The Life of Bon: The Man Reconsidered

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Man Reconsidered

I might be wrong about the man. I thought Kim was the man. Kim is the overweight forty year old woman who has worked at the restuarant for nine years. She has been helping me with any questions I have. All day today Kim kept telling me what to do and how to do it and wouldn't shut up about how it had to be done this certain way. I was becoming so frustrating and in my head was planning all sorts of ways to stick it to her. "Want me to show you a trick how to put all the lids on the kids' jellos really fast?" Kim asked me. And then I realized. Kim is not the man. She is not even close to the man- she just works for him. She has been slaving away for the man her entire life and she doesn't even know it. I am jealous of Kim because she is so content working at the same restaurant for nine years and she does everything exactly how it is supposed to be and never questions. She doesn't even know the man exists, and even if she did, she wouldn't care. She likes the man. She is not an over-analyzer and she simply doesn't care if someone tells her to wash the lemons twice. She doesn't doubt, she just does what she is told. I wonder if I wouldn't be so much happier in life if, like Kim, I just accepted the man and stopped spending my life trying to stick it to him. I have become an incredible ham in the restaurant. I say the cheesiest, lamest things to people. What's worse, I use the same lines over and over. Any time a cute old couple orders the exact same thing I say with a big smile, "Well you are just two peas in a pod, aren't you!" and they laugh and think it's nice and tell me that they've been married for two hundred years. I can't help using the same line over and over again because I always get such a reaction from it. And I always mean it when I say the whole peas in a pod thing- it is cute how old people just sort of mold into one another and always order the same thing. But in any case, I just wish I could stop saying that dumb cheesy line and think of a new one.


  1. Anonymous11:41 AM

    you'll never really be able to "stick it to the man." You can spend your whole life trying, but just give up now. It's never going to happen.

  2. Anonymous6:03 PM

    Give up, it's futile. There's no hope.

    See, I can do it too!