Bon's Book Club: Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin

HOW IT WORKS

Every month we read a book.  On the selected day, we talk about it.  Join in for whatever books you can.  I know you are all busy, and you might not be able to read all the books. (Or be interested in reading all the books!)  Read what you want and comment on what you want.  Some readers write their own review on their blog and then link up to it, others just write their thoughts in the comments- it's up to you!  If you write your own post and link up, please slap the image above on your post! Grazi!

OCTOBER BOOK:  

HAPPIER AT HOME

GRETCHEN RUBIN

Picture Source

This month's selection for Bon's Book Club was Happier at Home (or The Happiness Project) by Gretchen Rubin.  Happiness Project is the original, but I had already read that, so I opted for the sequel- Happier at Home with the option for you guys to read the original if you haven't already.

I really dig Gretchen Rubin.  She gets me.  I get her.  She and I are one.  Kind of.  I love how organized and slightly neurotic she is, and I love that she totally owns it. (Be Gretchen!  One of her commandments.)  The premise of both books is that Rubin decides to be more purposeful about being happier.  It isn't that she's not happy at that moment, she just wants to be happier.  I really love that.  I consider myself a pretty happy person, but the last few months in particular I've been thinking more about the psychology of happiness and I love the idea of making purposeful goals to hit my max level of possible happiness.

In both books Rubin takes a goal a month and conquers it with lots of mini goals.  For example, her goal in October is "Marriage" and her sub goals include things like "Kiss in the morning, kiss at night" "Give gold stars" (praising a partner for good deeds) and "Make the positive argument."  I love the way she breaks down the goals, and in fact one year I even tried this for my new year resolution. I failed miserably because that was the year of lots of happy curve balls.  New house! New baby! New job!  All were awesome awesome things that happened to our family, but it made for my little individual goals shot out the window.  You need a certain amount of stability in your life to worry about little goals like remembering to kiss your spouse in the morning.  ANYWAY, I am hoping to revisit that resolution/ goal habit with more success in 2016.  We shall see.

Some stuff from the book I really liked:
- In one section Rubin makes the goal to "embrace good smells." I had never really put words to it before, but I am a "good smell" fanatic.  I keep wanting to give up my strange little stint selling scentsy products but I looooooove good smells.  I feel comforted and happy when I walk into my house and it smells good.  I love my car to smell good, my clothes to smell good, my body to smell good.  Rubin talks alot about just being more aware of smells and allowing ourselves to take time to appreciate them.  I really liked that.  (And I don't mean to pimp my scentsy biz, but if any of you are as obsessed with fall/winter smells as I am, you can hit me up for suggestions.  I just got my fall and holiday scents for this year and they are to die for.  For fall I love autumn sunrise, autumn sunset, orange amber, and cozy fireside.  For winter/Christmas I love eskimo kiss, whiteout, snowy spruce, iced pine, and silver bells.  Scentsy really takes it up a notch when it comes to holiday smells. Seriously, check them out if you love good smells and let me know if you have questions/ want suggestions.)

- One of my favorite suggestions is to "Under react to a problem."  I tend to be a huge over reactor so I love the suggestion to downplay things.  In general, I think my life would be happier if I didn't think things were such big deals.  Because they're usually not.

- I really identify with Rubin when she talks about being frustrated with herself/ not feeling like she is making progress.  "I was weary of myself- my broken promises to do better, my small-minded grudges, my wearisome fears, my narrow preoccupations."  YES.  I am tired of myself all the time.

- I'm not happy unless I think I'm happy.  Recognizing moments of happiness are just as important as the happiness itself.  I feel like this is kind of an extension of being present/ mindfulness.  You can't be happy if you don't recognize that you're happy.

- On slowing down the pace of life:
"Really skillful people never get out of time, and are always deliberate, and never appear busy.  I wanted a pace of life that was deliberate that felt neither fast nor slow."  

I love this.  I hate appearing busy, and I hate when I am spending time with someone and I feel like they are hurried, stressed, and already thinking about what they have to do next.  I want to hit that perfect middle ground- a life not too fast nor too slow. Lots of things contribute to a hurried feeling- including the space we are living in.  She mentions cleaning out closets, clearing clutter, selling old stuff, taking stuff to thrift stores-- it all gives us more space in our homes and minds and allows us to feel less hurried.  INTERESTING.  I cleaned out my closet the next week and I absolutely found it to be true!  Now if I can just get the energy to tackle the pantry!

"Be Gretchen"  Or in my case, Be Bonnie.  I think this might have been my favorite part of the whole book- to accept the things that make us happy and the things that don't.  Staying up really late doesn't make me happy anymore.  Waking up early and getting the house cleaned and having a few moments to myself to read does make me happy.  Doing puzzles makes me happy.  Spending time outside makes me happy.  Watching lots of tv does not make me happy.  (Although a little tv makes me very happy.  A lot makes me very grumpy.)  I just loved the way Rubin embraced who she is and worked her life and her happiness goals around that instead of trying to come up with some universal what everyone else wants happiness theory.

On Work v. Talent:
"Persistence is more important to mastery than innate ability, because the single most important element in developing an expertise is the willingness to practice."

Killer statement right there!

Alright, I promised Greg I'd be done with this review at 9:00 so we can cuddle and watch a movie together.  The point is I really love Gretchen Rubin and I really enjoyed this book.  I highly recommend it to anyone.  I actually think I liked it more than the original.  I don't agree with everything Rubin says- she is way too much of a structured person than I am- but I don't have to adopt everything she says, only the things that work for me (Be Bonnie.)  She talks about making a goal to have conversations with her parents about their wills which is something I will never do to increase happiness.  I simply don't care and I trust my mom has got it under control.  Rubin also talks about this huge writing project she undertakes with her sister.  Rubin clearly likes to be productive, successful, and busy.  I like those things, too, but in moderation and I certainly am not going to tackle huge projects with an already very busy plate like she does.  That makes me more unhappy than happy.

If you haven't read either of these books, I suggest you do.  They are both nonfiction, very readable, and you can start to skim parts when she gets repetitive.

Those of you who read it, what parts did you love?  Any suggestions you are going to take into your daily lives?  Can't wait to hear your thoughts!  Leave your comments and links to your blog site below.

Book Club 2015- Time for Book Suggestions!

Welp, 2014 is wrapping up and you know what that mean- it's time to start thinking of 2015 books for Bon's Book Club.  Before we dive into 2015, though, let's recap what we read this year!

January: The Husband's Secret by Liane Mortiary. Discussion here.

February:  I am Malala by Malala Yousafzai. Discussion here.

March: Divergent by Veronica Roth. Discussion here.

April:  Night Circus by Eric Morgenstern.  Discussion here.

May:  The Light Between Oceans. Discussion here.

June:  Matilda by Roald Dahl. Discussion here.

July:  In Cold Blood  by Truman Capote. Discussion here.

August:  Brain on Fire:  My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan. Discussion here.

September:  Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell. Discussion here.

October:  Z by Therese Ann Fowler. Discussion here.

My favorite books of the year:  Z and In Cold Blood (Also, I am really enjoying Wonder which was November's book but has now been moved to January's book for 2015.)
Least favorite books of the year: Night Circus, Divergent, Eleanor and Park
Books I learned the most from: I am Malala and Brain on Fire

2014 got off to a really rough start for book club.  I did not enjoy the first four books, and I only really loved two of the books. My three favorite books that I read this year were not book club books. (Seabiscuit, Bringing up Bebe, and Me Before You). I am hoping 2015 brings in a better book crop!  So let's get to it, shall we? We've got twelve months ahead of us and there are books that need reading!

There are some things I really like about book club the way it is now and some things that I am going to try to change to make it better.  I love that the books are voted on and chosen in advance.  This year I am going to choose three and have you all vote for the rest.  We will have book club the THIRD THURSDAY of each month.

The biggest change for 2015 is that I am going to be asking for co-hosts for each month's book discussion.  That will mean that one of you will read the book, give questions for the book one week before the discussion, and post the main discussion on my blog as well as on your own blog.  I will add my two cents and respond to what you said in your discussion, but one of you will be the head honcho for the discussion. You will also be active with me in responding to comments in the discussion. I love book club so much, but I just can't keep up with reading the book, thinking of the questions, and leading the discussion every month.  This way lots of you will get a chance to be more involved, and hopefully it will send some traffic over to your blog and you can make new book/ blog friends.  Not a bad deal, huh?

One other small change- no December book!  It's just impossible. January and February's book of 2015 are already chosen because they are the books we were supposed to read in November and December- Wonder and My Story: The Elizabeth Smart Story.

So, what we need now is to decide on what books we are going to read for 2015.  We need books for March through November- nine books!  I will choose three and you will vote for the other six.  Throw your suggestions out in the comments on this post or you can also comment on facebook or twitter and those will be added into the mix too.  On Monday of next week we will vote.  Here are last year's finalists if you need help getting your book wheels turning. (Suggestions should be 400 pages or less and should be pg or pg-13ish in their content.)

Bon's Book Club: The Husband's Secret

Alright ladies!  BOOK CLUB TIME!  This is a LINK UP so if you did your own post make sure to link it up.  I have this dream of having a huge online book club for all like minded women who love to read and discuss literature.  Imagine the possibilities!  Oh, and if you are writing your own post please slap the above picture on it somewhere.  Grazi!

January's book was The Husband's Secret by Liane Mortiary.  Here are the questions that I posed to you last night:

+ The book is told from the viewpoint of three women.  Which women did you like the most and why?  Whom did you dislike the most and why?

+ What would you have done if you had found out the secret that Celia did?  Did you agree with the way she handled it?  What is the "right" thing to do in a situation like that?

+ What was the point of the side story with Tess?  Do you excuse the way she acted during that week because of the uncertainty in her marriage?

+ Do you believe the bike accident was adequate "penance" for what John Paul had done?

+ Did you like the resolution of the book?  Did you feel there was enough closure?

CHARACTERS:
Let's start with Tess.  Oh, I hated Tess.  The least likeable character in the book by far for me.  I did not understand at all why Mortiary even put that whole little side story in with Tess and Felicity and Will.  It didn't have anything to do with the main plot of the story, and I felt like it dragged the book big time.  I really disagreed with the way Tess handled everything and I feel like there were a lot of inconsistencies in her character.  As soon as Will says that he's in love with Felicity she just high tails it out of there and says, "Fine! Sleep together!" which was so weird to me.  Why wouldn't you fight for your marriage?  She totally abandons him, and then blames him for everything that is wrong with their marriage.

Oh, yah and then she sleeps with her ex boyfriend (whom she doesn't even remember at first!) MORE THAN ONCE, enjoys it, is slightly infatuated by him, and then practically acts annoyed with her husband when he wants to reconcile.  Oh, AND THEN she never tells her husband that she slept with someone else.  I could not believe this and was really just turned off by Tess as a character.  By the end I didn't care what happened to her, I didn't want her to enjoy happiness, I just wanted her out of the book.  I feel bad for Will that he's married to a cheat and a liar, and I feel so bad for Connor that she basically used him for pleasure.  Connor was actually one of my favorite characters in the book and he was just pretty much used by everyone around him.  No wonder he needs therapy.

OH! And the real kicker is that at the end it says that Tess has a baby that was conceived the week she slept with both Connor and Will and she just always keeps it her little secret that the kid looks just like Connor.  This was almost enough to make me not like the book at all- it seemed so flippant like this was some kind of happy resolution for everyone.  And there's Connor getting screwed again- poor guy doesn't even know he has a kid out there in the world. I seriously felt so bad for him.

I also hated the way Tess viewed her marriage.  Like it was an absolute chore and a drudgery to her.  One of the nights she sleeps with Connor she goes out on a motorcycle ride with him and it says, "no matter how badly it hurt, she didn't want to be home in Melbourne, baking and watching television and doing invoices.  She wanted to be right here, soaring along on this bike, her heart thumping, letting her know she was alive."  I just hate the way this portrayed marriage in general, like the better option was always to be the back of a dirt bike with some total stranger. 

Rachel: She was only slightly more likeable to me than Tess, but I hated how obsessed she was over her daughter's death that had happened 25 years ago.  I get that it was an unsolved murder or what not, but 25 years?!?  She didn't seem to mourn the passing of her husband at all, only focused on her daughter.  Also, I hated the way she treated her son and daughter in law.  Here she was a living child, and she is a total brat to him.  I feel like she had totally wasted her entire life in mourning the loss of her daughter and wasn't able to see any of the goodness right here and now in her life.

Celia:  Here, to me, was the strength of the novel.  I loved almost everything about Celia.  I loved her attention to detail, her quirkiness, that she sells freaking tupperware for a living and makes a killing off of it.  I thought Mortiary really excelled with Celia in developing a complicated, lifelike, and extremely likeable character.  I especially loved how she chatted nonstop when she was nervous and always bugged people with her insistence.  Such a great, real character to me.

As far as the main predicament of the book- Celia finds out that her husband committed murder 25 years ago- I LOVED it.  I loved the way she reacted to it, the way she tried to come to terms with it, how she withdrew from her husband but at the same time couldn't leave him.  I have no idea how I would react in a situation like this, but I love that the book made me consider several possibilities.  It wasn't so far fetched that I felt like it could never really happen.  Honestly,  if Greg told me 25 years from now that he had killed a girl at age 17- that he never meant to kill her, that it happened before he could realize- I can understand doing what Celia did.  What good would it do now to turn him in and where he had a family and kids who need him now...  But then at the same time it does feel so unjust to leave that poor woman, Rachel, not knowing for all those years, haunted by the unknown.  Also is unfair to Connor who deals with feelings of guilt all those years after even though he never did a thing to the girl.  (Again, Connor getting screwed over.) Such a good conflict- I love it!

Also, this is kind of random but WHAT was the point of all the talk of the Berlin wall?  I feel like it was supposed to be some recurring symbol or whatever in the book, but whatever it was Mortiary was trying to say did not come across very well.  I got so tired of the Berlin wall talk and other the "small talk" in the book.  A lot of the times I felt like the pacing of the book was slow because of long, tiresome details and conversations between characters that did not play into the plot.

Alright, there's more I could say, but I am going to be done for now.  I'm excited to see the points you bring up and I am hoping for an energetic, lively discussion in the comments.  If you did your own post on the book make sure to link up!!!

The book for February is I am Malala by Mala Yousafzai.  We will be discussing it on February 27.  Be there!

Y'all ready for this?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

Tomorrow is book club day.  Ah, yah.  I know a lot of you have been reading The Husband's Secret and I am so freaking excited to discuss it all with you.  I finished it last weekend and I have been dying to talk about it with someone so book club can not come soon enough for me.

For those of you who are doing a post tomorrow, here are some questions to get your brains ticking.  These questions are totally optional, you can answer any or all (or none!) of them, I just know that some of us draw blanks when we're told "discuss a book!"  This should help to get us moving.  Of course, any other things you want to discuss are totally free game.  (If you want to join in on book club go here for all the details!)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
(Spoilers in questions.  Or at least hints of spoilers.)
+ The book is told from the viewpoint of three women.  Which women did you like the most and why?  Whom did you dislike the most and why?
+ What would you have done if you had found out the secret that Celia did?  Did you agree with the way she handled it?  What is the "right" thing to do in a situation like that?
+ What was the point of the side story with Tess?  Do you excuse the way she acted during that week because of the uncertainty in her marriage?
+ Do you believe the bike accident was adequate "penance" for what John Paul had done?
+ Did you like the resolution of the book?  Did you feel there was enough closure?

Oh, and I made a button!  If you would be so kind to slap this bad boy someplace on your post tomorrow I would be so grateful.

Also, upon further examination, that button sucks.  I'll have a new one by next week I can pretty much promise that.

I seriously can't wait to read all your posts.  My review will go up Wednesday night in between 7-8 pm mountain time so come link yours up anytime after that.

Also- January giveaway winner of the $100 cash is Stacie Skinner-Hoxsie.  Congrats!  You will be receiving an email from me tomorrow.

Taking over for me today is the beautiful Erin.  This woman is going to pop out her first born child any day now, so she is here to share with me wisdom and tales of horror.  If you think Erin looks familiar, you are right, this isn't her first go around on Life of Bon.  Sometimes when something's that good you just gotta hit it twice, you know?

Hello Life of Bon readers!  I'm Erin and I blog over at Love, the Campbells!  First off, I just want to send a BIG shout out to Bonnie and Greg and tell her how excited I am that they are having a baby!  I'm sure you're all with me here!  My husband and I are due with our first little one in two and a half weeks and I thought I would put something together on things I learned throughout my pregnancy that no one told me.

1.  You will miss wine.  A lot.  You might not even drink wine very much but you will crave it like none other now that you can’t have it.

2.       If you cross your arms a lot, people don’t feel the need to touch your belly.  When I first found out I was pregnant, one of my biggest fears was that strangers would randomly touch me.  I can proudly say it hasn’t happened once.  This could have something to do with me wearing a thousand layers of clothes because it’s a -40 wind chill where I live lately but hey, I like to think it’s because I unconsciously cross my arms.
3.       By the time you’re 36 weeks pregnant, you’re going to have the same three tops and the same two bottoms on repeat.  And you’ll be praying your stomach doesn’t get any bigger because those three tops are already stretched to the max.  Lucky for you Bonnie, you’ll have nice weather when you’re this far along.  Take advantage of those dresses because I wish I could even look at a dress right now without getting goose bumps.
4.       Take one of those preparing for labor and birth classes.  They go into more detail than you ever thought possible and you’re going to want to know this stuff before you give birth.  But if you’re like me, it will scare the crap out of you and you will tell your hairstylist that you don’t think you are ready for a baby now or ever.  Then you’ll realize it’s too late and you’ll plan on winging it.  I don’t think one is supposed to fly by the seat of their pants with something like giving birth though.
5.       When you actually pop and really start to show, your husband may utter under his breath “you’re effing huge”.  Take it from me, he doesn’t realize he says it out loud and he will probably apologize profusely.  It’s something I just blew off because his after expression was priceless but I always make sure to remind him of it.  It’s just too good not to.

Book club November: A Thousand Splendid Suns

BON'S BOOK CLUB

NOVEMBER: A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS

Welcome to book club, chicas!

2013 Book Club Schedule
February:  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
March:  The Fault in our Stars by John Green
April:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
May:  Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
June:  Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
July:  The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
September: Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
October:  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
November: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
December:  We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver'

For those of you recently joining us, in January readers chose 11 books to read throughout the year.  We read one a month and  the last week of every month (usually a Thursday) we discuss the book and pretend that we are eating yummy food and drinking warm apple cider while doing it.  You can join in on any month, and if you miss a month and then read a month and then miss the next month that's fine too! Sometimes we won't all finish the book (I admit I never finished Life of Pi) but the point is that we all get together to talk book and rejoice that we have beautiful minds that let us read this stuff.

In a few weeks we will decide what books we will read for 2014.  You all will give suggestions and then we'll all vote and get 12 awesome books in line for the year.  I have really loved doing this book club and have found that it has helped me to read books I wouldn't normally read as well as given me an opportunity to re read some of my absolute favorites.

A Thousand Splendid Suns definitely falls under the "absolute favorites" books.  I first read this the summer I came home from my mission and I remember staying up late reading it on those hot summer nights and crying all the way through it.  Some of the images are so powerful and graphic that they have remained in my head since first reading it (Miriam being forced to eat rocks, Laila having a C-section without any anesthesia.)

A brief overview: For those who haven't read or don't know what the book is about, it details the lives of two women in Afghanistan from the early 70s to the year 2000.  The book deals mostly with the mistreatment and injustice for the women in Afghanistan, but it also talks largely about the political turmoil and general unrest of the country during that time.  It sounds like it might be dry or boring, but Hosseini is an incredibly story teller and you are drawn in immediately, first to the story of Miriam who is the bastard child, harami, of a rich man and his servant.  Her mom hangs when Miriam is only 15 and then her dad agrees to let a man 40+ years old marry her.  Miriam never sees her dad again.

Later we are introduced to Laila who has her own difficulties, but has a bit more spunk and tenacity for life than Miriam does.  One of my favorite things about this book is Laila's relationship with the childhood friend on her street, Tariq.  They grow up together and when Laila is 14 they share their first kiss.  These scenes between them are written so innocently and tenderly- they are beautiful.

Their first kiss is one of the best kissing descriptions I've read, I think mostly because of the innocence and sweetness that it conveys.  I love the childlike innocence from the scene and the imagery of two teenagers kissing sweetly under a tree while their country is killing all around them was very sharp and beautiful to me.

"He slid closer to her and their hands brushed, once, then again.  When Tariq's finger tentatively began to slip into hers, Laila let them.  And when suddenly he learned over and pressed his lips to hers, she let him again.  At that moment, All of Mammy's talk of reputations sounded immaterial to Laila.  Absurd, even.  In the midst of all this killing and looting, all this ugliness, it was a harmless thing to sit here beneath a tree and kiss Tariq.  A small thing.  An easily forgivable indulgence.  So she let him kiss her, and when he pulled back she leaned in and kissed him, heart pounding in her throat, her face tingling, a fire burning in the pit of her belly."

The book is a fast read because it is so interesting and the story so completely engrossing that I found myself reading it every spare second once I had started it.  I read it in about three days this weekend.  I don't recommend reading it this fast, however, as there is so much killing and abuse that it can be hard to stomach it all.  I felt like I would have been better if I had given myself a week or two to read through it, but I really couldn't put it down.

There is a happy ending and that may be what makes the book so enduring.  Throughout its entirety the book is filled with abuse and injustice and great heartache.  I love though, that ultimately it ends up being a story of the power of love and forgiveness and great loyalty.

Afghanistan's history is really highlighted in the book and understanding all the politcs behind the unrest may have been the most difficult part for me.  There are lots of Afghan words interspersed throughout the book: shaheed, muahideen, namaz, Taliban, Pashtun.  This certainly doesn't keep you from understanding the book, but I think I would have enjoyed the book even more if I was more familiar with the history of their country.

Favorite quotes:
- “A society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated...” 

- “A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed. It won't stretch to make room for you.” 

- “Learn this now and learn it well. Like a compass facing north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam.” 

- “I'm sorry," Laila says, marveling at how every Afghan story is marked by death and loss and unimaginable grief. And yet, she sees, people find a way to survive, to go on.” 

- “With the passing of time, she would slowly tire of this exercise. She would find it increasingly exhausting to conjure up, to dust off, to resuscitate once again what was long dead. There would come a day, in fact, years later, when [she] would no longer bewail his loss. Or not as relentlessly; not nearly. There would come a day when the details of his face would begin to slip from memory's grip, when overhearing a mother on the street call after her child by [his] name would no longer cut her adrift. She would not miss him as she did now, when the ache of his absence was her unremitting companion--like the phantom pain of an amputee.” 

- “And that, ...is the story of our country, one invasion after another...Macedonians. Saddanians. Arabs. Mongols. Now the Soviets. But we're like those walls up there. Battered, and nothing pretty to look at, but still standing.” 

I don't want to give away too much that happens in the book so I will end my thoughts here.  As always, please add in your two cents or leave a link if you did your own book review.  Here's some questions to get your mind thinking if you need them.

Discussion questions:
+What is the significance of the title?  Does that play into the significance of the work as a whole?

+ The book is largely about the mistreatment of Afghani women.  Does it feel hypocritical to you or 
inaccurate that it is written by an Afghani man?

+  What point does the book make about women and education.

+   By the time Laila is rescued from the rubble of her home by Rasheed and Mariam, Mariam’s marriage has become a miserable existence of neglect and abuse. Yet when she realizes that Rasheed intends to marry Laila, she reacts with outrage. Given that Laila’s presence actually tempers Rasheed’s abuse, why is Mariam so hostile toward her.

+ Laila’s friendship with Mariam begins when she defends Mariam from a beating by Rasheed. Why does Laila take this action, despite the contempt Mariam has consistently shown her?

+ Growing up, Laila feels that her mother’s love is reserved for her two brothers. “People,” she decides, “shouldn’t be allowed to have new children if they’d already given away all their love to their old ones.” How does this sentiment inform Laila’s reaction to becoming pregnant with Rasheed’s child? What lessons from her childhood does Laila apply in raising her own children?

+ While the first three parts of the novel are written in the past tense, the final part is written in present tense. What do you think was the author’s intent in making this shift? How does it change the effect of this final section?


Oh, and get reading for December!  Our December book is We Need to Talk about Kevin and our book club discussion date will be Thursday, December 19.  We Need to Talk about Kevin is the story of "Eva- the mother or an unlabavle boy who murdered seven of his fellow high school students, a cafeteria worker, and a much adored teacher who tried to befriend him, all two days before his sixteenth birthday.  Now, two days later, it is time for her to come to terms with marriage, career, family, and Kevin's horrific rampage in a seises of startling direct correspondences with her estranged son." (Taken from the back of the book.)

October Book Club: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

BON'S BOOK CLUB
OCTOBER: EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE

2013 Book Club Schedule
February:  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
March:  The Fault in our Stars by John Green
April:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
May:  Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
June:  Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
July:  The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
September: Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
October:  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
November: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
December:  We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver'

For those of you recently joining us, in January readers chose 11 books to read throughout the year.  We read one a month and  the last week of every month (usually a Thursday) we discuss the book and pretend that we are eating yummy food and drinking warm apple cider while doing it.  You can join in on any month, and if you miss a month and then read a month and then miss the next month that's fine too! Sometimes we won't all finish the book (I admit I never finished Life of Pi) but the point is that we all get together to talk book and rejoice that we have beautiful minds that let us read this stuff.

If you want to do your own book review but don't know where to start, here's some questions to get the ball rolling.  You can answer any or all, this ain't no freaking English classroom!

-Oskar is an unusually intelligent and sensitive boy.  Do you find him realistic as a narrator.  Is he sympathetic or annoying to you? 

-What is the purpose of the illustrations, scriblings, over-written texts etc.?  Why does the author use them.

-How do both main plot and subplot (Oskar's grandfather and the bombing of Dresden) interweave with one another?

-How did you feel about the ending of the book?

This book can be a bit tough to get through for a couple of reasons.  One of the main reasons is the organization of the book.  There are not always standard paragraphs or dialogue (some paragraphs literally go on for pages and pages) and sometimes it's hard to figure out who is talking.  In addition to that, the book shifts from Oscar's point of view to the letters written in his grandfather's point of view.  The grandfather's story unravels as the story goes and this can be kind of frustrating.  I don't really like trying to figure things out in books, necessarily, so for me at least it got annoying trying to figure out what the grandfather's stary was and how it all tied in.  These are some reasons why the reading might be tough.

A reason it might be easy is that there are pictures.  PICTURES!  I know some people say that they have found the drawings and illustrations to be gimmicky or confusing.  I am kind of indifferent to the pictures.  I certainly didn't think it was necessary to the plot but since they were there I looked at them.  I don't have a real specific reason for why the author does this except for that probably he likes to be edgy and hip and random pictures in the middle of his book seemed like a good way to do that.

As far as the content of the book goes...  the basic story line is beautifully tragic.  I love the idea of a nine year old boy scouring a great big city like New York to find clues about his dead who is now dead.  Something about that made Oskar so endearing to me.  He loved his dad so much- practically worshipped the ground he walked on.  It was hard for me to dislike a character who I saw in so much pain.  Perhaps I like Oskar because he both lost our dad so I kind of wanted to put my arm around him and say "Yes.  I will go on your treasure hunt with you to find everyone in NYC with the last name of Black.  Anything to help you grieve, buddy."

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is strongest in its ideas.  I love how many unique thoughts and interesting ideas are in the book.  One of my favorite things is when Oskar talks about inventing an ambulance that instead of a siren has a light flashing that gives a message from the person inside like "Goodbye! I love you! Goodbye! I love you!"  And we'd all have little devices that let us know if the person in the ambulance was someone we were close to.  Don't know why, but it's one of those ideas that always stuck with me.

Another idea I loved, "I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York and would connect to the reservoir.  Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the Reservoir of Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York was in heavy boots.  And when something really terrible happened- like a nuclear bomb, or at least a biological weapons attack- an extremely loud siren would go off, telling everyone to get to Central Park to put sandbags around the reservoir."

The strength of this book, I believe, is in the writing and the incredibly clever and creative ideas behind the writing.  The plot in and of itself is not that moving to me.  In fact, not much happens.  It's basically the story of a boy grieving.  All of the real action of the story takes place before the book does so the plot doesn't feel that strong.  But the nuances of languages and fascinating ideas make up for it.

Favorite lines from the book:

"It probably gets pretty lonely to be Grandma, don't you think?" "It probably gets pretty lonely to be anyone."

"She wants to know if I love her, that's all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there."

"My life story is the story of everyone I've ever met."

"I wasn't having second thoughts, but I was having thoughts."

"It's a shame we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we get to live only one life."

"We spent our lives making livings."

"I put my hand on him.  Touching him was always so important to me.  It was something I lived for.  I never could explain why.  Little, nothing touches.  My fingers against his shoulder.  The outsides of our thighs touching as we squeezed together on the bus.  I couldn't explain it, but I needed it.  Sometimes I imagined stitching all of our little touches together.  How many hundreds of thousands of fingers brushing against each other does it take to love?"

"We were not rich but there was nothing we wanted."

"I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live, Oskar.  Because if I were able to live my life again, I would do things differently.  I would change my life.  I would kiss my piano teacher, even if he laughed at me.  I would jump with Mary on the bed, even if I made a fool of myself.  I would send out ugly photographs, thousands of them."

"It was late and we were tired.
We assumed there would be other nights.
I had never told her how much I loved her.
She was my sister.
We slept in the same bed.
There was never a right time to say it.
It was always unnecessary.
There would be other nights.
And how can you say I love you to someone you love?
Here is the point of everything I have been trying to tell you, Oskar.
It's always necessary."

Your turn!  What did you all think?  Have any of you seen the movie?  I heard the movie was awful and that the little boy who played Oskar is terribly annoying so I didn't watch it for fear of having the book ruined for me.  Good choice or no?

As always leave your thoughts in the comments or if you wrote your own blog post on it leave the link so we can check it out.

BOOK REVIEW: LIFE OF PI

BON'S BOOK CLUB:  THE LIFE OF PI

2013 Book Club Schedule
February:  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
March:  The Fault in our Stars by John Green
April:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
May:  Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
June:  Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
July:  The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
September: Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls September 26
October:  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
November: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
December:  We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver'

I apologize a million times for being late on this book club.  With the madness of moving and starting a new job and getting hit by a car it was all I could do to remember to eat this month, let alone read a book for book club.

But I guess in some ways that's all just an excuse because when I am really, truly engaged with a book I read no matter what.  I find the time because I am hooked on the book and nothing can stop it so when it comes down to it I didn't read Life of Pi on time because I didn't like it enough, and that's the truth.

That's not to say I didn't like Life of Pi, I just didn't like it enough.  The first 100 pages are slower than molasses.  That being said, I also found them interesting. question mark. Not interesting enough to keep me running back to the book, but interesting enough for me to not want to skip over them.  I especially loved Pi's struggle with religion and his desire to follow SO many religions.  I loved him because of how open minded he is.  The idea of a 12 year old boy being committed to several different religions because he sees good in them is just so endearing to me.

My favorite part about the book is the connection between Pi and Richard Parker.  I wonder if I would have read this book a year ago if I would have liked it as much as I do.  I like the book because I connect with the human-animal relationship and see it as something that can be very special, but I only feel this way after living with my mom's dog and consequently falling in love with my mom's dog.  Before that I wasn't much for animals, so I wonder if I would've thought the book was all just a bunch of hooplah?  I love the idea of Pi needing Richard Parker for survival- the complete dependence they have on each other is very sweet.

What did you all think of the ending?  I know a lot of people don't like it, as if it seems to discredit everything that happened to Pi.  I personally love it.  I love when authors give readers a bit of power over the story- as if they are allowing us to help them in writing it.  I love that we don't know for sure if the animals are literal or symbolic, but the point is it doesn't matter because the feelings felt from the story are real, and that's what's important.   In Tim O'Brien's book The Things They Carried he has a chapter where his daughter asked him if all of his war stories are true.  He explains the complexity of the situation because sometimes a story can be more "true" than the truth because it represents so accurately the way that people live, feel, and act.  Whether or not it "happened" becomes moot because it represents reality.  I love talking about this with my students when we read Things They Carried and usually we just go in circles because the idea is too complex for them to wrap their minds around, "So is it true or not?!?" is the question they always want to know after a 30 minute discussion of how it doesn't matter.  Ah, children.

Hopefully it has made some sense to you, and if not that's fine too, but the point is to me it doesn't matter if Pi's story of survival is "real" or not because the story is still real.  Whether or not there was a literal tiger on the boat with him the truth is he felt great love and tenderness for animals who in the end saved his life- whether is be literally or symbolically.

I would definitely recommend this book to others, but with the suggestion to read it during a slow time in life.  January or February seems the perfect month to digest a book like this, definitely not August when everything is so insane.  I loved the prose in the book;  I thought the writing was absolutely stunning.  It just requires time to read and appreciate.  The author rings very true in the way he describes things and maybe that's why I loved it.  I also thought the movie did an excellent job of accurately portraying the book.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite excerpts:

People move because of the wear and tear of anxiety   Because of the gnawing feeling that no matter how hard they work their efforts will yield nothing, that what they build up in one year will be torn down in one day by others.  Because of the impression that the future is blocked up, that they might do all right but not their children.  Because of the feeling that nothing will change, that happiness and prosperity are possible only somewhere else.

Alright, now tell me all what you think of the book!  If you wrote a post leave the link in the comments and I'll make sure to hop on over and read the review.

AND... get reading for September!  September's book is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls and we will be discussing it on September 26.  It doesn't matter if you've read all of the year's books for book club or none of the books, join in for September!

April Book Club Discussion: Great Gatsby

APRIL BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION:  THE GREAT GATSBY

Ah, The Great Gatsby!  Possibly my favorite book of all time and you chicas voted to read it for our book club this year.  That's why I love you.  You're smart cookies.

The other day my mom asked me why I liked this book so much, and it surprised me that I couldn't really answer her.  "It's just good..." I stumbled.
"What's it about?"
"It's basically about all these really despicable people ruining their own lives and each other's lives."
I could tell I wasn't exactly selling her on it. 
"It's like the Kardashians of the 1920s."  I tried to elaborate.  I was selling it to her even less.
"Yes, but what lesson does it teach?"

And I guess that's the problem with Great Gatsby.  There is no lesson.  No moral.  No "now I want to be a better person" from the book.  Instead, the whole time you read the book you feel sort of sorry for all these pathetic characters and their pathetic lives.  It's a book full of booze, cheating, and partying.  And yet, I love it.

It's not just me, either.  America decided that this is one of our classics.  This is in our American literary canon as one of the greatest American books.  So then it has to be about more than just drinking and cheating, right?

CARELESS DRIVERS
I love Gatsby because of the way it is set up.  Early in the book Nick and Jordan have a conversation where Nick tells Jordan she's a bad driver.  Jordan says she agrees, but the thing is that everyone else will watch out for her on the road and so she'll never get in a wreck.

"And suppose you meet someone as careless as yourself?" Nick asks.
"Oh I hope I never do!  I hate careless people!" Jordan answers.

I think this is the perfect metaphor for the entire book.  The whole lot of them- Jordan, Nick, Gatsby, Daisy, Tom, Myrtle- they're just the worst drivers- metaphorically speaking.  They're just living their lives, cruising around, not caring who they hit or cut off or how recklessly they drive.  I feel like the first six chapters are us just watching all of these careless drivers and holding our breath because we know that they are all going to crash at some point.  I love telling my students, "You've got six of the worst drivers on the road together.  You know at any second they are all going to come crashing into each other!  Just hold your breath and wait!"

FAVORITE PARTS
The scene where Gatsby gets Nick to arrange a meet up for Gatsby and Daisy:  I especially love how Gatsby runs out the back door and around to the front door because he's so nervous to meet Daisy.  My students always laugh out loud at that part and there is something magical about students laughing out loud at a book.

The scene where Daisy throws all of Gatsby's shirts and cries, "They're such beautiful shirts!"  I know it's just a little, short scene, but I feel like it symbolizes everything Daisy wanted with Gatsby and lost.  The shirts!  The shirts!  There are beautiful shirts!  As if somehow because Gatsby has such a beautiful wardrobe everything can be returned to what it once was.  This shows Daisy's unsatisfiable lust for money, but also her desire to be with Gatsby.

The flashback to the day before Daisy marries Tom:  She's crying in the bathtub, grasping onto a letter from Gatsby, the letter getting totally soaking wet.  She throws away the $300,000 pearls and yells, "Tell them Daisy's changed her mind!  Daisy's changed her mind!"  This is the one time where I think you can see the complexity of Daisy's situation.  She loves both men, perhaps Gatsby more, but feels such intense societal pressures.  It's not always just about "love"- there are so many other things that play into the equation.  I have to admit, though, I do hate her for going through with it all.

The scene in the hotel where Tom finally comes out with it and asks "What kind of a row are you trying to cause?" to Gatsby.  I love Tom's character because he's so bold and outright- just straight up asks Gatsby what is going on.  And Gatsby's reaction is so classic, "She never loved you!" .  The entire battle that ensues over who Daisy loves more is priceless.

The scene where Myrtle is hit by the car, Gatsby killed by Wilson and Wilson killed by himself.  Who could ask for a more dramatic ending?!?  I try to hype my students up for the ending as much as possible, "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE HOW THIS THING ENDS!"

NICK AS NARRATOR
One thing that makes The Great Gatsby so unique is that it has such an unusual narrator.  The book isn't third person- it's first person because Nick is telling it.  Yet it almost feels like third person because Nick isn't directly involved in anything that happens.  It almost feels like some stalker who follows these guys around and writes down everything that happens to them.

I always ask my students how they feel about Nick- if he should be more involved.  He says one of his "stengths" is that he doesn't pass judgment.  But should he pass judgment?  Should he try to stop the madness, try to help the people, or is it okay that he just watches all the tragedies unfold?

I HATE THEM ALL
What absolutely amazes me about this book is that I hate every single character in it, and yet absolutely adore the book.  As far as book recipes go, having every character be despicable is a sure fire way to have a failure of a book.  Yet somehow I love them for my hatred for them?   Makes no sense.  The only one I kind of like is Gatsby because he's just so dang desperate for Daisy that you have to feel sorry for him.

Everytime I read the book I try to figure out who I hate the most.  Nick for never intervening?  Jordan for being a dumb blonde idiot?  Tom for cheating on Daisy in the first place?  Daisy for letting both Tom and Gatsby fall in love with her?  Gatsby for never leaving his past?

I think my answer is Daisy.  But I'll change my mind soon, I'm sure.  I hate Daisy because she is responsible for Gatsby's death- because she leads him on (twice!) when it's pretty clear she never has much intention of marrying him.  I hate her because she is the one who hits and kills Myrtle but she doesn't fess up to it, causing Gatsby's death.  She's so selfish and spoiled and refuses to take responsibility for her actions, resulting in the death of one of my favorite characters ever.  Oh Gatsby, Old Sport, you didn't deserve it.

THE FALLEN HERO
The great tragedy of the book is what happens to the "Great Gatsby".  Throughout the entirety of the book there is a suspcious air about him and you never really know if you should trust him or fear him.  My heart breaks when I realize how much he must have loved Daisy, how much he held on to that dream, even after she had been married five years.  The fact that he moves in to the mansion across the lake and watches her constantly is just awesome.  The line from the book that I think captures Gatsby's character perfectly is, "You can't repeat the past?  Why, of course you can!"  Gatsby lives his entire life trying to recapture what he once had with Daisy and it results in his demise.  Gatsby IS The American Dream.  The constant chasing for something bigger, better than you currently have.  The end of the book states, "Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year receds before us.  It eluded us then, but that's no matter- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther... And one fine morning--"

AFTER THE TRAGEDIES
One of the saddest parts of the book for me is how Daisy and Tom just go on with their lives after all the tragedies. As if none of it ever happened. These careless people living their careless lives. They leave all the mess behind and just kind of move on. In the last pages of the book Nick runs into Tom months later and sees him living his life totally as it was before. Nick comments, "It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made..."

WHY IS IT AN AMERICAN CLASSIC?
This, I believe is for two reasons.  One is the way it is written.  I don't care who you are, you can't read this book and not agree that it is absolutely beautifully written.  Fitzgerald is a master of the written world.  It didn't come naturally to him, either, the man drafted and redrafted and edited and re edited everything he wrote.  By the time we see what Fitzgerald wrote it was likely rewritten as many as six times.  I admire that about the man- his commitment to finding the perfect word, the perfect sentence.  I read so much that has been written in the past twenty years and I just think, "Lazy!  This author was so lazy!  It was just all about making a buck!"  (The third Hunger Games.  The book was all about money, not about the story whatsoever) Fitzgerald's writing is totally cleaned up and every part of the story comes together. seemingly effortlessly to leave you feeling completely satisfied.

The second reason I believe this is a classic is because of what it represents.  It represents Americans.  The American Dream.  We are a people who are never satisfied, who always want more, who can't forget the past, no matter what the cost.  This book is such an accurate description of what lies in the hearts of American culture- the desire to be rich, beautiful, and happy.  All characters are seeking these things throughout the book, but sadly, come up short.

Whew!  I talked your ear off on that one!  My apologies.  That's what happens when book club chooses my favorite book ever!

If you are having trouble knowing what to write about in your discussion of Gatsby, here are some questions to get you started:

• Who do you hate the most in the book?  Why?
• Why is Gatsby so focused on Daisy?  What is it about her that makes him love her so much?
• Is Daisy's affair excusable because Tom is having an affair?  Why do people cheat and is it ever justified?
• Why is this book an American classic?
• Why do you think Fitzgerald chose Nick as the narrator instead of someone more directly involved in the action
• Did you like the book?  Why or why not?

Don't forget to get involved in May's book club.  Discussion is always the last Thursday of the month, putting us at May 30.  May's book club selection is Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick.  (A full list of book selections for 2013 can be found here.)

Get reading, darlings.

P.S.  If you do a post on the book, leave the url for the post in the comments so we can all check out the other reviews.  Or just comment it up in the comment section!  Whatever floats your boat, people.  Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

P.P.S. Oh- and please copy and paste this button to your post if you write your own entry on Gatsby!

Let the voting begin! Book Club Style!

Alright girls, we are so close here to getting the coolest book club EVER started!  I have taken all of your suggestions in this post and out of them, comprised a survey.  The rules of the survey are this:  You can vote for five.  Choose the five books that you would absolutely love to read and discuss with an intelligent group of girls.  Some books don't require that much discussion whereas some books you just absolutely have to talk about with someone.  Consider that as you are choosing.  If you are wondering what the books are about the comments in this post gave tons of information, and of course there is always goodreads to help you find your way among the books.  Each participant gets five votes and the poll closes on Thursday.  At the end of the week I will post the results and our reading list for 2013.  We'll select a book for each month, starting in February so I will post the whole reading schedule for the year.  That way you will know ahead of time what we are reading, what books you need to request from your library, and what books you might want to sit out on.

Wow!  I feel just like Oprah.  Except way less powerful.  Now get voting!  I already know what five I am voting for!

Quizzes by Quibblo.com