If I were a boy, yo!

Blogging geniuses Erin and Gay have come up with the genius idea to write on the topic, "If I were a boy..."  Little did they know this has been on my mind for years now and I've got more to say than they are going to know what to do with!

IF I WERE A BOY....

I would never get uber emotional and break into tears for no apparent reason.  I'd have control of my emotions, dang it!

I would take the trash out every day and do the dishes because I know how that turns a woman on.

I'd have a hair cut like Jef Holm's.  So beautiful.

I would have five minutes of laughing time every day where I remembered that I never have to push another person out of me and I never have to have monthly cramps.  MWAHAHAHA!  Women are such suckers!

I'd pee wherever and whenever I felt like.

I would watch The Bachelor every week for no other reason than it would make me a total ladies man, I would get invited to all the girls only Bachelor parties, and I would always have something to talk to the chicks about.

I'd be really tall like my brothers.  All my brothers are over six feet tall and I'm a mere 5 foot 4.  Now that ain't fair!

I'd try out for NBA basketball.  See above.  Tallness.

I would try to come up with clever ways to make girls pay for their own dates.  I'd make bets with them that were guarantee wins for me.  I'd never have to pay for a date!

I probably wouldn't be a teacher.  :(  Instead I would be a professional sky diver!

Every time girls complained about their period or the pains of feeling like your whole insides are going to explode every month  I would say, "Gross.  No one wants to hear about that.  Please.  Be classy."

I would pick up hitch hikers all the time.  No threat there!  Also, I would hitch hike myself.  All over the freaking country.

I would carry a gun around with me just to feel more hardcore.

I would never ever ever have to go grocery shopping again.  I'd make the woman do it!  Oh, it is good to be a man!

I'd have really big muscles.  Obvi.

Wow!  Who would have thought I would enjoy being a boy so darn much?  If I ever get reincarnated I know what gender I'm choosing!

Now, before I sign off I want to live you with a special little Valentines Day treat.  And something to get us through the rest of January.  Goodness, does this month ever end?

Ashley from the Shine Project emailed me and said, "Hey!  You want some bracelets?"  And I said "You bet I do!"  She zipped them over to me in the mail and I haven't taken them off since.  I have so much respect for Ashley and what she does.  Her jewelry is made by at risk youth seeking empowerment and to break the cycle.  They make the jewelry and are paid for it- the money enabling them to go to school and find opportunities they would never have otherwise.

Pretty inspiring, huh?  Not to mention that the jewelry they make is seriously breath taking.

It stands for Bonnie loves Greg, not Boy loves Girl as Hubs originally thought.  Silly boy.

For Valentine's Day, Ashley is giving away a custom Threads bracelet, just like the above beauty I'm sporting.  Your initial + heart + your lover's initial.  No lover?  Just slap your own initial on there!

Mandatory:  1. Follow Life of Bon and 2.  Check out the Thread shop and leave a comment saying which bracelet is your fave.

Also, because they are awesome, Ashley and her peeps are doing a little Valentine's Day special for you readers- buy two bracelets get one free.  Enter code "Valentines" at check out.  I think it's time we all go buy OURSELVES a little Valentine's Day treat.  Am I right, or am I right?

P.S.  Welcome Saturated Canary readers!  I sure hope you'll stick around.  Check out the Best of Bon if you're still not sure!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The fierce complexity of groceries.

SPONSOR, SPONSOR, GET YOUR SPONSOR ON!  I've got medium and small ads open for February.  Both come with opportunity to participate in group giveaway and sidebar buttons.  And they're the best bang for your buck you're going to find on the whole world wide web, I promise ya!  Check here for more details and email me at thelifeofbon.com.

It's been a while since we talked about anything deep and meaningful here on the blog, and by golly isn't it about time already?!?  Let's dive deep!  Let's get insightful!  I'm talking profound here!

GROCERIES

THE FORMIDABLE GROCERIES

Does anybody out there hate grocery shopping as much as I do?  I mean, is it just the worst or what?  I LOATHE grocery shopping.  I would rather do any chore in the whole world over grocery shopping.  Even toilets.  Yes.  Toilets.

Since I've been married I've switched up my shopping strategy many a time.  First I followed my single grocery strategy and that was to just buy whatever looked good at the moment.  That didn't work very well as a man can't live on fruit snacks and cold cereal alone.

Next I decided to be chef extraordinaire   I planned meals out a month in advance, writing endless grocery lists filled with ingredients I didn't know existed like cumin and water chestnuts.  Meal planning and grocery shopping was a four hour affair, but once I was done I was done for a month!  And only $250 down the drain!

There were obvious disadvantages to this.  The food started going bad before we could use it.  And I never remembered what ingredient I had bought for what recipe.  And I burned half the recipes anyway.

Next came the eat out approach.  I bagged groceries completely. (Get it... I bagged groceries... too good, Bonnie, too good.) We'd go weeks with nothing more than a half gallon of milk and a bottle of ketchup in the fridge.  Hubs would say he needed food and I'd tell him there was a Taco Bell across the street.  Four sicknesses and nine pounds later I realized man can not live on Dorito tacos alone.  (But a girl can dream can't she?!?)

My most recent strategy has been the in-n-out approach.  I go to the store two or three times a week and just pick up the few things that I need in the immediate future.  AS FAST AS I CAN.  In store.  Out store.  Bam. No huge meal planning, no stressful lists.  A loaf of bread here and some sliced turkey here and that's that.  The problem is I am still having to spend entirely too much time in a grocery store.  And even though it's only $20 a grocery session I'm spending that three times a week.  It adds up.

This would be the point in this long, rambling blog post where I turn to you.  Help a hopeless shopper out?  I've got two questions that I would desperately like some answers to:

1.  How in the world do you do grocery shopping?  Do you plan your meals out for an entire week?  Or do you just pick up whatever?  Do you always have a grocery list when you go to the store?  What is the easiest way?!?!

2.  How much is normal to be spending on groceries a month?  I spend $200-250 a month on just me and Hubs for a month's worth of groceries.  And we go out to eat once or twice a week.  Every month I feel like I way overspent and yet I can't seem to make the bill go any lower.  What's normal?

I told you girls I was going to get deep, didn't I?!?

P.S.  Saturated Canary readers, welcome!  You didn't know you were going to get a topic as fascinating as groceries, did you?!?  If you want to stick around, check out my Best of Bon posts and I'll love you forever! Don't forget to follow on twitter: @thelifeofbon and instagram: @thelifeofbon.

15 women + 1 man= Reality TV GOLD. AKA, BACHELOR RECAP

Well folks it is time for Bon's first ever Bachelor recap.  And maybe my last Bachelor recap. Who would have thought it would be so hard to properly make fun of this show?

We start off with a date for Leslie.  They start wandering aimlessly around the museum of Guinness Records to which Leslie remarks, "This date is so different than I expected."  In other words, "This date sucks.  And you're not spending enough money on me.  And where's the damn helicopter already?!?"  Next Sean really pulls the big surprise card and says that they are going to break the record for longest make out.  Smooth, Sean, Smooth.

At that point my bestie Mandy who was watching Bachelor with me replied, "So... I have to watch them make out for three and a half minutes? Forgive me one second while I go kill myself."  Nailed it, Mandy! Out of nowhere appears a British man announcing the kissing which makes me wonder what in the world Chris Harrison is doing there if the Brit has got the announcing covered.  I think Chris just wants to watch them make out for three minutes.  You know how Chris Harrison is.  He lives for this kind of shiz.  Sicko.

The highlight of the kissing extravaganza was a toss up between my other bestie, Amy, yelling to Sean "Open your mouth a little bit!  Learn how to kiss, you idiot?!?" and Chris Harrison yelling to a drunk lady who was watching them, "What do you think of this!?"  Any normal person would have replied that they thought it was quite weird.  That's why they had to get a drunk lady to yell back, "It's great!!!!"

I wasn't loving on Leslie too much, but it wasn't until their dinner date when she said, "Some people don't like junior high or high school but I loved every second of it," that I knew something was majorly wrong with her.  Who loves high school?  And worse, junior high?!?  She's a peaker, that one.

And why does every girl that is on the bachelor have parents that have the perfect marriage?  I'm calling BS!

The date ends with another nice make out session followed by random confetti bursting through the air.  What I want to know is who is the guy that they pay to watch the couple, wait for them to start making out, and then let off a bunch of confetti.  And more importantly, how do I get that job?!?

Next up is a group date!  One shining beauty says in her confessional, "I'm glad I'm not going on the group date because I have a feeling it's going to involve some kind of activity..."  Um. yes.  You would be correct, Einstein.  Dates involve some kind of activity.  Let me know how life works out for you trying to avoid any and all activity.

The girls all get to go to the beach and it appears as harmless as can be with women baring their bikinis and frolicking into the ocean with Sean.  What?  A Twist?  A volleyball match and only the winning team gets to stay?  I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.  Lie.  I did.  I saw it a mile away.  I should be their new writer because I could make these dates up in my dreams. In fact I do, but that's a story for another day!

The girls get down and dirty in their ultra competitive vball match.  I'm no volleyball player, but did they somehow find the worst 12 girls at volleyball in the country?  It was embarrassing to watch.  I was ashamed for my gender.  Please women.  Stop.  Stop flailing around and hitting the ball every which way. You're making ME look bad!  Also, does anyone else remember on Ben's season where all the girls had to play baseball against each other and then the losers got sent home on a bus?  And Blakely bawled her eyes out?  One of my favorite Bachelor moments ever, and yes, I watch entirely too much Bachelor.

Group date night goes awful when Kacie tries to tell Sean that... that... what exactly does she try to tell him? That Amanda and Dez don't like each other?  Who knows?  I was confused and why did she say she felt like she had been punched in the face?  Because two other girls were fighting?  If I've learned one thing from years of watching Bachelor it is to never ever rat on the other girls to the Bachelor.  You will pay for it.  You hear me, Kacie?  YOU WILL PAY!  I gained a whole new level of respect for Sean when he replied, "Why are you telling me this?" and then, even better "Act like Kacie, not like some crazy person."  Mostly I like that line because Hubs says it sometimes to me.  I get you, Kacie!

Kacie then ends the night by bawling her eyes out because she ruined her chances with Sean.  That look is really working for you, sweetie.  Don't stop.

Next we get a date to six flags with AshLee.  But before that, Tierra fake falls down the stairs to get more attention.  Oldest trick in the book, honey.  If you're going to be manipulative, at least be creative, huh?

Onto AshLee.  Hate the spelling of her name.  Love the girl.  I can hardly think of anything mean or sarcastic to say about the whole date.  I was totally impressed that they brought along two chronically ill girls and totally touched by AshLee's story about her adoption and her dad.  It's not often I'm both impressed and touched, but what can I say I've got a soft spot in my heart for nice dads!  AshLee, you sly devil, you, you got me!  I see her as more mature than most of the girls on the show *ahem, Tierra, ahem*.   AshLee's best line of the night was , "I definitely want as many children as my husband and I decide."  Oh really? Thank you for letting me in on that little secret!

What follows is a mean cocktail party, where all the women "steal" Sean from each other.  I must be way smarter than all the woman on Bachelor, because HELLO!  Take him somewhere no one else knows!  Hide!  Or go on a walk so someone would literally have to walk after you like a stalker.  Come on girls, get creative here!  You have now embarrassed our gender physically (vball) and mentally.  STEP UP!

Rose ceremony time!  Sean takes Kacie out before the rose ceremony and in what I see as a total nice guy move, spares her the humiliation of the rose ceremony.  She tried to get out of the friend zone, he didn't see it, so he let her go on her ugly crying face way privately.  Back in with the other ladies, he he sends the book cover chick/ model home (whose hair was pulled WAY too tight!) and a lady who looks like she could be his mother.  He kept  Desiree hanging until the end and tried to freak us all out, but we all knew she wasn't going anywhere, didn't we?

Also, for the record, I can't like Desiree because she looks exactly like the girl Hubs dated before he met and fell in love with me.  All ex girlfriends must be hated.  DEATH TO DEZ!

Alright, chicas, I'm out.  If you haven't checked out Tay Tay's Bachelor recap, hurry on over.  She always nails it.  And if you know spoilers to the season DON'T YOU DARE POST THEM IN THE COMMENTS.  I will personally hunt you down and strangle you with my own hair.  I am trying my absolutely hardest to not have this season ruined for me, and I take my Bachelor VERY seriously!  THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Update! Update! Get yer Update!

UPDATE #1:  HUBS' HEALTH:

After I lovingly broadcasted to the world that Hubs was fully engaged in a "puke fest" on Thursday night I thought the worst was over.  What followed was puking, puking, and more puking.  Finally, four hours after the puking commenced, we took Hubs to the E.R.  He couldn't even stop throwing up long enough for the nice lady to put an I.V. in him.  Finally he had some anti nausea pumping through his veins, some anti cramp crap pumping through his veins, and lots of fluids getting put back in.  The boy was totally dehydrated.  Four hours and one middle of the night pharmacy visit after THAT we were back home.  It was 4:30 am.  I tell you this much, I don't love 4:30 am like I used to.  In my college days I lived for the 4 and 5 am hour.  That was when I really knew it had been a good night if we were still out that late.  The later the better for me.  Now I see the 4:00 am hour and I want to puke.

Hubs didn't leave the house all Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.  Not even once.  It has been a long weekend of doing nothing.  But sometimes that's okay.   He did eat a chicken taco tonight (first real food in three days!) and is even playing with the dog a little bit.  He's on the mend!

P.S.  He lost 7 pounds.  IN THREE DAYS!  Talk about a miracle diet!

UPDATE #2:  GIVEAWAY WINNER:

The winner of the massive January group giveaway is Gayle Talabay.  Gayle, sweet cheeks, you are about to get HOOKED UP.  And I am so incredibly jealous.  Be watching for an email.

UPDATE #3:  BOOK CLUB

The 2013 Book Club Selection is finalized!!!  DRUMROLL......

February:  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
March:  The Fault in our Stars by John Green
April:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
May:  Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
June:  Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
July:  The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
September: Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
October:  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
November: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
December:  We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Our first read will be Gone Girl because that is the book that received the most votes.  Besides that, I just kind of placed the books in a month that seemed appropriate.  The Great Gatsby is in April because the movie is coming out in May and I figured we should all have it read before then.  The Help and Seriously...I'm Kidding are in June and July because they seemed like great beach reads. (Ah, the beach!  Does such a thing truly still exist?!?)  A Thousand Spendid Suns and We Need to Talk about Kevin are both heavier reads and for that reason felt more appropriate in the fall/winter.

I tried to get a good balance of heavy and light books and a good balance of different topics, genres, time periods, writing styles, etc.  We've got a little bit of everything in this book list and I am so excited!  One book that received a lot of votes that didn't make it to the reading list was The Secret Life of Bees.  I found the book to be a little too similar to The Help in theme and since The Help got more votes and is a way better book, I figured we could just do The Help.  And I thought The Secret Life of Bees was totally boring.

I seriously am so excited about this.  Almost 200 women voted for the book club- can you even imagine a book club with 200 people?!?  EEE, GATS!

So that we all kind of know what to expect with the book club, we will "meet" to discuss book club the last Wednesday of every month.  That will put our first book club discussion on Gone Girl on February 27.  Buy the book, check it out from your library, steal it, do whatever you have to to get a copy!  Then spend a few hours hidden in a corner where no one can bother you and enjoy the simple pleasure of reading.  And then come prepared to talk talk talk about the book.

WOOT.  WOOT.

P.S. If you plan to participate in Bon's Book Club, I would love it if you grabbed a button and displayed it on your sidebar.  Of course, you don't have to.  Just if you want.  You know.  Cuz reading is hip.

<div class="www.thelifeofbon.com" style="width: 200px; margin: 0 auto;"> <a href="http://www.thelifeofbon.com"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivPo5ibQwQG-c8vNZusiZEvcGnF1bOYzgzmWB4Cs3gheb51OmcTcopXPB0ZKyPAtf6wixIWfyUwDI4k24O9Y0TPLWbr4IFr3YL0YYfivZaGymXlZw1joyfc9m1CGBZ0dAmKYSy/s512/bookclubbutton.jpg" alt="YOUR BLOG NAME" width="200" height="200" /> </a> </div>

Puke fest.

Tonight Hubs and I enjoyed a visit to the temple.  Well.  Enjoyed is a relative term.  I enjoyed it.  Hubs suffered through it.  He had told me on the way over that he was feeling kind of nauseous, and inside the temple it just got worse and worse.  By the time we were done, Hubs looked whiter than freshly fallen snow and was making a beeline for the door.  I didn't even think he was going to make it out before he let loose.  Somehow he did and once he was safely outside he keeled over and vomited violently all over the temple grounds.  

And now, two hours later, I am sitting in my bed listening to him in the bathroom continue puke his guts out.  The boy is sicker than sick.  He takes a sip of water and three minutes later he is profusely puking again. I am trying to be super supportive by sitting close to him and rubbing his back and getting 7 up with a straw.  But mostly I'm just in his way and ask over and over, "Are you sure there's nothing else I can do for you?"  or "How can I make you feel better?"  The questions are futile- I think we both know he's just going to have to let it ride its course, but it kind of helps to pretend to help.  Maybe? Chew on that for awhile.

While I try to nurse my ailing husband, here's some ladies for you to meet and visit if you haven't already.  These chicas went above and beyond with the giveaway this month (Friday is the last day to enter- get moving!)- it really is such a great group of girls.  They are fun, generous, and not bad looking either!  Go show them so love!

Chrissy

Smiling is my favorite.  I'm a photo taking, cupcake baking, glitter loving, Random Act Of Kindness doing, knitting, clumsy lover of life. I find joy in the simple things in life like vanilla coffee creamer, good hair days and the smell of babies. I find comfort in seeing the silver lining in sticky situations and believing the best of people.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION:  To become a big time blogger just like Bonnie :)  Finish the goal list I created last year.... and be infectiously happy.

Blog/ Facebook/ Twitter

Allison

About Me: Hey peeps, I'm Allison from a new blog, Lawfully Lost.  I write about my adventures and misadventures as a 20-something law student.  I'm a terrible baker, I'm really bad at crafting, but I have been told that I can take a decent photo.  I have no babies or fur-babies because I have a hard enough time looking after myself.  But, I do have a man baby in the form of my boyfriend of six years.  He's enough work for me.  IMHO, I excel at eating, drinking, laughing, traveling on a budget, and being a tad bit crazy.

New Year's Resolution: I told my neat-freak boyfriend that I would try not to be such a messy slob around the house.  I'm pretty sure I've promised him the same resolution for the last few years.  I'm going to try really hard with this one, and will hopefully make it to February, at least.  Not likely though...  He has put up with me this long, why change a good thing now?

Blog/ Pinterest/ Twitter

Danielle Marie and Kat

Do you remember a time when men were men and women were women? A time when doors were held, respectful tips were given to pleasant waiters and thank you letters were anticipated. What has become of these times? Are these manners on the brink of extinction?  Provocative Manners is a common sense blog with a bit of sass and a lot of truth.

Blog/ Facebook/ Twitter

Kelsey

Hi there! My name is Kelsey and one of my new year’s resolutions is to learn how to cook! I live in Annapolis, Maryland and work as a Development Coordinator at a local art center. Annapolis is breathtakingly beautiful and I am so lucky I get to call this city home. My blog, Kelsey Nicole, focuses on my love for styling and fashion with a bit of lifestyle and travel mixed in.

Blog/ Facebook/ Twitter

Mosby

Hi, I'm Mosby and I blog over at Simplicity is Key.  It's a lifestyle blog all about...you guessed it ME!  I am a senior in college in Tennessee, but grew up in the lovely state of Florida where I hope to return one day.  I love my family, my friends and Jesus.  Come stop by, stay a while, and hopefully become friends!

New Year's Resolution: To reach my goal weight...whatever that may be!

Blog/ Twitter/ Instagram: @mosby_hardin

Lauren

Hi i'm lauren from "one sweet fairytale". i write all about my adventures in crafting, relationships, baking, yoga, and everything else i manage to get myself into. this year started off with a major change when i decided to take a semester off from college. follow along with me as i get myself into even more fun!! 

New Year's resolution: learn to use my sewing machine well!! i want to be able to make my own clothes!! 

Blog/ Etsy/ Pinterest

Lindsay

My name is Lindsay and I blog at Hot Mess, Cool Day! It's a place where clumsy is the new normal and growing up is in progress (just ask my new husband). You'll find stories about my daily mishaps (from falling down at Starbucks to crashing my car), pictures of my fur pups (they're named after superheroes), and various attempts at outfit posts. I love to eat (unfortunately) and enjoy watching full seasons of TV shows (currently working through The Walking Dead). Also, I talk in parenthesis.

 

New Year's Resolution: (respectful caps) to keep my apartment clean. You'd think between two people in a 5-room apartment, this wouldn't be difficult. You'd be wrong. Judging by the stack of dishes in the sink and the status of my bathroom, the resolution isn't going so well. Oh well, there's always 2014!

Blog/ Facebook/ Twitter


Meghan

20-something.  Love my life & the people God has blessed me with.  Little moments mean the most to me, because they often become the biggest memories. Just a college girl, trying to figure out this crazy world.   I blog at They Call Her Meghan, where you never know what I'm gonna write about each day.  Come say hi, I don't bite, at least I try not to!  

New Year's Resolution:  Write more.  & not just blog posts, but I want to write my story that I've been working on since my senior year of high school!  

Blog/ Twitter/ Instagram: @TheyCallHerMeg

Kim

Hi! I'm Kim, I blog over at The Thing About Destiny where you can find me joining in too many  lots of link ups, posting random recipes I actually did not fail at, telling you how middle school Math might be the death of me and doing my best to make you leave with at least one laugh. I live in Oklahoma with the love of my life and our 3 kids.  I spend my days running my kids to sports, working, trying to become active and eat right and of course, blogging.  Come over and have some laughs with me, won't you?

Blog/ Instagram/ Twitter

Heidi

I'm Heidi and here are some things you need to know. 1) I try to be a blogger at Row House 14 when I'm not teaching middle school students. "Try to" because I mostly write about my twitter faux pas and how my cat thinks he is in love with a milk ring and sleeps with it. But I also try to write about tasty recipes and stuff too, so you don't think I'm a crazy cat lady. 2) I make super awesome greeting cards that will probably make you laugh. 3) In my free time, I like stalking rocks stars. Just kidding. Well, maybe not.

New Year's Resolution: To cut back on buying shoes. I may be setting myself up for failure...

Blog/ Etsy/ Twitter


Megan

Hi there!  I'm Megan, the writer behind A String of Purls!  I call it a 'life and knitting' blog, but it's really so much more than that.  I write about the adventures I go on (a carnivorous plant store, for example, or how I went on a date with a guy who is 6'9"), the pictures I take (hello outfit posts!), and sometimes post tutorials (how to build a lightbox, or how to make a decorative yarn vase).  And, of course, I talk about all of the knitting I do!  I've been at it for ten years, so I'm a bit of a veteran, and completely obsessed!  Come see what I'm up to and say hi!

New Year's Resolution:   I want to be happy this year.  2012 was a really rough year, to say the least, and there's a lot of changes in store for my life this year, so through it all I want to take it on with a smile and positive outlook.  This past fall I realized that the old saying "people come into your life for a reason" is completely true.  That person taught me that I cannot keep living in the past, and how important it is to accept where the pieces have fallen and to move on with life.  That's how I want to live 2013.

Blog/ Etsy/ Twitter

Aren't yellow starbursts just the grossest?

Warning.  No correlation between post and pictures.  None whatsoever.

This is the third blog post I have started today.

I never do that.

I just sit down and then I write and then I hit publish and then I go dig ice cream out of the freezer.  But for whatever reason, nothing that I write today seems to nail it.  I am expecting visitors from a few blogs, so I want something quick, funny, and witty.  Something to make them laugh, but to also show depth.  To show that this is a happy place, a space on the internet where people can make off with free stuff and vote for books for book clubs and even get into an animated discussion about how wrong it is when people don't put their shopping cart back!

So I started a post about happiness and learning to be happy no matter the situation.  That'd get those readers!  But then it felt a little boring.  A little blah.  And not entirely genuine.  So I saved it and decided I would revisit it another day.

Next I started a post about grief- about working through grief, about accepting difficulties, about loving yourself.  I am currently reading Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies and I have been so touched by some of the things she has said about heartache and sorrow- I want to share all my own thoughts on the subject with you!  But then it felt too heavy. Too deep.  I've got a bunch of visitors for crying out loud, you can't just throw a huge post on grief at them first thing!  Don't get me wrong- it's a post I desperately want to write, and want to share, but for today it just felt too heavy.  A topic for another day.

So instead I will share little gems found in my days of what is usual and what is ordinary and hope you will maybe consider letting me pass it off as a post?

Tomorrow.... marks the official end of the quarter.  All my grades are in and now I am just dealing with the occasional straggling student who is wondering why he has 25% in the class.  Remember those three huge writing assignments that you decided you didn't want to do?  That'd be the reason.  I try my best to patient during this week and pray extra hard for charity and kindness and empathy.  But sometimes I still snap.

Yesterday....I graded the students' essays on Les Miserables.  One student's essay opened with, "SEX!  Now that I have got the attention of your nasty mind I would like to discuss the book Les Miserables that takes place during the French Revolution."  Yes.  You got my attention, buddy.

Yesterday... I read an essay that started with, "Les Miserables is a big, long book about a bunch of people who try to get other people to feel sorry for them."  Hmmmm.  Surprisingly accurate.  Maybe my students aren't doomed when it comes to college level writing?

Today... My student asked me why I buy spaghettios, cheese sticks, and fruit snacks for my husband.  I need to buy him "big boy" food.  Apparently she had been reading my twitter which linked to his twitter and now she knows all about my husband.  Isn't social media totally freaky?!?

Today... my Italian foreign exchange student said goodbye to me.  He is going back to Italy and I had no idea.  I thought he would be with us until the end of the year and my heart died a little.  It's weird getting attached to students.  They drive me so crazy and then at the end of the day I'm crazy about them.  Make sense of that for me, will you?

Right this second... I am hungry.  There is soup in the fridge, but I had that for lunch.  I'm too tired to make a new meal.  The Honeycomb is out.  What's a poor struggling woman to do?

The past two weeks... it has been under 20 degrees.  I don't remember the last winter this cold.  I am trying hard to love winter and embrace the season no matter what, but sheesh ice on the windshield does not make anything easier for anyone.

Sunday... I emailed my college besties and said we are meeting for a weekend in April I don't care what you say, I miss you.  And they said ok.  I'm now counting the weeks until we are all together again snorting spaghetti noodles and gossiping about boys.

Monday... My sister moved to Germany.  I now have one sister living in Argentina and one sister living in Germany and one sister living out of country is enough, don't you think?

Now... All I can think about it finishing this post so I can crawl into bed and read Traveling Mercies until I drift off to sleep.  It's that good.  She is such an in your face writer, and so brutally honest about her experiences.  She is raw and vulnerable and exposed and that is totally the way I like my writers.

Now peace.  And if this is your first time here, I sure hope you'll stick around.  Check out the Best of Bon page or the top ten most popular posts on the right sidebar if you aren't quite satisfied with this post.  You know I gotcha covered!

MWAH!

When you take 214 seventeen year olds to the movies.

Yesterday I did something a little bit reckless and totally stupid.

I took 214 high school students to the movies.

It's just that they worked so hard to finish Les Mis, and they all wrote fantastic essays, and they read 400 pages, and freak, children should be rewarded, dontcha agreee?!?  

The day was crazy, start to finish.  It certainly didn't help that I woke up half an hour late, sped to work, and then ran around like my chicken with its head cut off trying to get permission slips out and class planned all with just a few minutes before the morning bell rung.  There were multiple trips to the office (So you can just write me one check and then I pay for it all?!?) (Wait, how many students are on the excused list ?!?)  (Mrs. Hare is supposed to watch my third period- did you mark her down?!?) I about dang near passed out when the secretary told me that there were over 300 on the list.  We only had enough busses for 180 students!  The theater was only big enough for 200!  Turns out she was looking at the wrong list, but sheesh I could have just died right there on the spot.  I'm not making that up- I really could have!

More running, more scrambling, all while trying to throw in a quick lesson for my sophomores on the ever important differences between affect and effect.  Then I surprised them with a test and got another teacher to watch them while I ran to the office to get the check cut ($1,224 to see a movie.  WOWZERS!) and load the students up on the bus.  Only SOMEBODY (Ahem, other teacher involved, cough cough) had much more students than he had anticipated and thus it was that we ended up with 214 students and only bus room for 180.

The way I see it?  Not my problem.

I started checking kids' names off the list and shuttling them outside and what do you know?  Only two of the three busses had shown up!  And the movie was to start in a mere ten minutes!  I dived on to the first bus, told the other teacher to deal with the aftermath, I had to be first to the movie to give them the check, peace out! (I guess all the kids crammed into the third bus?!?  Who's to say what ever happened with bus #3?)

That's how I escaped the madness of the overcrowded busses.  I fled like a thief in the night.

Why, yes.  I was quite stressed.  How can you tell?  Is is the lips turning purple thing?  Oh don't worry about that, that's totally normal.

Next it was a $1200 check to a man in a tie and all of a sudden we had free reign of the theatre.  "Go on in kids!  Theatre Number 24!  Hurry in!  The movie is starting soon." I yelled at all of them. Boy!  Who would have thought it'd be so fun to be in charge of a movie theatre?  Night job, anyone?

Oh, but of course, we had to get popcorn first!

Riley's coat is totally stealing our thunder.  Rude.

I say myself all calm and cozy like but couldn't quite rest until the movie was on, but the previews weren't coming!  So I rushed to ask what the deal was- the movie's 2 hours and 40 minutes and we got to be back for afternoon busses, yo!  Let's get this thing started!  And so the nice man with the tie started it right away.  And that was the only time in my entire life that I told a whole movie theatre when to start and it listened to me.  Mark it in the books, my friends!

The actual movie ended up being fine- I guess as fine as watching a movie with 200 seventeen year olds can be.  They giggled at the over dramatized, highly emotional scenes, and they certainly didn't respect Jean Val Jean's heart wrenching death scene! But what can you expect from 17 year olds? I suppose that could be a lesson to film makers- the film's emotion needs to be believable.  If 17 year olds are laughing during a "touching" scene, then maybe they haven't worked hard enough to create authentic emotion? Then again maybe teenagers are just rude and immature.

I did, though, turn around halfway through the movie and chew out the kids in back of me.  No doubt they were confused, I am sure they thought I was another student.  But students don't usually turn around and yell,  "Girls!  If you can't get it together leave the theater but if you're just going to giggle there's no reason for you to be watching the movie.  Now stop laughing or get out now."  In any case, they stopped giggling.

Man, don't you just love being bossy sometimes?

We got back to the school in the nick of time for the afternoon bell and the kids to all bound right back onto the busses to go home.  I had left my cell phone in my school drawer and there were frantic texts and calls from the secretaries about me not being back in time.  The substitute for my third period class never showed up so I guess those kids just ran wild in the school?

I was an absolute basket case by the time the day was over and I can say this much with assurance: the movie was fun, but not fun enough to ever attempt again.

At least until May, when The Great Gatsby comes out.  Heavens knows I HAVE to take my juniors to see that one!

If you want a full report of the movie, you're not going to get it from me.  I liked it fine, but I wasn't over the moon about it.  And to tell you the truth, I wasn't over the moon about the book.  The whole thing is a little too cheesy/sappy/ highly coincidental for me.  I get that it's the Romantic period and Hugo wrote it to be that way, but it's just not my style.  I guess I like the drama more underplayed.  Chances that I will teach it again next year are slim.  So very slim.

I am however, very excited to hear my students' assessment of the movie as compared to the book.

Those kiddos sure can be smart.  I'll keep you tuned in to what they think.  Y

ou know, in case you care and all.

Let the voting begin! Book Club Style!

Alright girls, we are so close here to getting the coolest book club EVER started!  I have taken all of your suggestions in this post and out of them, comprised a survey.  The rules of the survey are this:  You can vote for five.  Choose the five books that you would absolutely love to read and discuss with an intelligent group of girls.  Some books don't require that much discussion whereas some books you just absolutely have to talk about with someone.  Consider that as you are choosing.  If you are wondering what the books are about the comments in this post gave tons of information, and of course there is always goodreads to help you find your way among the books.  Each participant gets five votes and the poll closes on Thursday.  At the end of the week I will post the results and our reading list for 2013.  We'll select a book for each month, starting in February so I will post the whole reading schedule for the year.  That way you will know ahead of time what we are reading, what books you need to request from your library, and what books you might want to sit out on.

Wow!  I feel just like Oprah.  Except way less powerful.  Now get voting!  I already know what five I am voting for!

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Y'all ready to get book clubbed?

Ever since the idea popped in my head two days ago to do a blogging book club I have thought of nothing else.

Okay, that's a lie.  I've thought about a lot of other things like why does it snow so much, how do all my clothes get dirty so fast, ice cream with or without hot fudge?  BUT what I was trying to say is that I'm excited for the idea of a blog book club. Crazy excited. When I first threw the idea out there to the masses in blog land I was almost positive I would get one meager comment back saying, "Uh... yah, I might participate if I have absolutely nothing going on, but you know.  Don't count on it."  I was floored when so many intelligent, thoughtful women replied back, "Freak yah!  Let's get this online book club going!"  And so we shall, ladies!

At first I thought about starting the book club in June when I'm on break and have time to breathe but then I thought for a second and just decided that was one of the stupidest ideas I've had for awhile.  Who wants to wait until June?  Let's get this going now!  February, watch your butts, we're coming for you!

The coolest way to do the book club is definitely to have its members choose the books.  Looks like we've got some decisions to make!  Everybody who wants to can leave a comment on this post suggesting a book(s) that they would want to read for a book club. At the beginning of next week, when we've gotten a good list of books, I will do a blog post with the list of all the potential book club books.  Every reader can then vote for their three favorite books.  But only three.  Don't get greedy with your votes, y'hear?  The top eleven voted books will be our reads for 2013- one book for each month February through December.  Sounds easy enough, right?!?

A couple of things to think about when suggesting books.

a.  Keep it PG-13...ish...  This one's hard to put a strict rule on, but just use your judgment. I am pretty comfortable with the levels of what I read, but so that we can reach as wide an audience as possible let's refrain from heaps of f words and graphic sex scenes.  What I'm trying to say is no trash.  There's a difference in books that may have difficult scenes but have great purpose to them and just plain dirty nonsense.  We don't want none of that.  Sorry, Fifty Shades.  You're for private book clubs that are definitely much spicier than this one. (And yes, I just called Fifty Shades dirty nonsense.  I'm awaiting the blogger outcry.)

b.  Book suggestions should be a good mix between scholarly and entertaining.  I love Shakesepare,  but we're not going to be reading Macbeth around here.  Too tough to hack alone.  On the reverse side, I don't want to read Twilight.  What we want is a good mi- something that will challenge us intellectually but not bore us to tears.

c.  Not too long.  We're only going to have a month to read each book, so I would say not to attempt anything that is more than 400 pages or so.  We don't want to kill ourselves off here.

And now, to start the suggesting off, here are some of my "suggestions"- books I think would be oodles of fun to read and discuss online with smart, sassy women like yourselves.

1. Life of Pi- Loved the movie, been dying to read the book.
2. Glass Castle- Read this probably 8 years ago, a memoir about a child growing up in poverty.  Fast read and thought provoking.
3. A Thousand Spendid Suns- One of my all time faves about repressed women in Afghanistan.  Spicy!
4. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close- I heard the movie was super lame, but I love the book.  Very unique way of writing it and told from the viewpoint of a very thoughtful eight year old.
5. The Fault in Our Stars- All I know is I've seen it on a lot of best of lists and I am dying to read it. Apparently it has something to do with cancer and it will make you bawl your eyes out.
6. The God of Small Things  I really know nothing about this book except for that I have heard it was good.
7. Gone Girl-  Again, I have heard it mentioned a lot, but don't know what it is about at all.
8. The Help- One of my favorite books ever.  I would read it again in a heartbeat if this book club forced me to it.
9. Room- I haven't read it, but it's about a lady who is locked up with her kid for a bunch of years.  Or something similar?
10. Sense and Sensibility.  Or some other Jane Austen book.  I haven't attempted Jane Austen since high school.  I hated her then, but am looking to give her a second chance.
11. Five People you Meet in Heaven- By Mitch Albom, who wrote Tuesdays with Morrie.  One of the feel good types of book.
12. We Need to Talk about Kevin- I like the title.

Now it's your turn!   Throw out a couple of suggestions.  And if you like somebody else's suggestion, second it!  The more nods one book gets the more likely that it'll be on the list to choose from for our book club.

Eee gats!, isn't this exciting?  And yes, I'm finding a way to work Eee, gats! into my daily writing escapades.  BE PROUD OF ME, PEOPLE! 

I love you. And that's that.

Coupla things.

I've been thinking about goals for the year and goals for the blog and where I want it to go and what is the purpose of this blog anyway and my oh my haven't we suddenly gotten quite deep?  I love Starbucks giveaways as much as the next girl, but I would like to think that this whole blogosphere runs much deeper than that.

In fact, I know it does.

There is a certain site where people go to bash on bloggers.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, count yourself lucky.  I recently got my very own page.  Big day for Bon Bon!  Interestingly enough, some of the criticism made me think and change up the way I do a couple of things on the blog.  Not all criticism is bad, afterall.  One person mentioned that I hardly ever respond to comments.  And I thought, "Crap. They're on to me."

The truth is I'm awful at responding to comments.  I am sorry. It's not that I don't have time, it's that it falls low on my priority list, somewhere below daily posts, grading research papers, and burning dinner.  But that is something I want to change.  I have such an appreciation and love for you that reads this blog and I absolutely soak up your comments.  Bathe in them, if you will.  Somehow I have convinced a group of intelligent, thoughtful, and funny women to read my frequent ramblings.  And for that I am so grateful.  So I want you to know that I am making a goal to be better to respond to comments and to let you know more often how much I like you. Because isn't that the reason we all blog anyway, because of the great people we meet?

Also, I am overwhelmed at the response to yesterday's post.  So so so excited about the idea of a blogging book club/ link up party.  Details will be forth coming.  ETA is February.  BOO YAH!

Now.  For a chick I am digging on.  Her name is Blaire and she is the writer behind Market Confidential.  Which I would love to name a child.  Blaire.  Not Market Confidential.  I think it's the most classy, chic name.  ANYWAY... Blaire is just getting started in this crazy blogging biz and I'd love it if some of us helped her hit the ground running.  Show her how awesome and loving this blogging world is.  Also, just so you know.  I'm calling it right now.  Blaire's going to be the next big blogger.  She just fills a niche in the blogging world that I think is totally ignored- that of the working, professional woman.  Mommy blogs have got their corner, fashion blogs have pretty much stated their ground, and you know, recipe and craft blogs kinda vomitted all over the internet.  But what about a little more shout out for us working women?  That's where Blaire comes in!  She talks about working in the corporate world and how to dress for the job.  I especially loved her post on what boots are appropriate for work (what do you think?  Over the knee boots- nay or yea?).  Not to mention the girl has impeccable style.  Not to mention her blog design is flawless.  Not to mention she's the most sincere, thankful girl I've ever interacted with.  Not to mention she's smoking hot.  Can you tell I'm smitten?   Read up on what she has to say in this post and then don't forget to show her some love on her blog.

(P.S.  Blaire confided to me that she is a guest post virgin.  

Well isn't this an exciting first night for her?!?!

EEK!!!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helloooo Life of Bon readers! My name is Blaire and I blog over at The Market Confidential. I'm a newbie at this whole blogging thing myself, but I've been a fan of reading them for a very.long.time. And seriously, is Bon Bon just not of the best ones out there?! I adore her and her blog! And am beyond excited to be guest posting here today!

Since this is my first time sponsoring Bonnie's blog (or any blog for that matter), let me fill you in on how this little blog came about. I decided to start The Market Confidential because I got so bored with professional women's attire. Apparently there's this conception out there that you have to dress like a dud to be considered "professional". WRONG ladies. You can totally dress cute, fun, and glam without losing credibility. Disclaimer: I have a business management/econ degree. Not one from Parson's School of Design. But I see enough to know what I'm talking about...kinda.

And I needed a creative outlet. When you're in the financial industry, your eyes start to cross after awhile at all the facts, figures, analysis (is that a plural version of this??), market information, political information...yours crossed yet?? Oh yeah, it gets mundane after awhile. I think my clients are the reason I stay sane;)

BUT, the blog is not only a fashion-idea blog. It kind of runs all over the place. Workout ideas for during the work day, energy/food boosting tips to get you through those eight+ hours, beauty tips, etc. with interjections of my personal life are what you can expect. I'm always looking for new ideas, so please shoot some my way!  Pretty please?!

Here's just a couple things you'll see often (outside of the things mentioned above)...

Diet Coke and mimosas...because that's how I function

This bundle of cuteness (who is also my nephew. No kiddos here yet, thank GOODNESS.) He drains my bank account on a daily basis. 

I'm a terrible picture taker, but THAT is one of my New Year's goals. But it also is the reason I don't have any funny pics to throw at y'all today. I wish because I love seeing them on other peeps blogs. How awesome was the pic of Stephanie from the last sponsor post in front of all those jello shots?! I loved that! And couldn't stop laughing. But  since I don't, and I only have boring pics, here's yours truly...just so you can put a face to the blog.

Thanks so much for having me Bonnie! Y'all stop by and say hi!