The Life of Bon: 9 Things I Don't Miss about Dating

Monday, October 19, 2015

9 Things I Don't Miss about Dating

It should come to no surprise to this blog world that I have a thing for reality tv.  I tell myself that I should enjoy intellectual and well written shows, but then I just can't tear myself away from the reality tv goodness!  I've been this way since I was practically a kid (I have vague memories of staying up late as a 12 year old watching "Average Joe" while my brother teased me for liking it so much.) and by now I've just accepted my reality tv weirdness!  Teen Mom, Bachelor, 16 and Pregnant, Property Brothers... hit me up with reality tv any day of the week!

Bachelor, my go to dating reality tv, is on sabbatical in the fall months so I need something to fill my dating reality tv itch until January.  Well, I finally found my answer.  This show.

Watching this show on MTV is everything I love about reality tv- twists, turns, and people who make really bad decisions.  Greg always jokes that I never turn down watching (or participating in!) a good make out session, so you know, those are some perks too... (Yes I'm a freak.) (So sue me.) (I love kissing.)

Watching these kinds of dating shows always makes me slightly nostalgic for my dating days.  But then I remember all the things I hated about dating and I don't miss it too much.  In fact, here's a fat list of things I don't miss about dating.


1.  Wondering if a guy was going to pay for dinner.  I know the man paying is the protocol, but every once in a while I'd have a guy who wouldn't offer to pay, so I always made sure I had money on me too.  So awkward wondering, do I pull out my wallet, is he covering it, will he be offended if I try to pay?

2.  Having to tell guys I wasn't interested.  I got better at this toward the end of my dating career.  I practiced saying, "Thank you so much for asking me out and I really enjoy being around you, but I'm not interested in pursuing anything romantically with you."  It sucks, but learning to say that is 100 times better than ignoring texts, phone calls, hoping you don't run in to the person, etc.  It's better and more kind.  I didn't know that when I was 19, but I did when I was 24, so you know... progress.

3.  Having a guy tell me he wasn't interested.  The flip side of #2, but just as sucky.  Nothing worse than a guy telling me that I just wasn't good enough for him.  You know, because I didn't like kids enough and all. (Yes it happened.) (Yes I now love my kid) (No that person still does not have kids.)  I think the rejection of dating is what makes it so hard... realizing that just because you're not right for one person doesn't mean you are not cool, funny, smart, of worth.  Breakups were just rough on the self esteem.

 These were my besties when I was single.  
Good thing I had them to buoy me up because constant breakups can really kill a girl's confidence!

4.  Having a guy give me the run around.  One guy in particular comes to mind... I was his favorite shirt in the back of the closet that he just couldn't part with... but certainly didn't want to wear it every day.  It took me months of letting him come in and out of my life whenever he felt like to finally have the strength to stop allowing him to see me (even though I really liked him.)  When I met Greg and he made me THE priority in my life, I realized what I had been missing.

5.  Always having to look cute and put together.  I mean, I like dressing up like the next person but I love that when Greg comes home I can greet him in my yoga pants and sweaty T-shirt and I get the same affection regardless.

Only as a married woman could I really embrace the ugly Halloween costumes.  
So freeing to not have to look amazing all the time!

6.  Trying to impress new people.  When I think back on dating it feels exhausting.  Constantly putting forth your best self, constantly trying to sell yourself, constantly doing activities you don't really enjoy doing so that you seem fun or cool or hip or whatever else.  I already impressed the socks off of Greg and now I just get to be Bonnie- no hiding nothing.

7.  The games.  How long until I can call him back?  How long to wait before I text?  Is it too forward to invite him up with a group to go to a cabin?  I have to show that I like him, but not come off too overbearing.  I'm getting tired just thinking about it.  One of the things that attracted me to Greg instantly is that there were no games.  At the end of our first date he said, "I'm very interested in you.  When can I see you again?"  After years of dating immature college boys, it was music to my ears.

8.  The separation of family life and dating life.  A lot of guys I didn't date long enough to want them to meet my family.  I hated having to do things separately with the person I was interested in and my family.  When I was with my family I'd miss the guy I liked and when I was with the guy I liked, I missed my family.  With Greg I get to hang out with him AND my family AND my Junebug.  What a world!

 My brother, nieces, husband, child.  We're all one big happy family now.

9.  Never getting any sleep.  Is it just me or when you were single did you never sleep?  It was like there wasn't time for sleep or you just might miss your man?  I'm not real sure the rationale behind it, but I just know it wasn't a priority and it was absolutely not okay to go to bed before midnight on a weekend.  Now I go to bed whenever I feel like it, and I sleep long and hard thank you very much!

What things do YOU not miss about dating?  Or if you are thick in the dating life, what things will you be glad to say goodbye to?  And if you are looking for some new reality tv goodness, I highly suggested Are you the One.

You can view the trailer here to see if it's your cup of tea.

If you love it, go ahead and watch full episodes here.

This post is sponsored by MTV but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

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