The Life of Bon: Bachelor Recap Week 8: IT WAS A HARD WEEK.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Bachelor Recap Week 8: IT WAS A HARD WEEK.

Last night's episode was so hard for me to watch that I almost can't even write this post. (AMANDA IS MY FAVE) But there is so much to say! I will gather the strength to write it. 

We start our home town dates with Amanda.  The date with Amanda is in beautiful Southern California. Someone tell me why she hasn't seen her kids before meeting them on the beach?  That just seems so messed up to me. How many weeks has she gone without seeing her kids?  Six, even eight?  I would have been dying. If she's back in California why couldn't she have seen them? (Or has she already seen them and The Bachelor is just outright lying to us for entertainment's sake?) These are the questions the bachelor and never answers. 

In any case, her being reunited with her two little girls legit made me cry. I just went three days without seeing June, and I wanted to throw myself into a deep, dark pit so I can't imagine seven or eight weeks. Gosh, I just love Amanda so much. And I know it's probably not fair how much I love her. It's not that there's anything specific about her personality that I like more than the other girls, but just that I relate to her being a mom. And it seems like he's been through some serious tough shiz and has come out the other end of it not a bitter, mean person, so you gotta respect that. 

I felt the date went well in spite of the previews that The Bachelor showed that made it look like hell on earth.  Yes, your kid is going to cry in the car- spoiler alert kids hate their car seats especially if they are exhausted. 

Next we have Lauren's date in Portland. He likes her so freaking much- it is obvious every time they're together.  I don't get it and I don't like Lauren. Let the record show! There is nothing interesting about her at all. She has gotten so much screen time and still fails to entice me at all. Her family-- also boring. One look at her dad and you can tell exactly where Lauren got her looks from. He's an older hairless male version of her.  The only thing about this date that I like was when we got to see the little brothers grilling Ben about the fantasy suite in the credits. Now that's the stuff I watch The Bachelor to see!   And those sneaky boys kept a straight face the whole time! You gotta give them credit. 

Next up is Caila with the million-dollar hair. Ugh.  I still don't like her for her stupid mind game "I feel like I'm going to hurt you" crap she pulled on the last date that of course made Ben like her even more. BUT. I got to say she has one of the most interesting home town dates I have ever seen and I have seen years of The Bachelor, people.  YEARS. Season after season of The Bachelor have I watched. Obviously Caila is like a billionaire  because her dad's the CEO of a toy company... maybe I'm an 11 year old at heart, but designing my own toy house and then actually going back to the factory and making it seems like the coolest day ever to me.  Seriously.  I would be fascinated.  Greg agrees with me. That's obviously why I married him. We are two 12 year olds trapped in adults bodies.  Greg thinks Caila totally redeemed herself from her stupid "I'm going to hurt you" crap she pulled last time, which just shows what she has duped over or more than one man. (ALSO CAILA YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE OUT LIKE CRAZY ON THE FRONT LAWN.  YOUR NEIGHBORS WILL NOT LIKE YOU.)

Caila's relationship with her family is a little weird to me. Mostly because she calls her mom mommy  Also when she says "I'm afraid he's going to hurt me" and then her mom replies, "You are not going to get hurt. You are beautiful!"  The last time I checked, beauty is not an immunity for pain. I could be wrong. I'm not that beautiful. Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong my whole life?  

Next up we have a date with Jojo, but of course it starts with roses on the front porch and a long letter.   I thought it was from Ben as well, and I was like, "come on then you can't be this in love with all four girls!" Turns out it was from a guy/ ex boyfriend who only realized what he had passed up when she was on TV and turning a million heads.  That makes more sense. Ben comes over, Jojo tells him about the letter.  Ben, upon hearing that more than one man is interested in Jojo responds, "I'm not comfortable with this."  DOES ANYONE ELSE CATCH THE IRONY IN THAT?  In any case, Jojo tells Ben that it's totally over between her and the other guy and Ben rewards her with lots of kisses.

 Jojo s date is easily the least successful hometown date.  The brothers don't buy any of the bull crap. Anyone want to throw it back with me to Sean's season when Desiree's brother freaked out on Sean? This is not the first time brothers have had a serious problem with the process of The Bachelor. I did really love the what the one brother said, "you talk him up so much like he's the best guy in the world but you don't realize that you are on the same level. Don't underestimate yourself."  Or something like that.  I liked that. You can see there would be a serious psychological game going on, and I appreciated the brother's making sure Jojo knows her own worth regardless of if Ben likes her. I think that sometimes the main issue with The Bachelor is I feel like these girls do get kind of brainwashed to feel like their entire worth is dependent on whether or not this one guy likes them. So kudos to JoJo's brothers. 

Cut to the kitchen.  The grilling doesn't end.  Jojo is nowhere in sight and the brothers are just unleashing on Ben.  JoJo's mom resorts to drinking straight from the wine bottle, and the one brother stands in the back of the kitchen with his arms folded, ready at any moment to beat the crap out of them. Really! It's a lovely night!

None of the girls have told Ben yet that they love him, but they have all told us so going into the rose ceremony we know that all four girls are pretty smitten.  Jojo brings her a game with the red dress and I freaking love Amanda's dress.  I don't like Caila since her stupid mind game and Lauren is too boring for me to ever like so when he sends Amanda home I'm pretty distraught.  I wanted her to win the whole thing!   I knew she probably wouldn't... but I wanted her to!  Now I have to wonder if there's any chance in hell that she'll be the next Bachelorette. If Jojo loses I'm guessing she'll be the next Bachelorette. But if by some crazy chance she wins then Amanda might have a chance of being The Bachelorette. Lauren isn't interesting enough to carry a whole show so she's out and I don't think Caila has enough of a fan base. So maybe a 10% chance The Bachelorette could be Amanda?  One can dream!

As Ben is walking Amanda out, Amanda wants to know why Ben brought her back to LA just to dump her. A valid question but, Amanda, you do live in Orange County. Let's be honest we know you are like an hour away tops. Ben starts to cry when she goes home which gives me some kind of hope that maybe he'll bring her back, but I know it's a pipe dream.  So Greg and cry tears for the hot mom and the two little girls who don't get Ben for a step dad.  I mean, we didn't really cry.  BUT IT WAS SAD!   Here's hoping there's some amazing guy who has already sought Amanda out.

I'll be honest, I have lost a lot of my motivation for watching The Bachelor-- now that Olivia (who I love to hate) is gone and now that Amanda (who I love to love) is gone. If Jojo goes home next week I don't even know if I can rally the energy to watch the finale. Caila vs Lauren?  Just not interesting, people. 

Well.  Unless, of course, there's a toy maker.

No comments:

Post a Comment