Taking Care of Myself

Hi guys.  We had the kind of weekend over here that you need in order to get your head on straight.  We hung out as a family, Greg and I went on TWO dates, (one of which was a couple massages where I about dang near experienced death by over massage.  OUCH!)  and we binge watched Making a Murder.  We slept in, I made Greg's favorite soup tonight, June charmed us all with her new "WHOOOOAA!" sound she is making.  It was the kind of weekend that we needed after the kind of week we had and for that I am grateful.  (Oh and we all three took a 2 1/2 hour nap this afternoon after church.  It was everything a winter Sunday nap should be.)

Now it's Sunday night and I feel excited to check in here on the blog.  I love Sunday nights where I don't have to go in to work in the morning.  I can stay up until midnight or so watching my favorite guilty pleasure shows, baking cookies, reading my book, painting my nails.  Sundays without work the next morning just makes me feel like all is right in the world.

A few things happened this week that made me realize that I need to take care of myself a little better.  I have been going at a million miles an hour making sure that our family is provided for financially since Greg quit his job.  Add that to raising a baby and the personal issues that Greg and I have been trying to work through,  I felt like I kind of hit my "I can't do this anymore" point this week.   It felt good to step back this weekend and kind of re evaluate things a little bit.  I know that I need to "take care of myself" (as many of you and many of my friends and loved ones have suggested)  but I don't always exactly know what that means or how to do that.  Here's some ideas I had.  Of course, any of your ideas are more that welcome because I'm obviously not very good at it.

WAYS TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
1.  Plan to go "out" every day that I am not working- try to arrange to meet friends and family, but if not just go with June to shop, eat a hamburger, or somehow get out of the house.
2.  Take Maverick for a walk at least three times a week.  Don't let the cold be an excuse.  (I'm normally really good at this but the cold has made me a huge baby.  I want to make this a priority because it's really good for me to get outside, get fresh air, and get some exercise.)
3.  Make the effort to reach out to friends who live out of state.  I have a lot of friends who are so great but I don't reach out to them because sometimes when life is sucky it's just easier to not talk about it.  And if I call then I have to talk about it.  So it's easier not to call.  And then I lose touch with the people who know me and love me best.
4.  Read my scriptures and/or some kind of inspirational material every day.
5.  Get a haircut.  Make sure I do make up and hair and get dressed every day.  (I know it's vain and stupid, but I really do feel so much better about the day and about my life if I look presentable.  I can't do the pjs all day thing.  It just makes me so depressed.)
6.  Ask Greg for alone time when I am feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated.  Since we are both home a lot more than we were before, sometimes I can start to feel kind of overwhelmed by always being around people.  (It doesn't help that on my work days I teach four straight classes from 7:40-2:25.  I love those kids but agreeing to teach four classes instead of three was definitely a mistake for me this year.)   I just need to be better about telling Greg when I need a little bit of regroup time and he can take June out grocery shopping or go see a movie with a friend or something to give me a bit of space.
7. See a counselor on my own.  I feel like this would just help me to better navigate our weird world right now.  I feel like currently I'm not navigating too successfully and I'd just like to feel like I have a little better handle on myself, my emotions, the way I act, the things I say, etc.
8.  Allow myself to take a break from sponsored content on the blog. This stresses me out because sponsored content provides income for my family, but applying for blogging campaigns can be very time consuming and the deadlines often bring out my worst self.  I think for a few weeks here I'm just going to allow myself to not stress so much about constantly applying for sponsored content.  December was a good month for us income wise because of holiday sales in jewelry, so we have a little bit of cushion space for January.  If the blogging content comes to me, great, but the blog needs to take more of a back seat in the next month or two so I can get my head on straight.
9.  Be better about delegating responsibilities.  I tend to just do things on my own instead of asking for help.  With the jewelry especially, I want to show Greg how to order inventory, how to add listings to etsy, etc, etc, etc so that he can basically take over that.  Right now he does all the orders, but there is so much more than just orders that I often feel overwhelmed by it.  If I can give more of this to Greg I feel like I can focus more on marketing and growing the business and less on the minutiae that easily stresses me out.
10.  Read more and get off social media more.  ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK.  I mentioned this in my last post, but I feel like I'm thriving more on snapchat.  I love seeing what others post and I like posting myself.  Such a happier, less stressful place than facebook and instagram in my humble opinion.  (You can follow me @thelifeofbon)

Any other ideas you guys have?  So many people have told me "make sure you take care of yourself during this time" but I mean, what does that mean?!?!?!  HELP!

I want to thank you guys again for how awesome you've all been.  I never imagined when I started writing this blog that it would turn into such a great community of support and love.  I appreciate your kind comments and my family appreciates every time you click a link or order a necklace.  We could never do it without you all.

Speaking of necklaces.  I feel so grateful to you blog readers so I want to offer you all a special discount from Hey June to say thank you.  I am not putting this on my insta or facebook or anywhere else so the only way you could get the discount is if you are reading this blog.  Enjoy code BLOG25 for 25% off your order at Hey June good from now through Tuesday. (January 12)  I know it's not much, but it feels like a little something I can give back to you.  And we've got lots of great new stuff in the shop since the new year, so if you haven't checked it out for a while make sure you do.

Anchor studs. $8

Tiny diamond necklace. $24

Sparkly circle studs.  (My current fave) $8

Open triangle studs. $8.

Baby birthstone bracelet. $18.

Birthstone beaded earrings. $18

Open circle earrings. $8

Heart stud earrings. $8 (Perfect for little Valentine's Day gifts!)

Follow shop's instagram here. (@heyjuneshop)

Detaching myself from the rat race of internet success

Hi blog.

Sometimes I really wonder about my online existence.  I wonder about the internet in general.  Sometimes I have these rage fits at the internet.  I mean it's like come on already.  Instagram stop pretending that the world is just white backgrounds with succulents and lipstick.  Facebook stop emitting all your political rage to me.  Bloggers stop pretending like your life is perfect.  Gomiers stop saying horrible things about people you've never even met.  There are times I am quite convinced that the internet is just the absolute worst.

The past year I've tried to detach myself from the rat race of internet fame and success.  There are a few reasons for this.  One is that I didn't think always trying to "keep up" with the internet was making me very happy.  Another is that I couldn't keep devoting the emotional energy required to be constantly getting to the top in the internet world.  I needed to focus my energy on my family while we had a stupid hard sucky time.   For a long time my main blog goal was to grow grow grow!  I had to grow my blog, grow my following, more likes, more fans, etc, etc, etc.  It was really exhausting.  (I remember one time about a year after starting this blog a friend asked me what would happen if I didn't blog that day.  I couldn't even fathom just not blogging for a day.  "People are expecting a post!  They'd stop reading!  I'd lose pageviews!"  I said.  Well, I'm here to say I have not blogged on days and I have lost pageviews and the internet is still alive and well.  And so am I.)  I am glad I had that period of time to really focus on growth because it has allowed my blog to develop a pretty awesome community of like minded people- but I guess I'm not too interested in continuing to play that crazy follower/number game.  There is a part of me that realizes I am kind of being left behind in the blogging race.  Bloggers who I started with, who grew at the same rate I did, who were always my same blog size or smaller have lapped me many times by now.  My Instagram following (@thelifeofbon) stays pretty much consistent because I can't quite get myself to succumb to the "Instagram aesthetic".   I Instagram what makes me happy- babies and books and diet coke and silly things students write on their papers.  Clothes and macaroons and brick walls might get me likes but they don't make me that happy.  Sorry, Insta.  

(Also sidenote, I just kind of started on snapchat and I have already found it a much happier online place for people like me.  I am there making fun of the amount of diet coke that lines my bathtub at @thelifeofbon)

I think it's really easy for people who have a lot of online activity to base their worth on likes, pageviews, comments, etc.   I know I did for a long time, and I still sometimes do- although I'm actively trying to stop myself from this.  It feels good to kind of be out of that frenzy.  I know that I may not receive as many sponsorship opportunities as I have in the past, and I know I may not be able to make as large an income from my blog.  I also know not as many people are reading my blog as once were.  But it's exciting to think about my blog transitioning  back to more what it was when I very first started.  Stupid stories about trips to Wal-mart.  Heart to hearts about marriage and family.  Making fun of myself because I can't decorate crap.  I'm excited to have my blog give me energy again.  To look forward to writing blog posts again.

But that wasn't why I started writing this post at all, to tell you all that blogger mumbo jumbo.  I started writing this post to tell you all that yes, sometimes I really hate the internet.  But since telling you all a little of the struggles my family has been going through, I have really felt support from the internet world and from this blogging community and I kind of realized how awesome the internet is.  And how grateful I am to be a part of it all.  It blows my mind that "internet strangers" will tell me that they're praying for my family, that they're thinking of me.  You send me kind emails and words of support.  AND I'VE NEVER EVEN MET YOU.  You say nice things about my daughter's red hair and you tell me what books you like to read and you say encouraging things to me when I am feeling overwhelmed.  I feel like the past few months on this blog I have really been shown the best the internet has to offer.  And that's pretty freaking awesome.

I have questioned many times my decision to be so public about our lives.  But tonight when I was walking to my car and the snow was slowly falling down, I couldn't stop thinking about how grateful I am to have this huge online community of support and encouragement.  It gives me strength and encouragement and gosh I just feel so grateful for all of you.

So thank you.

I am not writing a real post tonight.

Hello blog friends.  Today was supposed to be a Bachelor recap on this blog but today was one of those stupid hard days, and so I don't quite have it in me to crank out Bachelor jokes.  (Although I did love the premiere, and I am hoping to have it in me to crank out Bachelor jokes tomorrow.)  Sometimes I think everything is better in our little world, but then sometimes I think we have so far to go that we'll never get back to normal again.  Send your good juju our way please.  I wish I had it in me to write a great blog post tonight.  But right now I have three jobs- school, blog and jewelry- and usually the blog job gets the shortest end of the stick.  I'm sorry, but thank you for understanding.  I'm going to bed now so I can wake up at 5:30 to get to school early to grade papers in the morning.  This is where we all cry a million tears.

2016 Resolutions- it's going to be a good year!

Making good on two of my new year's goals- family activities 

and take more pictures!

It's 2016!

Now that we've officially booted 2015 out the door and declared "good riddance, see you later, nobody likes you!" it's time to think about some good old fashioned goals for 2016.  I admit I get freakily excited about goals.  Goals?  GOALS!??!  Yes!  LET'S SET ALL THE GOALS!!!!!!

The term resolution kind of scares me because it feels so... well... long term.  I mean, don't like to jump in to my goals before I'm sure I like them, after all.  So with the new year I'm all about setting some goals and then if those goals are really lucky I might think about turning them into resolutions.  But I make no promises!

I've tried a lot of different ways of doing goals/ resolutions with the new year, all with varied levels of success.  Last year I just chose one word- that word was kind.  Which was a really nice idea.  But the problem with choosing a word for the year at the beginning of the year is you have no idea what the year will bring you.  It didn't take me too long to realize that 2015's word maybe should have been "survive" instead of "kind", but sheesh, what can you do?

In 2014 I chose a goal for each month, much like Gretchen Rubin's take in The Happiness Project.  I still really love this way and contemplated doing it for this year.  But the problem is there are more than one areas of my life I want to work on at what time.  There are a lot of things I'm really excited about changing here in January- I think it'd totally slow my momentum to let myself only work on one.  (Also setting goals a year out can be tricky... I remember my goal for May was to "save" but then we had the opportunity to buy a home... so yah that goal wasn't good for much.

This year I am dividing my goals by category.  I want to be a healthy person in 2016.  I want to be healthy spiritually, physically, emotionally.  I want to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family, healthy friendships, healthy relationships with my students.  So here we go... some goals to achieving healthiness in 2016

SPIRITUAL GOALS
- attend temple once a month
- have 10 minutes of "quiet time" to ponder, read, study, pray each day
- make more effort to comment and participate in Sunday classes
- be more purposeful about recognizing blessings and where they are coming from.  Be more grateful.
- write in a journal each night one or two sentences about the day
- more heartfelt prayers morning and night

PERSONAL GOALS
- read more- at least two books a month (If this is one of your goals too you should Join Bon's Book Club! January's book is These is My Words and the discussion will be January 28 on the blog.  Join us!)
- spend less time farting around on my phone
- delete facebook app on my phone
- be nicer to myself
- complain less

BLOG GOALS
- more real, honest posts
- blog for me more- enjoy blogging more
- respond to more comments on blog, instagram, and facebook- CREATE A SAFE COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE CAN CONNECT
- don't read gomi
(I am so grateful for the sponsored content that I get to do on this blog.  I do enjoy doing "real life" posts more though, so I am hoping that as our business grows and can sustain us financially more than I can do less and less sponsored posts.)

BUSINESS GOALS
- collaborate with one small business each week
- collaborate with one blogger each week
- get into 10 local markets for the year
- get the business to a place where it can financially sustain our family by the end of 2016.
-under promise and over deliver on orders

EMOTIONAL GOALS
- say no more
- one act of service a week
- allow myself to take "time outs" when I'm feeling frustrated, stressed, sad, or overwhelmed
- send a hand written thank you note to someone once a week--- write this on Sunday and send it on Monday
- stop feeling upset for things I can't control

MARITAL & FAMILY GOALS
- HAVE MORE FUN AND STOP STRESSIN
- family activities with Greg and June once a week
- date night once a week
- take more quality pictures of family and spending time with family.
- read with June at night
- go on a family vacation this summer

FINANCIAL GOALS
- get to a place financially where we can start paying extra on our mortgage each month
- use credit cards only for business expenses
- start putting money into retirement- preferably 15% of our earnings
- GET HEALTH INSURANCE

On 2015: An Essay

Before we do anything else I must tell you that plans for Bon's Book Club 2016 are well underway. We will be voting on the majority of our book selections next week, but I couldn't quite get my shiz together in time so I just chose our book for January because you get to do that when you're running your book club.  Empowering!

January's book selection is These is My Words by Nancy Turner.  It is one of my top 15 favorite books of all time and I think a great book to ring in the new year.  It has a very strong female lead who is funny, likeable, strong and crazy tough- all the stuff I love in my women and in my books.  I am really confident that you will all like it.  I've literally never met a person who read this book who didn't like it.  The book club discussion will go down on this blog on Thursday January 28 and Danica will be co-hosting it with me in her true Jedi knight fashion.

AND I am adding a new element to Bon's Book Club... an in real life meet up for those of you who are local.  I like the internet and all, but the truth is I like real life people a lot more.  I'm excited to expand my internet book club to my living room.  I think the two will really like each other.  Our IRL book club discussion will be on Tuesday January 26 at my home.  That'll give everybody a day or two to write their post for the 28th.  And there will be food.  Of course there will be food.  If you live somewhat locally please come and join us!  I will give more details as the date gets closer.

And now... let's talk about 2015!

Instagram has the virtue of making your life look a lot easier than it actually is.

I've never really liked New Year's.   I think it boils down to an experience I had at 13 years old to a boy/girl dance and not one boy asked me to dance.  I was totally bummed and when my dad asked me the next morning how it went I almost cried because I felt like such an ugly pathetic loser.  He told me, "Ah, New Year's is always kind of a let down.  It's a dumb holiday."  That somehow made me feel a lot better that someone else had been let down by New Year's Eve before.  Ever since then I have allowed New Years' to be a throw away holiday.  I never have expectations, I never care if I do anything fun, and I never look forward to it at all.

But this year I'm looking forward to New Year's.

I have never been so anxious in my life to be done with a year.  I have tried to be honest on this blog about what we've been going through in my home while still maintaining the privacy and protection of my family.  Some details will never be shared, but all you need to know is 2015 beat us up, kicked us around, and left us for dead on the side of the road.  We left jobs, we struggled with doubts and fears, we battled depression, we worried constantly about our financial, emotional, spiritual and marital stability.  Sometimes it felt like Greg and I were on the same team, sometimes it didn't.  I kept thinking it would get better and then it got harder.  It was a stupid hard 12 months and I have never been more ready to be done with a year.

But.

2015 taught me more than any other year ever has.  I haven't learned or grown this much since the years I was on my mission and those were also stupid hard years.  I need to get it in my head that hard is not necessarily the opposite of good nor is it the opposite of happy. (Ask any new mom that one!)  Some of the best things in my life have come as a result of really hard circumstances  The year was hard, but I like the person that this year made me.  I know not all of you are religious and that's okay but when I was getting ready to go on my mission a speaker spoke to a group of  several hundred missionaries about the Old Testament story of Isaac and Abraham.  You know- God makes Abraham wait for decades for a child, Abraham finally has Isaac when he's 100 or so years old, God then asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac for Him.  Abraham struggles greatly, but is willing to do it.  An angel stops him right before he is about to kill Isaac and says it was a test from the Lord and the Lord doesn't really expect Abraham to do that.  It was always a pretty tough story for me to hear and understand.  But the speaker emphasized that the point of the sacrifice wasn't at all to show Abraham's willingness/obedience/strength to the Lord.  The Lord already knew that.  The purpose of the test was to show Abraham to Abraham.  The Lord already knew what Abraham could do, where Abraham's heart was, what Abraham's strengths were.  But Abraham didn't know that yet.

I've thought about that a lot the past few days as 2015 is winding down.  Why did I have to live through 2015 with all its accompanying suckiness?   I think God wanted to show Bonnie to Bonnie.  I think He needed me to know what I could handle and what I was capable of.  He needed me to know my strengths, to be more aware of my weaknesses, to just be a more aware and better person overall.  I think regardless of your spiritual beliefs, we can agree that there are times that test our spirits, that stretch us, that make us grow, that turn us into the people we need to become.  2015 was one of those years for me.

I look back to the person I was when this year started and the good news is I like the Bonnie at the end of the year better.  I made mistakes and I have a lot of regrets this year.   But I hope I have learned from all the crap of the year. I think I might be a little softer, more aware of others' pain, hopefully kinder.  Don't get me wrong, I still am not thrilled with myself all the time, but 2015 taught me some tough lessons that I needed about the kind of person I want to be from here on out. I am trying for love and patience and kindness above all else.

So bring on 2016!   I'm ready for peace, laughter, and lots and lots of slobbery baby kisses.

Larsen Family Photos 2015

December was madness for us-  we were up to our necks in jewelry and markets and sponsored posts and teaching seventeen year olds.  The best kind of madness.  But still.  Total madness.  Somehow in the middle of all this- on a day right before a handmade market that we were preparing for and the afternoon before a teacher evaluation for me at the school- we managed to get out to take some family pictures.  I almost cancelled about 700 times because the timing turned out to be just horrible but I knew I'd regret it if we didn't get some good professional pictures taken of us already.  We realized half an hour before that we hadn't even thought about what we were going to wear or how we were going to coordinate. (We all just ended up keeping our coats on so all of that debate didn't matter at all.  Funny how those things work out.)  But I was determined!  I wouldn't give up!  The snow had just fallen and the backdrop couldn't be prettier.  We missed the exit and were about half an hour late and all three of us were a bag of stress and nerves.  Greg said "I don't think there's any way this will possibly be worth it after all this" and I hated to admit that I thought he was probably right.

But guess what?

IT WAS WORTH IT.  When we saw the pictures we both agreed right on the spot- it was worth all the craziness of getting ready for family pictures.  Brooke sent me a few peeks that evening and my eyes instantly filled with tears.  How had the pictures turned out that good in the middle of our stressful day in the 30 degree weather with June crying 90% of the time?  How had Brooke worked this voodoo picture magic on us?

The world will never know.  But she did it.  Also ours was a "mini session" because I knew we didn't have much picture-taking-in-the-snow stamina.  The whole session probably lasted 20-25 minutes and then we were out of there.  I really can't recommend Brooke highly enough for pictures.  She's based out of the Phoenix area but has family in Utah so she comes up here sometimes and you can nab her while she's here to do some of her picture magic.  Also Brooke is still fairly new so she doesn't charge an arm and a leg.  So nice!  (Brooke's photography site is here.)

And now, the pictures!

I spy... a blue sour patch kid...

Thanks Brooke for making our family look really good in twenty minutes of 30 degree weather.  The world will never know how you did it!

(Also- a quick word about my coat.  It came from my friend's instragram shop @theundergroundpearl and it cost $24.   TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS.  Bridgette finds great deals, scours thrift stores, resales clothes from 30 years ago, etc, etc, etc all at amazing deals.  She gets her clothes from all over the places- some used some brand new- and sells them at such reasonable prices.  I got a sweater from her that I absolutely love too that I'll share later.  Seriously, go follow her instagram because you'll never find so much cute stuff and such good deals.)

Brooke's blog
Brooke's photography site
Bridgette's blog
Bridgette's instagram

Home again, Home again, jiggity jig

I logged onto my blog today for the first time in what I thought was a couple days.  Twelve.  Turns out it was twelve days.  It may be the longest I have ever gone without writing on my blog.  Sorry about that.

There's a lot I want to tell you about Christmas and New Year's and how I am ready to kick 2015 out the door forever and ever.  But first I want to talk about my mission... You know... the 18 months of complete joy and torture that I endured down South

Today marks seven years since I have been home from Argentina.  I feel like my life is divided into pre mission and post mission and the fact that the post mission side already has seven years on it absolutely terrifies.  You mean I'm not 22 anymore?  WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLENESS?

Before we dive in, a couple of disclaimers...

Disclaimer #1:  I am starting this post after midnight.  I promised myself all day long I would do this post and then, in typical holiday fashion, I procrastinated.  (Actually I started organizing the pen drawer.  It is the black hole of my home and it was driving me absolutely insane.)  And while I may break a lot of promises to other people, I never break a promise to myself, so here I am, right before bed, hammering out this post.

Disclaimer #2:  This post will be about my mission.  If you think hearing about my adventures is Argy is a big yawn fest then quit reading, for crying out loud!  No one is forcing you.  I'll never even know if you stop right here.

But I hope you don't.  Stop reading that is.  Because December 27 holds a special little place in my heart.  I'm a date person.  I remember all significant dates in my life.  Baptismal date, date I started my period, first date with Greg, engagement date, date I went on a trip to California four years ago, date I bombed a calculus test, they are all stored away in my pretty little head.  And TODAY'S DATE is very important.  You see, it was exactly three years ago on this date that I was returning home from my old mishky in Argky.

Join me on a trip down memory lane.  The plane ride home was intense.  Surreal. I don't think I have ever thought about anything as much as I thought about what the day would be like that I came home from my mission.  I was kind of homesick... alot... on my mission.  I was sitting next to Elder Ward and Elder Daily and we talked about how totally crazy it was that the mission had actually ended.  Elder Ward told me his sob story of the girlfriend who had dumped him on his mission and then married his best friend.  I nodded sympathetically, happy that I still had my ever-loyal-and-faithful boyfriend at home.  And by ever-loyal-and-faithful he had another girlfriend practically the whole time I was gone, so you know...  that one didn't work out.

I pictured the scene of my family waiting for me a million times.  They'd be crying certainly.  They'd tell me how long my hair had grown, how tan my skin was, how skinny my waist (not a good thing- those Argentine parasites got the best of me!).  One of these days I will figure out that I should stop imagining the perfect scenarios because it never works out the way I think it will.

The first thing that threw me for a loop was that my sister, Mindy, met me at the gate.  She had landed in Salt Lake less than an hour earlier, so she had just come to my gate to find me.  The second thing that threw me for a loop was that she was holding a baby.  Her baby.  I knew she had had a baby while I was gone, but it's just one of those things you don't fully register until you see it with your own eyes.

Mindy walked with me to baggage claim.  Her phone rang.  "Hello?  Hi mom.  Yah, I'm with her.  The plane just landed.  Seriously?  Okay...  I'll tell her.  See you in a few."  She hung up the phone.  "The fam is not here yet, mom had to make a few Christmas returns and your plane landed a few minutes early." 

Talk about anticlimactic.

So we went down the escalators, and I went to the bathroom while we waited for the rest of the family to show up.

Don't feel bad for me.  I understand.  I'm the seventh child in my family.  My family had already done the whole "Wait for your missionary at the bottom of the escalators" thing seven times.  By the time it was my turn the whole process had really lost its charm.

The whole fam damily arrived a few minutes later, carrying a darling sign my nephews had made and screaming "Welcome home, Bonnie!  We missed you!"  They told me I looked tan, they told me my hair was long, they told me my waist was small.  My mom took one look at the mission clothes I was wearing and concluded "We must go shopping for you, dear!"    They were forgiven.

I wasn't hungry, but the fam insisted we stop to get a bite to eat.  Something weird happened to my appetite in Argentina.  And by weird I mean that it completely disappeared.  We stopped at Cafe Rio and I could barely get five bites down.  We drove home to Price, and dad made pizza and I didn't even eat a whole slice.  Mostly I just remember walking around the house in a daze, not believing that I was actually home, everything seeming so foreign and so familiar at the same time.  Everyone was watching a Jazz game and talking and laughing.  I felt weird.  So I went to bed.  It was 7:30.

I was in a new land.  I felt as weird as I had felt when I first arrived in Argentina a year and a half ago.  And oh, the snow.  That year it dumped snow days before I came home.  I went from sleeping on the roof and sweating through my shirts in minutes to a foot of powder and bundling up in four sweaters to keep warm.

I felt so misplaced.  Nobody told me that it was hard to come home from the mission.  I didn't fit in anymore.  Everything was too clean.  Too nice.  Too rich.  While I was on the mission, the big 2008 recession had hit, but I didn't see no recession.  I saw cars and tile and microwaves and carpet and girls with new clothes and this ain't no recession, people.  This is prosperity.

My big break down came a day later at the Burger King.  Something about the ease of Burger King was too much for me to take in.  Everything in that fast food restaurant screamed of wealth and luxury and ease.  It was so simple to get a burger.  So effortless.  Two bucks and I had meat in my mouth, none of this slaving away over every scrap of food and living on dirt floors and washing clothes by hand.  I couldn't handle leaving a third world country.  Going from so little to so much completely did me in.  So out of nowhere, I started dripping big fat tears into my half eaten Whopper.

"What's wrong, Bonnie?  What's going on?"  My mom rushed to my aid,  "We know it's hard, you'll have to adjust, you've been in a third world country for 18 months, but you'll be okay."  My siblings added their two cents, "I remember it was hard for me too!  I missed the mission, I felt like I didn't belong at home..."  They hugged, they comforted, they wiped my tears and told me how much they loved me.

It was sometime during that Burger King hug session that I realized that no matter how much I missed Argentina and no matter how hard it would be for me to adjust back to living a normal life, I did know one thing for certain. 

It was good to be home.

Excerpts of this post were originally published on December 28, 2011.  

I've been blogging for way too long.

Are you done with your Christmas shopping yet... ?

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. 

All opinions are mine alone. #GiftingAMemory #CollectiveBias

Check the box that applies to you.

In terms of my Christmas shopping I...

[ ]  Have finished my shopping

[ ] Am making progress on my Christmas shopping

[ ] HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SOMEONE HELP MY STRUGGLED SOUL!

If you checked box number one, then congratulations you have figured out the secret to life at Christmas and we all could learn from your greatness and wisdom.  If you checked box 2 or 3 then have no fear I am here to help!

As a little girl my grandma used to always give us boxed makeup and perfume sets for Christmas and I LOVED it.  I think I loved it so much because my mom wouldn't let me wear makeup yet so when I saw the makeup and perfume I felt like my grandma really got me.  She understood my excitement to wear perfume, to shave my legs, to be grown up now!  

My grandma passed away 8 years ago, but whenever I see these perfume gift sets at Christmas time now I think of her.  I swear I can still smell the perfume now.

This year I am excited to be gifting a COTY Katy Perry Mad Potion gift set to two of my cousins.  I mentioned on this blog a couple of months ago that my cousin lost her husband, leaving behind seven small children.  I've gotten to spend a little bit of extra time with these kids and I wanted to give a little gift to the two oldest girls who are so strong and going through so much right now.  There's a special place in my heart for girls who have lost their daddies too soon and even though it's a pretty simple gesture, I'm excited to be able to give this Katy Perry MAD potion to them this Christmas.  And if I know pre teen girls like I think I do, nothing is better in their world than a Katy Perry perfume set.

The best thing about these gift sets is that they make giving a breeze.  Every Christmas I feel slightly more frantic than the one before and I wonder how I will get everything done before Christmas.  COTY perfume gifts sets make giving quick and simple during the hustle and bustle of the season- I mean, it's practically even wrapped for you! 

Find ways to give this holiday season here.  

You can find your COTY gift set right smack in the middle of the aisle at Wal-mart.  They're hard to miss this time of year :)

Thank you so much to all you readers for supporting the brands that support my blog.  I enjoy doing all my sponsored posts, but this one was especially fun because CHRISTMAS and because I get to give this gift set away and I know those little girls are going to love it.  It's because of my readers that I get these cool opportunities so THANK YOU.

Last day to order!

Today is the last day to order from Hey June for guaranteed Christmas delivery!  And because I have a special place in my heart for people who always seem to be running just a little bit late, (it's not an easy way to live!) I am offering up a 24 hour discount code for today only.  Anyone who orders from 10 am MST 12/16 to 10 am MST 12/17 will receive 20% off your entire order with the code LATEBIRD.  Hopefully this is the push you need to finally get those Christmas presents bought!

Thanks so much for all your support thus far.  I have the greatest blog readers in the world.

A Letter to Ben H. from June: (A guest post by Greg)

As an early Christmas present to all readers, I have decided to give you another guest post.  Yes, this is I, the man behind the curtains.  The shadow behind the giant.  The afterbirth behind the… yeah that one doesn’t work.

Yes it is Greg (the husband).  You may have read my last guest post, and I’m sure it might have left you confused, maybe disgusted, probably a little seduced.  Well prepare yourself for this next one!

As always (always being one time) I shall be writing a Bachelor related post.  Recently the female contestants for the upcoming season of The Bachelor have been announced.  To be honest no one is good enough for Ben H. The man is like Hercules.  No mortal can be with Hercules!  Disney tried, but Meg was never good enough for him and she’s only going to hold him back from achieving his rightful deity and plus she tricked him into fighting the hydra.  Sorry, little bit of a tangent.  But the world isn’t Disney! The world is reality T.V!

This has really left me wondering if anyone has a chance to be with Ben H.  I went through all the great possibilities in my head.  Jennifer Lawrence, Lady Gaga, The Pope, Kate Middleton if she got a divorce… Nothing seemed to fit.  But then it came to me! The answer was inside of me! Literally from inside of me, my own flesh and blood…  Yes! My daughter, June!

June has been cursed with my red hair, but maybe she was gifted with my supreme understanding and respect for Ben H.  I talked with June about this whole situation, and she has agreed to send a petition to Ben H in order to be considered.  I had to do some translating to make it work.  It’s mostly the pros and cons of being together with her.  I hope you all agree that she would be a perfect fit.

Dear Ben,

Firstly, I would like to apologize if my dad has come off a little too strong.  Strong being the emails, invitations to dinner, animal sacrifices to you etc.  I want you to know that there are no weird intentions from him, and that he is loyal to my mom on a near serial killer/psychotic level.

My name is June.  I am 17 months old.  I have fiery red hair and an attitude to match it.  I want to tell you some pros to choosing me as a contestant on your show.

I am very easy to entertain.  I still think peekaboo is absolutely hilarious (where did you go!?) it gets me every time.

-          I’ve become very independent and won’t be one of those needy girlfriends.  If you litter the room with toys, I am totally fine for up to ten minutes playing all by myself.

-          I think farts are funny.  So you can let them fly.

-          I am a very good listener, especially if you read me stories.  (Something with pictures please).

-          I am an animal person.  Except sometimes I accidentally hurt them so they need to be durable.

-          I’m not picky with food.  But you do have to cut it up and don’t ever try to feed me!

-          I love movies.  My favorite is Curious George; that monkey is freaking hysterical.

-          I am a morning person.  Sometimes even a middle of the night person.  Sheesh, sometimes I never sleep at all!

Now, I know you might be in love with me already. But I have to admit that I do have some flaws.  Please be patient and understanding.

-          I have a little bit of a temper.  And I will throw things.  I won’t throw them far, but dang it, I will throw them!

-          I laugh at my own jokes.  Farts are considered jokes right?

-         There is a 50% chance that I will poo my pants during our date, and a 100% chance that you will have to clean it up.

-          I will get very cranky around 7 and I should go to bed.  But If we keep me up, I will bounce back around 9.  But then there’s little hope of me going to bed ever, so, well, just be prepared to hang with me all night.

-          I don’t know how to clean up after myself.  I just don’t understand the purpose.

-          If I see a dog during mid-conversation I will scream out “DOG!”  even if you are in the middle of a beautiful story.  This has offended people in the past.

-          You might have to hold my hand during walks.  Not because it is romantic, but because I will fall down otherwise.

-          I don’t know how to give hugs.  I choose head butts instead.

-          I will use your toilet a lot.  Not to go to the bathroom in, but to fill it with toilet paper, jewelry, hair bows etc.

      I am sorry to say that I haven't quite mastered how to kiss yet.  I will come in really strong but finish weak with a sloppy, spitty, and sometimes even boogery kiss.  I try to hit the mouth but a lot of times I miss entirely and just nail the lower chin instead.  

-        My teeth look a little like Gollum.  I'm sorry, but I really have no control over this.

Well now you know my best and my worst.  I hope to see you soon.  I really do think we could make a great match.

Head butts and farts,

June Bug.

What do you think?  Is she the perfect match for Ben. H or what?

-----

Pssst... Bonnie here.  We caught an episode of this show last night and LOVED it.  Has anyone watched the whole series?  Is it worth investing in?

I need to read some books and you're going to help me.

Bon's Book Club 2015 selection.  Anyone read them all?

You guys.  I'm in a slump.  A reading slump.  They're the worst kind of slumps to be in because with most slumps I pull myself out by relaxing, taking bubble baths and reading.  Well how do you pull yourself out of a reading slump if you can't read?  TEEN MOM MARATHONS?!?!  Because I tell you, that isn't helping anything.  And yes I've been watching a lot of Teen Mom.  I watch it while I make your jewelry.  My life seems very stable compared to theirs and I leave feeling good about my own life and where I'm at so I guess it's cheaper than therapy?

Anyhoo... I'm looking to all of you to help me out of my reading slump.  I am kind of sort of reading And Then There Were None.  This was supposed to be the October book for Bon's book club and then I postponed it until November and then I postponed it until December and then I never wrote it and just hoped none of you noticed.  And I don't think any of you did!  Chalk that up as a win for me!   I just couldn't get into it.  It was a little too cheesy and predictable for me.  It kind of felt like watching an old, horribly made movie.  Like I kept rolling my eyes and thinking, "this would never fly if she tried to publish this today."  Are you allowed to say that about a writer who has supposedly published more books than anyone besides Shakespeare?  Well I just did.  And can we all just admit that Agatha Christie certainly ain't no Shakespeare?  She does not do it for me!

BUT I felt like I couldn't quit on And Then There Were None because 1) I have this stupid complex about finishing books and 2) it was a book club selection for the book club that I started and host so I thought I definitely definitely had to read it.  Well I didn't read it.  And I'm still alive.  And right now I am admitting to myself and to all of you that I'm not going to finish it and that I'm going to allow myself to read something else Agatha-Christie-guilt-free.

So now I'm looking for some book ideas because I have two weeks off of work and blog and business coming up and I want TO READ.  Also 2016 is around the corner and we've got to find some 2016 selections for Bon's Book Club!  Tell me... what do you want to read?  What are the best books you've read this year?  What book would be perfect for an online book club selection?  For book club selection keep in mind that the book needs to be readable in a month so nowhere more than 400 pages or so.  Also as far as content goes, keep it somewhat PG-13... no insane amount of profanity or crazy graphic sex scenes...  I don't know.  I'm not too conservative with what I read, but we want it to be a book that most people feel comfortable reading and discussing.  (Sorry--- those guidelines are super vague, I know.)

I will take all of your suggestions for books and we will vote for 2016 book selections a week from today- on December 21.  I'll get the list compiled over Christmas break and we'll be all ready to go for the new year.  We need ten books- January through October and book club will always be the last Thursday of the month.  Read the book, write a blog post discussing the book, and then come here to talk about it.  It's so easy to be in book club!

I am looking for a few ways to be more successful with book club this year.  More consistency from the host (ahem... we're looking at you, Bonnie) is obviously key.  I would like to have a co-host each month again, but last year I made the mistake of scheduling all the co-hosts at the beginning of the year and it got too hard to keep track of.  So this year we're going to take it month by month.  Would any of you who live in Utah be interested in a in real life blogger/book club night?  Any other suggestions from you of ways to make book club more successful?  My dream is to have as many people checking in for book club posts as "how we wore it" posts.  Can't bloggers like both clothes and books?  DO I ASK TOO MUCH?!?!?

Alright.  I've talked long enough.  Give me some book suggestions.  Some things that I have wanted to read are:

Between parent and child- parenting book that was highly recommend to me.
Quiet- nonfiction book about introverts
Attachments by Rainbow Rowell
Anything by Anne Lamott
All the Stars in the Heaven (Clark Gable, Loretta Young romance)
Major Pettigrew's last stand- recommended by a friend

Let's talk books baby!


AROUND THE WEB THIS WEEK:

- I admit that part of the reason I haven't been reading as much lately is because late at night I've been downing episodes of this with Greg.  We can't get enough!

- If you live in Utah and are looking for some inside fun things to do this winter, I found this list to be helpful.

- One of my favorite bloggers of all time is Elizabeth Ivie.  She doesn't blog anymore, but she does have a rocking etsy shop.  If you're in the market for baby sheets, blankets, pillows, etc. she's got you covered.  She's been a huge inspiration of mine in blogging and teaching for forever and now she inspires me with her business.  So cool to see women out there just getting it done.

- This post by Danica (Stop telling Teens to Put Away their phones) has had me thinking for weeks now.  I always take my students' cell phones when they are on them during class but I always struggle with the choice.  What do you think?!?

- June's been a hot mess lately.  I've started putting these in every room in the house for some damage control.  How does anyone make it through toddlerhood?

Get yer deals!

Hi folks!

Just checking in real quick to let you know of a few deals we've got going on over at Hey June.  I love love love LOVE these gold filled (or sterling silver) and cubic zirconia dainty balls and squares.  They are perfect for holidays and every day wear.  BUT I have got my eyes on some new products I want to make for the new year, so I am marking these down to make room for new inventory.

SO... these are marked down from $28 to $18 AND Free shipping.  18 bucks straight up will get you your necklace at your door.  Great gifts for sisters, teachers, friends, etc.  You won't find such good quality at this low of a price anywhere else.  Gold filled and sterling silver is metal that will NOT turn colors or turn your neck colors--- pieces meant to last!

You can find those listings here here and here.  (Offer good only while supplies last)

And these open gold circles (14k gold filled) are on sale for $24 with no shipping charges through the end of the week.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Open gold circle necklace listing is here.

Last day to order for guaranteed Christmas delivery for international shipping is December 10. (TODAY.)
Last day to order for guaranteed Christmas delivery for domestic shipping is December 16.