Dear mom: Please don't read this post.
That being said, let's forge ahead.
Now, I know I am going to take some heat for this and who knows what mean things those anonymous lurkers are going to have to say on the subject, but hey, when you gotta get something off your back you gotta get something off your back, don't you?
The issue in question is farting.
Or, as my childhood best friend used to call it, "Cutting the cheese." I can still hear her laugh now, in an army green 8 man tent camped along Scofield lake, "Bonnie! Was that you that just cut the cheese?" I always laughed uncontrollably, not only because of the fart but because of her word choice. Cut the cheese? Really? Really?
I don't know why it is that I've always thought farts are so funny. I'm sure my mother who raised us to be classy and proper and conservative finds it most disturbing that her daughter turned out this way. I'd like to blame it on my four other brothers, but if I'm being honest, I don't think it had much to do with them at all. Unless you count the time that Reed sat on my head. That might have affected something.
I remember feeling a little bit guilty that I thought farts were so funny. One day a friend told me about her brother and his wife who had been married for five years. "Cody has never once farted in front of Brittany in their whole years of marriage. Isn't that so sweet?"
I couldn't help but think to myself, "yes, that is sweet darn it! As funny as I might think bodily functions to be, I need a husband who will respect my self respect!" Or something like that? I vowed then and there to catch myself such a Hubs that would never do such an atrocious deed in front of his darling, petite wife.
Good news is I caught such a husband.
Bad news is said husband didn't catch such a wife.
Now before I go any further, I think I should point out that I don't think I'm gross or classless or stinky any of those yucky things. My stomach just hurts sometimes. And heck, I'm married to the boy, so shouldn't I have the comfort of being comfortable? Poor Hubs, he just rolls his eyes or exclaims, "Bonnie!" or acts like he has been mortally offended. I get he doesn't love it, but I can think of a lot grosser crimes. (Handicapped parking for one, you know what I'm saying?!?) I know others who would disagree with me. Hubs being one of them. He never farts around me. In his own words he "does everything possible to avoid it." And I do appreciate it, I do. But I also think our marriage would be just as kick butt (no pun intended) if he didn't feel the need to hold it in.
So what do ya'll think? Should bodily functions be something that you keep totally private, even within a marriage? Or is anything fair game now that you've tied the knot or are living together? Would you or have you let one loose in front of your significant other? And why are so many people so bothered about it?
That being said, let's forge ahead.
Now, I know I am going to take some heat for this and who knows what mean things those anonymous lurkers are going to have to say on the subject, but hey, when you gotta get something off your back you gotta get something off your back, don't you?
The issue in question is farting.
Or, as my childhood best friend used to call it, "Cutting the cheese." I can still hear her laugh now, in an army green 8 man tent camped along Scofield lake, "Bonnie! Was that you that just cut the cheese?" I always laughed uncontrollably, not only because of the fart but because of her word choice. Cut the cheese? Really? Really?
I don't know why it is that I've always thought farts are so funny. I'm sure my mother who raised us to be classy and proper and conservative finds it most disturbing that her daughter turned out this way. I'd like to blame it on my four other brothers, but if I'm being honest, I don't think it had much to do with them at all. Unless you count the time that Reed sat on my head. That might have affected something.
I remember feeling a little bit guilty that I thought farts were so funny. One day a friend told me about her brother and his wife who had been married for five years. "Cody has never once farted in front of Brittany in their whole years of marriage. Isn't that so sweet?"
I couldn't help but think to myself, "yes, that is sweet darn it! As funny as I might think bodily functions to be, I need a husband who will respect my self respect!" Or something like that? I vowed then and there to catch myself such a Hubs that would never do such an atrocious deed in front of his darling, petite wife.
Good news is I caught such a husband.
Bad news is said husband didn't catch such a wife.
Now before I go any further, I think I should point out that I don't think I'm gross or classless or stinky any of those yucky things. My stomach just hurts sometimes. And heck, I'm married to the boy, so shouldn't I have the comfort of being comfortable? Poor Hubs, he just rolls his eyes or exclaims, "Bonnie!" or acts like he has been mortally offended. I get he doesn't love it, but I can think of a lot grosser crimes. (Handicapped parking for one, you know what I'm saying?!?) I know others who would disagree with me. Hubs being one of them. He never farts around me. In his own words he "does everything possible to avoid it." And I do appreciate it, I do. But I also think our marriage would be just as kick butt (no pun intended) if he didn't feel the need to hold it in.
So what do ya'll think? Should bodily functions be something that you keep totally private, even within a marriage? Or is anything fair game now that you've tied the knot or are living together? Would you or have you let one loose in front of your significant other? And why are so many people so bothered about it?
