The Life of Bon: No purchase necessary.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

No purchase necessary.

About a month ago, McDonald's made what I viewed as a terrible mistake. They printed a coupon in the BYU newspaper, "The Daily Universe." One free smoothie. No purchase necessary. No. Purchase. Necessary.

My little sister called to inform me of the good news and suggested that we meet up at... Hmmm... Lets say McDonalds... later on in the day. I agreed. My sis kifed dozens of newspapers from that day so we could have an endless supply of free smoothies. I let my roommate know, who was still on campus, and she loaded up as well on the newspapers. Between the three of us, we probably had 50 smoothie coupons. Yes. We win.

Now here's the deal... McDonalds was making a huge mistake. Stupid fast food restuarant. They don't know jack crap about marketing. You can't print a coupon with NO PURCHASE NECESSARY and expect to make any money. What idiots. BYU students, especially me and my smart little friends, were going to give them a run for their money, use and abuse the system, and make McDonalds regret ever having printed that dumb coupon. Every day. Free smoothie. And after the coupons run out, if you think we're going to pay full price for one of those little smoothies, you've got another thing coming for you, McDonald's. We aren't. We won't. Ever. Pay full price.

So we met up at McDonalds later that day as planned. And here's the deal. Even though I didn't HAVE to buy anything to use the coupon, once inside the restaurant I really really wanted French fries. And I figured since I wasn't paying for the smoothie, paying for French fries wasn't going to hurt me, right?

Three weeks ago, my sister wanted to hang out. And of all the places to get together, where do you think we chose? McDonalds, of course, to use the free coupons. Only she was hungry for real food. So she bought a burger and a wrap.

Last week I convinced a group of four or five to go to get free smoothies, my treat with the surplus of coupons I have. Well, they were out of smoothies. But we were all in the mood now for something delicious. So we all bought ice cream cones.

Three days ago me and my friend rolled into Mickey D's for some smoothies. I discovered I didn't have the coupons with me. So we couldn't get smoothies. Only we were now already craving something. And we were already at McDonalds. So even though its not my favorite place to eat, we were already we might as well get something to eat, right? And we blew money on food from McDonalds.

And that's when I came to the realization. McDonalds got the best of me. I did not take advantage of them, i did not use and abuse, I did not rape, pillage, and destroy the system like I had planned. No. McDonalds had used and abused ME!!! Not once did I plan on spending money at that freaking restaurant. Not once did I ever really even want to eat McDonalds food. But I did. Every time. Even with that stupid "No purchase necessary" printed so clearly to see on every coupon.

Fine, McDonald's. You win. You always do.


  1. Oh Bonnie, I am so in love with you! At least after all of that work you still got SOME free food, right? :)

  2. So funny! You are a great writer Bonnie! I'm always excited when I see you've done a new post because I always enjoy them. :) i hope you saved one of those coupons for me!

  3. gross. i hate mcdonald's. but i love free stuff, so give me some of those coupons girl.

  4. Dennis and I ate at McDonald's yesterday. The hamburger was barely edible. Stupid McDonald's.