Before we do anything else you should know that
1. Giveaway closes Wednesday. (On Halloween!) Get your buns moving!
and
2. Last call for November sponsors. Speak now or forever hold your peace!
Moving onward...
It's been a little while since I shared with you the nuggets of pure wisdom that have been escaping my students' mouths. They've really been on one lately, and I spend half my day trying to find a sticky note so that I can scribble down the hilarious crap that they are spewing. The picture above makes me students look like straight up angels. Don't be deceived. They are anything but. Below you will find some of the best of the best as far as quoting teenager goes. (An occasional italics means it's a comment by me. I couldn't resist!)
Written Words of Wisdom- taken from the angels' writing assignments:
Women get smarter and smarter by watching what their husbands do.
This teacher is chill as hell. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?
I cannot stand writing. I’d rather clean the bathroom all day or sit in despair and pick my nose than write an essay.
This book report is for my wonderful teacher. Yes, I would like extra credit for this.
Writing reminds me of old people because most of my language arts teachers were either really old or not very good looking at all.
I spike my hair up with gel every day it’s my best friend. Without it, I don’t know what I’d do.
A picture to describe writing is Ellen Degeneres because she is gay, but cool, just like writing.
The treatment to a woman should always be the best. But bad treatment to a woman that is a witch could possibly be excused.
Reading takes up too much time and it’s only good for someone who doesn’t have a life. Should I be offended?
Gatsby was a flawed character because he thought money could buy him happiness and hookers. Well, I am pretty certain that it can buy at least one of those things...
Tom was born in 1800. He died in 1898. He was 25 years old.
One of my English teachers never blinked and one looked like a man, but was actually a girl.
That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share it with anyone. After a student admitted being so upset one night that he punched a wall and broke his hand.
He compares love to church and I don’t know why anyone would compare love to church because I kind of hate church.
Everything worth anything is worth something. I had to read this about four times until I figured out it was saying absolutely nothing.
Now I know that these Shakespeare characters didn't have video games or football or Nascar, but come on, do something with your life!
Now we all know women are crazy. (Opening line of an essay about gender inequality)
I hate to tell you, Teacher, but this book was not believable at all. Star Trek was more convincing!
Words of Wisdom spoken out loud in class.
It’s so hot in here I’m sweating like a farm animal.
Was that someone's cell phone’s vibrating? It sounded like a robot farted.
He’s a smart kid, just says stupid things.
We chose to do our presentation on love. It’s important because, well… without love none of us would even exist... if you know what I mean... Teacher? Do you know what we mean?
(Yes, children. I know what you mean)
I’d rather read the dictionary than read this.
I hate short stories! They’re so freakin short!
Me: Keaton, what are you doing? Keaton: Smelling my wallet…
Me: Curtis, are you awake? Curtis: Kind of.
If Language Arts was a person, I’d shoot it.
When you’re a child you’re supposed to be a kid, get durty, burp, and fart in public.
I can’t write a five paragraph essay! I’m just a person who is much more to the point that that.
My pet peeve is when people ask me for a piece of gum. Gum is getting really expensive nowdays!
And lastly, I present to you...
Questions of Wisdom:
Was Mr. Moorman named Moorman because he is a Mormon? Yes, because characters are always named after their religion...
What was Shakespeare's first name? Was it just Shakespeare?
What the heck is Hitler Youth? Is that like Junior Jazz?
What is Tahiti?
What’s a character list? Is that like a list of characters?
So World War II was in the 1400s?
Me: Imagine that I am your mom, and that I smoked in high school...
Student: Oh my gosh you did!?!
Me: No! This is hypothetical. So I'm a mom, I smoked in high school and now I have a kid who is in high school.
Student: Oh my gosh, you do?!?
I know what you're thinking- I work with a bunch of freaking geniuses, right?!? What can I say, I am teaching the next Einstein!
Now chime in! Which of these quotes is the winner? I might even give my student who said it extra credit! Or maybe candy... Yah, let's go with candy.
1. Giveaway closes Wednesday. (On Halloween!) Get your buns moving!
and
2. Last call for November sponsors. Speak now or forever hold your peace!
Moving onward...
It's been a little while since I shared with you the nuggets of pure wisdom that have been escaping my students' mouths. They've really been on one lately, and I spend half my day trying to find a sticky note so that I can scribble down the hilarious crap that they are spewing. The picture above makes me students look like straight up angels. Don't be deceived. They are anything but. Below you will find some of the best of the best as far as quoting teenager goes. (An occasional italics means it's a comment by me. I couldn't resist!)
Written Words of Wisdom- taken from the angels' writing assignments:
Women get smarter and smarter by watching what their husbands do.
This teacher is chill as hell. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?
I cannot stand writing. I’d rather clean the bathroom all day or sit in despair and pick my nose than write an essay.
This book report is for my wonderful teacher. Yes, I would like extra credit for this.
Writing reminds me of old people because most of my language arts teachers were either really old or not very good looking at all.
I spike my hair up with gel every day it’s my best friend. Without it, I don’t know what I’d do.
A picture to describe writing is Ellen Degeneres because she is gay, but cool, just like writing.
The treatment to a woman should always be the best. But bad treatment to a woman that is a witch could possibly be excused.
Reading takes up too much time and it’s only good for someone who doesn’t have a life. Should I be offended?
Gatsby was a flawed character because he thought money could buy him happiness and hookers. Well, I am pretty certain that it can buy at least one of those things...
Tom was born in 1800. He died in 1898. He was 25 years old.
One of my English teachers never blinked and one looked like a man, but was actually a girl.
That’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share it with anyone. After a student admitted being so upset one night that he punched a wall and broke his hand.
He compares love to church and I don’t know why anyone would compare love to church because I kind of hate church.
Everything worth anything is worth something. I had to read this about four times until I figured out it was saying absolutely nothing.
Now I know that these Shakespeare characters didn't have video games or football or Nascar, but come on, do something with your life!
Now we all know women are crazy. (Opening line of an essay about gender inequality)
I hate to tell you, Teacher, but this book was not believable at all. Star Trek was more convincing!
When you’re a child you’re supposed to be a kid, get durty, burp, and fart in public.
Words of Wisdom spoken out loud in class.
It’s so hot in here I’m sweating like a farm animal.
Was that someone's cell phone’s vibrating? It sounded like a robot farted.
He’s a smart kid, just says stupid things.
We chose to do our presentation on love. It’s important because, well… without love none of us would even exist... if you know what I mean... Teacher? Do you know what we mean?
(Yes, children. I know what you mean)
I’d rather read the dictionary than read this.
I hate short stories! They’re so freakin short!
Me: Keaton, what are you doing? Keaton: Smelling my wallet…
Me: Curtis, are you awake? Curtis: Kind of.
If Language Arts was a person, I’d shoot it.
When you’re a child you’re supposed to be a kid, get durty, burp, and fart in public.
I can’t write a five paragraph essay! I’m just a person who is much more to the point that that.
My pet peeve is when people ask me for a piece of gum. Gum is getting really expensive nowdays!
And lastly, I present to you...
Questions of Wisdom:
Was Mr. Moorman named Moorman because he is a Mormon? Yes, because characters are always named after their religion...
What was Shakespeare's first name? Was it just Shakespeare?
What the heck is Hitler Youth? Is that like Junior Jazz?
What is Tahiti?
What’s a character list? Is that like a list of characters?
So World War II was in the 1400s?
Me: Imagine that I am your mom, and that I smoked in high school...
Student: Oh my gosh you did!?!
Me: No! This is hypothetical. So I'm a mom, I smoked in high school and now I have a kid who is in high school.
Student: Oh my gosh, you do?!?
I know what you're thinking- I work with a bunch of freaking geniuses, right?!? What can I say, I am teaching the next Einstein!
Now chime in! Which of these quotes is the winner? I might even give my student who said it extra credit! Or maybe candy... Yah, let's go with candy.
