Is anyone out there?
Hi, my name is Bonnie. I used to have a blog. Well, I do have a blog. I mean, the blog is still here. I used to write on my blog. I then took an announced and unplanned two week break from writing on that blog.
Here's the thing about missing a day writing on your blog. It makes it a little easier to miss the next day. The next day even easier. By the time you hit day five or six you figure no one in the world will ever notice you were gone.
There's some reasons I haven't been writing as much- some I can tell you, some I cannot. (Oh, don't you loooooooooove/ hate that aura of mystery?)
The reasons I CAN tell you are these:
1) We are working on an expansion of Hey June that has been very exciting and very fun for us. It has taken up alot of my energy. BUT we've run into a lot of problems. We were hoping to launch said expansion at the beginning of June but it keeps getting pushed back and now I don't know when/ if it'll happen. I'm trying to be happy and believe in good things to come and not get worked up over stuff over which I have no control. IT IS NOT EASY, PEOPLE.
2) It is summer and this is the first summer that it feels like June really gets what is going on. I have been selfish with my time with her. I want her all day every day. We go to the pool, we build campfires, we go to the park, we play play play. It blows my mind how fast she is growing up, how fast she is learning and changing and becoming not my baby anymore. I'm trying to jun this time with hern. A teaching friend, whose kids are raised and grown, told me at the end of the year luncheon, "You only get 18 summers with them" and this hit me in the sharp, sad way that passing comments like that sometimes can. This is summer #2 and we're making it worth something.
This is a paddle boat and the water is literally two feet deep. Hence, no life jackets.
Takes her diaper off ten times a day.
3) My sister, who has lived internationally for most of my adult life, and out of state for the past 13 years, is back from Germany for the summer. She will be here until August and then she'll head to Spain or maybe Washington DC or wherever the army decides to send her. I hate having her live so far away, but I love going to visit her, so you win some you lose some. Since she's been here the last several weeks I have been spending much more time with her and with family.
4) I have felt a bit insecure with my blog lately. Mostly like I can't keep up. It's really exciting to watch people who are doing this blog/ small business thing with me be crazily successful. But when I'm not feeling my best self it can be overwhelming and sad, and I am wrought with jealousy. I am not that good at taking picture and my instagram is not the aesthetic treasure trove that I feel like it needs to be to keep up with my blogging peers. Every time I hear the word periscope I feel slight anxiety because I still don't know what it is, and I can't bring myself to invest in it when I just figured out snapchat. When I apply for campaigns and I'm not chosen for them, I feel a quick stab of rejection and failure. Sometimes I imagine internet strangers who hate me reading my blog posts and rolling their eyes and finding more ways to hate me. I don't know what the secret is to millions of followers or the secret to millions of online sales. I don't have either of those things, but I HAVE ENOUGH, and sometimes I lose sight of that. I think I needed some space away from my blog and from the internet to recenter and refocus. I do love my blog. I love to write. I love the community that is here. This blog has become a part of me these past five (FIVE?!) years and it has been our saving grace during our tough times this past year. I don't know that I could ever give up the blog (at least not in the foreseeable future) but I think I didn't realize how much I needed a break until 2 days suddenly turned into 2 weeks. Thank you for allowing me that space and still sticking around.
AND... that's a wrap. I'll be back this week! Back with a Bachelor recap and a tale of potty training failure if you're lucky. Hold onto your butts!
P.S. Hey June is having our June celebration sale (We love June!) Everything in the shop is 20% off using code JUNE20 through Wednesday, June 22.