A few nights ago I lay in bed talking with Greg, recounting the events of the day. I told him something that my little sister, Mary, had told me- that she was thinking about moving out from my mom's place so that she could live in an apartment, meet more young people, and have more of the "college experience."
"She just doesn't want to miss out, you know?" I said to Greg.
"I don't believe in missing out," he replied shortly.
"Excuse me?" The dude had given me a weird reply.
"Yah, I just don't believe that you "miss out" on some things in life. Whatever you end up doing you have certain experiences and opportunities that only that choice would have allowed you to have. If you choose something else, then you have different experiences and different opportunities. But it's not like you just miss out completely. If she lives with your mom she'll have great experiences here. If she moves out she'll have other great experiences. But she won't miss out. Whatever she chooses, she'll have the experiences she's supposed to have and she'll learn what she needs to learn and grow how she needs to grow. I don't think you can live your life always afraid that you are missing something."
I guess I married a pretty smart man, huh?
"So you don't feel like you missed out by getting married so young? You don't look at your single friends and feel like you missed out the young party life?" I probed.
"Not at all. Because I've had the experiences I need to have and I've learned so much in this time. And I don't think others who stay single or choose other paths are missing out on what I have. They have other experiences."
I admit I have struggled comparing my lives to that of others- like I'm always chasing that elusive "perfect life." (Seven years ago I even wrote a post all about how scared I was of missing out.) Others seem to have perfect vacations, perfect clothes, perfect marriages. It's hard to not compare and feel somehow insufficient, or like I'm "missing out" on these great experiences that life has to offer me. Like I'm just sitting on the couch in the basement while everyone else is out there living these terrific lives. I'm hoping to remember the words of old Hubs- that whatever I do I will have the experiences I need and that they will all somehow combine into a beautiful, happy life.
I don't believe in missing out.
Do you?
