Wednesday, August 06, 2014

These days


There must be something seriously wrong with me that a big part of me can not wait to have another baby.  It's just that the entire pregnancy/birth/newborn stage has been so much sweeter than I could have ever imagined.  I suppose I prepared myself for the worst.  I listened to everyone's horror stories about having babies and convinced myself that that would happen to me, too.

I would go two weeks past my due date.
I would have a terrible, traumatic birth experience.
My baby would have colic.
I would have postpartum depression.
Greg would distance himself emotionally from me and the baby.
My baby wouldn't latch onto me making breast feeding painful and miserable.
I would resent my baby.
I would have to stay at home all day every day because my baby wouldn't allow me to go out at all.
Sleep would cease to exist.
I wouldn't ever have time to shower or get ready.  I'd never feel pretty again.
It would take me three years to lose the baby weight.
Greg and I would fight constantly.
Post birth recovery would be so bad that I wouldn't be able to do anything for weeks and weeks.
My friends would all ditch me and I'd be totally alone without any social outlets.
I would resort to talking to wildlife and playing online poker for my social interaction.

I was ready.  Armed and loaded, ready to be hit with every single one of those scenarios right after birth.  (This is what happens when you live in a culture where ever single person your age already has kids and every single one of those people want to share their worst experiences with you to "prepare" you.)  So when I wasn't hit with those scenarios, at first I held my breath.  Certainly they were coming.  Four days of successful breastfeeding?  That doesn't mean a thing!  Two weeks of easy nights, with baby only waking twice to feed and then going right back to sleep?  It won't last!  Three weeks of loving everything about being a mom?  It could all go wrong at any second!

Just recently have I started to allow myself to think that maybe this is what motherhood is going to be for me.  Sweet.  Fun.  Enjoyable.  Maybe all these years that I was terrified of having children what I didn't know is that I would absolutely love it?

That's not to say that there haven't been bumps in the road.  The last thing I wanted was a C section and there is a part of me that still mourns that I couldn't deliver June normally.  My incision will strike at a moment's notice, causing me great pain and making me instantly grumpy and frustrated.  If I don't leave the house every day I start to feel lonely- like the world is passing me by.  My emotions have been all of out whack.   (See crying over tile back splash from yesterday's post...)

BUT.  Overall, it has been a very special, almost sacred time for me.  These days are incredibly sweet and tender.  There is a special spirit in our home with our little five pound newborn. Greg doesn't have to start working at the high school until August 14, and I don't have to go back until mid September (yea for maternity leave!) so these winding summer days are long and lazy for us.  We stay up late cuddling and cooing at June, eating nachos, watching Redboxes.  We sleep in, are lucky to take a shower by noon, run to the grocery store together, and take long afternoon naps.  Sometimes I take a step back and look at my family and am just overwhelmed at it all.  This is my very own little family- my future, my everything.  What in the world I did to deserve it, I will never know.

Next week Greg will start his job at the high school and my days will be my own.  June will grow and soon she won't be the still sleeping newborn that she is now.  I'll go back to work and life will go crazy again.  But for these days, these long dog days of summer, everything is just about perfect.

Can you blame me for wanting to do it all again?

 ^^My niece, checking out the baby.

^^ She hasn't quite mastered the hold yet.

 ^^ This is my friend's baby- born one day after June.  As you can see, there's a bit of a weight difference.



^^ With her grandma.

27 comments:

  1. I loved reading this! So happy for you.

    My experience was almost identical to yours, minus the c-section. Everything was nearly perfect. Nothing went wrong. My baby was a breast feeding champ, and slept through the night at 2 weeks. Total dreamboat. Like you, i couldnt wait to do it all over again... which is why my first 2 children are 14 months apart ;)

    Enjoy it all!

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  2. Being a mom IS the best. You're totally right. I was surprised too, after having my first. I prepared myself for everything bad and had the practically perfect experience too. Still some challenges but not terrible. I think it's an unintentional thing some moms do to feel appreciated or something. Maybe they have someone who doesn't appreciate what they did? Because even though it's "easy", it's still challenging. I think a lot of women don't have, or don't realize they have, the support they need.

    Or I could be really wrong. Anyway, you guys are too cute. I'm so glad it's all going great for you. And I love how happy June looks with her grandma. Peaceful.

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  3. Awww!! Enjoy your time with that sweet little bundle, especially that extra time with the hubby there--it's like a sleepover every night with your favorite people!!! Congrats!

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  4. June is a total doll!! Beautiful!!

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  5. You make me excited for one day! It's so nice to hear a sweet story instead of all the "prepare you" ones ha ha. And you look absolutely gorgeous. Motherhood is great on you!

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  6. Your family is so adorable! June is so adorable! And so tiny! wow! :) Adeline was 8 lbs 12 ounces! And she pooped as soon as she was born (thats my girl!) so they said she weighed more. haha! :) I can't imagine how sweet and tiny June is!! (hopefully that isn't annoying when I say she is so tiny) :)

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    1. PS- I love your blog, and I look forward to reading your blog! I get so excited to read your blog! It is a little embarssasing. :) hehe. Your writing is amazing. It pulls me in, always keeps me wanting more! Just wanted to share! :)

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  7. Thanks for sharing this lovely! So refreshing to hear such a real, raw and honest post about the positives! Of course every experience is different but the way you gave light to the fears and the outcome is beautiful. Congrats again - she is stunning!

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  8. She is sooooo adorable. Glad to hear things are going well for you!

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  9. This is wonderful. There will always be hard times, but there will be enough amazing and sweet times to balance them all out. Enjoy your time with the newborn - one thing that will definitely happen is that it will go fast. But every new stage with my tot has been my favorite because they're all just as awesome as the last.

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  10. It is so absolutely refreshing to hear your positive experience and thoughts as a new mommy. I feel like all people tell you about is the scary/not so great stuff and it's nice to be reminded that sometimes it is the dream come true you know it will be :) Congratulations!

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  11. This is actually really encouraging! We aren't anywhere close to having kids but I have managed to convince myself that pregnancy + birthing + the 1st six weeks are miserable and my life is over. So thanks for bringing that reality that everyone is different! Now I'm gonna start praying God gives me grace and my first one is easy..

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  12. I just had my first six months ago. I did have SOME trauma after delivering her, we had breastfeeding problems, and I had a hard time recovering. I still loved everything about that time. Sacred is exactly what it is/was. It doesn't last long, enjoy the stillness. I was surprised by how amazing marriage was and even more surprised with how I FELL IN LOVE with motherhood. I think it's a bit of a shame that our society is so caught up with sharing warnings and "preparing" us. I think the good needs to be shared so much more!!!

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  13. I'm so glad you are having such a great experience!! As someone who had a hard time with the first month of motherhood, I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But motherhood is awesome, no matter what the initial experiences are.

    Irish twins for you, maybe? :)

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  14. My first had awful colic and was tongue tied and I was still teaching and it was so hard so when my daughter was born I thought I was totally prepared. I steeled myself for the late nights and colic episodes, and... They never came! Eventually I too learned to relax and enjoy my good luck with an easy baby who slept at night and nursed well. Enjoy that baby!!!

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  15. Bon thanks for sharing! Honestly pregnancy scares the living crap out of me because I've heard it all as well. and I'm just expecting the worst! I will remember this post and know that not everything will go wrong and if It does, I will have a family in the end of it all! :)

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  16. It's so refreshing to read this post.
    Also, how long do you get for mat leave there? in Canada we get 1 year.

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  17. I'm so thrilled for you! She is so cute and tiny.

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  18. I am so glad to hear this...you have no idea. The whole baby phase is freaking.me.out and the fact that people like sharing the horror stories has not helped! Although, my kid will still probably be high maintenance, unless they take after their father ;)

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  19. I'm so glad things are going smoothly for you! This is such an awesome time - even with all of the little bumps along the way.

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  20. Junebug is so petite! What a little beauty! You give me hope that all things baby aren't terrible! :)

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  21. honestly? i was "ready" for another baby very soon after having my baby too. and i felt like a complete CRAZY person for even thinking that! so i didn't say it out loud very much ;) babies are pretty much the bees knees. and even though i've now got a 9.5 month old and she's moving and loud and let's me know when she's not happy with me - she's the best thing i ever did and i'd NEVER change it and i still want another one soon. so there ya go.

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  22. Love reading positive stories about having kids. Makes me not as afraid for when it happens WAYYYYY down the road for me.

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  23. I can't blame you...she's just so precious!! love her!
    Andie's Traveling Pants

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  24. I have totally taken the horror stories to heart and it's so refreshing to read a post like this. She is so tiny and precious!

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  25. So glad you're loving motherhood, I know from your blog posts it was a big decision to go off birth control but it sounds like such a rewarding one!

    guesswhathollie.blogspot.co.uk

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  26. I was planning my third child while in the delivery room with the second! Totally normal lol

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