The Life of Bon: So long Sizzler

Monday, September 13, 2010

So long Sizzler

For the past four and a half years I have worked at Sizzler. Pathetic, I know, to spend that much time at a restaurant. In my defense I did take a religious sabbatical of sorts... and a four month vacation/ "semester" to Hawaii... but still, I have put in way too many hours at the Sizzler in Provo. And now, with a full time teaching job career under way I guess it's time I say goodbye officially and forever to my favorite little ghetto white trash restaurant.

Here are some favorite memories:

- One Saturday afternoon I didn't want to work my shift because all of my girlfriends were having fun without me and I wanted to join in. I told my manager that I wasn't feeling well and could I go home? He replied, "Yah, you look like s***. You better go home." I was feeling fine.

- Once I was taking a very large woman to a table when she insisted on sitting in a booth. I hadn't given her the booth option because...well... she was huge. "Uh... the tables are much more convenient for getting up and down" I tried to convince her. "No! I want a booth! They're more comfortable." So I took her to a booth. And watched awkwardly and she tried to shove herself and her mammoth bosoms into the tight space between the bench and the seat. Finally, several unsuccessful mintues later she gave in, "I guess I'll have a table."

- A lady ran up to me one night in a panic telling me she needed a plastic bag because her sick friend in a motorized wheelchair was going to puke any minute. The friend was ridiculously overweight. Rolls were hanging over her. Her face was lost in the enormity of her cheeks and neck. There were hairs on her chin. I got the bag, watched as the lady wheeled on over to a different part of my section, puked, and then brought me back the vomit filled bag to put in the garbage. When I came back out of the server station, she was back at the salad bar loading up on food. Wait... weren't you not feeling well? Didn't you just puke up all your food...?

- One lady was so rude to me the whole night, throwing out demeaning comments and acting like I was an idiot. She went up to the front to ask for her waitress and when the manager asked what the waitress's name was she replied, "I don't know! Piece of sh**!" The manager said, "No... really... what was her name?" "Brooke or something like that. She has a pink streak!" They figured out it was me that was the server, so I went out to the table to try to help her out. She chewed me out for five minutes, told me how to do my job, put me in my place (given at this point I probably deserved it because I was completely ignoring them because they were so rude). At the end of the night I brought her a comment card that we are required to give all of our tables. Instead of putting my name, Bonnie, I put "Brooke." Yah, I'm a smart A. She called and complained that night. The next morning I had a nice long lecture. Almost lost my job over that one.

- An hour into one of my shifts I realized I wasn't wearing any underwear. I was supposed to work a double that day- 11 am to 9 pm. We weren't busy yet so I asked my manager if I could go home to put some underwear on and come back. He told me to just go home. Score.

- The Mexican cook surprise kissed me outside the side door on the cheek. He asked me to go to Mexico with him. When I asked him what we would do for work, he replied, "Work in a hotel in Cancun." Wow. You are Romantic, Juan! Nothing sounds more heavenly than running away to Mexico with you and working in a hotel! Later I found out he was married with kids. Figures.

- Some couple from California was in Provo for a Nuskin conference. They came in every day while they were in town and for some reason fell madly in love with me. They tried to set me up with their son. They tried to recruit me for NuSkin. She tried to convince me to work at Sizzler in Cali. She took pictures of me and then sent them to me months later postmarked from Southern California. It was weird.

- Mothers Day everyone had to work so to make up for it, the managers bought a bunch of food for everyone and put it in the break room. When my shift was over, me and my BFF who worked with me filled sacks with the mothers Day treats and booked it out of the restaurant. Some other server saw us and ratted us out. The managers called and we had to return hours later with all of the stolen goods and apologize. Almost lost my job over that one.

- Dated a boy from work. I wouldn't suggest it, unless you're good at getting boys to break up with you twice, feel bad, and do all your work for you... in which case you might want to look into it.

- I was taking three people to a table, an old lady and a young couple. I showed them their spot and said, "Is this okay?" Everyone looked confused. The old lady began to sit down. The couple looked at her. Then at me. Back at her. Back to me. "Uh... she's not with us..." The old lady, looked around, also confused, and then wandered off. Minutes later another server in the station was staying, "My table can't find their grandma! They have no idea where she went..." HA!

- My last shift working before my mission, the stupid closing server wouldn't check me off. He kept making me get on my hands and knees to pick up my crumbs. He told me I was probably going to half a** my mission just like I half a**ed my work at Sizzler. I walked out without doing any more of my closing work or checking out with a manager. I would have lost my job over that one if I wasn't already quitting. (I didn't exactly think I would have to come crawling back to them for a job 18 months later...)

- Best tip: $22 from an old couple who ordered a $10 meal... It's not that impressive, I know. I don't know why I never racked in those $50-$100 tips that other servers made.

- Worst tip: (Aside from the countless no tippers?) $1 from seven huge Navajo men who all had steak and all you can eat shrimp and kept me running all night. After that I refused to take another table of Navajos. You can call me racist. I call myself smart.

- Total hours spent at Sizzler: 2,500- 2,700.

- Total money in my apron at the end of three years: $40,500. Crazy to think of 40 Gs in one and five dollar bills left out on tables, huh?

So, thanks Sizzler for putting me through school, taking me to Hawaii to study, help paying for my mission, paying my rent, buying my clothes, and thank you now, for being a part of my past... and not part of my future.


  1. HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh bonnie!! I just laughed out loud for like twenty minutes straight! Working at Sizzler really was a unique expereince! Those stories illustrate that restaurant perfectly! I forgot about us stealing the candy from Mother's day! Why did we get in trouble for that again?! Didn't we just work our butts off for like 10 hours straight?! You forgot to mention all the times we almost got fired for not rolling/stealing silverware!

    P.S You made bank working at the Sizz! I have to one up you though by mentioning that $100 tip I got from that creepy old man! hahaha good times! :)

  2. I have no idea what to say to most of this. Except that I love you anyway. :)

  3. Bonnie, you are one of the most colorful people I know. And yes, I used colorful because I knew you would question what I meant by that.

  4. hahah. I love when that lady threw up in a bag and gave it to you. I forgot that that happened. I will do this post one day... eventually... in the somewhat distant future. freaking sizzler.

  5. Um... I came to check out your blog and...NOTHING. Come on, Bonnie. Quit slacking and post already! PS. i love you.