The Life of Bon: blogging book club
Showing posts with label blogging book club. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging book club. Show all posts

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Bon's Book Club: My Story by Elizabeth Smart


HOW IT WORKS

Every month we read a book.  On the selected day, we talk about it. (Generally the last Thursday of the month).  I will do my darndest to post questions ahead of time so that you can be thinking of possible discussion topics as you read.

Join in for whatever books you can.  I know you are all busy, and you might not be able to read all the books. (Or be interested in reading all the books!)  Read what you want and comment on what you want.  Some readers write their own review on their blog and then link up to it, others just write their thoughts in the comments- it's up to you!  If you write your own post and link up, please slap the image above on your post! Grazi!

FEBRUARY BOOK:
MY STORY BY ELIZABETH SMART




Questions:
+ What made you feel connected (or disconnected) to Elizabeth throughout the story?
+ What was something that amazed/ shocked you when reading her story?
+ Was the writing style an issue for you?  Why or why not? 
+ What was most impressive to you about Elizabeth's story?


My co-host and partner in crime this month is April from Hansen Love.   Here are her thoughts:

Where to start about this book? 

Amazing! Inspiring! Uplifting!

Everyone who is anyone knows the story of Elizabeth Smart. How she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City, Utah when she was 14 years old. Her captors, Brian David Mitchell and Wanda Barzee, took her to live up in the mountains not far from her home. Mitchell believed that he was some modern day prophet that was sent to come and marry 7 virgins and save humanity. 

Sadly Elizabeth was one of those that Mitchell believed was sent to be one of his wives. 

Mitchell and Barzee, many many  moons ago 

Mitchell and Barzee during Elizabeth's trial.

This book was a little bit of a shock to me. Growing up and living in Utah, even though I was younger, I remember hearing about what she went through after she was found. I read the news stories that were told during the trials for Mitchell and Barzee and I was shocked even more while reading this book to hear Elizabeth's everyday life with these two. 

 I loved the voice that was used for telling Elizabeth's story. She did a fantastic job of recounting what happened with using just enough emotion to pull you in but not too much that you think that she is whining and complaining. Don't get me wrong she has every right to whine and complain especially after everything she went through, but she did an excellent job. I felt like I was there watching the whole thing. 

There were times while I was reading that I would have to remember that she was rescued and she is okay! I would come home on my lunch and pick up where I left off. She would be talking about how she went days without food, and here I was munching down on my PB&J laying on my couch and I felt bad that I had all of this and she didn't have anything! It really reminded me that there are others out there that don't have anything. 

The thing that amazed me about reading the book is that after everything that happened, you would expect Elizabeth to be ruined. But she has gone on and become a motivational speaker and has her own foundation that helps prevent crimes against children. She has taken this absolutely horrible situation that she was placed in at such a young age and turned it around and made it something amazing. Her mothers advice is absolutely perfect:

“You be happy, Elizabeth. Just be happy. If you go and feel sorry for yourself, or if you dwell on what has happened, if you hold on to your pain, that is allowing (Mitchell) to steal more of your life away. So don’t you do that. Don’t you let him. There is no way that he deserves that. Not one more second of your life.”


Thanks April!  And, of course, I couldn't resist adding my two (or two hundred) cents...


THE WRITING STYLE
First things first- the book is not well written.  At times I felt like Elizabeth was almost emotionally detached while telling the story.  It felt like I was reading a newspaper account of the events.  I suppose this might be how she has to deal with everything that happened, but it did feel odd that I didn't feel more of emotional reaction from her while reading the book.  At times the writing was even a bit painful for me because it was so bad.  It was frustrating to me that for a story of this intensity and with this amount of interest, better efforts weren't made to find a really good ghost writer- or at the least an amazing editor.  HOWEVER, the story was fascinating enough to me that I ended up being able to turn off the part of my head that cares about writing quality and just focus on the story.  Still, a better writer would have really made this book more enjoyable, and I believe, made the message of hope and forgiveness from the book even more powerful.

WHAT SHOCKED ME
+ I was shocked to read that Brian David Mitchell tried two other times to kidnap a young girl to take for his wife- like he had Elizabeth.  One of these items he tried to kidnap Elizabeth's own cousin.  Both times he failed- when trying to kidnap Elizabeth's cousin something fell over in the house and crashed which led him to run.  Mitchell required that all his victims be young (easily manipulated) and Mormon (inexperienced and innocent.)

+ I was very interested in the way Elizabeth talked about Mitchell. She says several times that Mitchell was a master manipulator.  He was not insane, as he pleaded during the trial, nor did he sincerely believe that he was doing God's errand by kidnapping these girls as he claimed- he was just using religion and insanity as tools to manipulate and control others.

+ Reading about the abuse that Elizabeth went through was heart wrenching. She was raped nearly every day, tied up like an animal, forced to go naked in the camp, forced to pee and poo in front of Mitchell and his wife, Wanda Barzee.  She went without food and water, was forced to drink alcohol until she threw up and passed out, etc.  (Smart, at 14 years old, woke up in her own vomit from drinking too much alcohol.)   I had known all of this, but hearing the day by day experiences from Elizabeth's own mouth made it all much more real.  I also wonder if reading this after having my own daughter made me more sensitive, but it was a very emotionally taxing book to read.

Elizabeth Smart at the time of her kidnapping- this picture was posted all over Utah.

+ Something interesting that I didn't know is that Mitchell would say prayers for sometimes and hour or more and force them to all kneel on the hard ground the entire time.  In his prayers he would praise himself and thank God following him to be chosen and all this other garbage.  It was infuriating to me to see somebody use something as good as God and prayer to carry out such evil and twisted purposes. I know it happens all the time, but again, to see it so close up like that made it hit home much more to me.

+ I think the most frustrating part of the book was reading about all the opportunities that Elizabeth had to escape. There were several times that they were out in public and Elizabeth did nothing to escape.  She felt no feelings of love or compassion for her captors like some have speculated, just that she was absolutely terrified. She was always covered head to toe so people couldn't see her, but I just couldn't believe that in a huge crowd she wouldn't yell out or try to leave. The most mind boggling was the story she recounts of being in a public library and being approached by a police man.  The police came and point blank asked Elizabeth if she was Elizabeth Smart.  She was covered so he couldn't see her face. Elizabeth didn't say who she was. Instead Mitchell jumped in, claiming that Elizabeth couldn't uncover her face or speak because it was against their religion. (Again, using religion to manipulate.) The officer didn't persist, and Mitchell left the library with Elizabeth safely in tow. It was so so frustrating that she didn't say anything in that moment.  She explains why she didn't, saying that she was only fourteen years old and she was terrified. Mitchell had threatened her that if she said anything or did anything to aid in her capture that he would kill her whole family.  Even if he was in jail he said that he had friends that would kill Elizabeth's family.  Adults have a better perception of reality and understand that a man wouldn't really send friends to kill your whole family while in jail (or that a man like Mitchell wouldn't even have "friends" to do this for him), but a fourteen year old wouldn't be able to quite grasp that.  Especially a fourteen year old like Elizabeth who was very sheltered and naive.  Also, I think the fear kind of took on a life of its own.  Elizabeth mentioned many times how paralyzing it was.  I think most of us have never been in a situation when we are faced with extreme fear like that, but my guess is that logic kind of goes out the window at that point and you just do what you can to survive.


A picture of Elizabeth at a rave the summer she was captured.  She is on the left, whispering to Wanda Barzee.  So sad that she didn't say anything to anyone!  (Also, that man's hair is on fire!)

+ Something else that surprised me as I read was how much I hated Wanda Barzee.  I knew I hated Brian David Mitchell, the man who kidnapped Elizabeth, but as I read I found that I hated Barzee just as much.  Even though she didn't carry out the plans, she sat and watched it happen, and to me that is just as bad.  She is a mother (I believe she has six kids?) herself, and to sit there and let a fourteen year old girl be abused and raped like that and do nothing to stop it is inexcusable.  I was filled with so much disgust for both Mitchell and Barzee.

WHAT MOST IMPRESSED ME
Throughout the entire book, Elizabeth has an incredible attitude.  She prays and thanks God for her family, and is able to remain mentally and spiritually strong throughout the experience.  It was incredible to see her strength and tenacity.  She was kidnapped in June and she explains her Thanksgiving day with her captors.  She says that on that day she makes a mental list of everything she has to be grateful for- after five months of being abused and raped and starved.  I was also impressed with Elizabeth's attitude after she returned home- the quote that April mentioned stuck out to me as well.  She was able to forgive her captors and move on, not letting them take any more of her life or her experiences away from her.

At one point in the book Elizabeth says something like "I am 25 years old.  That means I have lived 300 months.  Nine of those months were pretty horrible.  But the other 291 have been great and I have been extremely blessed.  So how can I focus on the nine bad months when the other months were so good?"  Pretty amazing attitude, right there.

Now, thirteen years later, Elizabeth seems to have healed and recovered.  She has served an 18 month mission in Paris for the LDS church, has graduated from college, and has married.  She also speaks out as an activist on behalf of kidnapping survivors and child victims of violence and sexual abuse.



Elizabeth now- 27 years old.


Alright, that book review got way too long.  I apologize- the whole story is just so fascinating to me.  I can't wait to hear your thoughts!  Leave your thoughts below or if you wrote your own post make sure to link up!

And don't forget to join in next month!  We are reading Amy Poehler's Yes, Please and will discuss the book on Thursday, March 26.












Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Bon's Book Club: The Husband's Secret



Alright ladies!  BOOK CLUB TIME!  This is a LINK UP so if you did your own post make sure to link it up.  I have this dream of having a huge online book club for all like minded women who love to read and discuss literature.  Imagine the possibilities!  Oh, and if you are writing your own post please slap the above picture on it somewhere.  Grazi!

January's book was The Husband's Secret by Liane Mortiary.  Here are the questions that I posed to you last night:



+ The book is told from the viewpoint of three women.  Which women did you like the most and why?  Whom did you dislike the most and why?

+ What would you have done if you had found out the secret that Celia did?  Did you agree with the way she handled it?  What is the "right" thing to do in a situation like that?


+ What was the point of the side story with Tess?  Do you excuse the way she acted during that week because of the uncertainty in her marriage?


+ Do you believe the bike accident was adequate "penance" for what John Paul had done?


+ Did you like the resolution of the book?  Did you feel there was enough closure?


CHARACTERS:
Let's start with Tess.  Oh, I hated Tess.  The least likeable character in the book by far for me.  I did not understand at all why Mortiary even put that whole little side story in with Tess and Felicity and Will.  It didn't have anything to do with the main plot of the story, and I felt like it dragged the book big time.  I really disagreed with the way Tess handled everything and I feel like there were a lot of inconsistencies in her character.  As soon as Will says that he's in love with Felicity she just high tails it out of there and says, "Fine! Sleep together!" which was so weird to me.  Why wouldn't you fight for your marriage?  She totally abandons him, and then blames him for everything that is wrong with their marriage.

Oh, yah and then she sleeps with her ex boyfriend (whom she doesn't even remember at first!) MORE THAN ONCE, enjoys it, is slightly infatuated by him, and then practically acts annoyed with her husband when he wants to reconcile.  Oh, AND THEN she never tells her husband that she slept with someone else.  I could not believe this and was really just turned off by Tess as a character.  By the end I didn't care what happened to her, I didn't want her to enjoy happiness, I just wanted her out of the book.  I feel bad for Will that he's married to a cheat and a liar, and I feel so bad for Connor that she basically used him for pleasure.  Connor was actually one of my favorite characters in the book and he was just pretty much used by everyone around him.  No wonder he needs therapy.

OH! And the real kicker is that at the end it says that Tess has a baby that was conceived the week she slept with both Connor and Will and she just always keeps it her little secret that the kid looks just like Connor.  This was almost enough to make me not like the book at all- it seemed so flippant like this was some kind of happy resolution for everyone.  And there's Connor getting screwed again- poor guy doesn't even know he has a kid out there in the world. I seriously felt so bad for him.

I also hated the way Tess viewed her marriage.  Like it was an absolute chore and a drudgery to her.  One of the nights she sleeps with Connor she goes out on a motorcycle ride with him and it says, "no matter how badly it hurt, she didn't want to be home in Melbourne, baking and watching television and doing invoices.  She wanted to be right here, soaring along on this bike, her heart thumping, letting her know she was alive."  I just hate the way this portrayed marriage in general, like the better option was always to be the back of a dirt bike with some total stranger. 

Rachel: She was only slightly more likeable to me than Tess, but I hated how obsessed she was over her daughter's death that had happened 25 years ago.  I get that it was an unsolved murder or what not, but 25 years?!?  She didn't seem to mourn the passing of her husband at all, only focused on her daughter.  Also, I hated the way she treated her son and daughter in law.  Here she was a living child, and she is a total brat to him.  I feel like she had totally wasted her entire life in mourning the loss of her daughter and wasn't able to see any of the goodness right here and now in her life.

Celia:  Here, to me, was the strength of the novel.  I loved almost everything about Celia.  I loved her attention to detail, her quirkiness, that she sells freaking tupperware for a living and makes a killing off of it.  I thought Mortiary really excelled with Celia in developing a complicated, lifelike, and extremely likeable character.  I especially loved how she chatted nonstop when she was nervous and always bugged people with her insistence.  Such a great, real character to me.

As far as the main predicament of the book- Celia finds out that her husband committed murder 25 years ago- I LOVED it.  I loved the way she reacted to it, the way she tried to come to terms with it, how she withdrew from her husband but at the same time couldn't leave him.  I have no idea how I would react in a situation like this, but I love that the book made me consider several possibilities.  It wasn't so far fetched that I felt like it could never really happen.  Honestly,  if Greg told me 25 years from now that he had killed a girl at age 17- that he never meant to kill her, that it happened before he could realize- I can understand doing what Celia did.  What good would it do now to turn him in and where he had a family and kids who need him now...  But then at the same time it does feel so unjust to leave that poor woman, Rachel, not knowing for all those years, haunted by the unknown.  Also is unfair to Connor who deals with feelings of guilt all those years after even though he never did a thing to the girl.  (Again, Connor getting screwed over.) Such a good conflict- I love it!

Also, this is kind of random but WHAT was the point of all the talk of the Berlin wall?  I feel like it was supposed to be some recurring symbol or whatever in the book, but whatever it was Mortiary was trying to say did not come across very well.  I got so tired of the Berlin wall talk and other the "small talk" in the book.  A lot of the times I felt like the pacing of the book was slow because of long, tiresome details and conversations between characters that did not play into the plot.

Alright, there's more I could say, but I am going to be done for now.  I'm excited to see the points you bring up and I am hoping for an energetic, lively discussion in the comments.  If you did your own post on the book make sure to link up!!!

The book for February is I am Malala by Mala Yousafzai.  We will be discussing it on February 27.  Be there!