The Life of Bon: How to Become a Fashion Blogger: You really need this!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

How to Become a Fashion Blogger: You really need this!

Guys, I don't know if you know this, but I am so totally nailing it on the fashion blogging thing lately.  Like seriously rocking it.  It's so easy- I'm pretty much a pro at this point.  All you gotta do is get dressed and have whoever is around snap some pictures of you, right?  I know the rest of you are really struggling in your pursuit of fashion blogging queendom so I decided to help you out.  I present to you, everything you need to know to be the next big fashion blogger!  Thank me later, gals!


12 STEPS TO BECOMING A FASHION BLOGGER


1.  Pop your elbow or your knee. Or even better, both! It might feel a bit uncomfortable and weird, but trust me everyone will think you are so legit.  Hello fab!  (Oh, and never make a face like the one I'm making below.  Never.)



2.  Find a real photographer.  A self timer will only suffice for so long until people will realize you ain't the real deal.  You can't hide the stress that comes from running to your designated spot and trying to look cool as a cucumber in the picture.  People will see right through you!

3.  Wear bright lipstick.  Duh!  If your lips aren't bright red/ hot pink/ passionate purple you are so totally doing something wrong.



4.  If your budget is small, go to an expensive, gorgeous store (think Anthropologie or J. Crew) buy something, wear it for a picture, and then just take it back.  Everyone will think you're loaded AND that you've got mad style and you don't have to spend a cent! Win win!

5.  Try to stick your head out as much as possible for your pictures.  Your head may look a little big, but it's totally worth it because the rest of your body will look so little by comparison.  Everyone will think you're a skinny mini!  Take the picture below for example- my head: freakily huge and gross, right?  But my waist?  OMG it looks so skinny and cute I don't even care about how weird my head is!



6.  If you're feeling totally lost, remember these three things: polka dots, stripes, chevron.  You can't go wrong, my friend.  Nowdays anything goes (Hello, it's called pattern mixing!) so you can wear a striped top, a chevron skirt, and polka dot shoes.  You'll be getting compliments for daaaaaaaaaays!

7.  Don't wear sandals with socks.  Ever.  This isn't just a fashion blogging rule, but an overall life rule.  Break it and die.

8.  Don't wear white socks with dress shoes.  Don't wear socks with heels.  In fact, the only time you should wear socks is with sneakers.  And don't wear sneakers with a dress.  We all clear here?

9.  Maxi Maxi Maxi.  If you don't have at least three maxis in your closet, girl you shouldn't even be in the blogging world. Oh, and please don't jump for your pictures.  You'll look like a fool!



10.  Take pictures in the middle of the city.  No one will think it's weird when you stop for photos all by yourself and pose with your dainty little hand stroking your hair oh so gently. They'll think you're a celeb or even better, a model!

11.  If your makeup ain't looking too hot or you were up way too late, just throw a pair of sunglasses on and you're good to go.  The bigger your cute sunnies, the better.  No one will ever know that your face isn't at its best!  Way to trick the world!

12.  Never look directly at the camera.  It'll totally give you away.  It doesn't matter where you look, look anywhere except for directly at the dirty little lens!  If you want to look up at the sky like a possessed demon- go for it, girl!



12.  If all else fails, hide behind a big purse, a plant, or a dog.  We'll still be able to see part of your shirt and we'll just assume that you are a fabulous dresser!  Or even better, hide behind a cute boy!  We will all think you're cuter by association.  If you need to hire a cute boy try the mall.  Tell them you work for a talent agency or something and you'll have all the cute boys you need to take pictures with you in your oh so hot clothes!

Congrats!  You are now ready to be the next big fashion blogger!  Go take on the fashion world! 

For more of my unique and very smart wisdom you can check out  my post on how to do everything or how to be the next big blogging sensation that I wrote with my friend Tay Tay.  Of course, we're kidding in these posts.  Or are we?!?

40 comments:

  1. Hahaha this was great. #7 is legit, and the whole thing made me giggle. Fashion blogging is weird...

    xo Becky
    Seductive Mania

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  2. lol! Love it! This was so fun to read! 5 & 6, yep, mmhmm.

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  3. haha. your so great!

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  4. I was scrolling through my blog feed and saw a post (this post) titled 'How To Become A Fashion Blogger' and I almost scrolled past it because it isn't something I would read. But then I saw it was by YOU and almost jumped out of my chair with excitement because It was bound to be an amazing post, and it most definitely was. Bravo Bonnie!!

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  5. Bahahahahaha.

    I just realized you also teach high school English. I like you so much more now because we're CLEARLY kindred spirits. No?

    -Danielle
    littlebitofwowe.blogspot.com

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  6. welp, looks like I'm a fashion blogger.

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  7. This definitely had me giggling like a little girl by the end of it. So great!

    Reviews Until You Drop

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  8. This whole post is hilarious! I was giggling lots. I can't even pretend to take fashion blogging pictures, I feel so awkward!

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  9. You forgot the most important rule.. mastering the Duck face :/ LOL

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  10. lol, that's too funny. However, my neck isn't long enough to make me look skinny. But dang, what a cool trick!

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  11. And this is why you are the best.....
    Lauren

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  12. You are hilarious!! Love it Bonnie, I am embarrassed to be a fashion blogger, it really is ridiculous! :)

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  13. Bahahahaha!!! I loved this! So hilarious!!! :))

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  14. Sometimes I think I should just attempt Fashion Blogging just so that my audience can grow a bit. But then again I feel dumb posing for myself. haha
    http://johced-ourjourneytoeverywhere.blogspot.com/
    xxx

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  15. Loving this haha! I love your blog so much!
    Anna xo
    www.annarozanska.co.uk

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  16. BAHAHAHAHA this just made my day!! :)
    Jules

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  17. such great advice!!!! I think I'll go try this immediately! :)

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  18. Don't forget about taking pictures of yourself, with your iphone, in the mirror...and make sure you stand very straight, but also make sure you cut your head off. Apparently, it's important to just get the outfit, not your head. This is helpful if you feel that your face is not looking particularly cute.

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  19. So funny! But you forgot the top-knot! Messy yet chic haha. Speaking of fashion, I saw another blogger a few days ago who had the same red Albion Fit swimsuit. And she really is a fashion blogger! See, you were meant to be one.

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  20. Great post! I have been doing it all gone - haha!

    ~Diane @ SweetCatastropheBlog.com

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  21. That's hilarious! And sadly I do it from time to time.

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  22. Ha! This is awesome. "Pose with your dainty little hand stroking your hair oh so gently" just made my whole week.

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  23. Hilarious! I especially love the one about buying clothes from Anthropologie or J Crew and then just returning them. That gives me an idea...

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  24. "we'll all think you're cuter by association." you are one hilarious woman! LOL'ing for days

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  25. I have never thought of number four!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  26. This. was. awesome. I am ready to become a fashion blogger. Forget lifestyle blogging.

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  27. Becoming a fashion blogger in 3...2... oh my gosh this was hilarious! Fashion bloggers kill me. Don't they feel stupid taking pictures like that? If I asked my friends to take fashion pics of me, I would be mocked for the rest of my life. Way to go, Bonnie.

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  28. What I know about fashion could be written on a fingernail................lol

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  29. This is amazing Great pictures I love your blog so much!
    PrintingHost

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  30. You look absolutely gorgeous! really wonderful modeling lovely your stylist out fit thanks for sharing

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    nice party dresses

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  37. It's a really funny post. Nice to see someone making fun of fashion blogging and also great to see that people aren't getting mad!

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