The Life of Bon: How do you get your baby to fall asleep without your help?

Monday, October 13, 2014

How do you get your baby to fall asleep without your help?



I love me a sleeping June.  It's about the cutest thing in the world.  My heart melts, my insides turn to puddy, and every little thing that's been annoying me throughout the day suddenly doesn't seem so important anymore.  All is right in the world when you're staring at a perfect sleeping babe.

Unfortunately, getting June to sleep isn't always such bliss.  The past couple of weeks she has given us a run for our money when it comes time to go down.  When she was just a newborn she would fall asleep anywhere, anytime and she would stay asleep.  Now that she's growing up a bit (it makes me want to cry just typing that) she doesn't fall asleep quite as easily.  If we're in the car she'll always konk out, and she loves to fall asleep in my arms when nursing.  That's the thing with June, though, the naps are always on her terms.  Her timing.  Her place.  If she gets to choose the conditions, yah, sure, she'll sleep like a dream.  But when it comes time for sleep on my terms- at 7:30 pm in the bassinet- she will have none of it.  Don't get me wrong, June will eventually fall asleep at bedtime, but not without the deluxe treatment.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  The bouncing, the rocking, the shh-shh-shhing in her ear. The holding of the pacifier, the cuddling close, the half an hour of pacing and rocking and soothing.  And don't even think about putting June down until she is in a heavy, deep, almost comatose state of sleep.  If you put her down a minute too soon, she'll wake up and start crying, wanting to be cuddled and rocked and soothed all over again.

I am making it sound worse than it is, I'm sure.  June is a really good baby.  Which is why I've been so alarmed the past couple weeks at her growing insistence that she be held and rocked to go to sleep.  The first couple of months she would fall asleep in my arms right after our last night nursing session, and when I put her in her bassinet, she stayed asleep.  Now she isn't as sleepy as she was as a newborn, and getting her to sleep that deeply has proved itself to be a lot of work.

Before I had June I was sure I would be a "cry it out" parent.  Just throw the baby in the crib and let her figure it out on her own, it won't kill the babe!  I still think along those lines- essentially that the baby needs to learn to self soothe- but putting it into practice is so much easier said than done.  June is still so little, and when I put her down and she immediately starts crying at the top of her lungs it absolutely breaks my heart.  She's just an itty bitty baby- I can't leave her by herself in there to just cry and cry!  I normally try it for ten minutes (and one time even did twenty minutes), but it is to no avail.  She is still screaming, and after listening to my baby cry for that long, all resolve is gone and I run to soothe her.  When I run to comfort her, I am mad at myself because I feel like I am creating bad habits- training my baby to need me to go to sleep.  But then I don't want to let her "cry it out" for an hour because she's still so little.  But if I continue to rock her and soothe her to sleep then I'm afraid that I will just further encourage the bad habits and create some kind of terrible June monster!  I don't want no June monster!

It is really important to me to have a baby who is a good sleeper.  I know some of that is just luck, but I have always believed that you could train and teach a baby to become a good sleeper.  Maybe I was just being naive?

How do you get your baby to fall asleep by him or herself?  Is three months just too young to try to start training?  Should I be punished for even trying to get my child to self soothe so early?  Or am I making it harder and harder on myself every time I rock her to sleep?  Should I give her more than 10 minutes to fall asleep on her own?

(But seriously, is there anything better than a baby falling asleep in your arms?)
(But seriously, is there anything worse than a baby who demands to be rocked for half an hour for every nap and bedtime?)

70 comments:

  1. I LOVE that our babies are SOOO close in age because all these questions are ones that I have too! However, you have a way of writing it so it doesn't sound like complaining and "woe is me", which is what I'm afraid of. I'll definitely be reading these comments because Rhys has been acting the same way. I actually went to the library and checked out a lot of books on baby sleeping, including one on Baby Love Languages. I am sure Rhys's is physical touch (interesting because even as a baby, I wasn't much of a cuddler, according to my mom). But, from what I've been reading, between 3-4 months, babies have somewhat of a sleep "regression". Not a true one, but since they are hitting sooo many milestones in these two months, it's gonna be tough. We've had a tough few past nights, so it'll be interesting to see what veteran moms have to say.

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  2. Oh sleeping babes! My boy (now 2) sleeps well and predictably, though it took us a bit of work to get there. We didn't try any official "sleep training" until Asher was about five months old, then we tried a modified cry-it-out. (I referenced the Baby Whisperer on this, and looking past the name, the methods jived with my parenting vibes.) I also highly value a self-soother, and I also hate it when my kid is sad.


    The thing to remember is that all that work you put in to teach your kid how to sleep--however you decide to do it--will pay off. And if it's a priority for you now (as it has always been for me) then you'll get to know June even better and be able to discern what will work for your family and what won't. And someday, you will have a babe who sleeps predictably and well. I never thought it would happen, but now at 2, Asher still has solid afternoon naps, and I get uninterrupted sleep most nights! The books I found most helpful were The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (a little boasting, if I do say so myself) and Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. (I also liked Babywise for its direction on establishing routine. I didn't follow Babywise to the letter, but I did successfully implement the wake-sleep-play cycle.)


    Good luck! (And sorry this was such a long-winded comment. Goodness, Charlotte. Pull it together.)

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  3. I didn't try and get my daughter to fall asleep on her own until 7 months or so. She used to always nurse to sleep, and then I would put her down. When I changed it, I would nurse her somewhere lit so she would stay awake, but would be drowsy, and then I put her down.


    As for schedules, know that at her age she will probably be an an hour and a half cycle. Wake up, eat, play, and then sleep in an hour and a half. Soon it'll stretch to 3 hours between. She should be getting a solid 3 naps during the day (morning, afternoon, early evening). Know that bedtime should happen 90 minutes or longer after the last nap.


    I'm not a fan of cry it out, but it was never effective on my daughter. She still wakes up several times a night at almost 3, but she's an anomaly ;)

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  4. We used "The Baby Whisperer" book to help us establish a sleep pattern for our kids- it was a miracle! Our little girl is now 5 (ugh!) and she's been sleeping 12-14 hours a night since she was June's age, with regular naps (well no naps anymore unfortunately!). We were much lazier about it with our son (almost 2), and he's definitely not the sleeper his big sis is. Not terrible, but I definitely noticed a difference when we didn't put in as much effort.


    Having "good sleepers" has always been really important to me. Having 3 hours each night of husband/wife/no kid time is a must for me :). 7:30p-10:30p is sacred time around our house, so we put in the work early on and it's paid off.


    Baby Whisper fell right in line with my own philosophies and it just made so much sense to me.

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  5. I don't remember exactly when I discovered that my daughter could fall asleep on her own but I do know that I was definitely going to CIO and then I definitely did not enjoy being broken hearted by those wails every night so I just couldn't. There's a lot that is trial and error and figuring out what works best for you and June. Try to stay away from "exactly perfect" conditions because it could create a problem with June being able to fall asleep anywhere under any conditions and that is really what you should be aiming for (especially if she is currently in your room and will eventually need to transition to her own room). I found, what seemed to work best for us, is a schedule. My daughter seems to thrive under a schedule but some kids done. We also tried to make it so she can be flexible if we have something going on during sleep time but she does nap/sleep better if its around the same time every day. Sometimes moving it is unavoidable, but most times it can be easy to work around since you'll know when she'll be hungry/tired/etc. & it'll evolve as June evolves - everything will. Don't feel discouraged if you think you've got something figured out and then it suddenly doesn't work anymore. You'll adapt and so will she. Good luck!

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  6. A friend of mine uses this with great success The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night https://www.amazon.com/dp/0071381392/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_nyspub0SYJ56P

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  7. It can be frustrating! And then you feel like poop because you're mad at yourself for being frustrated with a BABY! We used Babywise (the main premise being that babies eat, are awake, then sleep-- they learn to go to sleep on their own without nursing). Both my girls did awesome with it but still hit wall around June's age and we had to cry it out. My sister did the 10-15 minute, go give paci approach. I knew if I went in the room and they saw me I would feel like I were betraying them, so I didn't go in at all. Blythe cried for 30-45 minutes. Becks cried for over an hour. It was miserable. But by the next nap, it was less. The next nap. Even less. The next day? Almost nothing. This is when both started consistently sleeping through night as well. Set yourself a timer because 1 minutes

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  8. Can feel like 20. For me, just seeing that they progressed by 5 minutes for the next nap helped, because I knew it was helping. Make sense?

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  9. We tried crying it out between 2-3 months and it was a nightmare. We tried again right around the 4 month mark and it went much better. It is so so so hard to listen to them cry but it is so worth it when they sleep 12 hours each night and are looking for a place to lay down at bed time. We also used Babywise and it was great for establishing a routine so he knew what to expect. Good Luck! My almost 2 year old sleeps 12 hours each night and still takes a 3 hour nap during the day.

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  10. Axel was like that, but from day one. I just let him nurse to sleep until he was 5 months. I tried not to, but when you have a toddler to chase sometimes you just don't care, and just need the baby to SLEEP! But June still cries when you put her down? I would try putting her down drowsy but awake. And when she cries give it 5 minutes. And then calm her down and put her down drowsy but awake again. And give it 5 minutes. See if she'll eventually calm herself down. Training your baby to self soothe (with or with out crying it out) takes SO MUCH EFFORT at first, but it pays off in the long run.

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  11. My little one is a year-old now and her sleep is still not the best but what we have found through a ton of trial and error is that consistency is key. Aim to have naps and bedtime at the same time if possible and a routine is really helpful. We have a simple little bedtime routine that we have had since she was about 3-months-old. I make up my own lyrics to Raffi's "Brush Your Teeth" and we brush her teeth (wipe her gums), we kiss everyone goodnight, put on some classical music, turn on a fan (she really likes noise), give her a little bit of milk and when she is drowsy she goes into the crib. She has a little bit of cry it out time on occasion, but I think we're getting better because she knows the drill at this point.

    The one thing I have learned is that kids keep you on your toes. Right when you think you have this whole sleep thing down you realize that you don't. It's really annoying now, but it won't be this way forever. . .or so I've been told.

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  12. I had the same problems with Abbie - she just didn't want to put herself to sleep. While I'm a big fan of sleep training, three months is just too young. Every book I read said to wait until at least 4 months, but I personally wouldn't try until 6. I toughed it out until 8 months (she randomly slept through the night for about a month from 6-7 months before starting to wake up A LOT again), then did Ferber method sleep training. It worked amazingly - she's put herself to sleep for naps and at night and slept through the night every night since.


    Make sure you've got a good bedtime routine going - it helps a lot. I'd also recommend blackout curtains for her room and a white noise machine - it's a good symbol to her that it's dark and the noise is on, and it's time to sleep. For now, I'd just push through and enjoy the snuggles, then try sleep training when she's a bit older. When you get to that point, definitely feel free to reach out if you need help with it! (I also wrote a post about our experience, so if you want I can dig around and find the link to that to send you.)

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  13. Go Run 3 - They're very cute! Also, totally legit to honk if the person is in the 'express lane' and poking along. I have seen people drive an entire stretch of highway in that lane that should really move to the right ....

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  14. Honestly - just enjoy it. Do what your heart says, it's different for each parent & each child. With my oldest, I loved letting him nap on me, forced to stay put so I didn't wake him. When my second came along, the poor thing rarely got naps on me. I was too busy chasing a toddler and if by some odd chance they were both sleeping at the same time....I had a million things to try to get done.

    So just enjoy it. Store each memory of the weight of her, the sound of her, the smell of her sleeping in your arms. Because before you know it, she'll be sleeping all by herself and you'll wonder where those endless nights went to.

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  15. My baby slept amazingly well until three months... Game changer. We must definitely DO NOT have a good sleeper and our situation is unique... But everything I've read from the more gentle sleep training books says three months is WAY too young. Six months is at least the point. Plus, if she's not waking frequently after you help her to sleep, I would say do it. She'll grow up soon enough... If she'll still sleep after nursing her... Cuddle her. I thought I'd be a cry it out parent, too, but I've found out that I most definitely am not. Crying is her way of telling me she needs me and my gut reaction is to tend to her. I could go on and on as I've READ SO MUCH about this topic is was actually becoming toxic for me.

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  16. I started trying to get my little lady to sleep on her own around 4 or 5 months. Before that she just did not seem ready. It is totally up to you and how you feel. We did CIO where I went in to soothe at 5 minute lengthening intervals. That way I felt better about soothing her a little and she knew she was not all on her own.

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  17. We're on the same page. My baby is 6 months old, and our pediatrician told us yesterday that we waited too long to sleep train. The earlier, the better. Let her cry it out- he said it can take up to 3 hours of straight crying, but you have to let them do it. It's miserable, I KNOW. He said not to give her a pacifier, swaddling, bouncing, white noise, nothing! Anything to rely on is what she'll rely on for a long time and will make it so much more difficult to wean her off of later. Let her cry it out for a few days, and she'll sleep through the night and immediately become a self-soother and fall asleep all on her own. It totally sucks- but we did it last night (my daughter cried for an hour & a half) and she slept 12 hours straight! Good luck! You can do it!

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  18. This just solidifies for me that there's no exact science or medical proof... Our pediatrician is the exact opposite. He recommends not making them cry until a year if that. And I love him for it. My daughter cried the one time we tried for forty minutes and woke up forty minutes later. I COULD NOT do it again.

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  19. Hey I read a great book called 12 hours by 12 weeks...I used this with all my kids ... 3 of them sleeping 12 hours a night by 10 weeks, 11 weeks, and 12 weeks. the book is simple and to the point...no crying out...a little fussing...but you sooth them.... Also once baby is sleeping through the night you can rock her to sleep twice a week...with out her becoming attached.

    If you check this out...I promise it will be work and you will sleep less than you ever have...but stay with it...it works :)

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  20. Oh boy. Add this to the list of a billion reasons that having a child terrifies me. :) I know it will be great, but that workload....

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  21. I hate sleep issues - hardest part of parenting for me so far. Sleeping advice can be overwhelming and I can't tell you how many hours I've wasted reading sleep boards and while so a little helpful, honestly a waste of time for me. I think it comes down to you doing whatever is right for you and your baby. And to know that even if you "sleep train" a baby, a month later it could totally change. I think I thought once we let Addilyn "cry it out" once and got her to go to sleep easily at night it was a done deal. Turns out she goes through phases of having to relearn things and struggles and its up and down with sleep. So no major sleep advice, but I wish I would've have wasted (and still do waste so much time) worrying about what i should and shouldn't be doing with Addilyn's sleep!
    forlaurenandlauren.blogspot.com

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  22. In my experience, CIO was the only way to teach my baby to self-soothe. And it saved my life and sanity.
    I started at 4 months, but wished I had started at 3 (when my pediatrician said to start). I, like you, wrestled with the emotional exhaustion that comes with trying to decide what is best. Finally at 4 months, after avoiding my doctor's advice and suffering for a month, I began laying Graham down to sleep on his own. I did a bedtime routine first - bath, lotion, pajamas, milk, reading, songs. Then I told him I loved him and I'd see him in the morning.
    It took about a week. The first night he cried for over an hour and a half. The next night, 45 minutes, the next night, 30 minutes, and so on, until finally one night he fussed for one minute and then went right to sleep. During that week, I watched Parenthood with headphones. There was no way I could sleep while he cried, so I stayed up and distracted myself.
    I did not let myself go into the room. I knew he was safe. I knew he was full. I knew he was tired. The interesting thing is when babies are that old, their bodies can sustain themselves through the night without midnight feedings. They don't actually need nighttime sustenance; they just want it because they are used to it.
    It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I was crying right along with him, and I had to sleep during the day to catch up, and I took cookies to our neighbors to apologize for the noise. But it was so worth it. Since the CIO, Graham sleeps from 8 to 8 with no issue.
    Good luck Bonnie!

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  23. My lil guy developed some acid reflux at two weeks which causes him to wake up when I lay him flat at night now, so he sleeps in my arms as well. It might be a factor in her sudden change.

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  24. You're going to get lots of feedback on this and much of it will contradict what other people say. My philosophy is they are all right! What works perfectly for one parent and baby will not work in a million years for another parent and baby. Personally, i hated reading all the sleep training books because they all made me feel like a complete and utter failure, no matter what I tried. But I know lots of people who swear by them. Which is great! My best advice is to arm yourself with information and ideas, but then trust yourself to make the decision that is best for your family. It might sounds cheesy, but it wasn't until I made it a matter of prayer and started to trust the inspiration that I received that I started to feel any sort of peace about the process. I wish I could offer you the silver bullet that would fix any and every sleep issue from now until eternity, but I just don't think it exists. That realization was extremely aggravating for me ("Just tell me what to do and I'll do it!") but I really think that's what it comes down to. Good luck! I know you'll figure it out!

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  25. Oh I feel your pain and frustration Kathy-Lee was not one to sleep when I would wanted her to and it would make me cry with frustration it was worse when I would spend hours well it felt like hours trying to get her to settle and Tim would walk in take her and she would be asleep in minutes and stay asleep when he put her in her bassinet. In fact I ended up at night feeding her the last of her bottle while she was in her bassinet as that way she wouldn't wake as soon as I put her down.

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  26. I don't have kids yet but I have nannied for years and many of the families I have watched their kids since they were born until they were out of diapers. I truly don't think it is too early to start elf soothing. You don't have to go all out necessarily but waiting it out for awhile and being consistent with that will help. I know with my little nanny boy right now, getting in a routine is so important for him. His dad is a physician and he raves about self soothing. I think starting now and working up to completely letting her self soothe after 6 months or so would be beneficial. I agree with you, I think you can train your child for them to be good sleepers…so might just be more difficult than others!

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  27. My babe is 2 months and this book is THE BEST. http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Sleep-Solution-Program/dp/0399532919 ... the only negative thing about the book is that the author is pro-formula/bottle feeding during training so you know how much your baby is getting. I still nurse but I pump the bedtime bottle and always make sure she's getting 4oz+ so she'll stay asleep until at least 3:00am.

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  28. this could also give you a chance to build bottles for the next day at work. Pump at midnight and 2:00. It's wonderful.

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  29. Swaddle and pacifier. Orrrrr… pacifier and tummy. I hate to say that, because it's so taboo now, but babies sleep so well on their bellies! That's how our parents' generation did it. That was sooo comfortable for James. He slept very well on top of his handmade blankie, on his belly with a pacifier

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  30. My son is only a month old, so I'm still learning myself. We have let Trey "cry it out" only once before and it was for less than 5 minutes. I agree that it is really hard to not pick up your baby and if that's what you want to do, do it! I literally just read this interesting article about how babies are too young to "self soothe": http://t.co/TIz66eA7ED

    I am just taking it day by day and doing what feels right in the moment.

    Oh, a nurse told me that babies don't realize they're "born" until about 8 weeks -- June may be coming to this realization and anxiety about that would make her want more comfort.

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  31. Good luck, mama. I remember this phase well. The best advice I can give is that it IS just a phase. She will self-soothe eventually, you'll get there. Just keep trying different tactics till one works for you. There's no magic answer.

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  32. The white noise machine is great! It helps her so much. I love the idea of going in every five minutes or so- doesn't feel so much like you are deserting them!

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  33. Love the comment! It's great! I have been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child but I feel like it's all over the place in terms of suggestions- it presents a million different roads to go down without necessarily saying which one works best. It's almost like it's afraid of offending someone's idea so it counts all ideas as good ideas. I'm only about 100 pages in, maybe it gets better as it goes.

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  34. The hour and half cycle is a great guide. I've been trying to do that and feel like she's been sleeping better since. It is weird because I never feel like she has been up very long, but then when I put her down she falls right back to sleep!

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  35. 12-14 hours a night? That's incredible! This week we started putting June down way earlier (about 7 pm instead of 10 pm) and it is crazy how much longer the night seems. So nice to have some of that time to ourselves. and she is still waking up at the same time each morning.

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  36. You are awesome! Thank you for suggestions. I like that you said not to have absolutely rigid conditions- that is what is stressing me out right now.

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  37. Love the checking every five minutes! Definitely makes it seem like you haven't so much abandoned your child.

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  38. The sound machine has worked wonders! I'm just a little nervous about creating sleep dependencies. i don't want her to HAVE to have the sound machine to go to sleep, but I guess that is better than her screaming all night.

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  39. Awesome suggestion. Thanks casie!

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  40. Yes, exactly! I feel so mad at myself when I'm mad at a teeny tiny baby that can't fend for herself at all. I love the Babywise cycle. I try to do that too. I can't believe you lasted over an hour with Blythe- I don't know if I have that kind of will power. Right now June will fall asleep sometimes in five minutes but then the next night takes 30 minutes. That's what's frustrating to me- it doesn't feel like we are making significant progress.

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  41. interesting! Maybe I just need to give her another month or so.

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  42. Does he keep the pacifier in? June will sleep with a pacifier in but only if I am holding it in her mouth. As soon as I move my hand she spits it out.

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  43. Haha. It's a lot less work than teaching, I'll tell you that much. And a lot more fun.

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  44. The thing is June won't even nurse to sleep if I wanted her to. she'll fall asleep, but then as soon as I put her down she's wide awake. I love the five minute approach- doesn't feel so much like I'm abandoning her.

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  45. Love that you have a "drill". I think that is what is missing for us- a consistent bed time routine.

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  46. Bahaha! i love that you are on my side with this. Everyone else said that honking was inappropriate.

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  47. Such a beautiful comment. Thank you. I do love a sleeping baby on me.

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  48. Definitely going to get some kind of bedtime routine going. What is the Ferber method of sleep training? I don't know that I can stand to wait as long as eight months- I am way too impatient!

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  49. Bahaha. "read so much about this topic it was actually becoming toxic for me."---> i could totally see that happening to me too. i'm somewhat obsessed with it.

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  50. Love the five minute approach.

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  51. THREE HOURS OF STRAIGHT CRYING?!? I would die. There is no way I could last that long. Even an hour sounds like torture for me. I understand the part about not giving them anything to rely on, but it seems so tough to really do. To me there doesn't seem much harm in swaddling a baby if that makes them sleep so much better. I'm also a big fan of the noise machine.

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  52. I love that you can rock them to sleep twice a week without them becoming attached. Sometimes I just want to rock and hold my little baby!

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  53. I've seen some of your posts on this- I know it's something that has been important to you. I also totally get your point on how children have to learn and relearn. Is she sleeping consistently now? Maybe I'll just mellow out about it for a little while and trust that we'll get there when we get there.

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  54. Great post Aubrey! you give me hope that I actually do it. For me what's tough about June is that she isn't decreasing the time it takes each night. the first night she went down in twenty minutes and then the next night it took her almost an hour! It is frustrating when I don't feel like I am seeing the progress. And YES on the headphones. It kills me to have to listen to her.

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  55. Interesting! I never thought about this- I will definitely look into it.

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  56. Great suggestion, Carly. Definitely need to make it more a matter of prayer, like you said.

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  57. Great idea with the bottle in the bassinet! That way you don't actually have to pick her up and set her down.

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  58. Thank you for the vote of confidence Taylor! We are definitely trying a few subtle things this week and seeing some success.

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  59. Good idea to pump the nighttime feeding so you know exactly how much she is getting! I don't think I could make myself wake up and pump at midnight and 2:00 for all the money in the world.

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  60. Excellent suggestions! Yes, I think one month is probably too early but at 3 months I feel like June is already catching on to a few things. When she is crying and I go in she stops crying as soon as she sees me so that tells me she isn't really in need, she just wants to hang out with me instead of nap.

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  61. Thank you so much, Vanessa! I appreciate this.

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  62. no not really. she was doing okay and then came molars and she was up twice a night for quite a few weeks. we also found out that she has acid reflux which causes her to cough a lot when laying down which wakes her up. and I'm sure makes it more uncomfortable to sleep. add that to weight gain issues and I just figure if she's nurses some at night at least she's getting extra calories. another point that every baby is different and needs different things!

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  63. BUT I have to add she almost always goes to sleep easily on her own at 7:30. thanks to letting her cry some when she was six months old. of course she goes through phases where she doesn't want to go to sleep or it takes her awhile to fall asleep. But it's really nice to count on that time to have time to ourselves.

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  64. With Kathy it helped a lot I would get her out change her nappy and feed her most of her bottle while nursing her and put her back in the bassinet for the last few mouthfuls and that would settle her, otherwise I would put her back after her bottle and she would cry and wake and I would have to try and settle her again.

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  65. Excellent advice.

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  66. I was just having the conversation last night with some other moms that three and four months are the worst in the sleep training department. Hang in there. It will get easier and she will figure it out. I always had to tell myself after like 20 minutes "if I go in now, I made her go through that for no reason". That helped me hang in there. :) You'll do the best you can do for her and that's what's best. If it works for you, no matter what method you choose, then it works ;).

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  67. Ya! I pick Rhys up from his babysitter's in West Jordan around 3:40, so any time after that!

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  68. We started sleep training REALLY early. And it works wonders - we did Mom's on Call. McKenna now naps at the same time every day and she is asleep on her on at 8:45 PM every night - in her crib in her room - and she is asleep till 5:30 AM when we wake her up in the morning. She is 13 weeks old and we have had this routine since she was about 8 weeks.

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  69. Here you go! http://www.mommylifeafterphd.com/2014/02/please-go-to-sleep-7-tips-for-getting.html

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  70. We started our bedtime routine shortly before I went back to work and kept it simple: bath, nurse, bed. I knew she didn't need a bath every night, but we did it anyway so it would be part of the routine. We added in books and things later.

    You definitely don't have to wait all the way to 8 months - I'm definitely going to do it earlier for future kids. I would however, recommend waiting until at least 4 months. All the books I read said a minimum of 4-6 months. That said, you know June best and what will work for her. By four months, she should be able to go longer stretches.

    The Ferber method of sleep training in basic terms is a gentler version of cry it out. You do bedtime routine, put baby down in the crib, and leave the room. She'll probably cry. Wait 3 minutes, and if she's still crying, go in and soothe her - without picking her up. Then leave again and increase the interval to 5 minutes, then 7 minutes, and so forth. It teaches baby that you're still there, but also gives them the chance to learn how to fall asleep on their own.

    I kept a log of our experience when I did it, and it's here: http://www.beingmrsbeer.com/2013/09/the-sleep-chronicles-our-story/ In that post, I mention the books I read that helped. Good luck and definitely reach out to me if you have questions!



    I also did a series of moms' sleep stories, so if you want more perspectives, click "the sleep chronicles" at the top of my blog. Hope that helps!

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