Father's Day week is typically the hardest week of the year for me. It doesn't help that my pop's birthday is June 18- the two holidays always fall very close to each other, if not on the exact same day. There is something about the edge of Father's day that is harder than anything else. Harder than the birthday, harder than the anniversary of his death. Maybe it's because those other days go by unnoticed by so much of the world. I can mourn quietly in my heart, and I'll call my mom to make sure she's okay, but the rest of the world just keeps on moving on, and somehow that makes it easier. I still go to work, nobody knows the significance of the day, and the hours are a quiet remembering of my dad.
I suppose Father's day is hard because it is such a loud day to remember my dad. It's impossible to go about business as usual. Everyone is shouting from the rooftops about dads. Dads are so great! I love my dad! Going to barbeque tonight with my dad! The speakers in church go on and on about how great their dads are, how blessed they are to share this day about them. Instagram is chalked full of pictures of all of you sharing the day with your dads. Facebook statuses run longer than usual, as everyone elaborates on the awesomeness of their dads and how much they look forward to the years ahead. For those reasons, Father's Day is the sharpest of holidays for me, the day where the pain of his absence is most acute.
So I'll hold my breath, put on a brave face, and request extra long hugs from Greg tomorrow. I am excited for the day when Father's Day isn't something I have to "get through" anymore, but a day that I can again enjoy and look forward to. How many years does that take? One? Five? Ten?
Or....
Maybe I should make old Greg a father? That'd surely do the trick...
On my dad:
+ My dad's death taught me with a surety that God doesn't take without giving back.
+ Some of my favorite memories of my dad involve cherry cokes and a stick shift.
+ What my dad taught me about the good old days
+ Doing really crappy chores often reminds me of my dad. Say what?!?
+ A post in which I talk for a very long time about the process of grieving
