June Bug: Nine Months

I have constant internal debates with myself when it comes to posting "updates" about June.  Do people really care what small toy my child is attempting to put in her mouth today?  Do folks really want to know how much she sleeps at night?  And who in their right mind actually cares if my daughter likes broccoli or not? (She doesn't!)

But then I feel like I would miss it if I didn't post the appropriate important month updates.  You know, how some months are important and some aren't?  Like nine months feels really important, but ten months does not.  So I'll post a nine month update.  And if it bores you to know that my little baby hates broccoli (she does!) or that she sticks her tongue out all day long, I completely understand and I do not hold it against you.  Be free, blog readers, be free!  Ain't nobody gonna force you to read this!

For those of you who are still hanging around, let's update the crap out of this baby!

At nine months old, June is still barely 14 pounds.  (She'll have her official weigh in next week.)  She wears six month clothes and even some 3-6 months, and only if we're feeling very brave to we venture in to the nine month clothes.  The romper she is wearing in these pictures is nine months and you can see that it just about drowns her. She wears size two diapers and size one shoe because she just ain't very big and that's alright!

June rolls and scoots all over the carpet, having mastered the oh-so-important army crawl.  Every day we say, "Oh my gosh, she's going to start crawling any minute!"  But she doesn't.  She also does not pull herself up or sit up from a laying position.  Part of me worries that she's behind physically but then I remember something my favorite teacher at my school told me, "Don't borrow trouble."  So I won't borrow no trouble and I'll trust that my petite little baby will hit all her milestones in due time.  The fact that she can't crawl yet is actually awesome. That little girl can sit on her blanket and play with her toys all day long, and I don't much have to worry about what she's getting in to.

June LOVES being outside.  She can be cranky in the car, cranky inside, fussing like a crazy banshee and then the second we walk outside, she just calms right down.  She loved going to the beach last month and playing in the sand.  She just sat there and held onto those little grain sands with all the energy in her fourteen pound body.

June also loves people!  Her favorite people are: (in this order) mama, dada, other babies, kids, adults.  She will watch anyone for hours.  When we were at the beach in California she went all day long without her naps because she was just so darn happy being outside and so busy watching all the people come and go.  She was especially happy to be surrounded by my friends' children.  The four kids absolutely adored June and she basked in the awesomeness of being surrounded by four little people all day.

Generally June takes two naps- one in the morning around 10 and one in the afternoon around 2.  Her naps range anywhere from an hour to three hours.  If she has a long nap, generally the second nap is much shorter.  If it gets past 4:00 pm there ain't no hope in the world of June taking an afternoon nap and we have to just power through to bedtime.  Bedtime is at 7, and with the aid of her magic sleep suit, June generally sleeps through the night.  Also, "through the night" is kind of a relative term, but basically she sleeps until 5 or 6 in the morning when I pull her in to bed with me and feed her while we both fall back asleep.  Days when we don't have to go to work she wakes up for good anywhere between 7:30 - 9:00 am.  Days where I have to work she's up by 6:30.

This past month June has been eating all sorts of new foods.  My friend gave me a baby bullet and I LOVE it!  I also read French Kids Eat Everything and am now on a mission to introduce June to as many types of foods as possible before it's too late.  She loves pretty much all fruit, with a special place in her heart for oranges.  She tolerates vegetables, but they are more than anything a necessary evil- something that must be eaten in order to get to her precious fruits.  She also loves oatmeal and chicken.  She does not like broccoli.  REPEAT.  MY CHILD DOES NOT LIKE BROCCOLI.  IS ANYONE OUT THERE CONFUSED ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT BY CHILD LIKE BROCCOLI?!?  She still nurses three or four times a day- generally at breakfast, lunch, dinner and before bed.  Homegirl loves her milk straight from the source.

June has no teeth yet, but a very adorable gummy smile.  She throws her head back and flashes her gums like, "Hey!  Don't I have beautiful pearly white gums?!  Admire me!"  And so, of course, we admire her.  What else are a couple of smitten parents to do?

June is the absolute light of our lives.  Nothing has ever made us so happy or made us so grateful to be alive.  I know most parents are stupidly crazy about their children and it's very cliche to say we had no idea how our lives would change for the better when this little five pound bomb came exploding on to the scene.  I know it's also cliche to say I never knew I could love someone like this, never understood how my heart would grow and expand, or be so absolutely amazed by her every little action.  You've heard it all before, so I won't say any of that.

Just know that it's all true.  

A glimpse

ANNOUNCEMENT:  I've had two spots open up for our blogging roundtable on Wednesday.  $10 reserves your spot.  Email me at thelifeofbon.com if you are interested.  We would LOVE to have you!

This week Greg and I have been doing a bit of babysitting.  My brother's kids have been holing up with us this week. To be honest, I enjoyed the babysitting shifts much more than I thought I would.  There was a strange sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that came from helping the kids tie their shoes and listening to how great Snow White is and wiping ooey, gooey runny noses.  It felt very grown up to be in charge of little people and to have little people rely totally on me and to be given slobbery hugs and kisses so generously.

On Wednesday afternoon the weather turned nasty.  There was a sudden cold front- the kind that rears its ugly head unexpectedly one random day in May and then leaves the very next day.  The kids were antsy in the house and it was too cold to play outside, so we shoved them in the car and hauled them to good old Carl's Jr. play place.

There were three carseats crammed in the backseat, with six little legs and six little hands needing to be buckled up.  Greg took over the left side- lifting, buckling, clicking while I managed the right side.  There was a brief moment- so brief I almost missed it entirely- where I looked across the backseat and made eye contact with Greg.  He raised his eyebrows at me in a "Oh my gosh, isn't this crazy?" kind of way and then was immediately back to the little person who demanded his utmost buckling attention.  

I've always accepted that Greg and I would someday have kids, but I don't think it clicked until that exact moment that this dude is going to be the father of my children.  The man who will raise our very own little people with me.

And that was it.  A glimpse.  A glimpse of some future moment in time- five years down the road?  Seven? Ten?  A glimpse of three kids in car seats and complete pandemonium and our future family.

And I loved it.

Bedtime stories, of course!

A Thousand Words

We're settling in here in my mom's basement.
We might be here a week.
We might be here a year.  At this point, it's anyone's guess.

I decided this morning that Hubs and I would just have to move in to the apartment with the mean management.  It won't be available until September 8 so we'll all have to make a few sacrifices.
I called about noon.  The lady said the apartment had gone this morning.  Their next opening is in October.

So, you know, that was a bit of good news...

Because I am too tired mentally and physically to charm you with my usual wit and wisdom tonight I'm going to dump some August pictures instead.  I don't have Instagram so these are all never before seen (And let's face it, the only reason I would get it would be to stalk Jef Holm)  Hold on to your britches!

This is a picture of how hot I look after I work out.  See the red splotches on my face?  That's an aphrodisiac in some cultures, you know.  Hubs had just finished obliterating me in tennis.  He's a fierce competitor, that Hubs!

One of my BFFs, Brooke, moved to Denver a year ago.  She's on the right, smiling like an idiot.  She came into town so naturally we hit up the water park.  Brooke and Mandy are most likely going to be mad at me for posting this picture because, well, let's just say they're not exactly putting out the vibe like I am.  If I'm going to be honest with you folks I might as well tell you that I have another picture of the three of us in the exact same pose in which both Mandy and Brooke both look much better.  But sometimes it just feels good to put ugly pictures of your friends on the Internet.  As if every frustration that happened to me this week is worth it just knowing how powerless my friends are when it comes to my blogging choices.

I commented on a blog.  This picture of "me" came up.  That is not me.  That is not my child. If you know this woman, stop her now!  She is POSING AS ME!

Mandy's birthday party.  Mandy is single and she invited me over to her birthday shindig which involved a bunch of other single people.  Hubs wasn't feeling up to partying with single people so I made a quick appearance by myself.  Everyone looked at me like the true married freak that I am.   They did not want to wear my princess party hats nor did they think my jokes were funny.  Sheesh, it was a tough crowd!  Being single is not as easy as it was in my day, I'll tell you.



My best friend, Crazy A, had her baby!  And named her Bonnie!  Prepare to have your mind blown...  in this picture you are seeing not one, but TWO Bonnies!  Yes.   It is possible.  The baby is adorable and smells like a baby and cuddles right in to your arm and makes you wonder, "Golly, surely everything would be right in the world if I just had a baby like this to cuddle with?"

My new lover.  His name is Buddy.  Property of my madre.  He follows me around like the plague.  Hubs is madly in love with the pup, but don't tell him I told you.  Hubs tries to act tough, but I figured him out long ago.

And that, lovelies, is a wrap.

At the end of the day, God is good.  Life is sweet.  Home is about the people you're with. 

I'm feeling pretty dang blessed right now.

P.S.

Are you following me on twitter or facebook?

WHY NOT?!?

On babies. Round 2.

Yes, you read right.  This is round 2.  Round 1 was in January when I made a deal with God to let me wait a little while longer to have babies.  You know, to let me be selfish and self serving and a bunch of other self- stuff that doesn't include babies. 

Actually, if I think about it, that was round 2.  The real Round 1 occurred clear back in October when Hubs brought home a stuffed teddy bear to cure my one and only fit of baby hunger.
So I guess if we're being all technical about it, this is really Round 3 of baby thought.  But come on, who's even keeping track around here?

I blame round 3 on Dennis.
My brother.

You see, a couple of weeks ago we met up for lunch.

Dennis and his wife recently welcomed their first little bundle of joy. (I gave the babe some life advice here.)  Mountain bikes and nights out were exchanged for pacifiers and burp cloths. Movie theatres and manicures morphed into monitors and medicines.

"So how is it?" I demanded to know.  "What's it like being a father?"

"It's amazing..." he started, "But...  it's also really hard." 
Another pause. 
Then. 
"Just make sure you're ready for it."

And, just like that, we were done, on to another topic.

But the line stuck with me.

Make sure you're ready for it.

So I thought about it a little and I thought about it a lot and I got to wondering.  How exactly do you get ready for cooing and cuddles and soft, bubbly kisses?

My oldest brother and his two sons welcoming their little sis to the family. 2010.

And more importantly, how do you get ready for sleepless nights, lost independence, and a lifetime of caring for someone else? 

Are you ever really ready?  And when you are, how can you possibly know?

I ain't no young buck to be having babies- especially in Mormonville.  I'm pushing 26 and my friends from every stage of life- high school, college, even my mission buddies- are multiplying and replenishing and fructifying and I'm just here waiting to be ready.

I guess I've always been hesitant to take big, life changing steps.  Especially when there's no exit door.  And let's face it, having a baby is the defintion of a big life changing step with no exit in sight.  The only reason I was able to commit to a marriage was because of days and weeks and months spent with Hubs, a shared love, and an assurance that I couldn't live without him. Plus, it didn't hurt that I had dated countless losers before I landed on Hubs.  When I met him he blew the competition away, and I knew I had found "the one." 

But how can I be certain that I don't need countless babies before I find the one that suits me best?  How do I know that the first 20 babies won't dissatisy me in some way and leave me feeling that there is certainly a better baby out there if I just keep looking? 

I don't understand our society- they preach down your throat, "make sure you marry the right person, you gotta know him good, make sure you have exhausted all possibilities and found the absolute perfect one and only right person for you." And then, they go and expect you to invite a baby, a perfect stranger, to live with you and always be a part of your life without ever once having been introduced! 

Some nerve, our society, I tell you!
The more I think about it, the more I am shocked that anyone chooses to have babies.  Do people even realize what they are giving up when they do so?  A baby means no more freedom.  No more selfishness.  No more long hot bubble baths when I get home from school.

And I like long hot bubble baths.

My best friend, Akasha, is two years younger than I am.  We were friends throughout high school, roomed together in college, and even spent four months bathing in the Hawaiian sun before I booked it for Argentina.

Single and carefree. Hawaii 2007.

She's expecting baby #3 in July.

And I wonder, were you ready, Akasha?  Were you ready for naptime and playtime and interrupted dinners and hellish plane rides and car seats and babysitters and colic and jaundice and oh my goodness I'm overwhelmed.

I guess I just had to get it off my chest.  Because you know that boy I live with, Hubs?  He's ready.  Ready whenever I am.  He's always ready, though.  He was ready to marry me months before I knew his name, so obviously he's going to be ready for a baby. 

But how does a girl (I guess at this point in my life I should be referring to myself as a woman?) know that she's ready?  Ready to take a leap of faith and ready to welcome a person she's never met into her life and ready to give up her entire life for a complete stranger?!  I mean, I know someone did it for me (thanks mama!), but what if I am not selfless enough to do that for someone else?

I admire women who can pop out babies right and left.  I really do.  My mother was one of them.  I admire their ability to nurture, to give, to sacrifice.  I admire that Akasha can be so completely happy with her little family and not resent those toddlers for anything.  I admire women that just want to hold their babies and love them and are so happy and content to stay at home and raise their children. 

But can all women do that?

Your thoughts? 

Please.

What happens when I babysit

This weekend I baby-sat my sister's kids for a couple of hours.

My niece shortly after her birth.

During that time I.... fed five kids dinner, cleaned up dinner from five kids, attempted to put a 2 year old in time out, unsuccessfully arbitrated in several arguments between a ten year old and twelve year old boy, tried to convince a baby that she could change her own dirty diaper, reluctantly changed a dirty diaper, hid the wii in the tupperware drawer, poured hot oil in a giant plastic jug and ruined the jug, demanded to know why there wasn't any coke in the house, tried to teach a 4 year old how to play Settlers of Cataan, and explained why Whitney Houston's death was important enough to interrupt a particularly hilarious episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.


During that time I... discovered that I am nowhere close to ready to have my own kids.

I am now trying to convince Hubs that I need to postpone having babies for several more years in order to be the favorite aunt.  Think it'll work?

(Also currently trying to convince Hubs that I need to go back to the short, blonde look that you see in this picture.  Any tips to convince a boy that a short haired blonde is hotter than a long haired brunette?)

On babies...

My whole life I have been a step behind all the other girls my age.

You want an example of this, you say?  No problem.  I was flat as a board and looked like I was eight when my friends were hitting puberty.  By the time I reached puberty,  my friends were laps ahead of me, now staying out all night kissing boys.  When I finally arrived at the kissing-boy stage, all my friends were already in college.  I tried to catch them at college, being single and carefree, but by that time they were all getting married.  In March I thought I had caught up for good when I finally tied that knot and settled down. 

"Look who's the late bloomer now!  I'm married!  Take that!" I yelled triumphantly to my friends.

But they were all too busy taking care of kids and being pregnant to hear my yell.

Yep.  Still one lap ahead of me on this never ending racetrack.

And like always, I'm not ready.  Hey, I haven't even been married for a year, there's no rush to have babies yet, right?  Oh, but some would disagree.  I'm 25, going on 26 and we all know a womb doesn't last forever!  Those eggs are getting rusty in there.  Time to get going!

And the honest, sincere truth is that I do know that I want babies, and I know that I need to have babies, and I know that not having babies and spending all my time playing volleyball, sleeping in, and going out to eat is a selfish lifestyle, not a celestial lifestyle.

But I just can't do it yet.

So I made a deal with God.  I do that sometimes, you know.  Like the time when I knew that God wanted me to go on a mission.  And I was scared.  So scared.  And I didn't really want to go yet, but I knew I had to. So I told God, "Okay, I'll do it.  I'll go on a mission.  But you have to promise me that I don't get called to Russia.  Or Idaho."

I got called to Argentina.  God kept his part of the bargain and three months later I was on a plane to Argy.

My recent deal with God was similar.

"I'll have those babies.  By golly, I'll have em.  And I'll take good care of them, and I'll love them and sacrifice the world for them and I'll raise them the best gosh darn way I can.  But can you give me just a little more time?  Time to be carefree and selfish and have Hubs all to myself?  Then I'll have those babies.  I promise. 

Oh... and one more thing... could you not give me baby girls that will eventually turn into teenage girls that hate me?"

And you know what?  I'm pretty sure God is keeping his side of the bargain on this one.  Which means for now I'll spend my days being selfish and taking care of myself.  And I'll be happy.   And in the future I'll spend my days being selfless and taking care of my kids.  And I'll be happy then, too.

It sounds like a deal I can handle.

Welcome to the world, baby girl!

Hiya Emery!

My brother, Dennis, and his wife, Ashley, had their first little baby yesterday. 

Yes, I am now once again hankering for a baby.

Yes, Hubs is once again seeing if he can rent a giant teddy bear for the week.

Emery Ashley Blackburn weighed in at nine pounds seven ounces and put in a helluva fight to get into this world! (If I put the swear word with other words and combine them like that, it's not really swearing).  First Emery was four days past her due date, THEN she made her mama struggle in labor for 24+ hours, THEN Emery was upside down, THEN she decided maybe she'd actually like to come out via C-section.

Hate to tell you Dennis and Ashley, but this girl's gonna be high maintenance!

Now... I, being the loving, caring, full-of-wisdom aunt that I am, decided to help Emery out a little bit.  You see, I've been a girl in this world for 25 years now.  She's only been a girl in this world for 25 hours.  So I think I'm entitled to teach her a thing or two.

1.  Your dad is a real softy.  He tries to play tough, but he's not, so if you play your cards right, you'll be able to get just about anything you could ever want from him.

2.  Your mom's got real good fashion sense.  Take advantage of it, and learn to like shopping now, because you're going to be doing alot of it!

3.  If you need someone to sneak you to the mall to get your ears pierced, I'm the gal.

4.  God already gave you a bomb family.  Now you get to pick your friends.  Choose them wisely, especially in college, because those people will help you through some tough times.

5.  One day you are going to hit puberty.  If you start mensturating on a 9th grade field trip to Goblin Valley and somebody points it out to you while you are climbing a huge ol' rock, don't even worry bout it.  It's happened to the best of us.  Your life as you know it is not actually over, as you might think in that moment.  You'll survive and live to tell the tale.

6.  Your first kiss probably won't be that awesome.  You'll have a lot of expectations and the kiss will let you down.  Your first kiss with your future husband, though- that's something you can look forward to!

7.  I know your parents try to eat pretty healthy.  So if you need chips and salsa, coke, ice cream, or fruit gushers, head right on over to Aunt Bon's!  I'll hook you up.

8.  You don't have to go on a mission if you don't want to.  Your mom might want you to stay home and be where she can always call you.  But if you do want to go, just know that it'll be one of the best decisions you've ever made and will change your life. I'll send you cookies and letters and be your #1 fan while you're out there.

9.  Mary, Mindy, and Becky are alright, but you need to know that I'm the coolest of the sisters.  I'll gladly take the role of favorite aunt.

10.  If you could get yourself a little sister some time soon it will make your life so much better.  I wouldn't be half the person that I am today without my little sis guiding me along (*Hint* Dennis and Ashley... Emery needs a little sis...)

11.  Sometimes life gets a little rough, even for the toughest of us.  But we'll be here for you- helping you, cheering you on, and loving you to pieces. 

Welcome to the clan!



Baby-sitting gone bad

Friday, 5 pm
I was buried in my down comforter, in a world far far away where disciplining 16 year olds, surviving parent teacher conferences, and grading papers doesn't exist.  Somewhere in that half asleep/ half awake world I heard a commotion.  Footsteps.  Door.  Bang.  Something hitting a wall.  Grunt.  Backpack dropping.

"Bons!  I'm home!  I got a surprise!" 

"Leave me alone!  I'm sleeping."  I'm not exactly a sweetheart when I'm tired.

"Bons!  Wake up!  Look!  Look! Look!  I brought something home for you!" 

Fine.  I mean, who could resist that?  I lifted my head high off the pillow and poked around the corner to see this:

"We're babysitting him for the weekend!" Hubs declared.
"Babysitting?"
"Well,  you've been wanting a baby and all. So I thought we could practice this weekend!"  (It's true.  That one conference talk about kids got me momentairly-most-definitely hankering for a baby!)  "You see, we didn't have anywhere to put him before the show tomorrow,"  Hubs continued,  "so me and you get to watch him.  Come on...let's just pretend he's our kid.  It'll be fun.  I promise!" 

Not totally sold on the idea, I questioned  "So what exactly do we do when we babysit a giant teddy bear?"  "Whatever we want!"  Hubs declared, as he carefully arranged Big Bear to be laying on the couch with one arm in back of his head, sending out quite the sexy vibe.  "How would you like to wake up to this every morning?!?" Hubs pointed to the bear.

"I think it would be weird.  Are we still going out for dinner tonight?"  I was obviously less enthused than Hubs.

"Well, we can't now.  We have to baby-sit!"

"You're joking."

"Or I guess we could take him with us."

"Take him with us?!?"  I freaked.  (Here's the honest truth.  I'm married to the guy, I know,  But I still can't always tell when Hubs is being straight with me or when he's pulling my leg.)

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Bon calm down.  I'm teasing," Hubs said as he moved the bear to the kitchen table.   "Let's feed him here, put him to bed, and then go out."

Finally I could see that Hubs wasn't about to budge and I better just play along and make this as painless as possible.  So we sat Big Bear at the table for awhile. About 20 minutes later, Hubs declared, "Alright, Big Bear ate.  We can go out now."

"Thank goodness," I said reaching for my purse.

"Oh, but wait!" Hubs interrupted, "We haven't put him to bed yet.  Silly us, we can't just let Big Bear stay awake while we go out.  Who knows what kind of mischief he could get into." 

So I waited again, while Hubs gently moved Big Bear to the couch, fluffed the pillow, and draped a blanket over the big guy.

Friday, 8 pm

Dinner at my favorite restaurant, Friday night, life could not be any better.
Actually... I take that back.  Life could get better.
Because somehow Big Bear was creeping his sneaky way into my romantic dinner conversation.
"Isn't he a cute bear?" Hubs wanted to know, "Doesn't he do the greatest things?"

"Yes, he does.  Have you seen the waitor?  He didn't bring any lemons."

"Isn't it going to be cute when he has little friends that he brings over?  And when he starts to talk and walk?"

"Yes, yes, now lets talk about me.  Or you.  Or anything besides the bear.  How was class today?"

"It was good, but the best part was getting the bear.  You should have seen everyone on campus when I was carrying Big Bear on my shoulders.  They were all looking and pointing and they thought it was so cute."

"You know what's cute?  You're cute..."  I could see I was quickly losing the battle.  Flirting might be the only way to bring the boy back to reality.

"Ah, thanks Bon.  You're the best.  What do you think Big Bear is doing at home right now?"

And thus the dinner conversation went. 

Friday, 11:30 pm

I was climbing into bed, excited to cuddle with Hubs and do nothing for the next eight or nine hours but sleep and snuggle.

"I wonder if I should sleep out on the couch with Big Bear.  I don't want him to be afraid." Hubs said.

"No.  You're sleeping in here."   My patience with the stuffed animal was long since gone.

"But, Bon, I need to take care of him."

"No you don't!  ME!  You need to take care of me!"  I snapped. 

"But, Bon, the bear needs attention."

And that was it.  Right there.  The moment he said the bear needed attention was the moment I truly lost it.

"ENOUGH!  I want Attention!  I need attention!  A BEAR does not need attention! Stop talking about that dumb thing.  All you ever do is think about him and talk about him and put all your energy on him!  And he's just a bear!  Will you just think about how that makes me feel?"

"Yah, that's true... I sure do love that bear.  Imagine how much I would love a child."

"Oh, you'd be bat crazy over a child!  I'd never get a lick of attention around here!"

"So... that probably means you don't still want a baby soon?"

"No!  I most certainly do not!  Six hours with that bear and I am convinced I am completely not ready to share you with kids!  Convinced, I say!"

Hubs chuckled to himself.  "Okay, Bon.  I'll sleep in the bed with you.  I think this is starting to get to you- we can stop pretending now if you want."

I breathed a deep sigh of relief.  "Thank you..."

He gave me a peck on the lips and then rolled over in bed.  He mumbled something.

And while I can't be certain, it sounded an awful lot like, "I knew it would work."