The Life of Bon: February 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tell them what they want to hear

I've become pretty good at telling people exactly what they want to hear. Take M for example. He is my general manager at the restaurant. I used to hate his guts. Now I just tell him exactly what he wants to hear and we get along swimmingly.

Example: Last night a corny couple came into the restaurant. I was supposed to be off the floor- the night was almost over. Well, these two bimbos wandered over into my section and so I had to serve them. The lady was nice as all get out. She kept smiling and telling me how beautiful I was. Obviously, I immediately liked her- she was telling me what I wanted to hear. So I told her what she wanted to hear... how great it is to have them in the restuarant, how sweet they are, how I wish they would come back soon.

Next, the corny couple went on and on about how this resturant is so much better than other restuarants they have been to of the same chain. Whatever, they are all the same, but if these peeps want to think one resturant is better than the exact same restaurant in a different city, don't argue with them. Just let them think what they want. Anyway, I gave the credit of our "off the hook restaurant" to M. "He drives a tight ship," I confided in them, as if it were some great secret (I was practically speaking in a whisper). "He doesn't take any slack from anyone. If the shrimp are in the oil 20 seconds too long or 20 seconds too little, he throws all the shrimp away and the cook gets the ax. He demands perfection." And you know... I went on. Shooting the bull. Talking about how great M is even though I secretly kind of hate him. He's a moron, after all. I told him once, but he didn't like that very much. All morons hate it when you call them morons.

Well, what do you know, M happened to be walking by at that exact time and I called him over, "M! This couple is dying to meet you! They want to know why this restaurant is the best they've ever been to. I told them it's thanks to you. You keep us all in line." M hates me, but I think in that instant he almost loved me. He was beaming from here to the moon. And so he started talking to the corny couple. And I escaped so I could go do my sidework and get the heck home.

Results of my telling people what they want to hear instead of the truth: the couple left a healthy tip. When I tipped out to M that night he thanked me for being a great server and said he looked forward to seeing me tomorrow night. Right. Apparently you just tell him what he wants to hear- you know- "M drives a tight ship!" and life gets a whole lot easier.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

It's official

This blog is now three years old. I guess I am making it official now. by making it official I have told somebody that I have it. before noboyd knew. it was like a secret blog. Secret and pointless. Actually, that's not true, my friend H knew about it. She was the only one who ever commented on anything. Now I have officially told my other friend, Ak. After coming back from my excursion in Argy I figure dout pretty dang quick that a lot of people have blogs. So I wanted one. But I already have one. So i guess now it's time to make this blog active. As in I actively post and follow other people's blogs, you know the whole blog deal.

But is it okay if I do this? My roommate C told me I can't do it. She says blogs are only for married people and that single people with blogs are weird. Well, I've always known I am weird, so I guess it's nothing new there.

I feel like I should have some kind of blog party to celebrate this. You know when gay people come out of the closet? Like they've been gay for years, but they finally come out with it and everything? I feel that way about this blog. i've been blogging for awhile, but I am finally coming out with it. now everybody is going to read it and probably discover that I actually have nothing interesting to say at all. I've seen some blogs with pics on them. i can't even imagine how to do that. I'm just going to stick with the simple blogs. Technology is really too advanced for me these days.