The Evolution of a Blog (See also: An explanation of my sponsored posts)

My baby's getting faaaaaaat.

Yippee!

Yesterday I got an interesting comment on my post about a baby product I was showing off.  It was a sponsored post, meaning that I was compensated to do the post.  The commenter stated that she liked reading my blog and would continue to read it, but that she missed the days when there wasn't a sponsored post every 3-4 days.

Part of me felt really sad when I read this.  I felt like I was letting my readers down.  This isn't the first time I've felt this way.  I often have to fight the temptation to feel like a sell out or a fraud when I write sponsored posts.  There are a lot of bloggers who don't accept sponsorships or ads in any form.  They have total freedom to write what they want when they want on their blog and their readers don't tell them that they are disappointed.  Sometimes I am jealous of these bloggers.

My blog stopped being that kind of blog two years ago.  I look back on my first year of posts and they are so carefree.  I can almost smell the newness and excitement of the blog.  Everything was straight from my heart.  I had 24 years worth of thoughts and ideas and ramblings to share- the blog was practically exploding with all my weird, random thoughts.

But my blog changed.  When I read my posts now, they are so different from those first ones.  A lot of the times my posts aren't necessarily as funny or fun as they used to be, and I am okay with that. When I first started this blog I wanted to entertain people and I wanted to people think I was funny.  Now I want to connect with people and I want people to think I'm kind.

There are some things that have changed about my blog because of lessons I learned the hard way.  Online critics have made me less willing to share things that are personal to me.  Hurting the feelings of loved ones through thoughtless remarks on my blog have made me much more careful about what I say about them. I have to remind myself that this is my blog for my stories and I don't have the right to share other people's stories.

When I started accepting sponsorships, the blog experienced perhaps the biggest shift. Some posts were now scheduled.  There were days I had to get a post up no matter what.  Sometimes I had to really stretch to relate a product to my blog.  As I accepted more sponsorships and worked with more companies, my blog continued to change to accommodate.  I had to learn to say no to a lot of products and posts that I knew my readers wouldn't like, but only after saying yes first and realizing my readers could smell the insincerity.

Now I hope to have found a sponsored post balance, but comments like the one yesterday always leave me doubting.  Part of me feels like I don't have to defend my choice to allow for sponsored posts to readers, but the other part of me wants to explain to you why I continue to do this.  The truth is I owe you as my readers a great deal, and heck, if you want to know why I can't quit with the sponsored posts, I suppose you deserve to know.  (Because no, I can't quit with the sponsored posts.)

Each blog post I write serves at least one of three purposes:
1) To connect with other people, build relationships, and tell stories.
2) To help provide an income for my family
3) To grow the blog and my social media presence.

The most important purpose of the blog is the first one- I started the blog to build connections and to tell stories.  This is my favorite thing about blogging and it is what keeps me coming back day after day.  HOWEVER.  Without the second purpose, I could not justify the amount of time I put into my blog.  Especially now that I have a baby and am so busy with many different demands on my time- I just couldn't sustain a blogging "hobby" without monetary compensation.  If I am getting paid, though, this "hobby" then merges into the "job" lane, and it is easier to justify the time I put in.  I am providing for my family by doing something that I really love. (The third goal explains why I run giveaways, contests, link ups, etc.  I will always be trying to grow this blog as bigger growth allows for more connections with others and, admittedly, bigger earning potential.)

  My goal now is to keep it to one sponsored post a week.  That means there is only one giveaway, guest post, or me telling you why you should buy awesome chocolate post per week.  Ideally it means four genuine real life Bonnie posts and one "commercial" so to speak.  Of course, it doesn't always exactly pan out this way.  Sometimes all the opportunities come at once (when it rains it pours) and I will find myself with a very sponsor heavy week only to have absolutely no sponsorship obligations for the next three weeks. (This week I have three sponsored posts and two giveaways.  All of July and August I had no sponsored posts).  In the sponsor heavy times I hope that my readers give me the benefit of the doubt and realize that while there are many sponsored posts that week, they will be rewarded with lots of thoughtful, quality writing in the near future.

I am constantly seeking to find the perfect sponsored post/ non sponsored post blog balance.  Most bloggers I know who are financially compensated struggle in the same way.  The truth is, I owe you, as my readers a great deal.  It is because of my audience that I was able to go part time this year and stay at home with June the other days.  Without you as readers I would be most likely working full time and spending less time with my baby.  I would also be spending much less time blogging, as there would be no time to do it in and no financial compensation to justify the time.  It would certainly fall much lower on a list of priorities. My sponsored posts allow me the luxury of writing many more genuine and real life posts than I would otherwise be able to.

All this basically to say thank you.  It is because of my blog, my readers, and those silly little sponsored posts that I am able to simultaneously pursue three passions of mine- writing, teaching and being a mom.    So thank you thank you thank you for reading the sponsored posts.  It means everything to me.

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And with that, I introduce a giveaway to you.  Because I absolutely love wearing red lipstick.  And again, thank you.

I have teamed up with some lovely local blogging ladies and we are each giving away our favorite lipstick in a giveaway. ONE winner takes ALL the lipstick! Read below to get to know the bloggers and why they love their lipsticks, and enter in the Rafflecopter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

To People Who Complain about Sponsors: A Rant

There's been something that has been weighing on my mind the past few weeks and I have debated and debated whether or not I should write on it, and when the right time would be to post this, and if I should give it more time to marinate, yada, yada, yada...

And then today I just decided it was time.

I really appreciate my audience, and I cherish the relationships I have with readers.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think about total strangers who come visit this space regularly and show love and support for what I say.  So I want to say thank you for visiting my blog and supporting my sponsors and allowing me to give my two cents to the world on a daily basis.  THANK YOU!  I appreciate you so much!

Every once in a while I receive a comment or an email that goes something like this, "Hey Bonnie!  I love your blog!  It's fun!  Only I don't like it anymore!  I used to like it before a lot more!  Now you do sponsorships and giveaways, and I don't like that stuff!  Stop doing it!  I'll like it more!  Thanks!"

I have seen this not only with me, but with other favorite bloggers of mine.  I notice comments in posts that say something similar-  "I don't like your blog as much now that you're caught up in the blogging world.  I want you to just write like you used to- please stop doing sponsorships or giveaways."

A comment like this always sends me into a brief panic mode.  "Oh my gosh!" I think, "I've lost my touch. They hate me.  I'm a terrible blogger now!"  I feel like immediately writing back and saying, "I'm so sorry!  I'll stop the sponsorships!  I'll go back to how it once was!  Forgive me pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

Then, I let the comment sit for a few hours or days and I inevitably start thinking this:

"That's not fair."

I understand that some people might not love sponsors or guest posts or giveaways.  That's fine.  I don't love commercials, and I hate it when my favorite morning talk show cuts to ads.  That being said, I accept it because I am grateful to the people who entertain me, and I realize that they must be compensated in some way.  They deserve to be paid for their time, their energy, and their talents.  I would never call the producers of New girl (my current favorite tv show) and say, "Hey!  I love your show! Can't wait for season 3!  But I hate the commercials.  I'd watch it a lot more if you didn't have them so can you cut that out already?"  I don't have to pay to watch New Girl, so to compensate, I must watch the commercials because the commercials pay for all the production costs and make it possible for me to watch for free.  I don't complain about that.

Or... how about I request that I can go see my favorite sports team without having to pay for the ticket?  Or I complain to the local movie theater that I would enjoy the movie a lot more if I didn't have to pay admission or watch previews?  Of course we don't want ads, and of course we want things for free, but it's not fair to the creator of the product.

When I read an email like this what I hear is that a reader would like me to produce high quality writing, entertain her with wit and charm, and develop completely original and funny content five to six times a week for no pay.  She would like me to spend in the neighborhood of 20 hours a week (on top of a full time job) writing to entertain her and not receive a penny for it.  When I do start accepting sponsors or receiving some money for my time she will inevitably tell me that I have been "carried away with making money" or that I have turned my blog into a "cash cow."  What I read is "Can you please go back to writing your butt off every night and making no money like you used to so that I don't have to read your guest posts once a week? Mmmkay thanks!"

I repeat.  That's not fair.

I do love blogging, and I get great fulfillment from it sans monetary compensation.  Just like athletes love playing, just like actors love acting and just like any entertainer loves entertaining.  That being said, it is still work.  There are times I would much rather take a bath or go to a movie or go to bed early than I would slave away for two hours on a blog post. A reader who expects me to do this every night for them for no reward of my own is quite frankly, a very selfish reader.  You do not have to pay to read my blog, so if I ask you once a week to read a guest post or click on an affiliate link to help me justify the time I put in on this blog and support this passion of mine, it is not me selling out or me being obsessed with money, it's just me trying to justify to a very small extent the exorbitant amount of time and energy this blog consumes.

All this being said, I, of course, understand there is a certain balance that a blog has to maintain, and perhaps readers are complaining to me because they feel like they have lost my blogging balance. No reader should have to be subjected to guest posts and giveaways day after day after day and I understand that. The balance is something very tricky that I am striving toward.  BUT if once a week there is a sponsored post, I hardly think we as readers can demand that the blogger stop accepting the sponsors to satisfy our own selfish desires.

If I were not getting paid for this blog or did not see the potential to make money from my blog, there is no way I would be able to justify the time I spend on it.  I couldn't justify it to myself, my husband, my students, my family or any of the people who need me in some capacity.  I could never justify missing a date with my husband or staying home from a family dinner or handing my students' papers back a day later to work on a post- all things that I have had to do to be consistent in my blogging and deliver quality posts.  I am able to post as often as I do and spend as much time on this blog because I receive pay.

There is a weird culture in the blogging world where we expect to read blogs for 100% free.  This needs to stop.  We don't want to pay, we don't want to look at guest posts, we don't want to tolerate any promotion for the blog.  It's not being sensitive to the blogger. I ask that as a blogging community, we change this attitude and be more supportive of bloggers and their sponsorships, realizing that every day we read their blog for free.  When our favorite bloggers put up a guest post, we click on it if it is interesting to us.  By doing so we are supporting our favorite bloggers.  We should click on interesting sidebar ads, too.  That's supporting the blogger.  If the blogger is doing some random sponsorship with Sears and we really love that blogger, we should click on the Sears link and check it out.  As a blogging community we should understand that this is our way of "paying" the blogger for her time and effort she puts into the blog.

I hope that this explains the reasoning behind the sponsorships and giveaways on this blog.  I hope those of you who get frustrated can see it in a bit of a different light when I have a guest post or giveaway.  I hope as a blogging community we can support bloggers in their sponsorships (within reason, of course!) and "pay" for the free blogs we get to read on a daily basis.  From the bottom of my sassy little heart I thank you for reading this blog and for your many comments.  I love this blog and the people who visit.  It is a great source of fulfillment and satisfaction to me, and I thank you thank you thank you thank you for reading.

Blogging about blogging: It's insane!

This morning a fellow teacher burst in my room at 7:10 while I was trying to discreetly finish up my makeup.  (I have this totally bad habit where I carry my makeup case around with me so I don't have to put on my makeup until I get to work.  That way I don't have to spend as much time "getting ready" at home and therefore don't have to wake up as early.  You know I'm a genius.)

"Hey Bonnie.  You're a blogger, right?"  He demanded.
"Um..."  I replied, "I have a blog..."  I try to avoid the word blogger at all costs.  It's too much for me.
"So do you like it?"
"Yah.  I mean, I guess it's alright."  I really had no clue where this was going.  And I was embarrassed that he knew I had a blog.  (Which brings up the point- why are we comfortable sharing every detail in our lives with perfect strangers but then get uncomfortable when we find out people we know read our blogs?)
"Do you ever worry about your students reading it?  Or getting in trouble for stuff you put on it?"
"Probably not as much as I should.  What are they going to do, fire me?"  (Quitting your job is so insanely liberating!)
"Why do you ask?" I prodded.
"I'm thinking about starting my own blog.  I've got some things to say." (Don't we all?  don't we all??!)
"Well, you're a dude so you'd have an automatic edge."
"Do you recommend it?  What is your advice?"

Ah.  Do I recommend it?

The truth is I don't.  I really don't.
And then in the same breath I do.  I really do.

I love blogging so much, but gosh, somewhere along the line it has become work.  Not work that I don't like, mind you, but still... work.  I have goals and aspirations with this blog, places I need it to take me, and that does require the dreaded "W" word.  It is dreadfully time consuming.  If I am being honest with myself, I spent at least 20+ hours a week on the blog.  Add that on top of teaching 50 hours and a week and a feeble attempt at grocery shopping and an ever feebler attempt at cooking and you've got my life in a nutshell.  Now, I know some people out there would say, "Cut back!  Don't spend so much time with the blog if it's work.  Once it becomes work you've lost the beauty and realness of it."  Or something like that.   (Side note.  It drives me crazy when people act like it's a bad thing if you're blog is work.  All good things are work.  Dealing with 16 year olds is work.  My marriage is work.  Planning a vacation is work.  What is wrong with me thinking my blog is work?)

The fact is that my blog is a side business for me, albeit at this point a very small side business.  But because I am making money off of it, it is "work."  That means I have to post consistently, I have to put up giveaways when I say I'm going to, and I have to return an email.  The blog, therefore, does in fact become work.

Last week, as some of you may be aware, Kristen posted her thoughts on some of the various trends in blogging.  Among these that she does not like or does not do herself are: sponsorships, group giveaways, and turning your blog into a business.  First off I have to give Kristen kudos (do people still say kudos?!?) because she has loads of traffic and thousands of loyal followers.  She engages with her audience and I love that.  She is real and down to earth.

But what I want to know is how?!?  How did she gain all those followers and friends and traffic if she didn't sponsor or advertise her blog?  Kristen tells readers to "concentrate on your content instead of your numbers and you will gain REAL readers which is what should matter."  I agree totally with that.  I am all about quality writing and story telling.  The blogs I visit every single day without fail are written by great story tellers.  But I only found those blogs through sponsorships, advertising, and giveaways.  I blogged for six straight months and stayed at 50 views a day because no one even knew the blog existed.  People don't just find a blog.  Readers don't just appear.  And even if they did, who's got the patience to sit there and wait around for them to stumble upon your blog?  Not me!

I have never regretted accepting sponsors on my blog.  It is much more work, obviously, but I enjoy it and I get to know other bloggers and blogs on a much closer level because of it.  In my mind I have to accept sponsors so 1) I can justify the disgusting amount of time I spend blogging and 2) I can sponsor other blogs and allow my blog to continue to grow.

What I do struggle greatly with is the balance.  How many guest posts are too many guest posts?  When do readers start rolling their eyes at another giveaway?  When does the blog become smarmy and fake and all about turning a buck?  Where is the freaking line?!?

I read somewhere that you should consider every "original" post as a deposit to your blog and every guest post as a withdrawal.  You never want to go in the red- always have more originals than guests.  I agree with that, but wonder if the ratio needs to be more than just "more than half".  What do you think?  Two original posts to one guest post/giveaway?  3 to 1?  4 to 1?!?!?  Who has the answers anymore?!?

Another thing that Kristen touched on briefly, but that mostly commenters brought up was the whole "blogging about blogging" thing.  Blogging tips, blogging strategies, etc. Plenty of readers stated that they hate  all this.  That they don't want to read blogs about blogs.  Quite frankly that surprised me as those people were obviously currently reading and commenting on a post about blogging.  It surprised me too because I LOVE posts about blogging.  The blogging culture is so weird and unique and if I don't talk about it with other bloggers, I don't talk about it at all.

Ah, when did it all get so confusing?  What are y'all thoughts on this?  Do you hate guest posts?  Do you read them?  Do you get over-giveawayed?  When is enough enough?

And you want to know what the weirdest thing is?  This post started with a teacher bursting in on me while doing my makeup.  My, how far we have come.