If you say the word August I promise I will stab you with a pencil.

Well guys, it's officially August and that is a thought that sends me into a mad fit of anxious shivers.  You see, all June and July I try to pretend that I have no job and money magically appears in my bank account.  I do my best at forgetting that I hang with snotty 17 years nine months out of the year.  I don't think about my students, I don't think about my lesson plans, and I definitely don't think about grading papers.  Shudder.  Shudder.  Shudder.  I justify this by saying, "Oh come on... it's June!  I don't even have to think about school until August!"  or "Oh please!  It's still July!  I don't need to worry about that until August!"

And then. 

BOOM.
AUGUST.

The inevitable.

I  have to go back to school.  I do not get paid to live for free.  I can't sleep in all twelve months out of the year.  I can't stay up late and eat snowcones 24/7 and go to the water park every day of my life.  No.  School is coming back.

Curse you, August.

The good thing is that I get to go back to school shopping!  Yes, I am 26 years old and I still do back to school shopping for myself.  I figure if I have to go back to school then I, by default, get to go back to school shopping.  Logic at its finest right there.

Today I have something AWESOME for you.  Elisabeth from La Vita e Bella is going to share some tips about marriage and happiness and butterflies and stuff like that.  Elisabeth has to be one of the happiest married people I have ever met.  Don't get me wrong, Hubs and I are happy as can be but sometimes I just want him to leave me alone so I can watch Teen Mom by myself, you know?  Elisabeth clearly has the whole marriage thing down pat and so she's going to share some advice for us.

FAST FACT:  I met Elisabeth at a blogger get together.  I knew who she was from her blog and had seen pictures of her husband.  I was positive I knew him from somewhere, but couldn't put my finger on it.  I don't think Elisabeth had ever seen my blog or knew who I was.  I marched right up to her with all the confidence of a small blogger who has no idea what she's doing and said, "I know your husband from somewhere!"  She just stared blankly.  Clearly I had caught her off guard.  "Your husband," I went on, "I have seen pictures of him on your blog and I know him!!!  Where did he go to school?"  Then I made her play the annoying "how do I know you" game in place of her husband.  We couldn't figure it out and I left the blogger meet up certain that she thought I was a stalker freak trying to ensnare her husband.

Or maybe I was?

(Spoiler:  We later figured it out... her husband had been in the same missionary training district that I was in back in 2007.  So I'm NOT crazy!)

And now, without further ado, I present to you, Elisabeth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I’m Elisabeth from La Vita e Bella. I blog about love and life, which to me are pretty much one and the same. 

I am a 21 year old college student and newlywed. I love chocolate, traveling, and dance. He loves skateboarding, engineering, and exotic fruit. We love the ocean, rock climbing, and sweet potato fries.
Ben and I met December 6, 2010.

We were engaged May 6, 2011.

We were married August 6, 2011.

Today I wanted to share some tips to heat up a summer romance

Everyone loves a summer romance right? Or, if you already have a man, here are some ways to strengthen that relationship. I know I have great plans for me and Ben after doing a little bit of this research!

Love and attraction may be something that we romanticize over in movies, literature, and daydreams, but science is actually starting to explain a lot of it. The chemistry behind relationships focuses around hormones. The key to successful relationships is the release of bonding hormones. So, looking for a summer romance? Here are some activities that release oxytocin and vasopressin, chemicals that cause bonding between a couple. 

Do something new:
-find a new recipe and cook together
-visit a new museum/local spot
-learn a new sport (tennis, golf, frisbee, volleyball), take up knitting, or enroll in a ballroom dance class together

-go camping (even if its only in a backyard)
-build a fort

Do something scary/exhilarating:
-go skydiving
-go on a roller coaster or to a water park

-raft down some rapids
-test drive a sports car 

-watch a scary movie

-go on night hike (maybe I'm a wimp that I think these are spooky)
-take up rock climbing!

(yes, this is a shameless plug for our favorite thing to do together - but given that its probably something new and definitely something exhilarating when you're 20 feet up that wall, I think its a fabulous idea! Plus, it really focuses on trust and support - be sure to let me know if you try it!)

These are pictures from our last few months of dating and first few months of marriage :) 

“We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”

Do you have other ideas for strengthening relationships? I'd love to hear them!

Have a romantic and fun summer all! 

Love,

Elisabeth 

P.S. For more of our fun dates and relationship ideas, come check out La Vita e Bella

iCRAZY- how does the internet affect your life?

Have you read this article on the effect of the internet on our lives?

If not, I recommend you do so.

I have been thinking some deep stuff lately.  Mostly about life and time and the way I use my time and what my life consists of.  I spend a lot of time online, especially this summer.  I've got some big goals with this blog and those goals require a lot of time on the internet.  A lot.   Naturally, I tend to wonder what the effect of so much time online is.

Last week I wrote a post on the pros and cons of blogging.  I talked about how much I love the blogging "community" but how I also feel a certain pressure to measure up to other bloggers.  I mentioned that I fear the blogging is not "real" and doesn't accurately portray real people.  The response to this post was phenomenal!  There were so many bloggers and women who added their two cents-  so many genuine responses, and if you haven't read up on them yet, well what are you waiting for?!?

This whole thing has been on my mind ever since, so when I saw this cover of Newsweek, my interest was immediately piqued.  I read.

Interesting things I learned in the article:

-The average American spends at least 8 hours a day looking at a screen.  Americans spend more time doing this than any other thing, including sleeping.

-More than a third of smartphone users get online before even getting out of bed in the morning.  (Are you guilty of this?  I know I am!)

-The average person, regardless of age, sends and receives 400 texts a month.  Teenagers send and receive 3,700 texts a month.

-The internet and mobile technology can help contribute to insanity.

-The more time online, the more the brain showed signs of “atrophy.”

-The brain of a person who is addicted to drugs and alcohol looks the same as a brain that is addicted to the internet.

-An article in the journal Pediatrics noted the rise of “a new phenomenon called ‘Facebook depression,’?” and explained that “the intensity of the online world may trigger depression.”  (Reminds me a lot of the "blogger effect"- not feeling as good as everyone else because of their seemingly perfect lives.)

 -Children describe mothers and fathers unavailable in profound ways, present and yet not there at all. “Mothers are now breastfeeding and bottle-feeding their babies as they text,”  said the article.

- The effect on high schoolers- adolescents who are still so malleable is especially profound.  According to the article, "This evaporation of the genuine self also occurred among the high-school- and college-age kids she interviewed. They were struggling with digital identities at an age when actual identity is in flux. “What I learned in high school,” a kid named Stan told Turkle, “was profiles, profiles, profiles; how to make a me.” It’s a nerve-racking learning curve, a life lived entirely in public with the webcam on, every mistake recorded and shared, mocked until something more mockable comes along."

- The article ends by saying this:  "…all of us, since the relationship with the Internet began, have tended to accept it as is, without much conscious thought about how we want it to be or what we want to avoid. Those days of complacency should end. The Internet is still ours to shape. Our minds are in the balance."

I'm not exactly sure what is meant by "The Internet is still ours to shape."  I did, however, read a quote by Marjorie Hinckley that really helped me put things in perspective.  She says this: 

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."

This helped me to think about my ultimate goals in life- strong faith, strong marriage, and strong family.  And I thought about how the internet is either contributing or not contributing to that.  I came up with a few ideas of things I could do to help "shape" the internet and these are them:

- Stay true to myself on my blog.
- Keep some things private.  There are some details of my life readers will never know about online.  There are triumphs, happinesses, fears, and insecurities I just won't give to the internet.  There is information I have that is personal and sacred, and I am going to keep this that way.
- Keep track of the amount of time I spend online.  Allow myself a certain amount, but when the time is done, get off.
-Make sure I am spending more face to face time with my loved ones than internet time.

How about you?  Does this trend of the internet seeping into every little part of our lives worry you?  Those of you with children, do you think it is important to monitor their time online, and if so, how do you do so?  Do you see the internet's growing pervasiveness in our lives as a threat?  Is it something you worry about or is it all being blown out of proportion?

A post in which I take five children out rafting on the lake during a thunderstorm

Do you or do you not love hearing about other peoples' weekends?

THIS weekend for us was a big Blackburn family get together at our family cabin.  Six of the eight Blackburn kids were there (R.I.P. Mary and Dennis... we'll see you at next summer's family gathering, suckers!) and 13 of the 14 grandchildren graced us with their presence.  Have you ever been in a cabin for 2 days with 13 kids aged 2-13?

IT IS PURE MADNESS, I TELL YOU. PURE MADNESS!

But the good kind of madness.

Here's the little darlings watching Ice Age.  Please notice Josie all the way on the right.  She has completely stolen Hubs' heart and run away with it.  The way he looks at this girl, I start to think I might never get my husband back.

Did I say there were a lot of kids at the cabin?  There were.
Did I mention how many adults were there? Just as many.
Thirteen adults.  Thirteen children.
Once the little angels were in bed the adults stayed up and got buck wild crazy.  You should see us play cards!

Is that me shepherding five children in a raft in the middle of a thunderstorm?
YES!
YES IT IS!

Friday the weather was crappy all day.
Sorry, mom, for saying crappy.
But it was.

We wanted to take the kids out on the lake, but rainy weather forced us to stay inside and watch movies and play cards instead.

Saturday we were determined hell or high water to take the kids out on the lake.
As soon as we got out there it started raining.  Literally the second the rafts touched the water.

And doesn't this all look very safe?

Hubs descibes me as "intense." From the above picture, you would never guess it, would you?!?

It wasn't easy paddling that raft.  I could have used some man help.  My sister's husband, Ben, hung off the raft and was not exactly the kind of help I was looking for.  I guess beggars can't be choosers, huh?

Hubs stayed on shore.  He likes places that are safe and comfortable.  I like places that are risky and adventurous.  This is his Native American face.  Also, please feel free to make fun of him for wearing a jacket to the lake.

As soon as we got out of the lake, the skies cleared right up.  Naturally.  I'm not even exaggerating about this.  We were in the lake for five minutes and that was exactly the five minutes of the day that it rained.  Once the skies cleared up I tried to get the kids to get back in the water but by then they were already traumatized/soaking wet/miserable/crying/other things that kids seem to be so much of the time.  It was a futile endeavor.

Hubs with his new girlfriend.  Can you see the hunger in his eyes for a baby girl of his own?  It's hard to resist, even I'll admit that.

While Hubs colored with the new gf, I was left to entertain the four year olds.  We played a game that four year olds are capable of playing, so that should tell you right there how awesome the game was.  I handled it like a champ.  Best aunt award goes to.... drumroll... BONNIE!!!!!

Hubs might be hankering for a sweet baby girl, but I'm thinking (contrary to my earlier thoughts) that I'll take a cute little boy.  Like this one.  He's my nephew, Matthew, and I just can't help but feel like a million bucks when he snuggles up with me and gives me a sly little smile.  And then I have to stop and wonder... is this why people have children?

And now, if you will please answer my question...

DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT LIKE HEARING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES' WEEKENDS?

Blades.

I'm doing this because I love you.

Not because I'm mean.
Not because I'm heartless.
But because of love.

This week I was driving home from the waterpark with Crazy A, my best nine months pregnant friend.  (Spoiler alert:  That girl is going to have a baby.  Literally any minute.)  Our sunglasses were on, our feet were dangling out the car windows, and it was one of those idyllic summer afternoons that nearly reach the perfection of the summer afternoons of our childhood.

We stopped at a stoplight.  I looked out the window.  What I saw sent me into a fit of giggles and a mad dash for my camera phone.

You know, just some dude rollerblading at 4:00 in the afternoon in 100+ degree heat. 

WEARING LONG PANTS.
WEARING A HELMET.
WEARING A BACKPACK.
WEARING AN IPOD STRAPPED TO HIS ARM.
WEARING ROLLERBLADES.

NOT WEARING A SHIRT.

He's even half smiling for the picture. As if he knew that I was snapping this photo to later post it on my blog and have it go viral for him to become a worldwide phenomenon. (Please let it go viral!  Please let it go viral!  Out of everything I have ever written on this bloggy blog, please let THIS go insanely viral!)

Crazy A and I zoomed in on the picture and drove home and laughed and laughed and laughed.  I'm convinced that people like this exist solely for my entertainment purposes.

If this doesn't make you laugh, I can do nothing for you, people.

You've never heard a joke this great, I promise.

LAST CALL FOR AUGUST SPONSORS.  I HAVE MEDIUM ADS AVAILABLE.  EMAIL LIFEOFBON@GMAIL.COM IF INTERESTED

I'm still on a missing my sister kick.

So I'm going to share with you our favorite jokes.

Get ready for cheese.

What did Ernie say when Bert asked him to pass the ice cream?
SHEBERT!

What did Godzilla say after he ate Tahiti?
I WANT SAMOA! (You might have to read this out loud to get the pun.  If you still don't get it, email me and I'll explain it to you.  I'm here to help you, friends!)

What's brown and sticky?

A STICK!

I can't help it, those kinds of jokes always get me.  I know they're lame, I know they're cheesy, but I love them!  My freshman year of college, my geology professor liked to start every lecture off with a joke.  Students would sign up for different days to tell a joke.  Naturally, I signed up.  I have a vague recollection of getting up infront of 500+ students and shouting the Godzilla joke with all the energy in my little being.

Nobody laughed.

But that doesn't mean it's not a great joke, people!

There is a kid here at the library screaming "MOMMY NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  As loud as he can.  He's crying frantically.  My imagination is running away with the possibilities of everything this mother could be doing to her child.  Most likely she's trying to get him to go out to the car.  Oh, kids.  They're so dramatic, ain't they?

Have you noticed that I have never ever posted a craft or a recipe on this blog?

It's because I stink at them.

But it's all going to change today!  Because I have brought in a crafter who knows her stuff.  And she's going to teach you how to make something NOT lame, but cool.  No offense to the crafters out there, but half the DIY stuff I see there I think "Why would you even want that anyway."  But not this.  This thing is the bomb.  Here's Jessica teaching you how to be crafty and stylish all at once!  Make sure to  visit her blog and give her some love, AKA hugs, kisses, lap dances... leave a comment?

i am uber excited to be here on bonnie's blog! 

i thought it would be fun to share with ya'll this fun tutorial that i posted on my blog a few months ago.
i decided it should resurfaced because i wear my headband fairly often and i am constantly getting compliments on it and asked where i bought it.

i think i will officially call this the "make you feel like the coolest person on earth leather headband"! what do ya think? ;)

anyways, here for you awesome peeps is my braided leather headband tutorial! 

you will need:
4 strands of leather strips about 36 inches long each
your head, or a friends...

i sewed the the four strands together just to keep them in place while i braided, if you have a different method you would rather use go for it!! make sure there is about 7 inches of lose strands.

braid the four strands until you reach the length you need to go around your head.

tie a knot at the beginning and end of the strand (remember you need about 7 inches of lose strands on each end) like so...







pull super tight! the cool thing about leather is that it holds. yay!






take the strand that you used to tie the knot and pull it aside. trim the other three. the long strands will be used to tie at the back of your head.


there are so many ways to wear this way awesome headband! i chose to wore it like this...

So cute Jessica!

Now the question is... WILL YOU MAKE ONE FOR ME?!?

Have a great weekend chicas and do me a favor and stay out of trouble, will you?

MWAH

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A letter to a sister

Hello folks.

Today you are going to get a special treat.  My little sis and b.f.f. in the whole world is oceans away serving a mission in Argentina.  Sometimes I start to miss her so much I can't hardly stand it.  Can't stand it, I tell you!  Sometimes I look at old pictures on facebook to ease my missing her.  Sometimes I write blog posts about her like this one and this one.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I write her an email.  Then my Mary fix is filled for a little while.  Then I start to miss her again and it builds up until I finally write her again.  Or stalk her more on facebook.  It's quite the process, I tell you.

 After I wrote Mary a letter yesterday I thought, "Hey, some of those peeps who read my blog might like to read this."  It's an entirely different writing style than what I normally do.  My letters to Mary are completely what rolls off my head.  As opposed to my blog posts, there was no editing, no read throughs, no organizing, no cutting. (Confession:  I usually read through and edit a blog post at least three times before I hit the "Publish" button.  Perfection at it's finest.)  This letter is, in a sense, Bonnie unedited.

So enjoy.
Hi MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW'S YOUR MISSION?!?!?! IS IT FUN?!? IS IT HARD? IS IT AWESOME AND MISERABLE ALL AT THE SAME TIME!?!?!? I KNOW MINE WAS ALL OF THOSE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you feel about the all caps? I guess I am experimenting with it. I FEEL LIKE IT GIVES A LOT MORE POWER TO MY WORDS. Tell my oh wise one, what do you think of THE CAPS?

But seriously. How's the mish? Mom didn't send us your letter last week so I have no idea what's going on in your neck of the woods. Also I didn't get an individual email from you. That was rude of you, if I do say so myself. I guess I didn't write either, so it was deserved, but still. I would think you would turn the other cheek since you are a missionary and all and still write to me.

Too much?

Sorry. I'm in a weird mood.

I am currently having serious serious regrets about my decision to teach 12th grade English next year. This regret comes because I have not done anything to prepare for it. I was supposed to read all of these books this summer to prepare for it and I haven't read one of them. I'm trying to read 1984, but freak that book is dense and so slow. I get bored and keep starting other books. Then I finish the other books. Then I read three pages of 1984 and get bored again and start another book again. I guess that is a sign I shouldn't teach it? I am just feeling like next year is going to be so busy because the blogging has picked up and I don't know how in the world I am going to keep on top of blogging as well as teaching three different classes. Maybe I'll have to be a little bit more "relaxed" of a teacher if you get my drift. Do you get my drift? Do you?  It means lazy, Mary, try to keep up.

Ummm... yah. That was weird too.  And rude.  Sorry.  It's 12:21 am over here in my neck of the woods. That's why I love summer because I get to stay up late. I also love the expression "neck of the woods" if you haven't noticed yet. It's pretty much one of my favorites. Almost as awesome as "happy as a lark in a meadow", but let's face it nothing beats that saying. 

Apparently this week has been kind of slow because I can't think of much to tell you. Greg and I are almost all done with the painting so that's awesome. We did three out of the four buildings and then some other guy is going to do the last building.  We were way done with that job. We made enough money to pay off the rest of our student loans and to pay for tuition in the fall and then it was just time to peace out. I would now like to do more reading, water parking, and blogging. Those are my summer priorities. In that order. Actually, that's a lie. Water parking goes first.

So I haven't told you this because I kind of wanted it to be a surprise, but I guess I'll just tell you because I can't keep it in any longer. I'VE BEEN TAKING TENNIS LESSONS! I really want to get good so I can beat you when you get home. Or at least play a competitive match with you. Or at least not send the tennis ball flying out of the tennis court. I'm definitely not good, but I've gotten better. AKA It's not a clean miss everytime I swing my racket.  Tennis is actually fun if you try. And if you are not incredibly intimidated by your entire family who is good and you are the only one who is somehow not good. The fam damily is going up to the cabin this weekend so I'm hoping to impress the crowd with my new tennis skills. I've been playing with mom and Greg and Mandy.  Greg's the funnest to play with because he's really good and a challenge and I never win but I feel like I get better when I play him. Mom and I are about equally matched so that's fun, too. I always get her with the shots where she has to run far. Cheap? No. Strategy. Sometimes I play Mandy and that's way fun too mostly because she sends the ball flying out into the street sometimes.  I'm not joking.  She hit it right into the street and this car had to hit their brakes and everything.  It was hilarious and I'm laughing just thinking about it but I understand you might not think it's funny because it's never as funny when someone tells you a hilarious story of something they saw. 

For Greg's birthday we went to the cabin with his parents and his brother and wife. It was awesome. They all loved the cabin.  It was fun to show them everything and amaze them with my horror tales of calking the entire cabin. Do you remember how bad that sucked? Do you remember how bad building the cabin sucked? I think for about four years of my life just hearing the word "cabin" made me go into a fit of anxious shivers. We went fishing at the cabin. Greg's really gotten into it this year. It was kind of sad because we went fishing three times and the first two times Greg and I were the only people who caught anything. Greg caught six fish and I caught five. And no one else caught a thing! Then they started to get mad everytime they'd see Greg and I start to reel something in. It was awesome. Luckily Brett and Kylee both caught fish later. Oh, did I tell you Brett took the MCAT this summer? He's still waiting for his scores.

Um. I know in your next email you're going to ask me when school starts. You're not allowed to ask that. I'm not allowing myself to think about school until after August 20. So I've still got a month. I guess that would explain why I haven't read any of the books I'm supposed to be teaching? Shoot.

Mary I need to tell you about something that has recently changed my life.  It is Tillamook's peanut butter and chocolate ice cream.  It's expensive crap- like $6 a carton- but oh my gosh that stuff is good.  I get a new carton about once a week and I swear I've died and gone to heaven when I eat it.  Just a little something for you to look forward to when you get back in the states.  That and clean bathrooms.  You're going to love first world living again, I promise!

I let Ben drive my car today. We needed to back it out of mom's driveaway so I told hiim he could do it but not to tell anybody. I guess I wanted to be the cool aunt, you know?  Ben's 13, that's old enough to learn how to drive a car, don't you think? I mean, heck, I'm teaching my kids to drive a car when they're eight just in case there's an emergency. I think if you're old enough to be baptized, you're old enough to know how to drive a car.  Just in case. Anyway all he did was basically hold on to the brake and then ease off on the brake. It was kind of cute how scared he was. I was like, "K put it in reverse now" and he just looked at me with this terrified face and said real quietly and with his voice quaking, "You do it." So I did the reversing and the steering and he just eased off on the gas. Next week I'll have to take him on another drive. I made him promise not to tell anyone. But seriously. There's a lot worse things in this world than driving with your aunt, don't you think?

Well Mar Mar it's now 12:39 and I am going to attempt to read more of 1984 before I inevitably fall asleep from pure boredom. Love you so so so so so so much and I'm so proud of how hard you are working out there. Keep up the good work and know you are missed at home. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for hottie boombalotties for you to marry when you get home.  I'll find you a keeper, I promise.  You're almost to your year mark. HOLLER!

LOVE YOU!

How you do you all keep in touch with your siblings?  Do you live close and see them frequently?  Write emails and texts?  Talk on the phone?  The possibilities for communication in this day and age are endless, I tell you, endless!

The pros and cons of blogging

Everytime I head to my mom's house she has a stack of mail for me.  This is because Hubs and I move at least once a year and we have no permanent address. Usually the mail my mom has for me includes a notice from a bank I deserted months ago and a statement from my retirement company.  That's right, Bon Bon's got a retirement account, isn't she special?

Occasionally in the stack of mail will be a BYU Alum magazine.  They start sending you this magazine after you graduate.  My theory is they do it so that you will always remember your alma mater and one day feel so inclined to send them lots of money.  The magazine is called "BYU Magazine."  Clever title, isn't it?

I thumbed through the magazine at my mom's house on Sunday and came across an article entitled, "Family Focus: The benefits of Mommy Blogging: New moms find emotional support in online communities."  What a mouthful, eh?  The gist of the article was this: women, and specifically moms, who blog are happier.  The article stated that having an online support system helps to relieve all of the responsibilities and burdens of motherhood and childrearing.

The article states, "With a new mom's increased feelings of connectedness and social support often comes better marital satisfaction and less marital conflict, say the researchers.  Holmes believes that when a mom feels that many people care about her, her husband is relieved of being the sole emotional support."

So I guess my question here is, DO YOU AGREE?  While I have definitely seen the benefits of blogging in my life, I feel like there is a fine line that I try hard not to cross.  A line that takes blogging from a hobby, an enjoyment and a fulfillment to an obsession, a burden, and a suffocation.  While I love the interaction I have through blogs and the great women I have met through it, it is a constant battle to not compare myself to the other women.  I long ago accepted I'll never be crafty and I'll never be a gourmet cook.  I was not born with these gifts.  But reading blog after glaring blog of beautiful DIY projects and perfect homes and delicious meals can make even the most confident women start to feel insecure.  Sometimes I feel my daily life is so mundane compared to others, that I'm not rich enough, pretty enough, or stylish enough.  And I wonder, Would I feel this way if I didn't spend so much time reading blogs?  Or would I feel perfectly ok about myself and the place I am in, because honestly, I'm in a pretty good place.

I guess what it comes down to is my number one struggle with blogs.  I've said this before in this post, but I will reitereate it here- I feel like a lot of blogging is not honest.  Our culture does not appreciate people who talk about their troubles on social media.  Think about the last time you saw a facebook status that said, "I'm so lonely.  Why don't I have any friends?"  Most likely you think that person is a social freak and that they should keep that kind of information to themselves- or at least not on social media.  But when you see a fb status that says "Had so much fun at the lake.  I have the best friends ever!"  You think nothing of it.  Or else maybe you get a little jealous because you didn't go to the lake this weekend.  You cleaned the house.  Or watched TV.  Or got in an argument with a family member.  Meaning that obviously your life is not as awesome as the lives of others.

Because social media does not encourage us to talk about problems, it by default does not encourage us to be honest.  Sometimes I read a blog and I think, "Yah, that all looks great, but I don't know you.  Who are you?  What's really going on in your life?  Besides the Instagram pictures of the movie you went to and the food you ate, please be honest with me.  Let me really meet you."  I think until the blogging culture is more friendly to an occasional "complaining" post, it won't be an honest culture.  Just yesterday I posted my frustrations at being overcharged at a doctor's office.  One reader commented, "Please stick to happy posts!"  While I understand that people don't read blogs to be bogged down by others' problems, I was also hurt that this reader only wanted to hear from me if I was happy.  If I needed support or encouragement or if I was frustrated or upset, the reader didn't care to read along.

So... now I will turn the tables to you.  Do you agree with the study that says that blogging makes you happier?  Does it increase your "marital satisfaction", as the research claims?  Or does it leave you feeling inadequate and searching for something more?

Please, please... CHIME IN!

Robbery: From foot doctors to As seen on TV products... they'll take your money and run!

I got robbed today.

By a podiatrist, of all people.  AKA a man who plays with feet for a living.

Now, no disrespect to podiatrists.  My dad was a podiatrist and he made a great living and provided well for his family of eight children.  I never wanted for anything in the world. (Except for maybe a little peace & quiet around the house and a bigger chest.)

For four years in high school, I even worked in my dad's office- sweeping up toenails, filing charts, and watching in horror as he fixed people's ingrown toenails.  I have all the respect in the world for podiatrists.

Except for this one.

I went to this podiatrist today because I have a condition known as burning, hot feet that has been plaguing me for months.  I finally manned up and made myself go to get it checked out.  Now, my normal doctor's co-pay is 20 bones, but the receptionist made me pay $35.00 because apparently podiatrists are "specialists" and that is what the specialists charge.  Again, no disrespect to the foot doctor, but podiatrists, YOU ARE NOT SPECIALISTS.  You are doctors.  Just like all the other doctors.  You didn't go to more school or less school than then other doctors so take your $20 co-pay and be happy with it!

After I went back into the room the podiatrist came on in.  I told him my feet were hot.  He gave me two creams and told me to try them and come back in two weeks if my feet are still hot.  Then he left the room.  I took the creams and made a beeline for the door before the receptionist caught on, "Oh, I'm sorry you have to pay for those."
"My insurance doesn't cover it?"
"No... I'm sorry it doesn't."
Worthless health insurance.  I blame this on you, Jordan School District.
"How much is it?"
"It's 15.00 a bottle."

And so I wrote another check, this time for $30.00, but you better believe I threw in a sassy look to the receptionist that said, "I am not happy about this!  NOT HAPPY!"

That my friends, is $65.00 for an eight minute visit to a doctor who told me to try a couple of bottles of lotions.

And yet, somehow telling you all this has made me feel so much better about the whole situation.

And now, for someone who actually has something NICE and UPLIFTING to say for today, I present to you Shane.  Shane's got it all when it comes to blogging- sass, style, and all the link ups your little heart could ever want.  If you haven't checked out her blog, you need to.  I especially love her Secrets on a Sunday thread.  It's the perfect way to vent anonymously.  Perfect, I tell you!

And now, take it away, Shane!

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Hello loyal Bon Bon readers!


Boy do I have a treat for you today. 
Oh yes, introductions. That's me, Shane,  down there.

I write over at Whispering Sweet Nothings & craft jewelry at WhisperingSweetly. Please pop by and introduce yourself, I love new visitors :)


Now on to the good stuff. The As Seen on TV.

My own mother has fallen victim to many of these products, easily swayed by anything marketed by Oprah, claiming to contain healthy antioxidants, or labeled with the words 'anti-aging.'  Since the launch of the infamous Snuggie, there have been several other laughable products that just get you wondering, who the hell buys this stuff? (Shane you better hope my mom doesn't read this!  She'll be disappointed in you for saying the h word!)


Bump-Its: My sister and I recieved these in our stockings from Santa 2 years ago (thanks mom).  Even Snooki hates the Bump-It trend.  I mean come on, who wants a little plastic arch peaking out from underneath their hair? And when you're in the moment with that special someone, it may come as a shocker when they tousle your hair and find this creature.

Gyro Bowl: The point of this being?  I've got an idea, lets pay $14.99 plus $9.99 shipping for a piece of plastic so our children will be entertained as they eat! And who thinks it's a good 
idea to put pudding in this 360 contraption  to turn upside down over your head?

Turbie Twist: Okay so I admit, I do own 3 of these, in a variety of colors (thanks mom).  They are quite handy, especially for dorm life.  Instead of wrapping a huge towel around your head that will ineveitably fall off, this invention makes that walk down the hallway simpler, scratching maybe a few seconds off your daily routine. A towel in the shape of a turban? They could have thought of a more politically correct name for the product, I must say.

Cami-Secret: The before and after appear to be switched. "Gives the layered look of a camisole, without the hassle or bulk of an entirely separate garment" I've got a fab idea, lets sell a tiny piece of fabric to cover you up!  I mean, have you ever thought about how tough life must be for your neighborhood hoochie? She loves to flash her cleavage at bars and clubs, but must keep it business professional around the office. She could bring a change of clothes, but 
that gets cumbersome to lug around everyday.  This boob apron works wonders, I'm sure.

Easy Feet: A shower for your feet! Could mankind get any lazier if we tried?

Pajama jeans: Not gonna lie, these would be a good investment for college kids ready to pass out when they stumble in at 3am and opt not to change into pj's, take off makeup, or brush their teeth.  Yet as a Miami University student, it's not socially acceptable to wear jeans out on the town. Even if it's 32 below in the dead of winter, skimpy dresses are a must.  So we run into a problemo. And at $30 a pop, that's as much as I'd pay for real un-hideous jeans. Forget it!

Booty Pop: Woah, a push-up bra for you butt?! I, myself could benefit from these (thanks for the advice mom).  I've heard horror stories about women dancing up on men and the pads scootching to the front.  Can you say creepy? They're a no go.

Shake Weight: If you use one of these and you're a man, I'm shaking my head. Why waste the money when you've got your own? And if you're a woman shaker, men will ineveitably raise eyebrows... and assess your skill level. Come on women, let's keep things PG in the exercise arena. And honestly, how big are your muscles truly gonna get with this mechanism?  If anyone's tested, I'm dying to know.

Tiddy Bear:  The ad features 2 chicks  obviously frustrated with the lack of furry stimulation to their upper torso who claim "seatbelts make it hard for them to breathe" Instead of investing in a ribcage implant to provide the protection their internal organs so desperately need, she opted for the Tiddy Bear.  The reality:  Who would find an irregularly shaped bear comfortable? And what kind of person would wear that monstrosity proudly on their chest, except maybe your 3 year old? I really hoped they were kidding about this one...

 

Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? Young Einsteins in the making.  And last but certainly not least:

Animee: A new beer specifically for the ladies! A “less gassy and lighter tasting” alternative to conventional beers, it comes in three varieties: standard, rose and citrus. I hope the men at the table aren't immasculated when I start pouring this stuff into the red solo cups. Hey maybe it'll be the wave of the future in alcoholism. I'm sold!

I mean who comes up with this stuff? And better yet, who falls for it? Mhmm mom, you're embarasssing.

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

So....


What'd you all think of the Bachelorette Finale?!?

Come on girls, our lives don't get any better than this reality TV gold!  Let's talk, talk, talk, talk TALK!

My thoughts:
- The break up with Arie was painful.  And not just for Arie.  For all of us.  Cut to the chase already, Emily, you're making a lot of people suffer through this!  You're really going to let him put fake love potion all over your arms?  STOP THE SUFFERING! I BEG OF YOU!
- Bringing Arie back during the After the Final Rose was even more painful.  Really, Emily?  Telling the dude to leave his journal at the door and then never reading it?  Ouch!  Good thing you've got Jef to call Arie for you and give him some closure.  Jef, you're my hero.
-Best moment of the show- Jef somersaulting into the pool wearing pink goggles.
- Loved the proposal speech.  I don't care what you say, Jef is golden and I'm happy they're together.
- I am disappointed that they didn't get married today, even if only to say to all of you that I was right when I predicted it here.
-I want to go to Curacao.
- Chris Harrison is so obviously in love with Emily it's gross.  I don't know if it's harder to watch his heartbreak or Arie's.
-Arie for next bachelor?

Now... on to bigger and better things. The most exciting thing ever happened to me this weekend! There I was, eating lunch at the soup and salad joint in town. Hubs and I were just getting up to leave when a boy came over and said, "Excuse me, are you Bonnie?" In those few seconds, my mind was racing fast trying to figure out how I knew the kid. I studied his face, I racked my little brain, but ALAS, nothing was coming!!  In less than two seconds I had determined that I had never seen this boy before in my life.

"Uh... yes... I'm Bonnie."
"Oh, my friend, Madison, over there. She reads your blog and she recognized you. You should go say hi."

So I did. Hubs and I went and said hi. There was a whole group of young uns chowing down on their clam chowder. I didn't really know what to say, "So... you read my blog, eh? So I guess that means you know I'm a reality TV addict and that I steal underwear from Victoria's Secret? Cool.  Welp.  See you later." Of course I didn't say that.  I don't know what I said, I just know that I was extremely awkward and weird and didn't know what to say or do.  Then, do you know what that sweet thing, Madison, said to me?!? She said, "It's so cool to meet you!  You're like famous!"

DID YOU HEAR THAT?!? I'M LIKE FAMOUS!!

Madison, if you are out there, reading this somewhere in the vast universe, know this. I love you. And I love you for saying that. With all my awkward little heart.

As soon as we were out of the restaurant, I couldn't help but jump up and down, "I'm famous, Hubs! Did you hear that? I'm famous!" Hubs rolled his eyes and said not to let it go to my head.

TOO LATE!

I was living high for about 24 hours, getting used to the life of a famous person. Wow, I thought, this is how old Kim Kardashian must feel like! I'm going to start having to go out in disguise so the paparazzi doesn't pummel me!  Soon people will be asking for my autograph! Good bye to my days of casual public dining!  This life of a celebrity is certainly going to be difficult.

Then. This afternoon, my Uncle Glen brought everything back down to earth for me. "I hear you've got a blog, Bonnie?" "I do," I replied. "Yah, people tell me I should read it. But I just never do."

Nothing like an honest uncle to put you in your place, huh?

And so, my friends, I guess we have all learned a valuable lesson here today.  Everyone's days of fame and fortune must come to an end.  One day you're in the limelight, the next you are falling into obscurity.  My fame was shortlived, but boy, was it awesome.  Thank you, Madison, for this incredible journey you have taken me on.

I will never forget you.

She's a sell out!!!

Sponsor Life of Bon in August!

Can't you see I'm a real hard worker, people!?!

I've got a few medium spots left open for August.  Snag them quick before they go.  You're going to want to sponsor Life of Bon sooner rather than later because (spoiler alert) prices are likely to go up soon.  BOO!  I know!  Throw eggs!  BOO!  Bon's a sell out!

But seriously.  Check out my sponsor page for more details and send me an email at lifeofbon@gmail.com.  Can't wait to hear from you!

MWAH!

SHHH!!! We're in a library for crying out loud!

Lately I've been spending a bit o time at the good ole public library.  This is because my computer is slow and the library's computers are fast.  Simple enough?

I'll clue you in to a couple of things here- the folk that habitually use the public computers at the library are an interesting folk.  You've got young and old, black and white, bond and free.  Perfect for people watching. Not so good for people-be-quiet!  I'm used to going to the BYU library where everyone is very uptight about being quiet.  I guess I took the silence for granted.  Compared to my alma mater's library, this place sounds like a freaking rock concert.  People are answering their phones, getting in arguments, and screaming profanities at their neighbors.  No, this is not BYU.

While at the library I've overheard a couple of gems.  Please, so we can all have a better day, allow me to share those with you.

An abnormally skinny, high strung lady shouting into her phone, "Eighty six dollars?!?  You think I owe you eighty six dollars?!?  ARE YOU SMOKING SOMETHING?!?"

A kid was humming while playing a video game and obviously wasn't aware that he was humming loud enough to distract everybody.  The old man sitting next to him gave him several crusties and even asked the librarian if she could see about "turning down the music."  The librarian had no idea what he was talking about.  Finally the old man looked at the kid and said, "Pardon me... can you stop making that concert?!?"  The kid stopped humming.

A man with a long beard and an Italian accent on the phone, "Can you believe it?  The guy keeps calling me because he wants to fight with me about religion!  I don't even know a thing about religion!"

A teenage girl shouting on the phone loud enough for the entire library to hear, "Dad!  What's my password?!  I'm trying to log into my hotmail account and YOU changed the password!  BLT bomb?!?  Why in the @%*$ did you change my password to that?!"

And of course, I can't forget this gem.  I can only hope my kids will go out in public with hair like this:

You guys ever overhear weird things in libraries?  Or other public venues?  Do tell, Do tell!

Read here for other precious things overheard in computer labs.

I have a theory!

Come one, come all, to the fabulous dumping of pictures!  It's been a busy week for Bon and Hubs and I guess we could say the painting job has been all but neglected.  

Oops.

But that doesn't matter because I was having fun with Hubs!

Also, while we're on the subject of Hubs, he is requesting that we all refer to him from now on as "Sir Hubs."  What think ye fellow friends?  I said no because he is not a sir and he said he is because he was knighted but, Hello, I think we all know that is a lie!  When would Hubs have had time to get knighted?  Then he suggested Captain Hubs and I said that's way too cheesy even for me. He came up with Private Hubs next, but then he shut that one down himself, deciding that it might open the door for too many dirty jokes.

And so he's back to pushing for Sir Hubs.  Please, for my sake, tell him he must give up on this idea!!  I don't' think I would be able to live with myself if I referred to my husband as Sir Hubs.  And I'm pretty sure you'd all stop reading this blog.

Before I dump endless pictures of you, I've got a suspicion about Sunday's finale of The Bachelorette.  Hear me out on this one.  Emily is going to marry Jef.  On Sunday.  Instead of The After the Final Rose ceremony they are going to shock us all with a live wedding.  Except me.  I won't be shocked because I followed the clues and cracked the code like the true detective I was born to be.  (Also, Hubs has the audacity to say that I am "obsessed" with Jef.  Rude!  It's not like I ever talk or write about him!  Only here  here here and here!)

Reasons I believe Jef and Emily are getting married on Sunday:

1.  The finale is on a Sunday, not a Monday like it always is.

2.  Emily and Brad had wanted to do an on air wedding instead of the after the final rose ceremony, but Emily still had too many doubts with Brad so they didn't.

3.  At the Men Tell All Chris H. said, "I'd ask how you're doing with your man, but no, everybody will just have to wait until Sunday."  If it were a normal scenario, why wouldn't he just ask her?

4.  Emily loves attention and loves spotlight and she seems pretty fond of money so it would totally be just like her to have ABC pay her to get married on TV.

5.  The premiere of the finale was edited to indicate that Emily chooses no one.  But she seemed so gosh darn happy at the Men Tell All.  The woman was practically emitting butterflies and rainbows!  I think we all know the season didn't end badly for her.

6.  They edited the premiere to look like Emily chooses no one to throw off smarties like me from figuring out that they are getting married.  But I am much too wise to be deterred by those ABC editors.  And on Sunday, when Jef and Emily DO get married, you all owe me $100.  Deal?

And now.... PHOTO DUMPING...

I went down to the Shakespearean festival in Cedar City with my mom, sisters, and sisters-in-law.  Conversations included all things that only women would enjoy talking about.  I kept thinking some man was going to barge in and make us change the topic because he was bored, but no man was there!  So we talked on and on and on about all things that women love.  We talked three hours down, three hours back, and even stayed up until 2 am just chatting!  Sometimes it's just good to be with the girls.  Although, heavens knows, I did miss Sir Hubs.

Only one little mishap in Cedar City- a dead battery.  We stopped a stranger to help us and later found out it was my sister's husband's brother.  SMALL FREAKING WORLD!

Back from Cedar City and up to the cabin to celebrate Hubs' birthday.  The old man turned 24.  Here's my birthday tribute to him if you missed it.

He makes this face when he pretends he's blind.  Please don't take offense.

I got Hubs a new wedding ring for his birthday because the old Sir Somebody lost the first one, but I won't embarrass Sir Somebody by saying his actual name but I think we are all following, right?  Now I can once again establish Hubs as MY TERRITORY.  Isn't that what wedding rings are for?

Gearing up the fishing poles.

I caught a couple of fish myself but had to stop because I was inflicting too much pain on the innocent things.  Somehow I always managed to catch the fish so that  they swallowed the hooks.  Getting a hook out of a fish's stomach while its bloody guts come spilling out is... oh you want me to stop?  Ok.  But I think you get my drift.

The highlight of the week was this morning when my best friend, Akasha, stopped by with her three little kids in tow.  They are moving from Pittsburgh to Los Angeles and stopped in Utah to say hi.  These are her two youngest kids- they are less than a year apart.  Now Hubs is in a mad fit of baby hunger and I have no idea how to cure it.  Ideas?

I know what you're thinking.
"What is going on with your hair, Bon Bon?!?"

I wish I had an answer for you, I really do.