Sunday, July 27, 2014

Adjustment Period

July 27, 2014.  Eleven days postpartum.
This was literally seconds before June spit up everywhere.  It was glorious.

It has been a period of adjustment over here in our household.  All of a sudden what was once two is now three, and the third member of this party can't do a darn tooting thing for herself.  There are middle of the night feedings and an absurd amount of laundry and the cutest coos and giggles I ever imagined.  It is nothing like I thought it would be and exactly what I thought it would be all at the same time.

Here is the 411 on how we are all adjusting:

June's recovery/health:  I don't know that "recovery" is the best word for June.  Because she was a C section, she didn't have to squeeze her way through the birth canal, and therefore didn't have to recover from much.  The delivery was no sweat for her and she managed to keep her good looks through the process.  Yes, we have a diva on our hands.  She was born at 5 pounds 12 ounces, when we left the hospital she was at 5 lbs 5 oz, and as of Wednesday she was back up to 5 lbs 10 oz.  She eats like a tank and is even starting to develop a double chin.  It makes me sad in the weirdest way.  I am so happy she's growing and thriving, and yet I want her to stay my little five pound nugget forever.

My recovery:  C sections don't mess around.  My incision hurts when I do just about anything- walk, cough, laugh, roll over in bed.  If stay up on my medications, then I am usually okay.  I can always tell when it's that last hour before I can take another pain pill, though.  My stomach is screaming, I start freaking out at Greg for no reason, I break in to tears.  Once I get the pain medication, I go back to being a fairly normal person and all is well again.  I am definitely not very good at staying put, which is what I am supposed to be doing.  I have to force myself to not do dishes, not put a load in the laundry, not walk to go get the mail.  It is so hard to feel helpless and have to rely on someone else for everything.

Postpartum body: There is a lot I love about not being pregnant anymore.  For one, my appetite is back with a vengenace.  My third trimester I was never hungry and had to force myself to eat.  Now I am hungry all the time- I want all the food!  I have loved eating all my favorite yummy foods that for whatever reason had no appeal to me when I was pregnant.  Rolls, french toast, ice cream, burritos, I want it all!  (Anyone else out there whose appetite decreased dramatically when pregnant?  I'm trying to figure out what was wrong with me.)

I might be the only woman to ever say this, but I kind of miss being pregnant.  I miss my pregnant belly poking out and hitting into things.  I miss feeling pretty in that pregnant/ motherly sort of way.  I suppose I wasn't quite ready to be done being pregnant- I thought June would come two weeks late and instead she came two weeks early- in a way I feel like I was robbed of a month of pregnancy.

Maverick:  Maverick's had a bad week.  He stayed with Greg's parents while we were in the hospital, and they brought him down to us last Sunday.  He's jealous as all get out, demanding more attention from Greg and me than he ever has before.  He tries to crawl into our laps the same way he sees June lying in our laps.  He sees me feeding June and then tries to nestle himself into my chest.  He sniffs her constantly and seems to not altogether trust her.  He has to be sitting right next to me at all times and even if I've just been outside throwing the ball for him for an hour, he still is just so so needy.  To be totally honest, I have never been so annoyed with him as I have been this week.  I keep waiting for him to snap out of it.  How long until my dog adjusts?!

Nursing:  This is one thing that has been a very pleasant surprise for me.  I have heard so many horror stories of how difficult breast feeding is, babies that wouldn't latch, women that wouldn't produce enough milk, nipples that would bleed and bleed.  I think June felt bad for insisting my body get chopped in half for her delivery and so she's making it up to me this way.  She latched on without difficulty, and by the second or third day it was like she'd been doing it for years.  We've been smooth sailing ever since and I am counting my lucky stars.

Greg:  Greg has been an absolute champ the past week and a half.  He eased into parenthood so effortlessly- I swear it was like his whole life has just been waiting for this.  June has got him wrapped around her tiny little finger and he will do anything for either of us.  He has really had to step up as I have been able to do much less than I am used to.  He has made meals for us, done laundry, vacuumed, and even gets up in the middle of the night to change diapers/burp/swaddle.  I have mad respect for anyone who does the parenting thing alone- it is a tough biz!

Emotions/ hormones:   I tell you what, postpartum emotions are no joke.  This has been the hardest part for me.  My hormones are all out of whack and I feel like I don't have total control over (or any control) over my emotions.  Every day my goal is to not have a random break down.  So far I've gone one day.  ONE DAY!  Some days I feel lonely even though I've had Greg and June with me the whole time... I think it's the being cooped up inside that really starts to take its toll on me.  As long as I get out of the house and go somewhere- anywhere- I do much better.  Before I had June everyone told me, "Make sure your fridge is stocked and you have everything you need- the last thing you'll want to do after you have a baby is go to the store."  For me it's been the exact opposite.  I take any excuse to get out of the house- to make a random return, to pick up a gallon of milk, to go get a snow cone.  If I make sure I do that then my breakdowns are less severe/ more controllable.  I feel so insanely grateful to have June, and I hold her and look at her in absolute awe and wonder.  She is the most perfect, adorable little girl I could have ever asked for.  At the same time, there is a part of me that mourns and misses my old life- that is jealous of those of you out on the lake, headed to concerts, going camping.  Becoming a parent  is such a big life transition (the biggest one of all, maybe?) so I am trying to be patient with myself as I get adjusted. 

24 comments:

  1. This is so wonderful! I couldn't wait to see how it is going. I love when you say having a baby is nothing you imagined but everything you imagined. It makes sense.

    I just got married in May and I can't help but get excited about being a mom in a year or two. Living vicariously through till then :)

    Thanks for the update- keep it coming!

    Congrats!

    Ginny
    www.buttergirldiaries.com

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  2. Loved your update. It is so good!

    Here's my input...
    During my third trimester i lost my appetite too. There's just no room for all of those organs plus a baby plus food filling up your tummy! it is just uncomfortable. Glad you like to eat again. You and Baby need it for nursing! Keep up your strength!

    Hopefully your dog will adjust quickly. But I gotta say it. As much as i love my dog, I loved her a lot less after i had kids. I refer to her now as the "kid who I have to do everything for but don't love nearly as much". Dogs ain't got nothing on your children. But people who don't have kids don't realize that until they have kids ;)

    Yay for easy nursing! It was easy for me and all 5 of my babies as well. And most people hated me for it because it was just so unfair. But I am happy for you.

    Also, yay for awesome husbands! Go Greg!

    Lastly (as if this comment wasn't long enough)... postpartum hormones... I want them to die a slow and painful death. Just don't expect too much of yourself. They come and go for several months. They are hard. I feel for you there, sister.

    And hooray for your stinking adorable baby! I love her and I don't even know her ;)

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  3. Oh Boppers… good to hear your update. I wanted to FaceTime you yesterday… Ben is gone for two weeks. We should talk! As far as wanting to get out of the house and feeling cooped up and jealous of everyone out and about… just remember that there is a time and a season for everything and this part of your life is TEMPORARY. In just a few months you'll be out and about with June Bug and feeling quite normal again, but yes, different. The first few months are the hardest for sure… it does get easier! Much easier! Even at 3 months it's like they turn a corner. So, just enjoy the slow, quiet, precious moments with her and let the outside world wait.

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  4. P.S. More pictures of June Bug!

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  5. I felt the same way after I had my first baby and then my twins. I had to get out of the house! I would breastfeed them and then hit the door for an hour of solo time while my husband or family watched the baby/babies. It certainly helped me feel more normal. People thought I was crazy because I had a c section with both. They thought I should sit at home and heal. Nope! I had to get out!

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  6. For the first two weeks, i couldn't go anywhere. I was afraid that Riley would fuss or become hungry and I would have to feed her in public (even though I have a cover). I heard it gets easier after the first - that you aren't so nervous to do things, but the first two weeks were NO JOKE. I loved that people would come and see her but at the same time I wanted to be left alone. My mom was a life saver. While Andrew was at work (this is his busy season, so he's has to be at work early and gets out late) my mom was doing laundry, the dishes, cleaning the house and taking care of my needy dogs. Yes, mine were the same way! Ugh!!! She also made me get out of the house at least once a day, even if that just meant driving over to her house and sitting on the couch. I am soooo grateful. Now, I feel comfortable to get out and do things on my own.
    I also understand what you mean about still being pregnant. I loved being pregnant. Yes, I did have gestational diabetes and some other problems, but it was such an amazing time. When your stomach poked out, it was cute. Now I just feel like a fat mom. haha. I feel like I need to buy new clothes with more fun colors so that I don't look like a mom. Maybe i need a cute new hair do. Its just so many random emotions and they are all tough! I understand where you are coming from and it is honestly refreshing to hear someone else who has been struggling. thank you! xo xo

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  7. Bon you are amazing. And I'm sure you're an amazing mom!!! I am the same way that I like to have control of everything and I feel awful sitting around doing nothing! but let Greg help you (not like I have a ton of experience in the mothering/ just had a baby world) but you are healing from growing a baby from scratch. Take it easy and get some sunshine :) love ya if you need ANYTHING, even someone to hold that cute girl while you take a shower, let me know!!! :)

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  8. She's adorable and you look adorable. Sounds like you all are adjusting well... except for Mav. Hopefully, soon ~ him and June will be best buds. How's your house coming along?

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  9. Oh my goodness, you're so normal, I promise. My last trimester I didn't want to eat at all, so no worries on that front. I actually think it's somewhat common in women, but no one really ever talks about it that much. Also, most of my crying after my daughter was born was because I wasn't pregnant anymore. I missed it so dang much, which is crazy because you spend the last trimester wishing that dang baby would get out of you already (at least for me ;) And I needed to get out of the house. I took my baby on a road trip 5 days after she was born while my husband was at work because I couldn't stand the thought of staying inside. I also took her to church right away because I wasn't one to stay home like I'm supposed to :) You're doing so great and I'm glad June is such a good baby! Hope you heal quickly! Post partum-ness is no joke!

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  10. I'm glad things are going mostly smoothly. Feel better quick!

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  11. Congrats on your sweet/adorable/perfect little June! When you mentioned Maverick having a hard time adjusting, I immediately thought of a blog that had a series of how they prepared their two dogs for babies arrival. I'm including a link to a "post-baby" post they did, and I hope it has some helpful information. It also lists the links to the series they did at the end of the post. Maverick will be fine....it's an adjustment time for the whole family (pets included).

    http://loveandaleash.com/2013/06/06/dogs-and-baby-the-secret-to-success/

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  12. I feel the same about cabin fever, loving Rhys to death, but still wanting my old freedom. Sounds like Maverick is a jealous older sibling! My parents have two little lapdogs...one is less than 5lbs, and one is about the same size as Rhys and is super, super, super curious!

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  13. With my second pregnancy I never had an appetite everything made me sick, I gained 9lbs and my baby weighed 8lbs 4oz lol

    I had 2 c-sections and you are right they are no joke, take time and get well girl!

    She is gorgeous!

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  14. Everyone's experiences are different when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. I have heard all kinds of different stories. I actually know a lot of women who loved being pregnant. It hasn't really been my cup of tea. I've been focusing on the positive though because being miserable for 9 months is pointless, but I really just can't wait for our little guy to get here!

    It sounds like you're getting in the swing of things so well. I hope our transition is just as smooth! Thank you, as always, for your honesty.

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  15. When both my babies were born I had this horrible feeling like I had just made the worst decision ever. Part of that was hormones and part of that was just adjusting to my new life/loss of freedom. With Olivia I cried thinking about how hard it would be to get a Slurpee while lugging around a baby. A SLURPEE!! But, it's true, no more running in super quick to grab something, anything, from a shop. After two weeks or so, the feeling went away and I still had moments of hormonal imbalance (even to this day I cry at commercials I never would have otherwise) but it was never that all consuming feeling after that. You'll love having a bit of freedom on those days she's in daycare. I think it will be the prefect amount! You can run and grab a slurpee on your lunch break (or what ever else you feel you're missing out on! Ha!)

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  16. Yes being a new mum has a period of adjustment and with our first we are more likely to feel like we have jumped in the deep end and don't know how to swim but somehow we stay afloat and learn how to swim

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  17. Hooray for an update. What a precious family. Hope the dog gets less needy.

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  18. So SO happy everything is good Bonnie!! You look amazing! Your baby is the cutest thing ever, what could be better! Love you and excited for your new family!! <3

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  19. I found your blog from a fellow bloggers comment. Congratulations on your beautiful little one. I had my baby at 32 weeks prematurely via emergency c section. My husband was and is still currently serving over seas. He has yet to meet his, once 3lb now almost 13lb baby. But you are right it's an adjustment period. When doing it alone or not. It's nice to know I share in some of these same experiences after having my little man. Thanks for a wonderful post.

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  20. One suggestion...try walking as much as you can, even if it's just little bits at a time (like to get the mail). I have had two c-sections, and even though it's tough at first, I found that that more I stayed still, the "stiffer" my incision got (if that makes any sense). I'm not telling you to go crazy and walk 5 miles, but just to try to be too sedentary. I turned a big corner about 14 days after the c-section when my husband and I walked around target for about 45 minutes. I was slow, and shuffling, but for whatever reason, it loosened up the adhesions and my pain was greatly decreased after that. Good luck!!

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  21. Thank you for sharing your wonderful experiences. As I was reading, my mind couldn't help remembering my pregnancy number 1, number 2, number 3, and number 4 (twins!). Breast feeding was the bomb! I loved every moment of my pregnancy and every moment of breast feeding. I am so very grateful for all the memories of motherhood and what my children have taught me over the years. Now that all my boys are grown men, I thank God every day for the journey. Much success to you and your wonderful family and your wonderful life. Loves, Hugs, and Kisses...

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  22. Oh the dog thing. I think I commented on your link to this on fb but I'm commenting again - our dog had a very rough first week too. She stayed at my parents a couple nights just so she'd eat something and get some sleep. Cuz at home she was a nervous wreck. She's already a little anxious and hates to be alone. But she did exactly what you described - had to sit RIGHT next to me or in my lap and whined and sniffed the baby like she was a weird animal. One of my first big breakdowns was on the kitchen floor about two days after getting home. I was trying to hand feed my dog tuna fish (what dog wouldn't scarf down some tuna??) and she just looked at me and the food and wouldn't even budge. She wouldn't eat. I cried and cried and wondered if it'd ever go back to normal. And I am very happy to report that it has. Baby is now 9 months and I'd say it took about a month or two for the dog to really calm down and act normal. Now they're starting to be besties and pick on eachother and it's great :)

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  23. She is adorable and thanks for the honest update, I can not wait to read more!

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  24. Baby June is precious and you look fantastic! My sweet little babe just turned 3 months, it really does FLY by! I am with you completely on missing being pregnant, especially right after my daughter was born. She was 3 weeks early and I just guess I wasn't mentally ready to be done with pregnancy yet! We're blessed to have enjoyed it so much I suppose! Good luck to your sweet little fam!

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