Well, folks. I've discovered some very alarming facts about myself and my body. That body ain't doin for me what it used to do for me, and that's why we are going to talk today about BODY IMAGE because I'm having some issues!
FIRST OFF: My fingernails are as ugly as they come. Given, this is because I bite them down to stubs. If they ever have nail polish on them, I bite all the nail polish off within two days. It's a nervous habit. Or more like a bored habit. When I have nothing to do, I unknowingly go to town on my nails. The only thing that seemed to semi help for about a week was shellac. But let's face it, ain't nobody got time to be getting a manicure every week. Or money, for that matter.
SECONDLY: Red lipstick.
I have been given a lot of guff in my day for donning the bright red lipstick. Greg teases me about it and says I can't kiss him when I'm wearing it because then everybody knows we been kissing. I told him I think they know already. The truth is I know Greg secretly likes the red lipstick. Or at least I tell myself he does so that I can still wear it whenever I want. My brothers teased me a whole lot when I first started wearing it big and bright but then they moved on to other, more important things- like the way I throw a basketball. The point is this. I might not rock the red lipstick like Emma Stone or T. Swift but I rock it in my own way and that's what's important! Confidence, people!
POINT NUMERO THREE:
It has come to my attention that my arm is totally messed up. Some would say disjointed. I noticed this when I was at the gym yesterday lifting weights. Actually, I just wanted to tell you all that I went to the gym. We can move on from this point.
No, but for reals, will you check out how messed up the arm on the right looks? This is confusing to write because technically isn't it my left arm? But it's on the right? The east arm...? Let's go with that. Check out the east arm. The non braceleted arm. Can you see how the elbow is totally pointing the wrong way? Look at the elbow compared to the wrist. That's not the way an arm is supposed to bend, am I right? And thank my lucky stars that Greg didn't notice this before we got married or heavens knows I never would have caught myself a mate!
Number four:
My lazy eye is getting worse. Please observe said picture.
I've always had a lazy eye. I accepted it when I was eight and a half. But the other day I was curling my hair, no big deal, staring in the mirror and I started thinking, "Man, what the freak is up with my eyes?" Then I started to wonder... is this the permanent state of my eyes?! Is one always smaller than the other? Is my natural resting face that of such a total and utter creepster?
I hope you understand where I'm coming from, guys. These are the things that keep me up at night. That, and the fact that my second toe is growing larger than my big toe. But the fact is I don't think I'm getting another body so I figure... love the one you're with, you know? It's me and this body for another 60 years or so I might as well get on loving it.
Glad we had this talk. I feel so much better.
