The Life of Bon: 3:30 am

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

3:30 am

Monday morning Greg woke me up about 5 am.  He had just gotten out of the shower.

"Why are you doing taking a shower at 5 am?" I muttered out of my slumber
"Bon, I can't sleep."
"How can you not sleep?  We don't have to be up for another hour and a half."
"I've been up since 3:30.  I'm too stressed."
"Stressed about what?"
"About having to wake up!"

Greg's got this thing where he gets super anxious/ nervous/ tense any time he has to wake up early.  He over thinks it to the point where he can't sleep.  Normally he wakes up at 6:30 just fine, but I guess the return after Christmas break was just too daunting for him.  It is for all of us, I tell you, it is for all of us!

I managed to fall back asleep.  Greg woke up and went to school.  I slept in until June woke up at 9 am and thus is the amazing life of a part time teacher/mom.

Greg came home at 3:00 totally wiped out.  Naturally.  But he said he wasn't going to let himself take a nap because he wanted to be able to sleep well at night.  So he forced himself to stay awake until ten last night.  As he got into bed he declared, "I'm so excited to sleep because nothing could be worse than last night's sleep!"  Dying last words, am I right?

At five am I was awoken by June's cry.  Homegirl wanted to eat.  Greg stirred.

"Greg?  Are you awake?"
"Bon... it's happening again..."
"How long have you been awake?"
"Since 3:30.  Again."  He sounded like he was going to cry.

I got the baby and brought her to bed so she could eat and I could fall asleep while she suckled my bosom.  It's our morning routine.  It's real cute.

Greg tossed and turned while I fed June and tried to go back to sleep.  He was a nervous wreck.

"I don't think we should drive together in the morning!" He declared.  
"Okay, that's fine."
"How am I going to teach all day and do a performance tonight?"
"You gotta go back to sleep.  You still have over an hour."
"Only an hour?!  There's no way I can get back too sleep in that time!"
"You're too worked up.  Calm down."
"I can't!  My brain's going a million miles a minute!  I've got song lyrics going through my head."
"Just turn your head off.  Imagine a blank canvas.  Or the ocean."
"The ocean?!  You're not helping!"
"Babe!  You're too worked up!  Relax."
"Stop telling me I'm worked up!  It's making it worse!"

At that moment Greg grabbed a couple of pillows and blanket and went to lie down in the closet.  Because we all know the best thing to help you fall asleep is to sleep on the floor.  In the closet.

At that point I was pretty worked up too, stressing about how Greg was going to get enough sleep to face a long Tuesday.  Also June was doing this adorable thing she does where she scratches my boobs and face with her long fingernails while she eats.  It was pretty obvious that sleep wasn't gonna happen for me.

When the alarm rang at 6:20 I was still wide awake.  I was dog tired, but wanted to just get up and get the dreaded first-day-after-break over with.

Greg emerged from the closet.  He hadn't slept.  Turns out the closet floor isn't the cure all for insomnia.  Shocker!

I was in rare form arriving at the school this morning.  If anyone looked or talked to me I was fully prepared to bite their head off.  The desks in my room were kind of skiwampous so naturally I wrote a mean email to the teacher who shares a room with me.  "Straighten the desks, you fool!" or something.

Then a student brought me from a diet coke from McDonald's.
Then I started talking about Walt Whitman and what a crazy old poet that man was and the kids were totally loving it.  Eye contact and nodding their heads and raising their hands and all that teacher glory.
Then some kid mentioned Breaking Bad and Leaves of Grass and Walt Whitman and Walter White and I felt so proud for some reason.
Then I read "Oh Captain my Captain" with the class and got kind of choked up.

And just like that the grumpiness went away.  I was joking with my students, asking about their Christmas breaks, laughing at the things that come out of their mouths.  It was a flash of "You love this job" and it was exactly what I needed.

Thank you, first-day-after-Christmas-break gods.

And now, if you've got any after-Christmas-magic left, please help my husband stay asleep tonight.

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