To be married

A few nights ago I couldn't find my toothbrush, but Greg's toothbrush was (for whatever odd reason) lying on the bedroom floor, so I picked it up and brushed my teeth with it.  No harm no foul, right?

And then it dawned on me.  What a weird thing. To live with a boy who is sometimes smelly and always nice, and then  find his toothbrush on the floor and just up and use it.  Shucks! This is what it is to be married?  To exchange knowing looks across a crowd full of people. To argue over what kind of dog to get.  To learn a new recipe because it's his favorite. To wait for him before you watch your favorite new episode on Hulu.  To stand up for him. To beg for a massage. To get so mad at him you could scream. To clean the whole house and buy decorations and wait for him to get home and notice. To wonder when you are going to have babies. To tell him to stop spending so much. To miss him when you haven't talked for eight hours. To laugh at an inside joke. To know exactly what his hand feels like in yours.  To yell at him to get into the other lane. To take a hot bath with him. To beg him to go to a wedding reception with you. To feel pride when he eats all the food you have cooked. To pray for his happiness. To watch Transformers with him even though you hate that movie.  To have a favorite restaurant together. To throw his clothes in the laundry. To ask him to pick up a diet coke for you on his way home.  To tell him to turn off the damn alarm.  To run your fingers through his hair. To plead with him not to get mad when you lose the keys. To make all big life decisions together. To put his name on all of your "emergency contact" forms. To feel his disappointment as your own. To laugh at his stupid jokes.  To feel safe when he is there. To swear at him when he beats you in tennis. To beg forgiveness when you hurt his feelings. To ask what he thinks of your new haircut. To record a basketball game on TV for him. To wear a dress because you know he likes the way it looks on you. To go to dinner with his parents. To know his smell. To follow him around the house arguing that you are right and he is wrong. To give him the hamburgers to throw on the grill. To know who his favorite actor is. To complain that he's hogging all the covers. To pick up his towel off the floor. To show him a new favorite song that you love. To plan your life around his and his around yours. To steal quarters out of his pants pocket. To get mad at him for being late. To make him late.  To pick up his favorite candy bar at the store. To spoon in the morning. To listen to him tell stories to your niece. To go for a run together. To tell him he's the most stubborn person you've ever met. To take his last name. To painfully create a budget together. To hope he doesn't notice when you buy a new pair of shoes. To sip from his soda at the movie theater. To give love. To receive love. To always be his number one priority.

This is what it is to be married.