Well, I'll be darned!

I'm just going to go ahead and say it.

Summer can't last forever.

This week was the week that I had to go back to work. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were days chalked full of meetings, trainings, and more meetings.  It wasn't until late Friday afternoon that I had a bit of time on my own. I returned to my classroom which I had so happily abandoned that first week of June.  I booted up the old computer and checked out my class rolls for next year.

This year my school is starting something called arena scheduling where the students choose their own teachers and their own class periods.  They build their own schedules, very similar to how most of us probably picked out classes in college.   Once a class is full, it is full, and students can no longer register for it.  What this basically means is that any student who is in my class is a student who has deliberately chosen to be in my class.  I am teaching classes of sophomores, juniors, and seniors.  My junior and senior classes will have students who I have already taught before as lower classman.  I wouldn't be speaking figuratively if I said that my jaw dropped when I saw my class lists. 

Of course there were the kids who I would expect to enroll in the class again- the A students, the teacher pets, the students who laughed at my every joke.  But then there were a few that just straight up shocked me.  Students who I was sure hated me, who were counting down the days until they could be free from my obnoxious teaching.  Just a few shockers on my rolls for next year:

- A boy who maybe said three words the entire year.  He didn't complete one assignment.  He failed all four quarters.  Every time I tried to talk to him after class about his grades he would look straight down and just nod or mutter one word responses.  I absolutely could not reach him.  Toward the end of the year he told me he didn't care to pass English and my energy would be better spent on kids who care.

- A kid who literally slept every day in my class.  Literally.  Every day.

-A girl who I had to tell numerous times to pull up her top because of cleavage.  It got so bad that one day that I sent her down to the principal's office for a new shirt to cover her up.  She stared ice daggers into my soul that day.

-A painfully shy boy who cried silent tears when I pulled him out to the hall and told him he wouldn't be receiving credit on his test because I had caught him cheating.  I thought for sure I had humiliated him to the point of no return.

-This kid who told me to "F off" when I took away his cell phone.

-A girl that I caught blatantly lying to me.  I called home to tell her parents about it.  She didn't sepak to me for a month after that.

-A girl who begged me to let her hand in an extra project so that she could pass the class.  I said no because she hadn't done all of the regular credit assignments in the class.  She stormed out of the classroom and muttered curse words under her breath.  She failed the class.

-A kid who told me point blank that he thinks all the projects that I assign are lame and the books we read are boring.

-A boy who tried to transfer out of my class mid year but couldn't, due to a fluke in the counselling system.

I feel like there is some kind of lesson to be learned in this, even though I'm not quite sure what it is.  Something about not knowing the effect that we are having on others even when it appears that we not making a difference.  All of these students I was certain I would never see again, that I had not reached them, that I had not met their needs.  I thought I had failed these students.  That I hadn't been a good enough teacher for them- that they hated me, that I had bored them, that I had treated them unfaily.  And yet they have voluntarily chosen to be in my class again.  I guess when it comes down to it, we really can't tell how big the impact is that we unknowingly have on others. 

And that is enough to make me all sorts of excited to start another year.

iCRAZY- how does the internet affect your life?

Have you read this article on the effect of the internet on our lives?

If not, I recommend you do so.

I have been thinking some deep stuff lately.  Mostly about life and time and the way I use my time and what my life consists of.  I spend a lot of time online, especially this summer.  I've got some big goals with this blog and those goals require a lot of time on the internet.  A lot.   Naturally, I tend to wonder what the effect of so much time online is.

Last week I wrote a post on the pros and cons of blogging.  I talked about how much I love the blogging "community" but how I also feel a certain pressure to measure up to other bloggers.  I mentioned that I fear the blogging is not "real" and doesn't accurately portray real people.  The response to this post was phenomenal!  There were so many bloggers and women who added their two cents-  so many genuine responses, and if you haven't read up on them yet, well what are you waiting for?!?

This whole thing has been on my mind ever since, so when I saw this cover of Newsweek, my interest was immediately piqued.  I read.

Interesting things I learned in the article:

-The average American spends at least 8 hours a day looking at a screen.  Americans spend more time doing this than any other thing, including sleeping.

-More than a third of smartphone users get online before even getting out of bed in the morning.  (Are you guilty of this?  I know I am!)

-The average person, regardless of age, sends and receives 400 texts a month.  Teenagers send and receive 3,700 texts a month.

-The internet and mobile technology can help contribute to insanity.

-The more time online, the more the brain showed signs of “atrophy.”

-The brain of a person who is addicted to drugs and alcohol looks the same as a brain that is addicted to the internet.

-An article in the journal Pediatrics noted the rise of “a new phenomenon called ‘Facebook depression,’?” and explained that “the intensity of the online world may trigger depression.”  (Reminds me a lot of the "blogger effect"- not feeling as good as everyone else because of their seemingly perfect lives.)

 -Children describe mothers and fathers unavailable in profound ways, present and yet not there at all. “Mothers are now breastfeeding and bottle-feeding their babies as they text,”  said the article.

- The effect on high schoolers- adolescents who are still so malleable is especially profound.  According to the article, "This evaporation of the genuine self also occurred among the high-school- and college-age kids she interviewed. They were struggling with digital identities at an age when actual identity is in flux. “What I learned in high school,” a kid named Stan told Turkle, “was profiles, profiles, profiles; how to make a me.” It’s a nerve-racking learning curve, a life lived entirely in public with the webcam on, every mistake recorded and shared, mocked until something more mockable comes along."

- The article ends by saying this:  "…all of us, since the relationship with the Internet began, have tended to accept it as is, without much conscious thought about how we want it to be or what we want to avoid. Those days of complacency should end. The Internet is still ours to shape. Our minds are in the balance."

I'm not exactly sure what is meant by "The Internet is still ours to shape."  I did, however, read a quote by Marjorie Hinckley that really helped me put things in perspective.  She says this: 

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."

This helped me to think about my ultimate goals in life- strong faith, strong marriage, and strong family.  And I thought about how the internet is either contributing or not contributing to that.  I came up with a few ideas of things I could do to help "shape" the internet and these are them:

- Stay true to myself on my blog.
- Keep some things private.  There are some details of my life readers will never know about online.  There are triumphs, happinesses, fears, and insecurities I just won't give to the internet.  There is information I have that is personal and sacred, and I am going to keep this that way.
- Keep track of the amount of time I spend online.  Allow myself a certain amount, but when the time is done, get off.
-Make sure I am spending more face to face time with my loved ones than internet time.

How about you?  Does this trend of the internet seeping into every little part of our lives worry you?  Those of you with children, do you think it is important to monitor their time online, and if so, how do you do so?  Do you see the internet's growing pervasiveness in our lives as a threat?  Is it something you worry about or is it all being blown out of proportion?