The Life of Bon: February 2019

Sunday, February 10, 2019

I thought I lost this blog.

I thought I lost this blog.

The domain name expired.  I didn't move fast enough.  And when I did move it was overwhelming and confusing and complicated.  Three hours on the phone with blogger and godaddy and blogger and godaddy and no answers left me crippled.  I paid godaddy $140 but nothing connected still.  They needed DNS settings and blah blah blah blah internet talk.  It was beyond my capacity to understand or fix.

My blog is gone
My blog is gone
My blog is gone

I tried to accept it.  An era of time lost.  Maybe an era of time I wanted to lose?  No.  Because yes there was a hard and lonely marriage in between the lines of this blog but there was also babies and teaching and faith and things that meant something.  Things I couldn't bear to lose.

It was the middle of the day on a Tuesday.  I got in a hot bath.  You've lost before in your life I tried to tell myself.  You've lost a dad.  You've lost a marriage.  You can lose a blog.  And I cried and cried.

A few weeks later my friend Sarah said "come over and I'll try to help you with your blog."  I didn't have a lot of hope. I had already said goodbye.

But I went over.  We logged onto godaddy.  Somehow.  The email and the password found in archives of screenshots.  She followed the completely nonsensical directions from blogger.  It didn't work.  She redirected things. Typed in code. It still didn't work.  I started to feel panicky and anxious.  I couldn't figure this out.  My brain wanted to explode.  I have to pick up my groceries I said.  I can't deal with this right now.   I'll keep dinking around with this Sarah said.  I took my kids and we left.

I picked up the groceries and went home and put babies down for naps and worked on orders for Hey June and started making dinner.

Picked up my phone to find a recipe, clicked on my internet browser and just like that, my blog popped up on my phone.  Restored.  Not dead.  In the flesh and alive.

I started crying as soon as I saw it.  I texted Sarah HOW DID YOU DO IT?!?!?!?

I just kept playing around with it after you left and gave it some time she replied.  I'm glad I could help.

I was overcome with gratitude.  I am overcome while writing this.  How do I deserve someone who will help me like this?

I've lost a lot in my life.   A dad.  A marriage.  Almost a blog.  But I've gained too.  A best friend who loves me like a sister and cares about my problems and sees ways to help me that I cannot even see myself.

Yes.  I've gained.