The Life of Bon: What Would You Do: Teacher Edition!

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

What Would You Do: Teacher Edition!

This was my classroom at my old school.  It was gigantic.  I miss its size.  But my new room has the sunshine pouring in in the morning, so should we call it a wash?

Time for another round of What Would You Do?- the truly riveting blog series where I tell you a very common and sometimes mundane situation in my life and you tell me what you would do in the same situation.  Past editions include not getting a discount at H&M and reacting when a man in a Wal-mart parking lot tells me how to load my baby in the car.  See?  Riveting!

This week's edition is the Teacher Edition!  You know, kind of like Teacher week on Jeopardy only there's a lot less money involved. (Sidenote: My dream is to be on Jeopardy someday, but I am nowhere near smart enough.  My little sister is definitely smart enough so I've been trying to convince her for years to audition.  I told her I'd even train her if she gives me 10% of her winnings.  She said 5% after taxes and I said no thank you, you're too cheap.)

We just finished The Crucible in my class, and today I had the students do a little research on what in the play is real life history versus what parts in the play are made up to make it more interesting.  We spent a bit of time talking about how to tell the difference between reliable and non reliable websites (Smoot.com- not reliable!  Yahooanswers- also not reliable!  Total buzz kill for those kids, I know) and then we were off to the computer lab, to research their little brains out.

I have one student who instead of working on the assignment sat at a computer in the back and doodled.

"Yo dude, where's your table you're supposed to be filling out?"  I try to act all casual in front of the students, but trust me I'm freaking out inside whenever they are just blatantly ignoring classroom instructions.

"Hmmm?  Table?"  He replied lazily, as if I hadn't just spent the last five minutes explaining what they were supposed to be doing.

"Your table that you're supposed to be working on.  Where is it?"

"Oh, that.  I think I left it upstairs."

"Do you want to go up to the classroom and get another copy?  They're sitting on my desk."

"Nah.  I'm good."

"You're failing my class, you know." I tried to push him. "This is a core class- you need it to graduate.  I'd love to see you pass the quarter, but you're not going to pass if you don't do the assignments."

He shrugged his shoulders and continued doodling.

I stared at him, wondering what I should do for a minute and then I just gave it up. I left him alone and instead wandered around the room, checking on other students.  Once I was sure everyone else was successfully working on the assignment, I sat down and graded papers.  My doodler was at a computer close to me.  I noticed that he finished his doodle and then began googling random sentences to see what google would suggest he search.  He wasn't distracting any of the other students, so I let him be.

I never quite know what to do in situations like this.  Should I force my students to do the work?  They are already forced to sit in my classroom, might as well force them to work on the assignment?  Should I have insisted he go upstairs and get the table, and then should I have sat next to him and worked with him step by step until he finished the assignment?  Is that what "good" teachers do?  Or was it okay that I just let him doodle, allowing him at 17 years old to make his own choice?  (Or is the fact that he wasn't interested in the assignment a clear indicator that obviously my assignments are way too boring?)  A lot of the other students noticed that he wasn't doing the assignment, and I'm sure they wondered why it was okay that he did nothing while they had to do work, but I didn't say anything and they didn't ask.

This year at my school our method of being evaluated has changed.  When we are evaluated, our administrators will be looking to see if our students are "actively engaged" "passively engaged" or "off task."  Ideally, a good teacher shouldn't have any students "off task."  Welp, my student was absolutely off task today.  And I was fully aware, and decided to let it happen.  I guess the question I always wonder is where is the line in teaching.  At what point do I expect the students to show initiative and drive and what point do I step in and make them just do the dang work?  If I let him doodle am I being a lazy teacher?  Or are they mature enough to make their own decisions?

So tell me, What Would You Do?

Related post I wrote last year:  I Let My Students Fail My Class.

47 comments:

  1. Um, exactly how would you "force" him to do the assignment? If I were you, I wouldn't have any interaction/altercation with him in the classroom where other students are. If he totally disses you, like it sounded like he did, it may appear that he one upped you to the other students, that you lost the power struggle. Clearly this student knew what he was supposed to be doing and blatantly disregarded the assignment. So, he gets a 0. That's the end of it. I wouldn't say a thing to him, he just has to deal with the consequence. Plus don't worry about what the other students think, they don't want to be that kid who gets a 0! If you really want to reach out to him, I would talk to him privately… ask him to stay after class or come in after school and have a one-on-one with him. I found those to be much more effective than when they have an audience.

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  2. Bon, this hits so close to home, except that I teach 4th grade and am having this problem. I have a student who has a behavior IEP (and a behavior plan) but I am not obligated to give him any academic modifications. He is so bright that he figured out that the 10 minutes of "reward" time he is slotted to get at the end of the day (if he's finished all his work) isn't worth it. He'd MUCH rather sit and do nothing for an hour in my class and have all that time to himself than earn a measly 10 minutes. It's driving me crazy, because if I push him about it, he'll scream and cry and flail around, disturbing my other 19 students, but if I don't, then I'm not only allowing him to avoid the work, but am also essentially failing as a teacher, since I'm letting a 9 year old dictate whether or not he completes an assignment and therefore choose to get a very low grade. This biz is hard!

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  3. Yes, you could start a discussion with him and yell and be frustrated. But you would be "the bad, strict, unfriendly teacher" and he would be the victim, even when he does the wrong thing.
    Telling him he would fail if he did not do his work was a very good move: You warned him about the consequences in time.
    Telling him he could go and get a new sheet of paper was also good: You gave him the opportunity to do the right thing.
    He doesn't care about the consequences? He does not want to do the right thing? Okay, teenagers always say they are all grown up. Well, part of it is to take the responsibilities of one's actions. If he's all grown up, he has to face the consequences.
    All in all: Well done, Bon!

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  4. I was on the Teachers Tournament for Jeopardy last year! True story. Super fun. And as a middle school teacher, I do make my kids do the work. I don't yell or show frustration, but they also know my expectations for them, so even when they choose not to do the work, I have a system of consequences in place (lunch detention and a parent email home, things they HATE) that give them a place to work during lunch and hold them accountable.

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  5. I'm a teacher myself and have been in situations like this (as every teacher has, I'm sure). I would have done what you did: make him aware of the consequences of his actions and then leave him alone if he is not disturbing anyone else.
    I try to have conversations with students like this outside of the classroom. Sometimes I can reach them - sometimes I can't. It makes me upset, but not as upset as it used to. (I've only been teaching for 3 years, it's not like I have tons of experience...) And I find that I put in more effort the younger the student is. It might be wrong, but if I start teaching a student that is not doing any of his work and he is already 17 or 18 I feel like he has already been lost a long time before I started teaching him.
    Something I make sure I do is speaking to other teachers - especially the student's tutor. (I don't know about the American school system, but where I teach every student has a 'class teacher' or tutor depending on their age who is kind of responsible for the student and who is in touch with the partents more regularly when there is a problem.) The tutor can usually tell you how the student is performing in other classes and might also sit him down and talk to him and maybe inform the parents if necessary. I would not feel comfortable not to inform anyone about a student that is about to fail a class. But after that I think it is up to the student - especially if he is already 17 or older.

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  6. It's such a hard situation to be in. You want the student to succeed, but forcing them to do the work won't help them learn. At least I don't think. But I know sometimes when I just let a student go do their own thing where it's not a good choice, I feel like I'm failing them by not trying to "make" them do the right thing. But I also feel like he made his own choice there and really, how can you force them? You told him the consequences and he made the choice to not follow your advice. As for the other students, I think they know he's not making the right choice. Since they didn't question you not "making" him do the work, I think it shows to an extent they get it. I think you did the best you could in this situation.

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  7. I think you did the right thing, you didn't just ignore his behavior overall. You addressed it and gave him the opportunity to participate and succeed, but at the end of the day 17 years old is old enough to choose on your own if you will be engaged or not. I would continue to offer him support and encourage him to do assignments but making a scene and forcing him won't do much good will it? I applaud you for being a teacher, I don't know how I would handle times like this one!

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  8. I probably shouldn't even be answering this. I do not have the patience for it. If he wants to fail, I would totally let him, it is not my (your?) job to pass him, or make sure he passes, it is his job to put the effort it. See why I am not a teacher? The classroom is a place where you learn and you get work done, if he was not working, I would have totally kicked him out. In the "real world" if you do not do your work you are fired, it should be the same in the classroom.. Wow, I sure am a hard ass and I am sure teenagers everywhere are grateful I am not their teacher.

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  9. I typically make extra copies of assignments for times like these and keep them with me. I would've given him an extra copy I had, sat down and said, "Let's do the first one together." We would've done it together, then I would've left him to decide to finish or not since I got him engaged.

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  10. I am in my second year of having a life...being retired...after teaching 5th grade for 33 years. Your reader responses are great! I always took 2 or 3 assignment copies when we went somewhere else to work, as well as sharpened pencils. If, after you've tried everything...DOCUMENT!!! Write down name, date, time, place, and why he wouldn't work. Be sure the parents know...every time. Send an email, with the attached assignment. State what he was doing, etc., and explain assignment. Keep copies of all emails. If he is unable to graduate, it shouldn't surprise the parents, if they know. When they make excuses, say they had no idea...you have it all documented, including email communication.

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  11. When I took my kids to the computer lab, if they were clearly not using the computer for research, I wouldn't let them be on it. If he wants to sit there and doodle, whatever (my kids always got on some program to design buildings and google earth, of course). I also had the capability to "take over" students computers at my last school so I would freeze their screen and send them messages. My fifth year of teaching my entire classroom was a computer lab every day -- my admin wanted spanish to be taught via a web program like rosetta stone -- so my kids were always on the computers, and mostly they were pretty good about doing work, but i did have a few kids who would just stop working, so I'd make them put the computers away. You really can't force a kid, especially a 17-year-old, to do something he doesn't want to do. I definitely had relationships with some of my students where I could do the annoying thing and sit next to them and ask them a bunch of questions about what they were doing and why they weren't working, but then I had other kids who were like, "I'm done working today" and I just let them be because I knew it was an argument I didn't want to get into. So, in other words -- a really long response to say, I think what I would do just depends on the kid.

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  12. ^^ this is a nice idea, but in my experience, it doesn't work like that. If you kick a kid out of class, you have to send him somewhere. He can't just roam the halls. And if that was what he could do, it would create incentive not to do anything in your class because then kids would know that by not participating, they could just get a free pass out of class. If you send him to the principal's office, it becomes YOUR fault that you weren't doing enough to make sure he was actively engaged. (This is my experience, not necessarily anyone elses, but I would say the kicking out really is not realistic). The only time I ever could get away with kicking kids out of class was when they were cursing/screaming/about to fight and even then they'd get sent right back in --- even when a kid was screaming F you, F this class, etc. etc. to me.

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  13. I am not a teacher, I'm a nurse, but I couldn't agree more with the documentation! Write/email everything so that way you are covered and the parents/administration cannot come back and say you didn't do anything. Also, I think I would have handled it the same way as you - give them a chance then let them be. You can't force someone that really doesn't care.

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  14. My 2 cents: High schoolers are old enough to make their own decisions. If they don't want to do the work, they earn the grade. High school teachers need to prepare students for college because Lord knows they won't get any hand-holding in college.

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  15. Geez that one is really hard. I wonder what motivates that student - like what is it that makes him so content with doing nothing. Hard time at home? Does he like candy? Does he like to do his work in his PJs? That is so tough!

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  16. This kid is my brother. My brother was always fully aware of the consequences of not going to school or doing his homework so when teachers would say, "your going to fail if you don't do this" he didn't care because he already knew. He had given up for reason much deeper than any teacher could know...He has recently been attending a different school with many kids who have experienced similar feelings. This has opened my eyes. Most of the kids are all smart and sensitive but they have unique challenges (dyslexia, parenting styles, ADD, depression) which caused them all to just give up. I would suggest if possible asking the student why they don't want to do their assignment or what can you do to help him. Show him that you care about not just his grade but him as a person. I am sure there is a bigger underlying problem. I would first communicate with the student and then the parents. But be very understanding because as I know first hand most of these problems are not fixed easily and all are very hard on families.

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  17. I would honestly kick him out of the class that day. Nicely, of course. I remember in high school if someone acted like this, my teacher would send them into the hallway. You could simply say, "If you don't want to do the assignment, that's up to you, but there's no point in you being in here." Embarrassment goes a long way!


    I also agree with the commenter who said to document -- I'd send an email to the parents and cc the principal.

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  18. I would have dug a little deeper into the situation to find out if there was a specific reason as to why he didn't want to do the work. I don't want to sound as though I am criticizing you, but mean this as a simple reflection-- what was the ultimate purpose of the research project? Was it simply to research the differences? Or was there a larger connection that tied into the research. Thinking from a student's viewpoint, I could see that I wouldn't really know what the actual larger purpose of the assignment was if it was merely research for research's sake. I would feel bored. Is the kid smart? I'm only asking about all of this info because I had an incredibly brilliant student that used to do the same sort of thing, but once I realized that he was just bored, I began making more personalized lessons for him that gave him a chance to do the learning in his own way. He would essentially teach himself with small guidance from me and ultimately create his own lesson.

    Alternatively, the student may have another issue that is causing him to zone out or give up. I would actually take some time to have a one on one conference with him when the rest of the class isn't there to see if you can find out what is really going on.

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  19. In this day and age, you can't just kick a kid out of class for not doing work. It's not really effective, and a teacher can get in trouble for doing that sort of thing. From my experience, teachers are expected to resolve small classroom level issues like this on their own. You can't just send a kid into the hallway-- you have to document where they are and what they are doing. And a principal will probably send a kid right back to your classroom if you send them to the office for not doing work. It's a "bigger fish to fry" sort of thing.

    In addition, the student will probably be happy to be out of the classroom where they are not being monitored and can do whatever they'd like. Kids like this that just sit and don't do the work don't care too much about embarrassment-- I mean, most people who do their work would already feel embarrassed if they got called out in class for not doing what they were supposed to. This student clearly doesn't care, but there is probably something deeper going on that isn't apparent from the outside.

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  20. I agree, great suggestions (while I'm not a teacher myself). You never know what could be the one conversation or the one engagement to push that student into realizing they have a future, they have a value, and they have a responsibility. In today's society, students are not getting that at home, so teacher's who choose to push just a little more are so key!!

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  21. Hi Heidi, thanks for the thorough response. Like I said, I would document as well. Perhaps she could also cc the school counselor so that they can try to get to that "deeper issue".

    I suppose things have changed in the past 10 years since I was out of school, but I was also fortunate enough to grow up in a small town where we really didn't have "bigger fish to fry". Behavior like this was a big deal. Also, even if the student likes being in the hallway, at least he is not in the room where other kids may be wondering why he doesn't have to do the work -- and we had hall monitors that made sure kids were behaving.

    I am not saying my suggestions would work, I am simply saying what I would do given the school background that I'm familiar with. It probably depends on the environment, the situation, the student, etc. I'm obviously not a teacher myself, so these are just guesses. Also, for the record, I'm not dissing Bon at all for her response to what happened, as she did what she felt was right in the moment -- I just wanted to share my opinion because she asked her readers to do so.

    I'm not sure if you are a teacher yourself, but what would you do?

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  22. I wasn't insinuating that you were dissing Bon, nor was I trying to argue with you about your opinion. I was simply giving a different viewpoint to what you suggesting based on my own experience, so I hope you didn't think that I was trying to make a personal attack on either you or Bon. Was just trying to have healthy discussion! :)

    I recently ended a six year teaching stint in Baltimore City. I was extremely successful both in classroom management and in overall student achievement. Unfortunately, the city system itself is broken, so even though I enjoyed being with my students and at the school I taught at, the "higher up" aspects burned me out. While Baltimore City isn't every school system, I do know that a lot of the behavioral trends that I dealt with on a daily basis are not localized-- rather they are occurring even in small town schools like the school system I grew up in.


    While your your school may have had a hall monitor to deal with situations like this, many schools don't even have funding for that sort of position. Punishments that teachers used to use are no longer effective in the same way that they used to be. Students feel more entitled these days, and they also tend to push the boundaries in different ways. There are a lot of outside factors in terms of family structure, materialism, and instant gratification that our society teaches that perpetuate behaviors that weren't present in students even when I first started teaching. Point being, a lot has changed in ten years even in small school systems!



    I think your suggestion of working with the school counselor is great. Many times, we look to punish students when there may be a bigger issue at hand. Sometimes punishment might actually work against the teacher only to push the student to exhibit even worse behavior. In the case of a 17 year old, I imagine them scoffing and laughing about the elementary nature of having them sit in the hall, which isn't really productive even if a school would allow such a thing.


    When I had students like this, I would actually have a one on one conference with them while the rest of the class wasn't present. I would work to find out what the issue was-- are they bored with the material, are they confused and too embarrassed to ask for help in front of their peers, did they eat breakfast that morning (yes, that can make a difference!), is there something going on at home, how can I as a teacher make the lesson appeal to them, do they have goals for after high school, find out about their interests and get to know them and use that to my advantage. That is what I would do, rather than having them sit in a hallway.

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  23. Very true! Sometimes students just need to feel as though someone actually cares or that someone actually believes in them!

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  24. That is an excellent idea! And I really think a lot of bad behavior starts at home, so I would reach out to the parents as well.

    This makes me nervous because I have a son who was just born and if kids are this bad now, I don't even want to know how they'll be once he's high school age! Maybe I'll just homeschool lol!

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  25. As long as you give him a solid foundation, I think he'll be just fine. Not ALL students are this way even though a lot of things have changed. That being said, the students that were always perfectly fine were usually the ones that had parents that were heavily involved in their lives and showed an interest in their education. If they have that solid foundation, then they'll still know right from wrong despite the behavior of their peers.

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  26. I totally agree with you on the talking to him privately- I feel like that's the key anytime I'm successful in reaching a student.

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  27. Wow 4th grade huh? It's crazy to me that it starts that young- that a student would be that defiant and stubborn even at that age. And the crying and flailing around, goodness you deserve a medal for putting up with that!

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  28. Thanks Katie! I appreciate that!

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  29. Oh my gosh I want to know EVERYTHING about being on Teachers Tournament! That sounds amazing. I heard it is really hard to get on, isn't it? That seriously would be a dream of mine!

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  30. I totally agree on the "not as upset as it used to make me." I have found that I can't get personally invested and at the end of the day if they choose to fail, it is their choice and not necessarily a reflection on my teaching. Gosh I care for those students, but sometimes I have to let them make those bad decisions.

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  31. Thanks Emmy! And no, I guess you can't "make" them do anything. I could have tried to micro manage the situation more, but I guess I decided my time was more valuable grading papers and giving back feedback to students who do their work, than trying and trying to get one to do his work who has no interest.

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  32. Thanks Jordyn! I guess that is the question, IS 17 old enough/smart enough to allow them to make their own decision. I feel like i could help them make such better choices if they would listen and that to extent I'm responsible for helping them make those better choices.

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  33. You should live in China! The kids who aren't at the top get sent to the factories to work- they assume "education" just isn't for them. Sometimes I wonder if we have it all wrong trying to force an education on students until they're 18. Maybe educate everyone only to 12, then let others go work and the smartest can continue forward with their education?

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  34. Yes the kicking out of class idea doesn't work so great. I do send kids into the hall, though, to do their work at a desk by themselves, but that is only if they are disrupting the class. In this case where he was just kind of doing his own thing, I couldn't have gotten away with kicking him out.

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  35. Great idea! With this kid, though, I don't think it would have worked- he's the kind of "if I don't want to do it I won't do it" type. With other kids, though, I think that strategy could definitely work.

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  36. Love this response, Ann! And wow, 33 years of teaching 5th grade? Congrats! After reading your comment I made sure to document it in our school tracker- such a good idea so that I have that evidence/proof there when I need it.

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  37. Amen on the documentation! Great idea!

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  38. Totally agree with you on not letting kids have access to the computers if they can't use the privilege correctly. The thing that is hard for me though in this case is the computer was keeping him entertaining/ helping him to not bother other students. I worry that I kick him off the computer and then he's distracting others because he's bored.

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  39. That is definitely true! It's such a hard line to balance, though- when is too much hand holding and when is not enough?

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  40. "Does he like candy?"---> best line! Yes, I think you are right- it all comes down to figuring out what is motivating him.

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  41. Alisha such a great comment. I think you are absolutely right on this- there are most much bigger problems underneath the surface when something like this happens that the teacher is pretty much powerless over. I'm definitely going to ask him why he doesn't care next time. Thank you!

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  42. Great thread here between the two of you. I am going to respond to both of you with the same comment so that it goes to both of your emails. I agree, Stephanie, that just kicking someone out of class would be the ideal thing for those still in class and probably for the teacher. If the kid is disruptive and preventing others from learning I will often set up a desk in the hall and have the kid do his work alone in the hallway instead of with the rest of us. This way he is still working, just removed from the classroom. Often this is worse for the student if we are lecturing/reading/discussing together and he know has to figure it out all on his. With an issue like this one, though, where the kid was pretty much sitting there not bothering anyone, I agree with Heidi, putting him in a hall by himself won't solve much and my principal would probably send him right back to me and tell me to deal with it if I sent him to the office. (Our principal actually told us in a recent meeting that the admin basically laugh when we send them our "trivial" issues such as these. Teachers are much more respected than can handle this kind of stuff on their own.) As far as the embarrassment issue goes, this student in particular couldn't care less if I embarrassed him in front of everyone, he thrives on the negative attention and from my understanding he acts that way in all his classes.

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  43. Love the thread here between the two of you. I am going to respond to both of you with the same comment so that it goes to both of your emails. I agree, Stephanie, that just kicking someone out of class would be the ideal thing for those still in class and probably for the teacher. If the kid is disruptive and preventing others from learning I will often set up a desk in the hall and have the kid do his work alone in the hallway instead of with the rest of us. This way he is still working, just removed from the classroom. Often this is worse for the student if we are lecturing/reading/discussing together and he know has to figure it out all on his. With an issue like this one, though, where the kid was pretty much sitting there not bothering anyone, I agree with Heidi, putting him in a hall by himself won't solve much and my principal would probably send him right back to me and tell me to deal with it if I sent him to the office. (Our principal actually told us in a recent meeting that the admin basically laugh when we send them our "trivial" issues such as these. Teachers are much more respected than can handle this kind of stuff on their own.) As far as the embarrassment issue goes, this student in particular couldn't care less if I embarrassed him in front of everyone, he thrives on the negative attention and from my understanding he acts that way in all his classes.

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  44. The purpose of the assignment was 1) to learn research skills and to tell the difference between reliable websites and non reliable websites and 2) to learn what information in the play is a part of history and what parts were sensationalized to make the story interesting. I agree with you that the assignment could be part of the problem at large, and I definitely think the student was bored. But most of the class was not bored and was very interested in the assignment. I'm sure you understand how difficult it is to create meaningful content that is going to interest and challenge (without frustrating or discouraging!) 100% of the students. It's impossible! This kid is very smart and I think with most of the class content and school in general he is just bored to tears. I don't think that's an excuse, though. Life is boring sometimes. Being an adult is boring, having a job is boring, waiting in line is boring. "Boring" is not an excuse for students to just totally check out and I don't think we can accept teachers to put on an endless horse and pony show in a never ending pursuit to entertain students who require more and more to be entertained. I know you weren't suggesting this, but I feel like many people think that the problem with school is that we aren't catering enough to students' demands for constant entertainment. It's part of the problem of our digitialized world- human population in general requires more and more to fight off boredom.

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  45. Excellent comment, Autumn! I totally agree!

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    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in Texas,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

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  47. I know I'm late to the party, and I teach Early Childhood Special Ed, which is a far cry from high school, ha. But with my defiant little kiddos, I give them a choice, but if they choose not to do what I'm asking of the whole group, there will be a less desirable consequence. Or I might say "you can choose to do it on your own or I will help you". The idea is that they will eventually learn to make good choices on their own. Super simple, but sometimes preschool strategies can work well on high schoolers too! ;)

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