Sometimes I wonder.
How will I look back on this time in my life?
When I'm 64 what will I think of 32 year old me?
32 year old Bonnie, going through a divorce, trying to keep it all together, making french toast for two babies in the morning, taking pictures for a jewelry sale in the afternoon, taking kids to a birthday party in the evening, putting kids down to bed, going to Rich Crazy Asians with friends, staying up until 1 am making cookies and editing jewelry pictures, doing what it takes to provide for herself and her babies. Sometimes feeling so overwhelmed with sorrow that she can't possibly go another day and sometimes feeling so overwhelmed with relief that this life is hers hers hers and she can make of it what she wants.
What will I think of this Bonnie? My now Bonnie that won't be now Bonnie for long, that in the blink of an eye now Bonnie will be past Bonnie who was once going through a very hard time.
I'm not 64 yet. So I don't know 64 year old Bonnie. I hope she has a lot of money and is having good sex. I hope she's not on any kind of lame diet. But mostly I hope she's kind and compassionate and patient. I think she is. I think she's looking at me and this experience and saying "Wow, Bonnie. You were so strong. You were so brave. You took such great care of those babies. You were kind and you were beautiful and you were tough as hell."
I think 64 year old Bonnie is saying those things to me.
And I think 32 year old Bonnie is too.
How will I look back on this time in my life?
When I'm 64 what will I think of 32 year old me?
32 year old Bonnie, going through a divorce, trying to keep it all together, making french toast for two babies in the morning, taking pictures for a jewelry sale in the afternoon, taking kids to a birthday party in the evening, putting kids down to bed, going to Rich Crazy Asians with friends, staying up until 1 am making cookies and editing jewelry pictures, doing what it takes to provide for herself and her babies. Sometimes feeling so overwhelmed with sorrow that she can't possibly go another day and sometimes feeling so overwhelmed with relief that this life is hers hers hers and she can make of it what she wants.
What will I think of this Bonnie? My now Bonnie that won't be now Bonnie for long, that in the blink of an eye now Bonnie will be past Bonnie who was once going through a very hard time.
I'm not 64 yet. So I don't know 64 year old Bonnie. I hope she has a lot of money and is having good sex. I hope she's not on any kind of lame diet. But mostly I hope she's kind and compassionate and patient. I think she is. I think she's looking at me and this experience and saying "Wow, Bonnie. You were so strong. You were so brave. You took such great care of those babies. You were kind and you were beautiful and you were tough as hell."
I think 64 year old Bonnie is saying those things to me.
And I think 32 year old Bonnie is too.
No comments:
Post a Comment