Thursday, August 07, 2014

High School Reunion- to go or not to go?


That up there is a picture of me in high school, in case you were wondering.  
I was very into mascara and lip gloss and spent a lot of time 
with my flat iron trying to get my hair to flip just right.  
You know, important high school stuff.

This month is my ten year high school reunion.  I have debated and debated whether or not I should go, and I keep putting it off, promising to think about it tomorrow. Today is the deadline to buy tickets.  Decision day is here.

The truth is I was a bit lost in high school.  I suppose I hadn't quite figured out who I was yet.  I liked myself just fine, but wasn't quite convinced yet that anybody else should like me.  I had no confidence around my peers. I was the president of National Honor's Society, the piano accompanist for choir, and carried around a copy of David McCullough's John Adams to all of my classes just in case there was down time.  (There always was.)  A terrible driver from the get go, I wrecked my parents' old station wagon midway through my senior year.  My parents insisted I live with the consequences of my actions, and so for the rest of the year I had to resort to rollerblading from the high school to my after school job.  I carried the blades with me in my backpack during the day and to make the after school trek more fun,  I listened to Billy Joel's Greatest Hits on my discman while I rollerbladed.  I was the epitome of hip.

I had no idea how to flirt.  I was madly in love with a boy in my calculus class, and watched helplessly as he dated someone else for the entire year.  The friends I hung out with were all a year older than me, and I suspect they let me roll with them partly out of pity.  I had never kissed a boy.

That's not to say I hated high school. It was fine for what it was, I just didn't love it. I moved from the town I grew up in for college and never looked back. I found my confidence in college and met my best friends for life.  My mom moved from the town three years ago and any friends I had there have long since left.  Especially now that the place harbors with it so many memories of my dad, I have little desire or motivation to visit and tend to keep my distance.

Yet something keeps pulling at me to attend the reunion.  It's two hours away from where I live now, and it would cost $50 for Greg and I to attend. (Ouch!  Does this seem steep to anyone else besides me?)  I really am not close with anyone who graduated with me in 2004.  Part of me feels all my high school insecurities rushing back to me when I think of going and seeing my high school peers.  It's like I'm convinced all over again that I'll never be cool enough.

When I was visiting my sister in Germany I mentioned that my reunion was coming up.  She encouraged me to go, stating that she had missed her own ten year reunion and regretted it.  I still can't decide if I'll regret missing mine or if I should just keep the $50 and spend the evening cuddling up to Modern Family with my husband and baby instead.

I am interested to know how many of you attended/will attend your high school reunion.  Is it important to make that effort or is it okay to just accept you have nothing in common with 200 people who graduated the same time and place that you did and let it go?


41 comments:

  1. "Never look back darling. It distracts from the now" At least...that's how I feel about hs. :)

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  2. I didn't go to my 10 year. I kind of felt like I keep in touch with the people I want to keep in touch with and I really hate small talk so I didn't want to be stuck doing that all night. It's hard to catch someone up on the past 10 years of your life in 5 minutes...I did have friends that went though and really enjoyed it :)

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  3. I moved a lot growing up and moved between my sophomore and junior year of high school. Needless to say I think high school reunions sound fun but nobody at my high school even knew who I was haha. I think reunions are starting to become outdated because people tend to keep in touch with who they want to via social media. I wonder if they will even be a thing 10 years down the road.

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  4. I skipped my reunion, however, it really wasn't like an organized reunion. It was at a local bar and we were invited via Facebook. I would say go with your gut. If you think you're going to have fun, even without knowing anyone, I would go. But if you think it's going to be totally awkward and a waste of $50...yes that's a lot...don't go. Or....go and if it's lame, leave and find your own fun!! Make it into a weekend away!

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  5. i skipped my 5 year reunion. my 10 year is this next summer - 2015. we skipped my husbands 10 year last summer because i was huge and pregnant and there ain't no way i was going to that! but i think we might go to mine next year. we'll see. i also spent a good portion of high school being a loser and eating lunch by myself in my car because my close friends were older and graduated. sooo good luck!

    ps miss torrie that you posted about a few days ago? she's my real life, from elementary school friend and i love her to pieces. she's awesome :) good choice.

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  6. I went to my 5-year but it was only bearable because I got really drunk. You don't drink, right? SKIP IT. I've since missed my 10-year and just missed my 15-year a few weeks ago. I *might* go to the 20-year. I'm still single though, so I'd have to hire a really hot escort.

    I will say the highlight of my 5-year was seeing this nasty girl who teased me all the time in high school, mostly because of my thrift store clothing. She showed up wearing a halter top. You know how some tops come with clear plastic straps to help them stay on the hanger. She was wearing them like normal straps. Over her bra straps. With a halter top. Clear plastic straps. Let that sink in for a moment. It was pretty awesome!

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  7. I wish I could attended a high school reunion, I think it would be fun to see who everyone turned out over the last 10 years and just people watch. However, I graduated from Valley High School with bunch of bozos and I don't want to go see them doing nothing with their lives. I don't even know if Valley High School does reunions? (Wish I graduated from Copper Hills)
    I think you should at least go to one and experience what it's like, plus you could have an experience like Michele and Romy. ;)

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  8. If the $50 includes food and drinks, then it sounds reasonable to me. But finances aside, if you don't want to go, you shouldn't feel obligated. I honestly have no desire to attend mine. The people from high school that I care about, I already keep in touch with them -- and I really don't have a reason to see anyone else. Plus, I live across the country now, so... yeah. Haha.

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  9. I didn't go to mine...but I would say go! $50 doesn't sound too bad. So I say GO just for shits and giggles.
    Mine happened the month before I got married (in 2007) and it cost $80 per person. Considering we were high school sweeties and most of our good friends also went to school with us, we decided not to go and focus on our wedding. But looking forward to my 20th year reunion, maybe I will want to go and see what people are really up to!

    Andie's Traveling Pants

    PS-You were/are cute as a button in your HS pic!

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  10. I didn't attened my 10 year . I think that it is just to soon. We haven't changed enough for it to be really fun.

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  11. I refuse to go to one. I would be okay with never seeing more than half of the people I graduated with. A bunch of rude snobs. But...that was just my experience.

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  12. You know, I didn't go to mine either but I still feel ambivalence about that decision. Our reunion cost $50/person ($100 total for my husband and myself!) and I actually went to HS with my husband, although he was two grades ahead of me. We have both stayed in touch with MANY friends (both individual and mutual friends) from high school and live about 500 miles away from our hometown now. I guess what I am saying is, it sounds like you also won't regret it too much if you miss. And I really like Modern Family and babies. That is always a winning combo.

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  13. I graduated in 2005 and have heard that there is an upcoming reunion. I made up my mind right after I graduated HS that I didn't need to attend any reunion. Not that I had a bad experience. I was like you basically. But I just feel like leaving those happy (and awkward) memories in the past. I feel like it's just a big competition and a way to be nosy to see how everyone is or isn't surviving in the real world. Besides, I pretty much keep in touch with everyone from HS that I feel the need to (which is, like, 3 people). Good luck with whatever you choose to do. :)

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  14. Our 10 year reunion was three years ago and we didn't go. My significant other and I were in the same graduating class (at the same school), and neither of us wanted to go. He said it perfectly "I've already kept in touch with everyone I want to keep in touch with." Plus, our son was only a month old, and we wanted to stay with him. :) we don't regret not going.

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  15. I almost think that, if you feel anxious about it, you should go, because it will give you a chance to see that all those high school issues and insecurity aren't even relevant to adult life. Or, you might discover that everyone is exactly the same as they are in high school, and then you can go home and laugh at how silly everyone is and how they haven't really grown up. But take that with a grain of salt, because it's coming from someone who enjoys putting herself in uncomfortable situations.

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  16. I think 10 year reunions are one of those things that is slowly dying away and not becoming the norm. Technology has made it possible to keep in contact with a lot of our HS friends. My recommendation is to not waste your time or money.

    My class was probably around 300-400 and my reunion was cancelled due to lack of interest. I think a week before the event, the organizers said they had sold like 10 tickets. The awkward/gossipy thing: a bunch of the girls organizing the reunion where no longer friends with someone they were close with in HS. They actually picked her wedding day to be the day of the reunion just so she and her remaining HS friends wouldn't be able to go. High School drama never ends sometimes.

    My husband's HSR was awful. He came from a smaller class of under 100. Their tickets prices were $40 per person and he grew up in a super poor, low middle class area. There were maybe 20 people plus their dates that showed up and it was held in this large banquet hall, where the "popular" group of about 10 people all crowded around one table and then everyone else just had 1-2 people per table. They had their school lunch lady there as the "caterer' and she made the schools spaghetti and meat sauce. It was endearing but not worth $40. The second we left my husband was apologizing that we wasted our time and money.

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  17. I've always said I'll never go to any of my reunions. Maybe I'll change my mind when the time comes around, but I've always said if I wanted to stay in contact with the people I went to school with, I would've.

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  18. Really, what do you have to lose? You can't go back and 'redo' a reunion, if you miss it, it's gone forever. Better to go and be pleasantly surprised, than not go and wish you had. It will be whatever you make it. Have fun!

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  19. I didn't go to my 10 year and didn't miss it. My 20 is coming up and I don't think I'll go to that either. Ours is also 50 for tickets and I just don't think I want to spend 50 to hang out with people I don't really like.

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  20. I only have one or two high school friends I keep up with, and that's only on Facebook. I will end up going to my ten year because my class especially suffered some serious losses during middle school and high school and I think it would be important to respect those who aren't with us anymore physically. I don't know why that's so important to us as a graduating class, but I think it signifies us as a whole unit instead of individuals who went to school together.

    The price does sound steep, but at least you'd get to show off your man and pictures of your new baby!

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  21. How timely-- my ten year is tomorrow. I'm going cause I'm close and it's free ($50?!). I graduated with 60 people, so it is a little different (my husband graduated with 15 and had 11 had his ten year! Big percentage!). One friend says she doesn't want to go because of her weight, another because she's still single. I told them both to come saying we all have insecurities but hopefully we've moved past that? I'll let you know. Everyone says the 20 year (and up) is the best. And wouldn't reunions be so much better without Facebook? And you got the hair flip SO right.

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  22. That's cheap! Mine was $75. EACH!!!

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  23. I did not attend my 10 year reunion, mostly because of the price, but also because I haven't really been friends with anyone from high school after everyone all went off to college. It ended up getting canceled due to low registration so I must have not been the only one to feel that way. My 15th will be next summer and I'm not sure if I'll go to it either.

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  24. I didn't go. I knew when I was still in high school that I would have no desire to go to the reunions. I was kind of a loner, had just a few close friends, and my boyfriend at the time, so I don't really feel the need to see any of those people again.

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  25. I didn't go to either of the two reunions we've had so far (10 and 20 if you MUST know). I have zero regret.

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  26. I have gone to all reunions and I enjoyed each one....Go!

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  27. First of all, high school was the same for everyone. Everyone felt lost in high school, and so, you think you totally hated it, and then you realize everyone hated it. It was hard for everyone. And everyone struggles with whether or not they really want to go when they really didn't keep in touch with anyone.

    But my 10 year high school reunion was one of the best weekends of my life. It was an incredible experience, because you DO have stuff in common - you went to the same school, and you have more similar experiences than you really understand. People change, and it was so great to get to know for who they are TODAY, regardless of whether I knew them well in school or not. I don't think it's fair to judge people based on who they were at 15, 16, 17 or 18.

    I just know that I had a really great time, and I am really looking forward to the next one. I think you might have more regrets not going, than going. Life is short. People lose their lives way too soon, and as the years go by, there are less opportunities to connect with those people.

    I'd urge you to consider it. There's nothing to be lost by spending an evening with people who, in tiny little pieces, have helped you become who you are. I promise you'll have more fun than you probably think.

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  28. I say skip it! Who needs all that jazz when life is way cooler now?

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  29. Mine is next year and I plan on not going I know everyone I want to know and I really don't find the need to go back into the future with a bunch of people I really didnt enjoy being around in the first place. I also think they have a better time admiring/judging me from afar. And who the hell wants to see exes blah! NOT ME!

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  30. I went to my ten year and didn't really enjoy myself, so I skipped my twentieth and don't regret it at all. I think if you didn't have much in common with your high school peers, there's no real reason to go.

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  31. I can hear in this post that you want to go. So just go! That being said, I most definitely won't be going to mine next year :)

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  32. The rollerblades! I am on the fence too. My husband has a lot of connections from high school still and always talks about wanting to go to his (or even plan it) while I could really care less. However, if we were close and it was somewhat affordable I might just go to go and know that if it's miserable I can just leave and not be out much money or time..

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  33. I think you should go. I regret missing mine as it was across the country. $50 for you both is reasonable. My staff Christmas party was $40 each. Go without the idea that you want to impress anyone.

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  34. I think you keep in touch with the people from the past that you want to keep in touch with, so I don't think a reunion is necessary. I went to mine with my close friends and at the end of if decided it would have been much more fun for just the 3 of us plus husbands to have gone to dinner just us. Plus with $50 we could have had one heck of a meal!

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  35. As someone who is currently planning their school's 10-year reunion, $50 for the two of you sounds about right. I plan to price tickets at about $25 per person since our catering alone will cost $23/person and there are also decorations and a DJ that need to be paid somehow, and God forbid the school help us at all. Anyway! I say that if you're even on the fence, go for it. Sure we have Facebook to know what many of our classmates are up to, but actually seeing them again in person and having a conversation with some of them will mean so much more. I had a decent high school experience and have been looking forward to the reunion for years.

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  36. My reunion is in October and I have no idea if I'm going or not. I liked high school, but college was way better. Also, a lot of my friends weren't in my class. They were older or younger than I was. I had some friends in my graduating class, but not a ton. If it was a music/theatre high school thing where other years would be there too I'd probably go. My BFF and I have been debating for awhile and we're still undecided!

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  37. I skipped my 10 year reunion, 3 years ago, and I don't regret it. I still live in/near the town I grew up in and I still maintain friendships from high school. Our reunion was about $100 A PERSON and that only included light refreshments (soda/snacks... it was at a winery and wine was on you). I'm not entirely sure what the planners were thinking but it did not have a great turn out and those that did end up going said it was lame. I think if you go you'll probably have a good time and if you don't it's unlikely you'll regret it. You might, but if you really don't want to go then you probably won't regret it.

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  38. I went to my high school reunion and I didn't regret it. I wasn't too excited to go, but then I wanted to see some people that I had reconnected over the years with via facebook, instagram, etc. People change and it was a great evening. I would recommend going.

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  39. What did you decide? Did you buy tickets to go or not?

    My 10 year reunion is this year as well. I was planning to attend mine until I found out what the actual plans are. They've made the event about as unclassy as possible, so I decided not to go. You can read about my decision here:
    http://sweetsassysouthernbelle.com/high-school-reunion-failure/

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  40. Mine is October. I'm not going... NO WAY! I hated high school. It was single-handedly the worst four years of life. I wanted time to pass my so fast so I could graduate, but it didn't. It got so bad that I was going to switch schools. I didn't and just stuck it out. The majority of people are on my FB, so I know what they are up to.

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  41. Mine is 2 years away and I can't wait for it. I'm somebody who likes to stay in touch though, which might make me a little bit weird. The main reason I'm leaving this comment (but felt like I should at least say something about the actual question first) is because you were the accompanist for the choir! That's awesome. I knew I liked you for a reason. Choir accompanists are always good people. (No, I'm not an accompanist, I just sing in a lot of choirs.)

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