014-09-23T11:07:28.345-06:00I appreciate this because I'm one of those peo...I appreciate this because I'm one of those people without children who thinks the idea of having a child sounds miserable from people writing about their bad experiences all the time. So thank you for your positive thoughts, but I still think having a kid might ruin my life.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-1653725052392866282014-09-23T10:23:02.423-06:002014-09-23T10:23:02.423-06:00I LOVE THIS POST. I'm nowhere close to being a...I LOVE THIS POST. I'm nowhere close to being a mom, so I can't "relate" to a lot of your experiences at all. And yet I still find them exciting, fascinating, and valuable. Comparison is dangerous! But I think sharing our stories is an important part of the human experience. Good AND bad. Thank you for always making an effort to do that.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-31435770824059441302014-09-23T10:04:25.148-06:002014-09-23T10:04:25.148-06:00I really loved reading this, you are a beautiful n...I really loved reading this, you are a beautiful new mom! I also think though, it can go both ways. I had/have a difficult baby who had colic for 5 months, still at 18 months is a really poor sleeper and hates his car seat, stroller, high chair and carrier haha. I love him to death still, but it has been hard. Of course I love being a mom and most days are so fun with him. In the beginning though, I felt really alone, like everyone I knew had these perfect angel babies and it wasn't like I had imagined, I wasn't having this blissful experience that I read and thought I would. I was the mom who held a crying baby all day long, so sleep deprived and no time for showers or cooking, resentful that my husband was gone all day. I felt like I was doing something wrong because of all the uber positive stuff I read and saw. Talking about it and blogging about it for me wasn't a badge of honor, I wasn't trying to be negative about motherhood and certainly not trying to scare expectant moms but it was therapeutic to write that this was hard and I was struggling a bit but pushing through, giving the babe all the love I've got. If I wasn't able to talk to friends and family about my hard time as a new mom I would have felt really isolated. It was nice to read about people who were going through the same thing (negative as it may be) it helped me feel I was not alone! So I guess my point is you are right my experience is not your experience and vice versa but it's ok to talk about both. Don't hide it if you are having the best time and don't hide it If you are having a hard time because it's different for everyone and we can help each other out either way!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-55553409048166529722014-09-23T09:27:58.297-06:002014-09-23T09:27:58.297-06:00Thank you for sharing optimism!! I don't under...Thank you for sharing optimism!! I don't understand why we so often not only dwell on the negative, but share the negative. Can't we help others see the good? Thank you, thank you for this post! June is adorable!! Also, random, but I want to see the blouse you are wearing in the picture!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-54186954977778601312014-09-23T08:47:48.963-06:002014-09-23T08:47:48.963-06:00Loved this today :) It's making me excited to ...Loved this today :) It's making me excited to discover what my own experience will be in not too long. It's always good to remember that things that, though they may terrify you, can turn out to be even better than you could have imagined! Thanks, Bon!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-23159496813034772722014-09-23T08:46:18.555-06:002014-09-23T08:46:18.555-06:00Thanks for sharing this! I'm kind of terrified...Thanks for sharing this! I'm kind of terrified to have kids one day because I keep on hearing all the bad stuff. It's great to hear the good stuff!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-83462340440548001192014-09-23T08:17:24.133-06:002014-09-23T08:17:24.133-06:00Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I...Thank you. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! I have had a "piece of cake" pregnancy and I can't talk about it because anyone who's been pregnant before tells me how horrible everything is to come. I've nannied and baby-sat for years and have a pretty realistic expectation of what is to come once the baby arrives, but for some reason women have to urge to tell me it's going to be hell. Why do we have to set women up to be afraid?!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-17863853617252125852014-09-23T08:05:54.983-06:002014-09-23T08:05:54.983-06:00Get ready to enjoy the ride for the rest of your l...Get ready to enjoy the ride for the rest of your life!!! Having our kids was the greatest blessing for us... I also had C-Sections, but never missed a beat.. there was too much fun and LIFE to be enjoyed. I really think it is what you make of it.. our first baby needed a pacifier, but I let people talk me out of giving him one.. I didn't do that with our second baby, and she slept through the night at 9 weeks... both were potty-trained at two years. Sure we all have rough patches, when they are sick, etc.. tweenage years had some struggles.... but I think if you love and serve God, work hard and love life that your life story doesn't have to be full of negatives!! I would much rather enjoy my life, than whine about being tired... June is adorable!!! :)bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-10980940586612535702014-09-23T08:05:37.582-06:002014-09-23T08:05:37.582-06:00Hi! I stumbled across your blog a few months ago a...Hi! I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and I've never commented before. I really do appreciate your positivity here, but I have to say I'm one of the weird ones who also appreciate when people talk about their difficulties. I just had my first baby 3 months ago and it hasn't been anything like your experience. While I don't like it when people only share their negative views, things have been pretty rough so far for us and it really helps me to hear about the trials others have been through because it makes me realize I'm not alone, I'm not doing anything wrong, and my baby is normal. I would probably be scared to death because of our circumstances if no one ever talked about their struggles in new motherhood! That being said, I'm glad to hear of how great things have been for y'all because it gives me hope that I may have an experience like that with another baby!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-2823679807238174952014-09-23T08:00:48.728-06:002014-09-23T08:00:48.728-06:00Love the positive message! I'm on the fence ab...Love the positive message! I'm on the fence about starting a family for many reasons. It's nice to hear that it's not sheer hell all the time. :)bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-57484150208136980232014-09-23T07:19:00.900-06:002014-09-23T07:19:00.900-06:00I was just talking to my husband about this the ot...I was just talking to my husband about this the other day. If I had known how much *fun* parenthood could be, I would have started a family waaaay sooner. Having said that, I'm really thankful for all the cool experiences I had before motherhood, and God's timing is always good. We have a 15 month old who has been a great sleeper since we brought her home from the hospital, has always eaten like a champ, and who is laid back, smiley, friendly, and hilarious. Thanks for sharing the positive! June is adorable :)bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-74734608330118482152014-09-23T07:13:12.271-06:002014-09-23T07:13:12.271-06:00I really needed to read this today - thank you. I&...I really needed to read this today - thank you. I'm a month away from my due date and basically feel exactly as you say here. there's so much negativity that gets thrown out there that it can be tough to remember that everyone is different (and also not to feel guilty about it, which is what often happens to me!). Keep up the great writing!bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-16860248852325914292014-09-23T07:07:59.271-06:002014-09-23T07:07:59.271-06:00I absolutely love this! I totally agree with what ...I absolutely love this! I totally agree with what you are saying, you just can't predict what something will be like for you based on someone else's experience! I think you're spot on with why people are more quick to share the negative rather than the positive.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-76412726585436918552014-09-23T06:39:54.426-06:002014-09-23T06:39:54.426-06:00This was SUCH a breath of fresh air. I agree that ...This was SUCH a breath of fresh air. I agree that people do bond over the hard times, but there is something to be said about how intimidating everything can get by only hearing the negative. Thank you for the honesty and please continue to tell your readers how amazing your experience as a mother is.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22472965.post-71771095084145779582014-09-23T06:20:45.204-06:002014-09-23T06:20:45.204-06:00I didn't have the same experience with either ...I didn't have the same experience with either of my kids. I was tired with both, but I wouldn't refer to it has terrible.bonbonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13580532603443802313noreply@blogger.com