The Life of Bon: The day I quit my job

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The day I quit my job



Yesterday I marched down that great white tile hall, tromped into the principal's office, threw my resignation on his desk and declared, "I'm out!  I'm on to bigger and better things!  See you later! Sir!"

Or something like that.

The truth is I did it because they bribed me with 200 big ones if I quit by the end of the month.  The school does an "early resignation", meaning they want to know early on what teachers are staying or going.  So if you tell them in February that you will not be returning in the fall and they can plan early, BAM, $200 buckaroos.

I guess I have known ever since I married Hubs that my job at the Hills of the Copper (I feel like I shouldn't say my school's "real" name.  Now none of you know!) would be temporary.  The dude's an actor.  There's not many gigs for that in West Jordan, Utah.

Still.  It didn't lessen the pain.

On our first date Greg told me he was a theatre major.  I thought that was weird.  But I also thought he was cute.

That night after our first date, I laid in bed and thought about this Greg guy and his career choice.  I had to decide then and there if I could marry someone who was pursuing full time acting as a career.  In my mind it made no sense to go on date #2 or date #3 or date #506 if I wasn't okay with the way he decided to make a living.  If I couldn't handle the job insecurity, the adventures, the wild life, then why continue on one step further in the dating process?  I don't do charades.

So I thought and thought and turns out I felt great about all of it.  A kind of excited and "wow, this isn't what I was expecting for a future husband but I can totally handle it!" feeling.  A lot of people would never leave a job, a state, a home that is comfortable for something so unpredictable.  But it turns out comfort actually makes me kind of uncomfortable. (Say whaaa?!?)  I am the opposite of a home body, and I yearn for adventure.  I'm a bit of a risk taker and a bit of an idiot.  What more could I want in a husband than a man who wants to drag me to Hollywood in pursuit of the acting dream while I pursue my writing and teaching and saving the youth of America dream?  Admit it- it's all very romantic in a "you two are very stupid" kind of way.

But first Greg had to finish school.  Earn his undergraduate degree, get some experience under his belt, and live in his mother in laws basement!  All vital experiences!  Greg graduates this spring, and so we have known and planned for the past two years for me to quit at the high school, pack on up, and hit the road for Hollywood this year.  Very glorious and very dramatic.

From day one I have felt good about this plan.  I have supported it, saved for it, counted down the days for it.

That's why it shocked me how scared I was to "announce" my resignation yesterday.  I signed my name on the form, texted Greg (This is it!  I'm really quitting!) and then did laps around my classroom for twenty minutes trying to calm my nerves.  Finally I walked down to the office and looked for my boss.  He was nowhere around.

"Matt, have you seen Todd?" I asked the Vice Principal
"I have!  He has brown hair, short of stature..."  Don't you hate smart aleck V.P.s?

I decided to just leave the paper my boss' desk.  The bell was about to ring, I had a seventh period to teach, and I couldn't mope around all day waiting for him while my brain thought about what a great job this is, did I really want to leave something so secure, and I don't even have another job lined up, you idiot!

And then, as this was all racing through my head, Todd walked in.  I didn't say a word, just handed him the paper.  He read.  I waited for a reaction.

He looked up at me and we made eye contact.  The kind of eye contact where you have an entire conversation in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry."  I said.

He replied with all the nice things bosses are supposed to say- that he was sad to see me go but he understood, that he would write me glowing letters of recommendations, that the school would dearly miss me.  And I couldn't help it.  I looked right into those brown eyeballs of his and let the tears well up in mine.  How is it that a job can mean so much to a person?  Walls and desks and horny teenagers who never remember their pencils?  How is it that somehow the high school and the students have gone ahead and wedged themselves a giant place in my heart?

It doesn't seem too fair.

News spread fast around the school and several teachers came in to talk to me.  They all were beyond nice and said "Congratulations" which seemed ill fitting.  "Hey!  You quit the job that you totally love; you have no other job lined up and no leads! Congratulations!"

But I said thanks and tried to not seem sad because you can't be sad when you've had three great years at a job and felt totally accepted and loved and appreciated.  You can't be sad when you have a lunch group that talks about dating and sex and makes you laugh so hard you forget you're at work.  You can't be sad when you have 240 teenagers who pour their heart and souls out to you in their papers and do their homework (sometimes!) and crack inappropriate jokes and tell you that they love your class.  And you can't be sad when they all demand answers and get upset at you for leaving because they are going to miss you so so much.

No.  You can't be sad for that, can you?


(P.S.  This massive giveaway is open through the end of the week.  Don't forget to enter!)
(P.P.S  We still have spots open for this Provo based blog consultating/ strategizing night on March 7.  So excited for those of you who have already committed!)
(P.P.P.S.  I finished Gone Girl this weekend for our Blogger Book Club.  So much to talk about with that book!  Our discussion on that will be next Wednesday- February 27. Make sure to finish the book and link up with us!  March's book is The Fault in our Stars so go ahead and get started if you already finished Gone Girl!)


52 comments:

  1. On to bigger and better things! What great memories of this place you have! :)

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  2. New adventures can be terrifying, but you have your best friend by your side. We moved 6 hours away from our families when we got married. It was exciting, scary, and for a few weeks I got lost going to the grocery store. I had my amazing husband by myself, and that made it all okay. :)

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  3. I was going to be a smart A, and say that I know where you work, but then I realized its written right there on your form. . . duh.

    I've been there, and I sort of know how you feel. I spent my last year of teaching crying almost weekly because I missed my daughter, so quitting wasn't nearly as difficult.

    My brother is a struggling actor/English major living in LA. Its like he's both of you combined! And there are no words for how jealous I am that you get to move to CA. I'm so homesick lately, I think its the winter.

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  4. Good luck! It would take a lot of guts to hand in a resignation letter. Lots to look forward to in the next year, though!

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  5. Bonnie, I will let you know now...kids in California are in big need of you. (My siblings lived the past 4 years in CA and their schools are in need of teachers like you)

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  6. Seriously, you really quit your job just like that? Well, you don't have kids yet, so why not? You are young enough and have an open field ahead of you, so why not? You have a loving, supportive husband to guide you and support you, so why not? Don't forget to pack your blog when you leave--we don't want to miss the details!!!

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  7. Can't wait to hear all about your new adventures in CA this summer!

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  8. Look at you go! I'm jealous. I'm not adventurous so this would never happen to me. lol. I can't wait to see your adventures though!

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  9. I just quit my own teaching job 2 weeks ago! My last day will be April 26, but I handed in my paperwork because they like to start advertising for the next year in March.
    We're moving too, so a good reason is a good reason, right?

    Congrats on the major life change!

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  10. Should be a really great adventure....good luck!!

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  11. Congratulations! Life is one big adventure. I did get a bit teary eyed at the end though.
    As an LA resident I beg you not to live IN Hollywood. Check out areas nearby... Santa Monica, West LA, any of the beach communities!

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  12. This is fantastic news, Bonnie! My heart swelled reading this one. Good for you, and good for Greg for going after what he wants. It's going to be so exciting for you both! Job quitting is bitter-sweet, eh?

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  13. so fun and scary and crazy and heart breaking all at the same time... that's usually what happens before something really great appears around the corner :) my only change would be to make Hollywood in Phoenix so that we could save the youth of America together ;) GOOD LUCKKKKK!

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  14. Hey, life is all about taking risks and gleaning the joy! I'm excited for you. :)

    As for Hollywood....two things:
    A) Be prepared for either private school kids, or inner-city kids. LA County is in desperate need of good teachers, but their schools are very impacted.
    B) Be prepared for high cost of living, including rent. There are some nice areas that are affordable (further from the beach, usually), but the traffic is near-constant and the public transportation is laughable.

    In all honesty, I hate LA (but it has good screen and some stage opportunities for him), but Disneyland! Beach! LACMA! Griffith Park!

    If you get tired of that, Oregon's stage opportunities are thriving, as are Seattle's and BC's. And New York. :)

    But do tell us when he gets a role on anything, so we can watch and cheer and write the networks about how great he is.

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  15. Yay for you BonBon! This sounds so crazy and romantic and adventurous!! Good luck and can't wait to read all about it! :)

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  16. That must have been so hard! I know you love those kiddos. But I hope to see you in the big CA! And Greg in some movies! :)

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  17. Wow, how brave and supportive you are to take this big risk.

    Even though its hard I think it will pay off ten fold. Sometimes you have to take risk and maybe fail for a little while before you can succeed.

    Good luck!

    Once Upon The Hill

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  18. quitting a job for a new adventure is such a huge mix of emotions but so exciting! congrats!

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  19. Good luck to you! You sound like an amazing teacher. I hope that you find another jobs soon. I left a job in October that I despised, and I still felt some of the same emotions. You pour so much of yourself into you work, and then on your last day, it hits you that you're not coming back to this place the next day. Even though I hated my job, I still cried. Change is hard.

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  20. No guts, no glory!

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  21. Professional actor here, in LA & NYC (I like to say that I live on airplanes.. the postal system and I hate each other.. it's great), currently in LA. It is the best here. The very best. I've played every major market in the country (this makes me feel fancy but it's true) and I stand firm that LA is the best. Is he in theatre? on-camera? Feel free to email me if you need any advice. And about the job? Bravery is the only route, it'll lead you to whatever is next for you.

    http://kerrying-on.blogspot.com

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  22. Quitting your job even when its planned is hard. I cried when I told my boss i was quitting an moving to China to teach. Haha it was like the things I didn't like about the job all went out the window when I was ready to quit.

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  23. Best of luck to you! No risk, no reward! My husband and I packed our bags 4.5 years ago and moved out to Hollywood with stars in our eyes. We were/are so excited for what the future holds. It took him about 2 years/ me 4 years to learn to love this crazy city! We are here for the long haul, as I hope you are too:) my husband is a director BTW. Who knows maybe one day our husbands will work together?! If you have any questions about the city please let me know!

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  24. Good luck! I can't wait to read about your adventures I'm Hollywood!

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  25. !!!!!!! So Exciting!!!!!!

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  26. i know you are so sad to leave your job. And I know your students will hate to see you go, but how fun that you get to start a new adventure!

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  27. It is always scary with these kind of life decisions... We were in a similar situation a year ago and while it was really hard at times, I never could have imagined how blessed we would be a year later. I am sure the move will bring you closer to Greg and work out for the best, even though it's difficult now. I think everyone will love you just as much at your new job as well :)

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  28. That must be nerve wracking! But you're off on a great adventure, I'm sure.

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  29. I got sad just reading this! I mean I know it's a huge adventure ahead and that it's probably going to be totally exciting and fun and all - but wow, you seem really happy where you're at and what you're doing.
    So with that being said, I think you're awesome for being able to do this with your husband and doing it with a great outlook.
    I wish you all the best and can't wait to read about your future adventures in California!

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  30. I've only quit jobs I didn't give a shit about - just handed in the paperwork and walked out to drive my car with the windows down and listen to music that stuck it to the man, ya know, so I can only imagine what quitting a job you actually like is like. You're brave!

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  31. It's always scary to start something new and leave the comforts of "home". Everything great has a hard start and everything worth doing is worth fighting for. You and the hubs are going to have an amazing time chasing that dream and grow closer through the whole adventure. Congratulations for being brave and resisting the temptation to avoid change.

    Do I get to say I knew her when???

    Also...please don't get upset with me if one day you are on the red carpet and you wear a dress that should have never been made...I will HAVE to talk all about it!!

    Laura@MiceInTheKitchen

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  32. I can understand your feelings. I am in the process of moving up in the world and I have to quit a job that I absolutely love right now! It's a terrible feeling but it is what is right to do. Your are going to do GREAT!

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  33. I actually admire you for this. I am the kind of person that would not be able to handle the unknown. Cheers to new beginnings and great new adventures! :)

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

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  34. It's definitely hard leaving a job you love. I had to do the very same thing when we knew the military was moving us across country. It was hard, I shed a lot of tears, but it's such a growing experience!

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  35. You and Greg can make it, I KNOW you can.

    Quitting a job that you may love may close one door, but it will open a bigger and brighter one. Just make sure to visit that school OFTEN!

    (I've visited the old jobs that I used to love quite a deal of times, just good for the soul)

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  36. This made my heart race!

    I just went through this when we moved from TX to NC 7 months ago. Of course, I'm a dork and handed in my resignation TWO MONTHS ahead of time because I just couldn't hold it in!

    Best of luck on your adventures! I'm so excited for y'all and can't wait to read all about it! :)

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  37. What kind of message would you send your students if you didn't support your husband? Follow dreams? Live life? You'd be a hypocrite if you didn't practice what you preach - isn't the goal of high school to learn skills to prepare for 'the real world'? And that's a 4 yr program - consider yourself an overachiever since you got it done in 3. :) ~ Dee

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  38. My heart breaks and rejoices for you! I know exactly what it's like to know you're doing the "right" think for you and your husband, but also wondering why in the world you are CHOOSING to leave such a wonderful place to work.

    However…three years down the road, I don't regret my decision and I'm sure you won't either. I do miss it, but I don't regret it :) And the good news for a great `teacher like you? There are horny teens everywhere that don't know the different between 'there', 'their' and 'they're' ;)

    Good luck!

    here is the post I wrote after turning in my resignation http://kelseylynae.blogspot.com/2010/04/here-we-go.html

    and about my two years there
    http://kelseylynae.blogspot.com/2010/07/reflection.html

    and then about the change of moving
    http://kelseylynae.blogspot.com/2010/06/change.html

    I know you read a lot of blogs so don't feel like you need to read those, it was just helpful to me to hear similar stories when I went through it.

    Good luck!

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  39. Holy cow! How brave of you - I can't wait to see what's in store for both of you!

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  40. Wow! What a brave move. He is a lucky guy to have such and adventurous and supportive wife. Not to mention hilarious "Admit it- it's all very romantic in a "you two are very stupid" kind of way." I might have snotted on my keyboard a bit at that one.

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  41. It's so bittersweet, isn't it? You love where you're currently at but know you have to move on.

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  42. LOVED Gone Girl and I'm pretty sure you are stalking me because my book club is reading the Fault in our Stars in a few months. I'm excited to be following along with yours!

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  43. Wow! What a big move! I know you'll find great things later on and have more great classes to teach. :] Job security is such a scary thing to think about (especially as a sophomore creative writing major...Greg and I could start a support group...) and I don't really know how I'll handle that later in life. Applause to you for being such a risk taker!

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  44. I know it's sad to leave a job you love and where you feel comfortable. But it's really exciting that you get to start over somewhere new... and fantastic that you are looking forward to a new adventure. You have such a positive attitude. Can't wait to hear about this new journey you're embarking on.

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  45. You are coming to my next of the woods! I'm further down south in SD but Cali is awesome if you asked me...never mind the LA traffic! I think it's awesome that he is pursuing his dream. I did dome modeling and acting and made some drastic decisions to try to pursue it but I was never able to put everything on the line and truly go for it. I think it's awesome that he's doing that and that you are supporting him. Onto new adventures!!

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  46. This was the first thing I read this morning while drinking my coffee, but didn't get a chance to comment then. You are inspiring! I have been contemplating quitting my teaching job in order to pursue my card business, but it seems so scary to no longer have a steady income. I know that I would love doing that so much more than teaching, but it is hard to take that leap. Seeing that there are others out there that are pursuing their dreams helps me realize that I can do it if I truly want to! Thanks for this today!

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  47. I literally have no time for blogging right now, but once I started reading (I subscribe to Shannon Hearts), I could not stop. You are awesome and I thoroughly LOVED reading your post! I am so glad I found your blog...and I think I actually shed a tear reading about how much you love your job and are going to miss it. I feel like if we met in person we would be great friends, and I'm pretty sure that is how everyone who reads your blog must feel. :)

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  48. Wow! Congrats on this fun new chapter in your life! I commend you for being supportive of you hubby's goals/dreams. I know many women that simply wouldn't make a change like this. It's funny, my ex-sister has been so reluctant to live with her husband in Seattle where he's going to med school that she actually moved back home to her parents house, lol.

    Hooray for your big move and hooray for Cali!!!

    ♥ Talia

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  49. How very exciting! And of course, good luck!

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  50. Bon Bon, what's up? I thought you were going to stay in Utah for longer? Guess I haven't heard the latest. What you just did is not an easy thing to do. No siree. I've done it twice.

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