One Big Happy Mormon Family

My family is dying to get on my blog.

This weekend we had a big get together with my mom's side of the family up at our cabin.  Anytime I see my cousins, aunts, second cousins once removed, etc, because that's the way it rolls in a Mormon family, they all want to know when I am going to write about them on my blog.  

I don't really know how to reply to that.  I mean, usually the people I write about are either students who don't wear pants to class, old men who give me the stare down for parking handicapped or demonic Korean roommates who I would like to erase from my memory completely.  I guess I just don't feel the urge to write about my well behaved students or the pleasant conversations with the bank teller or even about my plethora of cousins who are all very very nice.  

So I guess it's time I officially let you know.

I have a plethora of cousins who are all very very nice.

Except for Reeder because he purposely  popped my water balloon during the balloon toss and you better believe I'm still holding on to that one.

We partied at the cabin this weekend and I enjoyed every second of it.  Look at us below throwing water balloons.  Doesn't that just look like a hoot and a holler?!?

Trying to think of something witty to say here to make fun of Marianne, but it's just not coming.  Marianne, you look like a dork and now the whole world can see.  MWAHAHAHA!

Who's that spiffy looking chick on the end?  Gosh, she sure looks like a gal who can toss a water balloon!

If you've heard one thing about Mormons it's probably that we like to have truckloads of kids.  I'll let the pictures above do the talking.

The majority of the family gathered in the front room for a little family trivia.  Yes, we have family trivia games because we are that awesome.  When I pulled out my camera, my aunt declared with boundless excitement, "Oh my gosh!  You guys!  We're going to be on Bonnie's blog!"

Yep, Aunt Wendy.  This is it.  You're on the blog.  Now you better comment.

This is my cousin, Marianne.  She's 21 and smoking hot and in the market for a Hubs of her own.  Since my own little sister, Mary, ditched me for Argentina I hang out with Marianne at family events.  I forced her into driving down with me (Hubs had rehearsal all weekend:  R.I.P. Hubs) and playing endless rounds of board games, ping pong, and tennis with me.  I even convinced her to share a bed with me.  And she did! Sucker!

Tangent:  Is it an insult to Hubs if I admit that without him I had the best night of sleep that I've had in months?    Something about being in the basement of a cabin in the mountain... nice and cold with mounds of blankets on top.  I was cozy and cuddly and not overheated one bit.  My burning hot coals for feet didn't wake me up once.  Not once!  Please don't tell Hubs how well I slept.  He can never sleep well when we're apart and I wouldn't want him to know that while he was tossing and turning I was sleeping like a freaking baby.

I pretty much adore Marianne.  She's funny and nice and confident and all the things that you would hope that you are.  Plus she laughs all the time and doesn't everyone love someone who laughs all the time?  Also she's paying me to say all of this stuff about her.

I kid. I kid.

But seriously, Marianne, if you want to buy me lunch sometime, I'm cool with that.

And Marissa, if you're somewhere out there in DenverLand, we missed you.  A lot.

And that's a wrap.

Now, family, you have all made the blog, and will you continue to let me blog about stupid students and crazy dinner guests in peace?!?!?

My husband thinks I look like Beavis

Every marriage has its issues.

This weekend it was brought to light that mine might have bigger problems than most.  This was discovered when Hubs said, "Bon!  Bon!  Hold still!  I want to draw a picture of you!"  Like any self respecting woman, I reveled in the attention and smiled gladly at the opportunity to have my portrait drawn!  I rested my chin on my hand, fluttered my eyelashes sweetly, and did my best to look like the adorable wife that I truly am.

"There!"  Hubs announced proudly when he was finished with the drawing.  I looked over to see this staring demonically back at me:

Naturally, there were many, many questions racing through my little head.

1.  Are my nostrils really that big?

2.  Why the black demon eyes?  Is it supposed to be symbolic of what I represent to Hubs?

3.  What's with the weird fist?  Is this, again, some kind of symbol?  Do I rule with an iron fist?  Is Hubs trying to tell me that I am a strong and powerful woman or that I scare the crap out of him?

4.  Is there a reason I have no fingers?

5.  The very high forehead- was that necessary?

6.  Is this really what my  hair looks like to Hubs?  Because, you know, I really do work hard to style that every day.  And if it's just coming out looking like that... well, I might just throw in the towel.

7.  What's with the... ahem... chest area?  Seriously Hubs?  Is that really what my feminie parts look like to you?

8.  My right arm.  Where is it?

9.  Why are my eyebrows such hairy bushes?  Please, Hubs, you know I take great pains to tweeze those bad boys!  Cut me some slack around here!

10.  Is that a mole hair coming off of my chin?

The more I looked at it, the more I couldn't help but think that I bear a striking resemblance to Beavis.  Minus the cleavage, of course.

Am I right or right?

Which has left me to wonder, is this how my husband perceives me?  Does he look at me and see only a slightly more feminine version of Beavis?

But you know what?  The whole experience was not in vain because I learned something this weekend.  Something that I can share with you readers that can improve all of our lives.

If you want your self esteem in tact, never ever EVER under any circumstances allow your husband to draw a portrait of you.

That is all.

A post in which I take five children out rafting on the lake during a thunderstorm

Do you or do you not love hearing about other peoples' weekends?

THIS weekend for us was a big Blackburn family get together at our family cabin.  Six of the eight Blackburn kids were there (R.I.P. Mary and Dennis... we'll see you at next summer's family gathering, suckers!) and 13 of the 14 grandchildren graced us with their presence.  Have you ever been in a cabin for 2 days with 13 kids aged 2-13?

IT IS PURE MADNESS, I TELL YOU. PURE MADNESS!

But the good kind of madness.

Here's the little darlings watching Ice Age.  Please notice Josie all the way on the right.  She has completely stolen Hubs' heart and run away with it.  The way he looks at this girl, I start to think I might never get my husband back.

Did I say there were a lot of kids at the cabin?  There were.
Did I mention how many adults were there? Just as many.
Thirteen adults.  Thirteen children.
Once the little angels were in bed the adults stayed up and got buck wild crazy.  You should see us play cards!

Is that me shepherding five children in a raft in the middle of a thunderstorm?
YES!
YES IT IS!

Friday the weather was crappy all day.
Sorry, mom, for saying crappy.
But it was.

We wanted to take the kids out on the lake, but rainy weather forced us to stay inside and watch movies and play cards instead.

Saturday we were determined hell or high water to take the kids out on the lake.
As soon as we got out there it started raining.  Literally the second the rafts touched the water.

And doesn't this all look very safe?

Hubs descibes me as "intense." From the above picture, you would never guess it, would you?!?

It wasn't easy paddling that raft.  I could have used some man help.  My sister's husband, Ben, hung off the raft and was not exactly the kind of help I was looking for.  I guess beggars can't be choosers, huh?

Hubs stayed on shore.  He likes places that are safe and comfortable.  I like places that are risky and adventurous.  This is his Native American face.  Also, please feel free to make fun of him for wearing a jacket to the lake.

As soon as we got out of the lake, the skies cleared right up.  Naturally.  I'm not even exaggerating about this.  We were in the lake for five minutes and that was exactly the five minutes of the day that it rained.  Once the skies cleared up I tried to get the kids to get back in the water but by then they were already traumatized/soaking wet/miserable/crying/other things that kids seem to be so much of the time.  It was a futile endeavor.

Hubs with his new girlfriend.  Can you see the hunger in his eyes for a baby girl of his own?  It's hard to resist, even I'll admit that.

While Hubs colored with the new gf, I was left to entertain the four year olds.  We played a game that four year olds are capable of playing, so that should tell you right there how awesome the game was.  I handled it like a champ.  Best aunt award goes to.... drumroll... BONNIE!!!!!

Hubs might be hankering for a sweet baby girl, but I'm thinking (contrary to my earlier thoughts) that I'll take a cute little boy.  Like this one.  He's my nephew, Matthew, and I just can't help but feel like a million bucks when he snuggles up with me and gives me a sly little smile.  And then I have to stop and wonder... is this why people have children?

And now, if you will please answer my question...

DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT LIKE HEARING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES' WEEKENDS?