The Life of Bon: Bachelor Recap: Week 8. In which it all just gets kind of painful.

Tuesday, March 01, 2016

Bachelor Recap: Week 8. In which it all just gets kind of painful.

Gosh I love me some Bachelor but as it gets closer and closer to the end, I do admit that it gets a lot harder for me to write these bachelor recaps.  Somewhere in between the time where there is no more Olivia talking about her cankles and no more crazy twin gunning to be NFL cheerleaders it all just gets a little too real for me.  I know it's reality tv, I ain't dumb, but it is easier when they are all just characters in a script and no one has feelings invested.  Last week's episode when Amanda got the boot was so tough to watch and this week's was even harder.  Oh, reality tv.  You get me every time.

Date #1 with Caila.  Things seem a little off in the day.  Caila is nervous.  At night Caila tells Ben she is in love with him.  He doesn't repeat it back but they do spend all night in the fantasy suite.  Caila enters the fantasy suite in her sexy black bra/bikini because HOMEGIRL CAME TO WIN.

Date #2 with Lauren.  Coolest date ever--- rescuing sea turtles!  I gotta give it to the Bachelor producers, they are coming up with a little bit more exciting and meaningful activities for the couples to do together.  That night Lauren tells Ben she loves him.  Ben repeats it back.  It's adorable.  Lauren is absolutely elated.  I have to admit, her reaction to his L bomb was so sweet, it almost made me forgive her for her seven weeks of Bachelor boringness before this.  She is so vanilla and not at all interesting to me, but I get that she might be great for Ben, and so I have finally resigned myself to the fact that it is very likely she will win the whole thing.  It is obvious she cares deeply for Ben, and he her, so whatever.  Go for it, you two beautiful, boring people.  Lauren and Ben spend the night together, it is obvious that Lauren feels like she's got the whole thing in the bag.  Ben tells her over and over that he loves her.

Date #3 with Jojo.  They jump into a waterfall, hike around, make out.  (Much like all of mine and Greg's dates!)  Jojo tells Ben sitting there on the waterfall that she's in love with him.  Ben repeats it back.  Jojo has the most genuine shocked reaction of anyone on tv ever.  "What?" she asks.  Trust me, Jojo, we all feel the exact same way.  "Are you allowed to say that?"  She continues.  We're all wondering the same thing, Jojo!  (er...more specifically, are you allowed to say that to two women?)
"I'm not" Ben laughs.  Probably the most honest and vulnerable I've seen Ben on camera.  During their night date they address Jojo's crazy brothers from last week because those crazies need to be discussed.  Basically she tells him that her brothers will like Ben once they know he's not dating three other girls at the same time.  Fair enough, big brothers, fair enough.  They spend the night together, Jojo is extremely confident, it's obvious that Jojo feels like she's got the whole thing in the bag.  Ben tells her over and over that he loves her. (dejavu anyone?)

As you can see this whole thing is a recipe for disaster.  Ben has declared his love for two women and then there's Caila who is cute as be, convinced he does love her even though he didn't say it back. Before we can get a rose ceremony, Caila decides to show up at Ben's place to surprise him.  She wears a bra and a tight fitting skirt.  Same thing I wear when I surprise Greg at work!  It's obvious when he sees her that Ben is not feeling it.  It is cringe worthy, watching the whole thing pan out.  He tells her that he's in love with two women, neither of which are her.  I mean, come on Ben, did you have to put it that way?

Either way I'm impressed with how Caila handles the break up.  At first she's like, "just get me in the car and away from all this madness" and then she's like "wait, but I need some answers."  Legit the way I acted at every break up, so I feel Caila's pain.  I think I have finally forgiven Caila for her weird mind games/ "I feel like I'm going to hurt you" that she pulled three or four weeks ago.  If it weren't for that I would like her so much.  In any case, if Caila needs to be the next bachelorette I think I can handle it.  I'm still gunning for Jojo (if she doesn't win, but I still think Lauren has the top spot secured) or Amanda, but I can do Caila if I need to.  I mean, I know The Bachelor producers are really concerned about how I feel about the matter.

Watching Caila go home is pretty painful.  It reminds me of all those dumb boys who told me in one form or another that I wasn't good enough for them.  Rejection just sucks.  And now my heart is on super anxiety level thinking about how Ben is going to get out of this huge mess next week.   Lauren and Jojo both feel like they have won the whole thing since Ben told both of them repeatedly that he is in love with them.  BEN YOU ARE IN OVER YOUR HEAD, BUDDY!   ABORT.  ABORT.  ABORT!

We are left with one unnecessary rose ceremony before this episode can end.  Jojo shows up and tells Chris Harrison that Ben said he loved her.  Lauren shows up next and also tells Chris that Ben said he loved her.  His face in that moment says it all.

Both girls stand in the heat for a few minutes, figure out that Caila isn't there anymore, get their roses from Ben, and then they all participate in an awkward three-way hug.  Oh, this show.

(A quick note about the clothes for the rose ceremony.  Jojo was rocking her dress.  Lauren's dress was awful- it looked like a beach cover up that was falling off of her the whole time.  And then there was Ben.  Ben who is wearing casual pants and a sloppy, untucked blue shirt.  You know, like he's about to make a run to Costco.  WHO IS DRESSING BEN ON THIS SHOW?)

Here's my theory on the show at this point.  Ben is very conflicted because from the very beginning he liked Lauren and thought she was it.  He singled her out early on as the one and then went through the whole Bachelor "journey" but knew in his heart she would win.  Somehow during this he started developing real feelings for Jojo.  He didn't plan to love her.  You could tell that even he himself was a little surprised when he repeated I love you back to her.   So now his heart is all conflicted because he's loved Lauren for a long time now (his words, not mine) but his feelings for Jojo are catching up to where he was at with Lauren and he doesn't know what to do.  Go with the girl who he thought was the sure thing or the girl who snuck up and surprised him with how great she is?  TOUGH QUESTION BEN!  AMERICA IS ON THE EDGE OF ITS SEAT WAITING TO KNOW WHAT YOU WILL DO.

But seriously.

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