To be a mom

Nothing in this world has surprised me more than how much I enjoy being a mom.  I always knew I would "love" my own child, but I never in a million years imagined I would enjoy being a mom on this level.  And so, an ode to my favorite job ever.

What an unexpected joy this is, to be someone's mother, someone's protector, someone's number one comfort inducer.  To roll on the floor and do silly, stupid voices just to make her laugh.  To feel her little arms wrap around you.  To be constantly overwhelmed with joy and love and panic and worry.  To feed her big bites of oatmeal and yogurt and get only half of it in her mouth.  To know which cry is hers.  To look forward to nap time.  To look forward to her waking up from naptime.  To give a bath to her and watch her splash and try to drink the bath water. To realize that she has your nose.  To chase her down the hall and listen to her wild giggle.  To go into her room when she's sleeping just so you can look at how perfect she looks while she's sleeping.  To worry if she's warm enough.  To feel closer to your partner than ever before because you know no one in the world gets this love for her like he does.  To hear yourself saying a hundred times a day, "That is not a toy."  To have all vacations be more fun with her to share it with.  To give up your body for her needs.  To see her light up and start charging toward you when you enter a room.  To smell her horrendous diapers.  To want her to feel safe and protected in your home and in your arms.  To enjoy dressing her more than you enjoy dressing yourself. To want to somehow protect her from every heartache that life will deal her.  To always have someone trying to barge in on you while you're going to the bathroom.  To watch her fall asleep in your arms and to never want to get up because one day she won't be a baby and she won't sleep in your arms anymore.  To be constantly entertained by her.  To dress her up in mini Halloween costumes. To be amazed that she's yours every time you look at her. To hope desperately that she grows into a kind, thoughtful, independent, smart, loving woman.  To listen to her jabber away in her completely nonsensical baby language.  To feel her little body breathing in your arms.  To never have a personal bubble.  To share every food you ever eat because what's yours is now hers.  To wake up in the middle of the night to her cries and to be amazed that your mere presence can calm her down.  To have a constant mess left in her wake.  To read to her.  To feel frustrated and not good enough.  To feel overwhelmed with gratitude.  To want a million more babies because you love this one so much.  To never want another baby because you don't think you can love another one this much.  To be stretched.  To be tired.  To be needed.  To be loved.  To be happy.

This is what it is to be a mother.

The format of this post is copied after one I wrote several years ago entitled "To be Married"

Lost Instruction Time: What Does Your School Do?

We survived October at the high school.  October's weird.  There are a lot of random days off. There's a fall break, a day off for parent teacher conference, a day off for end of the quarter. And then there's also a lot of assemblies, a PLAN test, and some random stuff the counselors have to do in my classroom, eating up our instruction time.  This year I have absolutely gone to battle over lost instruction time.  At our school the counselors have an amazing and detailed system in place for seniors to make sure that every student knows about scholarship opportunities, college deadlines, admission procedures, graduation requirements etc, etc, etc.  I think it is great and I love that they do such a good job of not letting students fall through the cracks.

BUT.  All of this comes at the expense of English teaching time. (And in the case of the seniors who are taking my class, their AP Literature instruction time).  English is the only class all students are required to take their senior year, so it makes sense that the best way to get information to every single student is to go through the English classrooms.  Counselors come in every month to give 10 minute presentations about scholarships and deadlines, they pull students out of English class to meet about graduation requirements (last month they took an entire class period to do this), and in a couple of weeks students will miss another entire class period to apply for colleges.  (This is a requirement in the state of Utah that students apply for colleges during school.  I love the idea of it- the execution needs some tweaking.)  The PLAN test was also administered during a B day, meaning that instead of 88 minute classes, we had 32 minute classes on that day.  College day and Josten's graduation assemblies have both been in the morning on B days- eating up that same AP Literature teaching time. 

SO.  I've been very frustrated with the limited time I feel like I've had to teach my AP class this year. 
I am not criticizing the great work that the counselors do- I love how in depth this program is and I wish there would have been something like this at my high school when I was a teenager.  Students at my school are very well informed, they have great relationships with their counselors, and they do not miss out on opportunities for colleges or scholarships.  BUT, I have a very hard time that my class is the one that is always sacrificed to make this happen.  Yesterday in a weird fit of rage I calculated every single minute that my AP Lit class has missed of instruction time due to counseling needs, assemblies, and late start meetings.  (This year my school implemented late start Thursdays for teachers to collaborate, share data, etc.  This means that students do not come to school until 9 am on those days.  Our instruction time each Thursday is cut by 20 minutes and it feels like quite a hit.)  During first quarter I lost 26% of my AP Literature instruction time.  These kids are forking over $100 to try to pass a huge test at the end of the year to earn college credits and they are only getting 74% of the time that they should be getting.  One of my colleagues said it best, " I have to question the wisdom of having students miss significant class time from courses required for graduation in order to learn more about graduation."

I've talked to the administration and counselors about this and we've agreed that a better system probably needs to be put into place, but we're having a bit of a hard time figuring out what that better system is.  I am guessing that the counselors feel like I am threatening the time they need to do their work and I feel like they are threatening the time I need to do my work.  Both works are important!  Certainly we don't have to sacrifice one to have the other?  I'd love to hear from other teachers, administrators or parents with kids in high school... how are you getting all the information you need about college, scholarships, graduation, etc to every high school senior without sacrificing English instruction time?  Give me some ideas so I can go to my principal loaded with solutions, not problems.  I am desperate to get this problem fixed!  I'm about to pull my hair out over here if I don't come up with some plausible solutions STAT.

What are we going to do about daylight savings?

Dear blog world,

We gotta do something about daylight savings.  Can we all agree that it is just a complete mess?  I used to never be bothered by daylight savings.  I am now very bothered by it.   I believe that this is caused by two things: 

1)  I am older, and humans by nature like to complain more when they get older.  I suspect that with every passing year humans find more things that bother them until we all die as cranky 89 year olds.  Every birthday I have I find two or three more things in this world to be bugged by and add them to my list.  Daylight Savings made the list this year!

2) I now have a child.  June did not get the memo that we have all decided to shift our schedules one hour.  She wants her schedule the same.  She's being quite unruly about it, really.  Today she was an absolute mess by 6 pm.  I held off.  You can't put a baby to bed at 6 pm!  She'll be up awake by 5 am!  But she kicked and screamed and begged to go to bed.  I put her down at 6:30 with a blanket and she curled right up and was passed out cold before it was 6:32.  There will be hell to pay in the morning!  Daylight savings I blame you for this!

Of course, the easiest thing would be to not have daylight savings at all.  I kind of think I wouldn't mind it if we never shifted the hours.  But then people in Arizona sans daylight savings tell me that summer is horrible with the sun coming up at 4 am and all.  That sounds miserable.  And I admit I love the sunlight in the summer evenings.  July nights when it's still light at almost 10 pm are on my list of very favorite things in this world.

So I guess we could keep us on the daylight savings schedule forever?  But that won't work because then the sun won't come up in December until 9 am.  THIS IS NOT ALASKA, PEOPLE, WE CANNOT LIVE LIKE THAT.   Even now, in October it's pretty much dark until 8 am and that is horrible says every school teacher ever.  There isn't much that's more depressing than waking up, getting ready, and driving to work in the pitch black.  It's dark as midnight and you're on your way to a full day of seventeen year olds = constant depression and dread.

Here is my solution.  It ain't a good one, and it doesn't solve much.  But it's better than a current monstrosity.  I say we go back to the daylight savings switch being in October and April NOT November and March.  (Why did this change?  Does anyone know?  Who makes all these crazy daylight savings decisions and how do I stop them?!?) November is too late to change our hours back and March is too early.  By February I'm just starting to get a little light in the morning again and then the daylight savings gurus go and steal it away from me again.  Having the hour switch in November and March punishes people who start their days early.  That ain't nice!  People who wake up early and get their butts to work should be rewarded with sunlight!  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the extra light at night, but I certainly don't think we need it as early as March.  Let us early risers have some light too!

What is your perfect daylight savings solution?  Certainly there has to be one!

I slept over with a bunch of bloggers and it was only a little weird

Back when I first started blogging I had the idea to go to a blogger get together.  I had seen it on some person's blog who lived in my area.  I had never met another blogger in real life.  I did not consider myself a blogger in real life.  But I wanted to go to this little blogger party (hosted by Elisabeth and Brooke who are both good friends of mine now) but I was totally terrified.

Well.  I went.  And I hid in a corner all night.  I mean, not literally.  Okay, fine.  Literally.  I LITERALLY HID OUT IN THE CORNER acting like there was something very important on my phone because I felt so awkward/stupid/weird.  I felt like a big fat fake which is a weird thing because anyone in the world can be a blogger but then in the same breath it somehow feels like this culture that is very exclusive.  OH BLOGGING.

The point is I felt like a true idiot and vowed to never go to another blogger get together.  It didn't help that I didn't win any prizes.  I mean, maybe if I won something it would have been some weird validation from the cosmos that I was destined to become a blogging superstar.  When I left I didn't think I'd ever go to another blogging get together again because obviously I was a blogging poser and the whole universe knew it.

Luckily I got over that.  Or I became desperate enough for friends to try again showing up alone to meet a bunch of strangers who I've only seen on the internet.  Yep.  It was that one.  Desperate for friends.

Last weekend I took the blogging get together thing to a whole new level and went to a BLOGGING SLEEPOVER.  Yes, such things exist, and yes such things are so awesome.  My internet/blogging friend turned real life friend, Aubrey Zaruba, hosted the event and she is detail oriented and thoughtful and a hard worker and everything that it takes to pull something off like a blogging sleepover.  I could never pull something like that off.  But I'm grateful that Aubrey could.

The night consisted of eating. Taking pictures. Talking blog. Getting blog/social media/small business advice. Eating. Laughing.  YOU KNOW.  There was unstructured/ chill time and then Aubrey had planned a couple of sessions of "blog talk" where we brought problems we were having or advice that we needed with our blogs/instagrams/ small businesses.  I confessed my undying hatred for Instagram loop giveaways and they said it's okay, Bonnie, calm down, and I did.  It was great.  Blog therapy, if you will.

No, but really.  It was blog therapy.  I left feeling so inspired and motivated with my blog.  My blog is like this totally sweet, hip boyfriend who I am totally crazy about until he hints that some other girl is prettier than me or delivers anonymous notes to me that the world hates me or won't leave me alone when I just want to lock myself in the bathroom.  Yep.  That's my blog.  We've all had boyfriends like that haven't we? (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, PAST BOYFRIENDS).  Sometimes I need breaks from my blog/ high maintenance boyfriend, but mostly I'm enormously grateful for it and the opportunities it has afforded me.  Lately I've been very grateful that I can earn a small income and cover our expenses through blogging campaigns while Greg is without work.  Last weekend I was grateful for my blog because of the great friends it introduced me to and the way it validated me and encouraged me.  Actually, my blog friends were doing that, but blog friends came because of blog, so thank you blog.

Friday night I stayed up late late late talking to Aubrey and Sarah.  I knew somewhere in the back of my head that we were probably slipping past the 2:00 hour and then past 3:00.  When we looked at the clock it was 5:30 am and I about peed my pants!  I thought "I can't be up until 5:30 am!  I have a baby!  That baby is going to wake up in an hour!" Nothing like motherhood to buzzkill your all nighters hard and quick.

BUT the important thing is that I WANTED to stay up that late talking to Sarah and Aubrey.  I felt such a closeness with them and a bonding that I've been missing since all my college besties took off and moved to different states.  The older I get the more I realize how important good girlfriends are in your life.  I am becoming a wise old guru, guys.

Saturday morning after an invigorating two hours of sleep, we had one last little blogger chat before we all had to take off.  We talked about goals moving forward with our blogs and things we will take with us from this sleepover.  I think all would agree that it took on almost a spiritual feel.  There was an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and motivation.  I think whatever you believe in religiously you can agree that there are things that speak to your soul and inspire you to be better, kinder, more forgiving.  This blogger sleepover did that for me.  I left feeling happier + lighter + more unburdened + motivated + grateful.

Be proud of me, people.  I've come away since hiding in corners.

And now.  Pictures.

Agnes and Dora hooked us up with these sweet leggings.  They are softer and more comfortable than I knew possible for leggings.  You can follow them on instagram @agnesanddora.

Sarah, Tayler, Yo.

Jordan, Jen, Aubrey, Sarah, Tayler, Yo, Kaylynn.  Kaylnn is great with child and walks around in a constant state of glow/bliss.  I'm jealous.

I HAD DIET COKE ALL NIGHT LONG AND IT WAS MAGIC.

This is when Jen was telling us about spending a year and a half in Russia.  These girls are so bad A.  Jen was our hostess with the mostest.  The house was decked out head to toes in Halloween gear and she had sent her husband + two sons away on adventures so we girls could have the house all to ourselves.  It was such a beautiful home.  You know when you walk into a home and you can feel right away that someone very kind and purposeful about her life lives there with family whom she really cares about and works hard to take care of and protect?  That is how I felt when I was in that home.

Look at that diet coke with extra ice and lemons.  It was my nectar all night long.

Aubrey is so pretty and so great.  Thanks a million times for planning this, Aubrey.

We all slept in that bed together.

Kidding.

Or am I?

All pictures were taken by Jordan who is a ninja wizard behind a camera.  Follow her on insta @jordanbreephotography

Happy Halloween!

Do you all love Halloween as much as I do?  It is absolutely one of my favorite holidays.  Last night we had our annual couples Halloween party, and tonight we are carving pumpkins and taking June trick or treating.  And you know we've gone all out on our costumes.

To celebrate Halloween we are doing a special discount in the shop TODAY ONLY.  Get 15% off your entire order and consider it MYTREAT. 

(Use code MYTREAT at check out if you didn't get my hint...)

Happy Halloween!

When Someone Dies: What to say, what to do, how to help

I mentioned earlier this week that my cousin, Leanne, lost her husband, Spencer, a week ago.  Spencer leaves behind seven kids, ages 14 years old to 5 months.  We are all absolutely devastated.  The funeral was yesterday, and it was one of the most heartbreaking things I have ever sat through.  My heart ached for Leanne and for her beautiful kids all clinging to her.  It will be a hard road for her, but the spirit was strong and I think all who were there felt the intense power of families.  I believe strongly that Leanne will see Spencer again and that they will get to be a forever family.

It is always hard to know exactly what to say or what to do when someone we care about loses a loved one.  I think most of us certainly want to help, but are unsure how or we feel a bit awkward or uncomfortable around people who are grieving so intensely.  Since my dad died I have had several friends or acquaintances lose loved ones.  I always try to be extra sensitve and caring to them and I have had a few people remark, "You can tell that you've lost a loved one because of how you act and what you say."  While I am happy that people can see my extra sensitivity, wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to experience crushing loss to understand how to help those who have?  A few years ago I wrote this post on what to say when someone has lost a loved one, but I want to add a little bit to it today.

WHAT TO SAY:
"I am so sorry."  It's simple.  But effective.

"I love you."  No matter what, express love.  One of the hardest things about losing my dad is that I was now missing one of the people who loved me most in the entire world.  Somehow I needed others to fill all that love that my dad normally gave me.  Losing a very very close person in your life is so hard because you really do feel less important and less loved... making sure you step up to tell that person that just because one person who loves her is gone doesn't mean that there aren't more waiting in the wings to fill that love.

"I am praying (or fasting) for you."  I think even if people aren't religious, it is always comforting to hear that someone who is religious is praying for you.  I have felt very strengthened by others' prayers on my behalf more than once.

"I am so grateful to have known __________?" (Person who has died)  Knowing that you are not the only one who things your lost one is pretty great always feels good.

Share a memory.  This one is HUGE.  In the months and years after my dad died I would have people share memories with me about him.  I love hearing stories about my dad that I've never heard before and it helps to keep him and his legacy alive.  I love hearing the silly, fun, and happy memories from people who I hardly even know but who my dad touched in some way.  A funeral or viewing isn't always the best place to stroll down memory lane, but in the weeks after my dad died we had so many people send letters and cards telling us things they remembered about my dad.  This was so comforting to my family.  We sat around together and read all these memories from people far and wide who my dad had touched.  I think this is one of the most sensitive and kind things you can do for the close family when their loved one dies.

If you don't know what to say, less is more.  I think because of our own awkwardness after someone has died we want to fill that space up with lots of words, but those words are meaningless to someone who has experienced enormous grief.  Hugs, love, prayer, smiles are all more meaningful in situations like this than words.  That is not to say that you ignore the grief, I had a lot of people after my dad died who wouldn't say anything about it at all to me.  I knew they were uncomfortable and didn't know what to say, but not even recognizing the death or the pain made me feel completely alone in my grief.  A person who is grieving isn't going to bring up their pain on their own, sometimes you have to give them permission to talk about it.  "How has your week been?"  "Are you coping ok?" "How are the kids doing?"  Etc.


WHAT NOT TO SAY
"I can't even imagine."  I don't know why I hate this one so much, but when you've lost a loved one and someone else who has every person they've ever loved close to them tells you that they can't imagine how bad it sucks, it feels like it's kind of rubbing it in a little bit that you are the one who has to manage the grief.  I may be alone on this one, but it just certainly never made me feel any better.

"You are lucky that you got the time with him that you did"  
or
"You are lucky that he died peacefully and didn't suffer."
  or
"At least you got to go on that trip to Hawaii last summer."
When people say well meaning things like this, they are trying to minimize the pain.  But it doesn't help.  I had a lot of people say to me after my dad died, "At least you got home from your mission and had a few months with him before he died."  I hated this.  Was I supposed to be rejoicing because I got those extra months when other people got 30 more years with their dads than I would?  Any way I looked at it, it still sucked and I resented people trying to tell me that it didn't suck as bad as I thought it did.  No one who has just lost a loved one feels "lucky" or "fortunate" in any way.  I got to the point where I could see a lot of blessings that came from my dad's death but IT TAKES TIME. (I wrote about some of the blessings four years later in this post)  In the beginning there is just blinding grief.  When there is pain I think as humans our natural response is to try to ease it in some way, so we try to bring up something that might make the pain feel less intense.  Don't do this.  Just let the person feel their pain without trying to tell them that it's not that bad.  The person will eventually arrive to the day when they can see "silver lingings" but it's not your job to point those out three days after the person died.

A bunch of stories about someone else's pain.  Again, I think we do this to try to ease the pain of the sufferer by pointing out that others have been in pain too.  Right after my dad died I heard a lot of stories about other people and their loss.  I do think there is a time and place for this, but immediately after someone has died is not the time.  Let the person grieve their own loss without trying to crowd it with someone else's loss.  Let it be about them.  Let them be selfish in their grief.

"Be strong"  or "You can handle this- you are strong."  This one I am on the fence about.  In the right way this can be incredibly comforting.  Whenever my mom tells me that I am strong, I feel great strength and empowerment from that.  But sometimes when random people would start telling me that I need to be strong, or that I could handle this grief because I was strong, it made me want to tell them to piss off.  Heartache shouldn't be a consequence of strength and the way some people spoke made me feel like I had lost my dad because I was strong and because "God knew I could handle it."  Well, that's a super crappy thing to say.  It implies that if I were a weaker person God wouldn't have taken my dad from me, but because I'm strong I don't get to have my dad in this life.  Instead of saying "Be strong" or "You can handle this because you're so strong" say "I am inspired by your strength", "I am praying for you for strength" or "You have great strength within you."  I know the difference is pretty nuanced, but for me it did make a difference.

"If you need anything, let me know."  Well meaning people say this all the time, but it is a very empty offer, especially for people who are independent and maybe a little prideful.  After a death you need a lot of things, but I'm certainly not going to call my neighbor down the street and beg for help because that's just too vulnerable.  Instead say, "Can I bring you dinner on Tuesday?" or "My kids are going to the park right now, let me take yours with me."  (Also, if the person doesn't take you up on the offer, try again.)

There's a lot more that I could say, but my writing time is gone.  The moral of the story is that people who have recently lost someone need a lot of support and love, but they also need space to figure out their new life without their loved one.  Finding the balance is tricky.  Make sure they know how much you love and care about them and give real offers of help to them.  Hugs and chocolate also never hurt.

An opportunity to give

Hi folks.  Just popping in here real quick today to share with you an opportunity to give.  I mentioned yesterday that we had experienced a tragic loss in our extended family.  My cousin's husband, Spencer, died unexpectedly last Thursday at the age of 39 years old.  It is a devastating and heartbreaking loss, especially as he leaves behind seven children- ranging in age from 3 months to 14 years old.  We appreciate prayers and love for these sweet kids.  There has also been an account set up to help the children with future college educations, marriages, etc.  If you are in a position to give, may I suggest such a needed cause as this.

Here is the link where you can contribute.  Spencer's obituary is there as well.

https://www.gofundme.com/tresslerkids

Thanks so much for all your love and support. 

Meet 12 Year Old Bonnie

Since third grade I have kept a journal.  THIRD GRADE.  I have two huge boxes filled with my journals- each journal lasts anywhere from a year to two years.  (Except my missionary journals- those only lasted six months or so because I wrote SO MUCH while I was in Argentina.)  Recently I decided to look to younger Bonnie for some inspiration and knowledge because it seems like I used to know a lot more than I do.   So, I cracked open the journals. 

Well the journals haven't been much help.  Turns out I've never known anything, but I did once have the illusion of knowing something, so I guess that's worth a couple bucks.  Nine year old Bonnie was pretty clueless as was fourteen year old Bonnie, twenty year old Bonnie, and twenty five year old Bonnie.  BUT I have learned a few things about myself, and if nothing else, been thoroughly entertained.  And I can't be this entertained and not share it with you guys, so here you are people, a journal entry in the life of 12 year old Bonnie.

Oct. 6, 1998
Sup Journal!
Believe it or not the day is not quite over yet.  Right now it is 5:05 I just finished my homework so right now I'm sprawled out on the bed listening to music and relaxing!  I'm so tired!  I figured I should write in you now because I have mutual tonight and when I get home I'll probably be real tired.  School today was good.  Amy (names have been changed) wasn't there so Rachel was much nicer to me!  Let me explain this to you.  Rachel and I've been best friends as long as I can remember.  Than last year Rachel met Amy and this year they've gotten real close.  So basically when I'm around them I'm totally ignored.  They do all kinds of stuff without me.  They even sit thier and tell secrets right in front of me and then not tell me and say "It's a secret"  It always makes me feel bad and sometimes makes me cry!

Well, school today was OK.  Thier's this kid named Shawn Kelton and EVERYONE was asking me if I liked him, because he likes me.  Now let me tell you a little bit about Shawn.  He's a real dork.  He's real short (shorter than me) and isn't very cute at all.  He's kind of funny and real nice, but he acts like a real dork.  I went out with him in 5th grade and ever since then (I don't mean to brag) he's never really gotten over me.  Last year he asked me to this Christmas dance, and now (says everyone) he's planning to ask me out!! I don't want to hurt his feelings 'cause he's a real cool kid, and fun to be around.  He's also real annoying though.  Sigh.  Anyway.  More on that tomorrow.  I'm way excitied because this week is UEA!  Yea!! That means we don't have school Thursday and Friday, so tomorrow is the last day of school this week!  YES!  My family is going to MOAB for it.  School was fine today, we had a stupid test in science.  I got 6/9 right!  I'm not doing so well in that class.  I have an A-.  All my other classes I have an A.  I'm real excited because this real hot kid named Brandon will be at mutual. (We're combining with the other ward).  He just moved this summer from Texas or something like that!  Anyway, he's dang hot.  But sadly he's going out with this girl named Sarah Wallace.

Also, I wrote a whole nother page that day that I didn't put on this blog.  Guess I've always been long winded...


THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF AND ABOUT THE WORLD FROM THIS ENTRY:
- Sup was like the coolest way to greet anyone ever
- I figured out my theres and theirs (and thiers?!?) late in life
- I've always been sensitive (cried because they won't share their secrets?  I have absolutely no memory of that but my heart hurts for little Bon)
- Boyfriend criteria:  HOT and NOT A DORK.  It doesn't matter if a boy is funny, real nice, cool, and fun to be around.  HE IS A DORK AND THEREFORE I CANNOT GO OUT WITHOUT HIM.  Also, just to clarify, "going out" in my sixth grade world =  passing notes in the hallway, maybe one slow dance at a school dance, and absolutely never ever ever making eye contact with that person.
- I may have had too high of standards when it came to school work (A- is "not doing too well."?  Relax little Bon)
- The crossing my S's was a phase.  Luckily it didn't last long
- 12 year old Bon was obviously not cool and yet still struggled with humility (I don't mean to brag but Shawn has not gotten over me!)
- SO GLAD I AM NOT 12 ANYMORE.  Although if I did go back to 12 I would definitely stop being friends with Rachel and Amy and go out with Shawn.
-MOAB must all be capped because it's obviously the coolest city ever.

And, just to make sure we all understand the girl we are working with, here is me on the first day of sixth grade.

 Explains a lot, RIGHT?

OTHER STUFF:
+Thank you so much for your sweet comments on my post last week about Greg resigning from his job.  I feel so much support and encouragement from this community and we are so grateful.  We experienced the unexpected loss of an extended family member this weekend and are clinging to each other pretty tight realizing how fragile life is.  Relationships + family trump everything.

+ If you need a guilty pleasure binge watch series from the recommendation of someone who loves Kardashians and Bachelor, I present you with this.  Enjoy.

End of an Era

We've been having a hard time over here, and you can only act like everything is normal for so long before it's time to just come out with it.

Three weeks ago Greg resigned from his job at the high school.  He will continue directing the school musical through November, but he is done teaching regular classes.  It was a decision that was a long time coming and very difficult to make.  Greg has been working through some depression and anxiety, and ultimately teaching rowdy 17 year olds wasn't allowing him to heal and get better the way he needed to.  He resigned in order to focus on his family and work toward getting healthy and happy again.

I don't want to say much more than that about Greg's end of things because it's not really my story to tell.  I appreciate Greg letting me share this...  I think it is very brave of him to do so.

I'm sure that some people think that Greg and I are very irresponsible and stupid to let him just quit his job like that.  Others have been kind, saying that it is brave and smart of him to focus on his health and our family.  I switch off between the two.  One day I think we are so stupid and the next day I think it is brave and right of us and then that night I'm back to thinking we're just a couple of idiots failing at being adults.

It is hard to know what to share and what to keep to ourselves in a situation like this.  There's a couple of things that have led me to this post.  One is that yesterday I saw headlines that Hayden Panetierre has taken an indefinite leave of absence from filming her hit show "Nashville" in order to seek treatment for postpartum depression.  I like that she gave a voice to her suffering.  I imagine it is extremely difficult for someone in the public eye on that level to quit such a public job and take the time out that she needs to heal.  Depression is not like a physical disease.  A physical disease is well known and safe to talk about.  It is socially acceptable.  But there is a certain stigma with mental illness, a certain shame almost, attached to it and that makes getting better harder.  It is hard to admit that there is a problem.  I guess for me, seeing that Panetierre is going through this right now gave hope to me in a I'm-happy-someone-else-is-experiencing-this-but-I'm-also-sad-someone-else-is-experiencing-this sort of way.  There is hope in knowing that we are not alone.

The other thing that led me to share this today is this stupid little headline story I read on People magazine a few weeks ago.  Jackie Collins, who died from cancer last month, kept her illness a secret for years.  She said she "didn't want anyone's sympathy."  Well, that made me blue as hell.  She suffered in silence because she didn't want sympathy?  What's wrong with sympathy?  And what about all the other people who were also suffering?  Surely she could offer them some kind of hope, or at the very least, company?   If we can't share and ultimately help others with our suffering and pain and struggle, what is the point of it all?

So that's we arrived to this post about quitting jobs and depression and big adult stuff.  Truthfully, it's been very sucky and very hard for us.  It is also very difficult (and absolutely exhausting) to pretend like everything is fine and dandy when something like this creeps in.  Finally admitting to our families what was happening, and then our friends and work crew, and finally this blog, is a huge relief and burden off of us.

Although it has certainly been a trying time for us, these are some things that have helped:

1.  Support from family and friends.  My only regret is not cluing people in on what was going on earlier.  We tried to pretend for too long that everything was normal. Now that Greg has resigned, some people definitely think we're crazy.  But most people are very kind and offer support and love.  It has been interesting to see how many people I know who have gone through similar struggles with mental health, (or whose spouses or kids have) but have never shared so until now.  I wish this were something more people felt safe to talk about.

2.   My job.  I have felt immensely grateful to be able to teach during this time.  It gets my mind off the hard stuff and lets me focus on fake people's problems.  Hamlet's got problems, yes, but they are fictional problems and that is easier and even kind of fun.  Additionally, my students are sweet as sugar this year.  It's like the school scheduling gods knew the year might be a bit tough, and they sent all the big fat sweethearts straight to room K201.  I feel so grateful to be surrounded by these teenagers.

3.  Junebug.  June is the absolute light of our lives.  Sometimes I feel like I should pretend like she's a hard, cranky baby so other moms won't hate me, but that's just stupid.  I struggle plenty in other areas in my life, but being June's mom is not one of those areas.  June is this huge bright ray of sunshine in our life.  The only thing that hasn't been hard about this year is June.  I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for sending her to us.

4.  Therapy.  Well.  Kind of.  Our therapist up and quit on us.  But I think it was helping while it lasted?  We're therapy noobs but it certainly feels like we need someone to help us sort through a lot of this stuff.  So we're in the market for a new shrink if you know of a good one who won't cost us our entire savings account.

5.  This blog and our jewelry business.  In other words, you guys.  Our income has obviously been cut dramatically with Greg resigning, but we have been able to cover our expenses on my part time teaching salary and the money earned from the blog and Hey June.  You do not know how grateful we are for this.  I kind of get wonky emotional when I think about how much this blog means to me and how much you guys, the people who comment and click promoted links (like this one and this one) and read sponsored posts and buy necklaces, do for my family.  I know there's a lot of negative ish out there on the internet, but what I see on my little corner is goooooooood, and I'm so grateful for that.  Thank you for being nice strangers who are really best friends and who have done so much to support and love my family. 

6.  Anonymous flowers.  Still trying to figure out who sent those bad boys.

A lot of people have asked me "So is Greg looking for a job?!"  Right now the answer is not quite.  The priorities for now are 1) Getting Greg better and 2) Focusing on family and relationships.  Greg is also auditioning for commercials, films, plays, etc...  getting back to what he loves the most.  Our financial and work situation right now is not ideal, but there is hope, and that is worth something. 

The hardest part for me right now is saying goodbye to Greg at the school.  It is much harder for me to give up than it is for him to give up.  To me it feels like the end of a dream... the perfect set up of mom, dad, and baby all at the same school together.  The drama teacher married to the English teacher and lunch together in the faculty room while the baby is downstairs with loving caretakers waiting for her parents to pop in and say hello.  even looking back on it, I can't believe a system like that existed for my family, even for a year.  It is so hard for me to let go of that, to say goodbye to it.  On paper, it was perfect.  But I have to remember that it wasn't perfect in real life, as much as I wanted to force it to be.  I think letting go of the dream for me is harder than letting go of the reality. 

Now the key is for me to remember that letting go of that silly little high school dream will let us make room for another dream- a dream that is bigger and better and just right for our family.

9 Things I Don't Miss about Dating

It should come to no surprise to this blog world that I have a thing for reality tv.  I tell myself that I should enjoy intellectual and well written shows, but then I just can't tear myself away from the reality tv goodness!  I've been this way since I was practically a kid (I have vague memories of staying up late as a 12 year old watching "Average Joe" while my brother teased me for liking it so much.) and by now I've just accepted my reality tv weirdness!  Teen Mom, Bachelor, 16 and Pregnant, Property Brothers... hit me up with reality tv any day of the week!

Bachelor, my go to dating reality tv, is on sabbatical in the fall months so I need something to fill my dating reality tv itch until January.  Well, I finally found my answer.  This show.

Watching this show on MTV is everything I love about reality tv- twists, turns, and people who make really bad decisions.  Greg always jokes that I never turn down watching (or participating in!) a good make out session, so you know, those are some perks too... (Yes I'm a freak.) (So sue me.) (I love kissing.)

Watching these kinds of dating shows always makes me slightly nostalgic for my dating days.  But then I remember all the things I hated about dating and I don't miss it too much.  In fact, here's a fat list of things I don't miss about dating.

9 THINGS I DON'T MISS ABOUT DATING

1.  Wondering if a guy was going to pay for dinner.  I know the man paying is the protocol, but every once in a while I'd have a guy who wouldn't offer to pay, so I always made sure I had money on me too.  So awkward wondering, do I pull out my wallet, is he covering it, will he be offended if I try to pay?

2.  Having to tell guys I wasn't interested.  I got better at this toward the end of my dating career.  I practiced saying, "Thank you so much for asking me out and I really enjoy being around you, but I'm not interested in pursuing anything romantically with you."  It sucks, but learning to say that is 100 times better than ignoring texts, phone calls, hoping you don't run in to the person, etc.  It's better and more kind.  I didn't know that when I was 19, but I did when I was 24, so you know... progress.

3.  Having a guy tell me he wasn't interested.  The flip side of #2, but just as sucky.  Nothing worse than a guy telling me that I just wasn't good enough for him.  You know, because I didn't like kids enough and all. (Yes it happened.) (Yes I now love my kid) (No that person still does not have kids.)  I think the rejection of dating is what makes it so hard... realizing that just because you're not right for one person doesn't mean you are not cool, funny, smart, of worth.  Breakups were just rough on the self esteem.

 These were my besties when I was single.  

Good thing I had them to buoy me up because constant breakups can really kill a girl's confidence!

4.  Having a guy give me the run around.  One guy in particular comes to mind... I was his favorite shirt in the back of the closet that he just couldn't part with... but certainly didn't want to wear it every day.  It took me months of letting him come in and out of my life whenever he felt like to finally have the strength to stop allowing him to see me (even though I really liked him.)  When I met Greg and he made me THE priority in my life, I realized what I had been missing.

5.  Always having to look cute and put together.  I mean, I like dressing up like the next person but I love that when Greg comes home I can greet him in my yoga pants and sweaty T-shirt and I get the same affection regardless.

Only as a married woman could I really embrace the ugly Halloween costumes.  

So freeing to not have to look amazing all the time!

6.  Trying to impress new people.  When I think back on dating it feels exhausting.  Constantly putting forth your best self, constantly trying to sell yourself, constantly doing activities you don't really enjoy doing so that you seem fun or cool or hip or whatever else.  I already impressed the socks off of Greg and now I just get to be Bonnie- no hiding nothing.

7.  The games.  How long until I can call him back?  How long to wait before I text?  Is it too forward to invite him up with a group to go to a cabin?  I have to show that I like him, but not come off too overbearing.  I'm getting tired just thinking about it.  One of the things that attracted me to Greg instantly is that there were no games.  At the end of our first date he said, "I'm very interested in you.  When can I see you again?"  After years of dating immature college boys, it was music to my ears.

8.  The separation of family life and dating life.  A lot of guys I didn't date long enough to want them to meet my family.  I hated having to do things separately with the person I was interested in and my family.  When I was with my family I'd miss the guy I liked and when I was with the guy I liked, I missed my family.  With Greg I get to hang out with him AND my family AND my Junebug.  What a world!

 My brother, nieces, husband, child.  We're all one big happy family now.

9.  Never getting any sleep.  Is it just me or when you were single did you never sleep?  It was like there wasn't time for sleep or you just might miss your man?  I'm not real sure the rationale behind it, but I just know it wasn't a priority and it was absolutely not okay to go to bed before midnight on a weekend.  Now I go to bed whenever I feel like it, and I sleep long and hard thank you very much!

What things do YOU not miss about dating?  Or if you are thick in the dating life, what things will you be glad to say goodbye to?  And if you are looking for some new reality tv goodness, I highly suggested Are you the One.

You can view the trailer here to see if it's your cup of tea.

If you love it, go ahead and watch full episodes here.

This post is sponsored by MTV but the content and opinions expressed here are my own.

My instapiphany

(I published this post yesterday afternoon, received a handful of comments on it, and then I went to check my blog today, the post had totally vanished.  ?!?!?!  I am now rewriting the post (UGH) and wondering what in the world happened.  Number one suspect:  JUNE.)

Last night I was scrolling instagram and I had an epiphany.  In instapiphany if you will.

For months I have had this weird internal conflict with instagram.  It seems to be THE social media outlet when it comes to connecting, networking, getting your name out there.  And I have read a lot of stuff about how to increase your following, how to double your likes.  There are correct hashtags to use, there is correct lighting to be considered, there are painted nails and starbucks cups and brightly colored walls and there is so much to do make sure more and more people like your instagram!

I have kind of done some of those things.  But I'm not too good at staged shots.  My shots of random products on a big piece of white cardboard look like- well, a bunch of random products on a big piece of white cardboard.  My fashion shoots look like a regular person in regular clothes posing awkwardly in front of a garage.  I don't think I'll ever have what it takes to win the instagram game.

This is manifest in my somewhat stagnant instagram following.  I do an occasional loop giveaway to try to find a new crop of followers but they inevitably unfollow when 1) the realize the didn't win $100,000 to anthropologie and 2) they realize my pictures are of a pretty normal person living a pretty normal life.  I don't really have what it takes to retain a bunch of instragram strangers.  I think they see right through my white cardboard set up.

Then, last night, when I was feeling a bit sad about totally non related things, I started scrolling through pictures of the last 18 months of my Instagram.  From pregnant Bon in Germany with Greg, to brand new baby June to Christmas morning to French teenager to best friends to Mexico with my siblings to baby unicorns in my garage.  Instagram has often been accused of being a "highlight reel" and not a real representation of our lives, but I was suddenly so grateful for that highlight reel.  The last year has been extremely trying for Greg and I for a variety of reasons and it was this huge little blessing to be able to look at my Instagram and see all those highlights.  In a year of growth, of difficulty, of struggle there they all were for me to see- my bright, happy days, my laughter, my fun times... everything that I live for right there boxed up in a nice little app.

And then I started thinking about how crazy that all was.  That I basically have a little online scrapbook of all my happiest moments, my most loved people, my favorite things.  And I have that little scrapbook in my pocket with me at all times and it's accessible at any moment of every day.  And suddenly my less than perfect staged shots of diet coke and books didn't seem so stupid anymore.  Because I love diet coke and I love books and pictures of those things bring me joy.  I love my imperfect family and my messy house and my crazy students who say the craziest things in their essays.

That was it.  That moment.  My instapiphany.  A sudden realization that maybe instagram doesn't need to serve the purpose for me that the internet keeps telling me it needs to serve.  And that I should stop trying to make it serve perfect blogger bright blue wall purpose.  Because June giggles and cuddles in bed and hilarious things my students say are the things that are really bringing me happiness in this little life.

Came home today to see these two waiting for me in the garage. Nothing like a unicorn welcoming crowd.

A photo posted by Bonnie Blackburn Larsen (@thelifeofbon) on Oct 7, 2015 at 1:59pm PDT

And really,  is there anything in this world greater than a unicorn welcoming crowd?



P.S.  If you want to follow my very regular life on Instagram (@thelifeofbon) click here.

P.P.S. If you want to follow my dainty little jewelry line on Instagram (@heyjuneshop) click here.

P.P.P.S. Today (Saturday) is the last day to get your birthstone bracelet 20% off at Hey June.  Use code BRACELET20 at check out.  And while you're there you can add stud cube or bar earrings for only $5.  Holler!  Click here for shop.

P.P.P.P.S.  Oh, and if you need something to keep you entertained this weekend, this is the greatest new show on television right now... maybe it can replace my Bachelor addiction

4 Hurtful/ Misinformed Things People Say About Daycare

I have had this nice little daycare rant in my mind for months now and the mood is exactly right for me to unleash!  Be ye warned.  People are never directly rude about my choice to put June in daycare, but I get a lot of offhanded, passive aggressive remarks that let me know that people 1) are very misinformed about daycare and 2) do not approve of my choice to put June in daycare.  Of course they never say that outright.  Most people say "Oh, I think it's great!  To each his own!  It's fine that you put June in daycare.  I never could though, because...." x,y,z reason.  X,y,z, reasons are usually misinformed and a slight offhanded insult to me.  I know people don't mean to be rude and they probably really don't know a lot about childcare options, so I'm going to dispel some myths and set the record straight.  I mean, what else is a blog for?

4 HURTFUL/MISINFORMED THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT DAYCARE

1.  I would put my child in daycare but...  I don't want to miss out on her childhood.  I am not missing out on June's childhood, and I think the majority of moms who have their kids in daycare would agree.  I am there for all of June's big moments.  Do parents who have school aged kids think that they are missing out on their kids' childhood because they are not with them from the hours of 8-3 M-F?  Or do they still spend evenings, weekends, holidays, summers experiencing "childhood" with their children.  You never hear someone say "my child is in first grade now so I am missing out on his childhood."  I do see where parents who are spending 12 or 14 hours a day away from their children would maybe feel like this, but there are so many different options for daycare, I don't think it's fair that we assume anyone who has their child in daycare at all is obviously "missing" her childhood.

June's childhood.  

And me, not missing it.

2.  I would put my child in daycare but...  I don't want to leave my child with a stranger.  This one always gets me and I hear it all. the. time. Leaving a child at daycare is not equivalent to leaving a child with a stranger.  Who in their right mind would just leave their child with some random person they don't know at all?  I know exactly who is watching June, and I have a relationship with her caretakers.  They are loving, sweet women and I feel extremely grateful to know them and to have them spend time with my daughter.  I trust them.  I ask them advice.  They have loved and taken care of many children so they know a lot more about child rearing than I do!  And most importantly, they love June.  I feel like the main caretaker, Terri, at my school is like a third grandma to June- June doesn't cry at all when I pass her off to Terri and June's always happy with her.  Often when I come to pick June up, Terri (or one of the other caretakers) is holding her, feeding her, reading to her, playing with her, etc.  I understand that not every single daycare situation is like this, but I like to believe that more often than not IT IS.  People who spend their entire lives taking care of children usually inherently love children and are well suited for the job.  They give my child love and affection, and I have never once felt like my child was left with a "stranger".

June and caretaker Mariah (and other matching baby) (and awesome life sized stuffed tiger).

Terri and June.

3.  I would put my child in daycare but...  I don't want someone else raising my child.  This one is perhaps the most hurtful and also the most ludicrous.  Since when was watching a child during the day while a parent is working considered "raising the child"?  Greg and I have done all of June's "raising"- we are the ones awake with her in the night, feeding her, taking her to doctor's appointments, deciding when to wean her and what to feed her, watching her grow, taking her to the zoo, spending Christmas morning with her.  We make all of the decisions for June.  Terri and her crew at the daycare help us to take care of her but they do not "raise" her and I think that any working parent would absolutely agree with me that it is hurtful to imply that not having your child with you 24/7 means someone else is raising the child.  (I also gave my whole body to June for 9 months + 1 year extra so she could get milk from my bosom!  No caretaker managed that, so please give all credit of "raising" the child to me!)

Part of me also gets frustrated with the gender stereotype that goes along with this.  I have never once heard someone say about a man that he is not "raising his child" because he works.  "Oh, your husband has to work?  That's so sad that you're raising the child without him."  I mean, that's just insane right?  But we say it to and about women, which is not fair.  Greg and I raise our child.  We also teach school.  Even crazier still, we also watch movies when June is asleep!  We do all of those things at the same time!  We don't have to choose just one of those things!  What a world!

First day of kinderbeets this year.

4.  I would put my child in daycare....  if we really really needed the money.  I hear a variation of this statement a lot.  I don't think people realize, but what they are implying is that daycare is a bad option, only to be used if you are in dire circumstances/ facing poverty.   When I first went back to school last year I felt that some people disapproved of this choice because Greg was working full time and we didn't "really really need the money."  Well, let's be honest, we live in a country of microwaves, carpet, and smart phones so "need" is very relative at this point.  We don't "need" the money, but I really enjoy teaching and it is something that I feel like I am good at.  I get a lot of satisfaction from working, and I love to interact with other teachers, students, and parents.  We also like having extra income- without my salary we would be pinching pennies every month and never have any room to breathe expense wise because Greg as a first or second year teacher doesn't make diddly squat.  That doesn't mean that we couldn't do it, it means that we don't want to.  (Nor should we feel shamed because we don't want to be a family of 3 living on $30,000 a year.  Schools should be shamed for not paying teachers more!)  Our decision to have me work doesn't make us selfish or negligent parents, it means we want to live with a little more comfort and space salary wise, and no, we are not sacrificing our child's well being and happiness to do so.

My favorite thing about daycare miiiiiiiiight be that June gets to ride around in this "bye bye buggy."  It is absolutely adorable when I spot her in the halls in this thing.

I love that June has gone to daycare.  I love that she gets to interact with other kids.  I love that she has a variety of toys and books to play with- much more than we'd ever be able to provide for her at home.  I love that she has time away from her parents and is allowed to learn to trust other people and grow independently.  We will always be her favorites, but June does not cry when she goes to other people. (um... most of the time...)  These are great benefits to daycare!  I totally understand women who want to stay home with their kids and choose not to work.  This is a great option for many women and many children.  Working part time while your daughter is in daycare downstairs is also a great option!  So is working full time while your child is in daycare down the street!   Let's be understanding and kind about other choices.  Not passively aggressively kind, either, but kind kind.

SUMMARY OF MAIN POINTS:

Daycare does not equal someone else "raising my child"

Daycare does not equal selfish or negligent parents

Daycare does not equal leaving my child with a "stranger"

Daycare does not equal missing out on all my child's big moments

Daycare does not equal a decision made only if you are absolutely desperate for money

Daycare does not equal bad parenting.

DAYCARE DOES NOT EQUAL HORRIBLE, SAD, OR LESS DESIRABLE OPTION.

Thank you and goodnight!

Bracelets! Get yer bracelets!

I'm working on a longer post that will go up later this afternoon/ evening (come back!  I'm ranting about dumb things people say to moms who have kids in daycare!) but for now I am going to leave you with an exciting little announcement for me and my family.

We are expanding our Hey June jewelry line to include bracelets!  Aren't they purty?!

Choose the stone that represents any special time in your life you want to celebrate.  It has been so fun to see orders come in and see you all celebrating weddings, births, new friendships, graduations, etc.  There is a lot of difficulty in life, but there is so much happiness and that's what we want to celebrate!  I am a firm believer in that what we focus on expands.  When we focus on the good times, the good times expand.

We always offer a discount when we reveal something new in the shop, and today is no exception.  If you want 20% off your little bracelet use code BRACELET20 at checkout.   Coupon code is good through Saturday so you've got four days only to rack in your sweet savings.

And, you can also buy your bracelet in a set with a necklace.  AND if you buy the set you can use the bracelet code on that as well... BRACELET20 and you get 20% off the necklace AND the bracelet.

Thank you so much for your love and support.  I am so grateful for this blog and for you guys who read, comment, buy necklaces, and just send your overall good juju my way.  Our family has been struggling with some personal issues lately and just know that this blog and our little business has been a huge blessing and an answer to many prayers.  THANK YOU.

5 Ingredient Pina Colada Smoothie

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. 

All opinions are mine alone. #BestLifeProject #CollectiveBias

Mornings around here are slightly insane on the days that I work, and I will admit that there have been many days where my breakfast is the last thing on the priority list.  I am so good about making sure June gets her healthy meals, but it feels like taking care of my own nutrition falls further down the list of priorities.  (Anyone else like this?  I also find this to be true with getting dressed... I am always much more careful to make sure June looks and smells presentable than I am with myself.  Hmmm....)

The past several months I have tried to be better about making smoothies in the morning for me and for Greg.  My mom gave me a few tips to bump my smoothies up a notch or two in the healthy department so I thought I'd share my favorite one with you today.  I love this recipe because it is so easy, so quick, and has very few ingredients.  The less ingredients the better in my humble opinion... makes for easy and manageable mornings without skipping the early morning nutrients.

 

5 Ingredient Pina Colada Smoothie

Ingredients:

+ 2-3 pineapple slices (I prefer frozen for a colder, chunkier smoothie, but you can do it with unfrozen pineapple too)

+ Pina colada mixer or Cream of Coconut to taste

+ 1 Tbs agave (or honey works too, but agave is healthier and still adds the sweetness you are looking for) (more or less to taste)

+ 2-3 Tbs Vega Essentials shake vanilla flavor

+ 1 c. plain or vanilla yogurt

+ 3/4 c. ice (if your fruit is frozen you can nix the ice)

Blend items together in blender until you've reached your desired consistency.  Use more yogurt and fruit for thicker smoothies.

Although this is a recipe specifically for a pina colada smoothie, you can sub out your pineapple and cream of coconut for just about any fruit in the world.  I do the exact same recipe but use peaches or strawberries instead of pineapple and both of those variations are super yummy smoothies.  You can use any fruit in the world!

(*** Full disclosure*** As far as the ingredient amounts- I never measure when I make this smoothie, I kind of just throw everything in there and it comes out magic.  Ice, Agave, Pineapple will all depend on how sweet or icy or fruity you like your smoothie.  The amounts listed above are suggested amounts, but definitely play around with your amounts until you find what works for you.)

Adding Vega Essentials Shake to this smoothie is something new I tried this month.  It gives the smoothie more substance and nutrients without affecting the taste.  Vega Essentials gives me the energy and strength I need to make it all the way through my morning of faculty meetings, AP literature discussions and emails to parents. 

Vega Essentials Shake has 20 grams of plant-based protein, three servings of greens, 25% daily intake of food-based vitamins and minerals, plus fiber and Omega-3s—all with only 130 calories/serving.  It is also gluten-free, vegan, and made with no added sugar, dairy, or soy ingredients, artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners.

You can find Vega Essentials Shake exclusively at Target through January.  I found mine in the health, nutrition and weight supplement aisle on the top shelf.

As always, thank you for supporting the products that support my blog.  Happy Monday!