The Life of Bon: No title because that would require thinking.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

No title because that would require thinking.

These are six of my nine AP students.  I adore them.

It is 9:12 and at not a minute later than 9:30 I am hitting publish on this bad boy and then I am turning off the light and going to BED even though it's not even all the way dark yet.  I'm going to write and write as fast as I can and vomit up all the stress that's floating around in my head and make you internet-ians read it and hopefully I can just give all my stress away to you.

It turns out that there is a limit to how many things you can do at one time.  I didn't think there was.  I thought it was possible to:
1) End the school year and give grades to 200 students including 150 seniors who need to graduate and who need the fourth quarter credit in my class specifically to graduate.
2) Close on a house and therefore qualify for a loan and therefore somehow conjure up from out of the dust every inane semi official document I have ever had in your life. (Like Greg's transcripts... why in the world do they need a copy of Greg's college transcripts?  To qualify for a loan?  I'll tell you this much- he didn't make money while sitting in those classes!)
3) Prepare to leave the day after school gets out for a trip to Germany to see my sister.  Greg and I decided last week to ditch the idea of sneaking away to Amsterdam for a few days and instead we're going to go to Prague.  Yea!  How fun!  But now someone has to plan it!  And book a place to stay!
4) Keep a blog and business up and running.  If I never returned an email to you, this is my official apology.  I am trying!  And to everyone who ever reads my blog, this is my apology for crazy posts that I am typing as fast as I can and not even reading through.  Sometimes mediocrity is good enough.
5) Be eight months pregnant and go in for extra doctor's visits and ultrasounds to make sure baby is growing like she's supposed to.
6) Have Greg's brother and sister-in-law come in from out of town to visit for four days and try to sneak in some quality time with them.
7) Make necessary arrangements for long term sub in the fall and fill out all the paper work for sick leave and fmla all that exciting jazz.

I thought it was possible!  I thought all of that was possible!  All seven things!  At the same time!  Let's do this!  It's going to be fun!

It's not.  It's not fun at all.  It's insane and exhausting.  I am running myself into the damn ground this week.  I hate the glorification of busy.  I hate everything about this insane, out of control busy.  I need it to stoppppppppppppppp.

This afternoon I realized I had officially taken on more than any sane person can reasonable handle when I was trying to get a copy of my 2012 W2 form from my old school district.  I called them and asked if I could have a copy.  They said yes, come pick it up.  That's half an hour away.  I have exactly this afternoon and tomorrow, which is also my last day of work, to get all documents to the loan people and to get ready for Germany.  There is no hour to spare to run over to the district office to pick up a stupid W2 form from 2012.

"Can you email it to me?"  I asked.
"Well, yes, but it costs $5."
"That's totally fine.  How do I pay it?"
"You need to come in and pay it."
"I can't pay online?"
"No.  We don't have that option..."
"So that makes emailing it totally useless so I have to show up in person anyway."
"Yes.  I suppose so..."
"So there's no way I can get a copy of that without showing up in person with a five dollar bill to get it from you?"
"I'm afraid not..."

I almost started to cry.  Almost almost almost.  But I held it together because I've cried over some totally stupid things in my day, but crying over having to drive to pick up a W2 form might just take the cake and I couldn't stoop that low today.  I just couldn't.

I almost cried again when the loan guy emailed and said the copy of Greg's transcripts weren't clear enough and he needs a better copy.  (TRANSCRIPTS?!  Why, loan people, WHY?!?)

I almost cried when my fax didn't go through to the home owner's insurance people.

I almost cried when I went to pay rent and the lady said we were being slapped with a $35 fee for not switching the electric bill over to our name.  To which I said "You never told us" to which she said, "I have a copy of the paper we gave you that said you are required to switch the name on the account." To which I said, "Yes, but you never once said we would be charged $35 if we didn't and so you can't give us that fee if it does not ever appear in writing."  To which she said "Fine.  We'll take off the fee."  Sometimes it pays to be assertive and just a tad bit grumpy.

I almost cried when I had to be back at the school tonight at six for graduation.  They made all the teachers wear black robes and march on to the football stadium and sit for two hours in the hot sun while students gave speeches about how the best years of their lives were ending.  They're not the best years of your lives, I can promise you that.  It was miserable, but it went two hours instead of the three I was expecting and so I guess that's the silver lining?

Those are all the times I almost cried.

Then when I got home and collapsed into bed and started to write this post, just minutes ago, I got a text from our realtor.  "Can you meet tomorrow to finalize the decisions on the tile blacksplash and the granite?"

And that's when I did cry.  Real crying.  I am officially so busy I am crying.  That is pathetic.  I blame the child inside of me and the 200 seniors who made me grade all their writing and who asked me three weeks after the deadline if they could still make up a test/ write a paper/ read a book so that they can graduate.  I blame them all.

Now it's 9:32 and I'm going to sleep.

Oh, and if one more person has the audacity to ask me if I checked with my doctor and/or the airline if I can fly at this point in my pregnancy I am going to strangle them with their own hair.  Yes!  Yes I did! Of course I did!  What kind of an idiot do you think I am?  Who in the world books international flights at 33 weeks pregnant and never thinks to ok it with a doctor!?!?  I am smarter than this, people, and I am insulted by your question!

Rant over.  Sorry I'm grumpy.  Good night.

All pictures of students are used with written consent from both parent and student.


  1. The world could use a little more honesty, Bon. Enjoy your sleep!

  2. I freaking love you.

  3. Ohhhhhh girl. I feel you. Truly.

    Have a fun trip!!

  4. Bon, I'm sorry you are so stressed. In 48 hours you will be here with me! Don't worry about the shampoo and conditioner. And we can book a place for you in Prague when you get here! I'll help you! is awesome.

  5. Hi Bon, first I would like to tell you that I really love your writing. It makes me giggle quite a lot. I would like to laugh out loud from time to time but that would be a bit difficult at work :)
    And second I wish you a nice stay in Germany. I'm from Germany and last year a was on vacation in Utah so I'm really excited for you cause it's like switched positions (I hope that makes sense).
    Have a safe and super fun trip and all the best for you and your family!

  6. I personally am amazed that you're taking on and handling so much! While pregnant! If it was me, I doubt I'd have even got past the 3rd "almost cried" and just started the sob fest then.

    I hope things calm down and you have a great trip! Also, don't feel bad about breaking down, crying is cleansing and everyone should do it occasionally.

    Jenn | Business, Life & Design

  7. Girl, buying a house put me WAY past 'almost crying' about a dozen times, and I WASNT pregnant. Seriously, those people are crazy! I completely feel your pain about the transcripts, etc. Have a good trip!! :)

  8. This is incredible! Have the best trip ever!

  9. Have fun on your trip!! Do you still need help with picking up your W2? I can do it! Or I can go give them five bucks to have them email it to you :)

  10. Just reading this post made me want to cry from stress.

    Also, why are people so judge-y? Of course you would check on something like that!

  11. Hopefully your trip will be a much needed break! You guys will love Prague. It's amazing and the weather will be awesome for you guys.

  12. You poor thing. I think you need to the vacation! You deserve it because I honestly could not handle everything you are going through right now. Power to you girl!

  13. I cannot believe how idiotic that school was to say you have to come pay $5 IN PERSON to receive an email...crazies!!! Enjoy your trip and just take it day by day!!! You're totally rocking this!

  14. I am a firm believer in this is why we have blogs. So we can rant when we need to rant and get it out of our systems. And when I read these rants, it let's me know that it is normal to rant when your under pressure. I love your post.

  15. You are a darling, have fun on your trip!

  16. I work for a mortgage loan company and the amount of documents is freaking ridiculous! Its not the loan officer though its the underwriters and I think its their personal mission to make home buying pure freakin torture.

  17. I love your honest posts. well.. I guess they all are. Stuff like this makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'm not busy like you (ps can I help with anything?) but I have almost cried, and actually cried over stupid things this past 2 or 3 weeks. heaven help us! good luck, have fun in Germany and don't think about things you have to do back home. Enjoy your trip.

  18. Home ownership is stressful.... and tear worthy :P

  19. Enjoy the trip! And remember that when you're all settled into your fabulous house that you aren't paying rent on, that the tears will have been worth it. :-)

  20. I'm totally with you! We still haven't found a place to live in the fall, renting or buying. Justin still doesn't have a job. I still don't know who is going to take care of my son. I'm physically and mentally exhausted. And I'm still not done teaching till Friday. And I have to go to the Utah Core Academy for our English department for the next two weeks. I've had a few breakdowns already. You definitely are allowed one too!

  21. Some people handle stress well, I am not one of them. well I don't think I am but that said I don't get stressed out that much I am pretty laid back according to my family

  22. And that's just one of the reasons why I quit my job so soon into my pregnancy! I could never handle all this. Mad props!

  23. We are ex-military and have bought (and sold) many houses. You go ahead and cry. It is the most stressful process in the world. Absolutely horrible.

  24. Aw being stressed is horrible, I feel for you! I've had so many exams and social arrangements and i'm rushing to get coursework done for school. Maybe i'll be a bit more empathetic the next time my teacher makes me redo something or stay late, teachers are stressed too!