Today wasn't supposed to be a book review day. But it is.
So I hope you like books!
Last weekend I had to stop at the local bookstore (and by that I mean Barnes and Noble. But doesn't it sound so much more quaint and romantic to say local bookstore?!?) to pick up a copy of Silver Linings Playbook which we are reading for the Bon's Book Club in May. (If you haven't picked your copy up yet, get on it!) While I was there I got quite lost, as I always do in bookstores. I wandered from book shelf to table to easy chair to book shelf. Is there anything so magical as getting lost in a book store? An hour later I realized I was 30 minutes late for an engagement party and was buried deep in several different books. raced to get out of there, but the book I couldn't stand to leave behind was The Happiness Project. I was on a strict "No spend April" but I justified it, as I always do for much wanted items, and before I knew it I was headed out of the bookstore with not one, but two books.
I told myself I had to read Silver Linings Playbook first because I have a deadline since we are discussing it May 30. Confession: I read only two pages before I was yearning for Happiness Project. It's not that I didn't like Silver Linings... I was just so immersed with Happiness Project that I decided then and there I would have to finish it before I dared read anything else.
The author describes her project as this. She's not depressed. She's not unhappy. She just realizes she could be happier. According to studies, 50% of our happiness depends on genetics, 10-20% of our happiness depends on our life situations, and the other 30-40% of our happiness depends on our own attitudes about life. Meaning we can, completely on our own, increase our happiness up to 40% if we make small changes in the way we live our life.
I have so many blessings and my life is filled to the brim with joy and peace. So why do I get ornery? Why do I snap at my little sister? Why do I focus on stress and anxiety instead of the plethora of blessings that surround me?
Here are some specific things I would like to change about me:
1. I get annoyed with people too easily. I feel like if I were happier I would have more tolerance for people who are prone to get on my nerves.
2. I complain too much. I usually try to stop myself, but sometimes before I even realize what is happening I have been complaining for 30 straight minutes and I only feel worse for it.
3. I let myself be overwhelmed by the negative, instead of focusing on the positive. Why do we always seem to focus on the one thing in our life that is going wrong instead of allowing ourselves to enjoy the hundreds of things that are going right?
The concept of the book is fascinating. The author decides to focus each month on a goal that is going to bring her more happiness. I have gotten through only January and February, but it is seriously all I can do to not stop writing this post write now and bury myself in the book. January she focuses on goals that will give her more energy- going to sleep earlier, exercising, decluttering the house, etc. February she focuses on goals that will improve her marriage- showing more appreciation, quitting nagging, and fighting right. I feel like I have learned so much from this book already and it makes me so much more aware of my mood and the attitude I am giving off to others.
Stuff I keep thinking about:
-I have fallen into the category of those people who are often less considerate of their spouses than other people. I will make Greg wait instead of making other people wait. I will complain more to Greg, be harsher on Greg, and get annoyed with Greg more than I will perfect strangers. Interesting that I choose to treat Greg this way when I love him more than anyone in the world. Time to switch this one around.
-"There is no love, only proofs of love." Basically what this means is that if we aren't showing our love, then there is no evidence that the love is there. We can't just assume people know we care about them, we have to constantly show it. If we love someone we need to tell them, do acts of service for them, listen to them when they need it. If I am not showing Greg (or others... this expands to all relationships in life) my love then there is no love.
- Stop expecting praise for my work or for Greg to suddenly want to help out with whatever I'm doing. If I decide to clean out the closets it's because I'm doing it for me. Not for Greg. That way I don't feel resentful if he doesn't immediately praise me for how clean the closet is or volunteer his services. Working out is for me. Cooking healthy dinners is for me. Blogging is for me. It's okay if Greg doesn't do back flips when I do these things because they are not for him and if I realize I am doing all these things for me then I don't have to be frustrated with Greg for not helping out more with things that are entirely my decision.
-Don't postpone anything that can be done in less than a minute. This helps with general clutter and cleanliness and keeping on top of all the little tasks we have to do. Hanging up clothes, replacing the toilet paper, cleaning out a cereal bowl- those can all be done in less than a minute and so should be done immediately.
-"Make a list, do a little bit each day, stay calm." I loved this line from the book because I feel like it especially pertains to my stage of life right now as I am frantically trying to apply for jobs in California, get my California certification, run a growing blog, and finish up a successful school year. It's all about doing a bit every day and just staying calm.
I've rambled on long enough and I'm determined to get 7-8 hours a night of sleep so I'm signing off. (According to the book "a bad night's sleep was one of the top two facts that upset people's daily moods... sleep deprivation impairs memory, weakens the immune system, slows metabolism, and might, some studies suggest, foster weight gain." Wowzers! I'm learning so much!) I suspect I will be writing much more about this book as I'm only 62 pages and already I feel like it is life changing. I encourage you to read it, if you haven't already and then tell me about it! Maybe I'll have to choose it for a 2014 Bon's Book Club read because it really is phenomenal.
Have any of you read it? What did you think? Other similar books I should try out? I've got a big portion of my summer set aside for nothing but reading! :)
