The Life of Bon: To Meet a Hubs: Part II

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

To Meet a Hubs: Part II

I was going to write a Bachelor recap for today.

But.

I wasn't feeling it.  Didn't feel like writing about catty women who live without having to lift a pretty little manicured finger in a mansion together, lying by the pool with luxuries untold, all the food they can imagine and then turn around and call it "torture."  Don't know why.  I just wasn't into that today.

So instead I will finish Greg's and my love story.  The love story that I started to write on Sunday night with a passion and frenzy rarely seen this side of the Mississippi.  The story came fast and furious and it was all I could do to stop myself when I did.  I was inspired by the snow I guess.

Now, two days later, it's still snowing.  So we shall continue on with the story..  (If you haven't read part one yet, you're going to want to.)

I left you with Hubs uttering on my doorstep after our very first date "Bonnie.  I'm really interested in you.  And I hope this goes somewhere.  I want to take you out again."

I was shocked at his openness.  Gone were the games.  The facade.  The curtains to hide behind.  He was so refreshingly open and totally vulnerable.  And I couldn't get enough of it.

So I asked him what he was doing the next day.  Hey, who has got time to waste?

He came over the next night for my roommate's birthday party.  He brought his entourage again, naturally, but this time, when they wanted to go home at 11, he didn't shuffle out the door with them.  He made up excuses to stick around.  Acted like he was talking to perfect strangers at the party.  And he flirted with me.

Long after the last guest had left, Greg and I sat on the back balcony, with glowing white Christmas lights and birthday cake remnants as our setting.  We were in old white lawn chairs and the crickets chirped and the stars glowed.  We talked and giggled and  flirted and brushed arms oh so slightly long into the night.  Midnight, 1 am, 2 am, the hours passed too quickly.  I remember trying to talk and talk as fast as I could so we would never run out of things to say and he would never go home.  At the time I was a Sunday School teacher.  Greg confessed to me, "I try to pay attention to your lessons, but I get so nervous that you're going to call on me and all I'll be able to yell back is "you're pretty!""  What?  Can a guy just tell a girl she's pretty like that?  I thought there was a rule against such open, raw compliments?  His total sincerity had again knocked me completely off my feet.



The week continued in that way.  There was still the other guy I was semi dating.  On Thursday I had gone swimming with Other Guy and afterward we had bought a pizza and sat on my front lawn and ate it.  Greg walked out of his apartment, all dressed up for a shift at Olive Garden and saw me across the parking lot chowing down.  Totally oblivious to the situation, he yelled out, "We still on for tonight, Bonnie?"  I yelled back, "Yah!  For sure!"  I didn't care at all what Other Guy thought and that was how I knew that Other Guy was already a thing of the past.

We watched a movie that night.  Greg, (by the way, I just can't call Greg "Hubs" in these entries.  This was long before he was Hubs and it seems insincere to call him so.  He was just Greg at the time and so shall he be for this story) still unsure if I really liked him, (how many hints can a woman give!?!) was slow to make a move.  It was a scary movie, for crying out loud, and the boy still didn't grab my hand, didn't put his arm around me!  We sat like stone statues.  I was used to another type of boy, one who took with asking, one who didn't wait for third and fourth dates to kiss, and one who never told me I was pretty.  Thus, Greg's behavior confused me.  Did he not like me?

Finally, after the movie was over, Greg started to tickle my arm a little bit.  And then he held my hand.  And at twenty four years old, that innocent hand hold filled my stomach with wild butterflies.

But he still didn't kiss me.  He left sweetly and slowly, hoping he could see me the next night, and lingered in his eye contact.  And still no kiss.

I was disappointed.

The next night there was a plethora of people in and out of the house.  I love people and our apartment pretty much had an open door policy.  It was always a party.  I have never wanted so much for the people to go away.  One oblivious girl sat on our couch for over an hour and wouldn't shut her yapper.  It was past midnight, and I could tell that Greg was feeling rather helpless.  My womanly intuition told me that if I could get this crazy chick out of my apartment I would have a kiss that night.  "Oh, Greg?  Didn't we need to return the movie tonight?"   Greg caught the bait immediately.  "Yah, we better take it right now!"

We pretended to leave, long enough for the girl to scat, then locked the door and retreated back to the couch.

Where we talked.

And talked.

And talked.

I inched my face closer and closer to Greg's.  I engaged in the longest eye contact humanly possible.  He had to know I wanted it!  I did everything short of plant that smooch on him myself.

I remember at one point looking at the clock and thinking that it was close to 3 am and suddenly I was so incredibly tired. "Freak Greg!"  I thought, "If you're not going to kiss me then just go home already!"

As if he read my mind, he moved his head closer to mine, closer and closer until we finally locked lips.  It was deep and passionate and somehow at the same time soft and innocent.  


Greg pulled away and looked into my eyes for several moments.  "That's the first time I've ever kissed an older woman!"  He said excitedly.  (I'm a whopping two years older than Greg!)

Heavens knows I'll never let him live that one down.

I wanted more.  But he said he best be going home.

It was my last first kiss.  I saw Greg almost every day after that.  I have never had a relationship that escalated so quickly.  Every other boy on the side quickly faded into oblivion.  All plans could be easily rearranged to include Greg in them.  I had knee surgery and he came and sat on my couch and did nothing with me for hours on end.  He even gave me a card that implied some kind of sponge bath and then inside the card he hand wrote, "I hope we can reach this level some day."  Yes.  The games were definitely gone.  This boy was hiding nothing.

I was to become a career woman, starting my first official teaching job in Salt Lake in three weeks.  Because of this I was moving in twenty days- a 45 minute drive from Provo.  I figured the whole cute summer romance would blow over.  I honestly didn't think I would see Greg again after I moved.

Greg told me blatantly that he had three weeks to steal my heart.  I scoffed inside- he was cute and funny, but this wasn't going to last.  In turn, he confessed he had had a crush on me for months, had watched me teaching Sunday School, had loved my wild pink streak, and was constantly working up the nerve to talk to me.  He had joked with his roommates and they teased him and he jokingly practiced approaching me in front of the mirror.  He was whooped from the get go.

We went camping, we went to state fairs, we stayed up far too late night after night after night, watching summer slowly melt away.  We ate pizza in the park, we played hours of volleyball, we went on late summer walks.






The weekend before I moved, I asked Greg if he would like to come home to Price with me.  My mom was selling her home and needed some help packing.  I believe something deep inside of me knew that Greg would be a big part of my life and this would be the only chance he'd ever have to see the home I grew up in.

On the way to Price I read a personality book to Greg.  We drove through the twisty, winding canyon and I asked him, "When you are given a task at work do you a) get to work right away on it?  b) see if you can find a friend to help you?  c) procrastinate until the last possible minute...  His hand was on my knee, my hand on his knee and I looked up at him as he turned the corner and thought, "Oh my gosh, I love him."

I felt as if the wind was knocked out of me.  I was so shocked at my own thoughts, so scared, so embarrassed.  Did Greg know that I had just thought that?  It had only been three weeks, you can't just go thinking those things this early on!  I did my best to push that thought as far back as possible in the recesses of my mind.  That thought could never be allowed to come out again.

I was scared.  But also so excited.

My mom liked Greg immediately.  We bantered and joked and she said, "Wow, Bonnie!  I'm impressed!  He can keep up with you!"

That weekend he packed countless boxes and then mowed the entire front and back lawn.  He was good as gold.  Countless neighbors and old friends asked us when we were getting married.  Because that's how people in Price are.  I was absolutely mortified.


The only time Greg ever went to my home in Price.

Upon our return from Price, I dropped Greg off at his apartment in Provo, and then continued on up to Salt Lake on my own, with a heavy heart and a few tear drops making their way slowly down my cheeks.

The courtship continued.  Greg came up once during the week to see me and I would go down Friday and we'd spend the weekend together.  When you are that crazy about each other, twice a week is torture.  We had hour long phone conversations and were constantly counting down the days until we saw each other again.

Greg told me he loved me one quiet night in September.  I was too scared to say it back yet.  I had felt it so strongly, but was terrified at how fast the relationship was progressing.  I was more excited than words can say, but waited a week until I told it back to him.  We haven't stopped saying it.



Greg subtly began mentioning marriage.  Mormon courtships are expediated courtships.  We could sugar coat it all we want, but I ain't no dummy.  The reason our dating process is so fast is because Mormons wait for sex.  There's none of this five long courtships and 2 year engagements.  The whole process is much quicker, because, heck, a girl can't wait forever.

The earliest I could do a wedding would be summer.  Any earlier than that terrified me. The thought of a summer wedding excited and thrilled me.  Greg said okay.  He would wait until June but it was October and June was so very far away.

One stormy November night I thought to myself, "I'm so crazy in love with Greg.  But I'm not going to marry him for another seven months.  Am I nuts?"  So I marched myself over to Greg's house and said one word to him:  "March?"

He couldn't have been happier.  We didn't tell a soul, but waited patiently while Greg had the ring made.  There is something special and unique about a secret that two people share just with each other.  As if we were hiding it from the world- it was ours and ours only.  I imagine it is similar to when a couple knows they are expecting a baby, but hasn't told anyone else yet.  A secret for those two only- to share through smiles across a room and hand squeezes and knowing glances only.





Greg proposed the week before Christmas and we were married March 12, 2011.  The proposal was beautiful.  The engagement was hell.

I have often thought about how everything aligned so perfectly for Greg and me that late summer.  What if I hadn't been sitting on my  balcony that Sunday afternoon?  Would Greg have ever talked to me?  What if I had never lived in those apartment complexes?  Who would I be sharing a bed with now?

More than this, though, I wonder at how I was so ready for Greg at that point in my life.  My dad had died unexpectedly eight months before I met Greg.  With his death he left a gaping hole in my heart.  I grieved and I cried in private and in public I laughed and I joked, but I was hurting so much at that point in my life.  I tried desperately to fill the hole with something- with anything.  I dated and kissed more boys during that time than any other point in my life.  I dated boys who weren't nice enough to me, boys who weren't even close to compatible with me, boys who never called back before 10 pm.  I picked up extra shifts at Sizzler, read like a fiend, tried to keep my apartment endlessly filled with people, trying so despearately to fill a hole. 

When Greg came along he didn't fill the hole.  But he made the hole not hurt anymore.  The place in my heart for my dad will always be there and nothing can fill it or take its place, but suddenly that pain didn't define me anymore.  I could move past it.  Greg brought back the richness of life, the joy of the small moments, and the simple pleasure of enjoying a warm summer night.  He showed me again the purpose that my life has and made me wildly excited for the future.  My best friend who lived with me when my dad died,  lived with me when I dated and fell in love with Greg and knows me so well told me once that she didn't think I would have married Greg if my dad had been still alive.  That I wouldn't have "needed" Greg.  That I would have been too busy running around and searching for fun that I never would have seen the solid gold that was right in front of me.

Last night Greg came home late from his play.  He crawled into bed and woke me up by rubbing his icicle feet against the warmth of my sleeping legs.  
"Bonnie?" he said.  
"Hmmmm?"
"I was just thinking about how I talked to you on that balcony and got your number and I was pretty smooth when we started dating, wasn't I?"

He had read part one of the love story, that much was clear.

"Mmmhmmm...."
"Isn't it crazy how it all worked out?"
I turned over and looked at him, the same deep brown eyes that I had looked into while desperately waiting for that kiss.
"Yah.  We're pretty lucky we have each other."
"Who would think that day on the balcony that we'd be here in bed two years later with me warming my feet up on your legs?"

Yes.  Who would have thought?





2 1/2 years later.


I hesitated at times to tell the story of how Greg and I met, to brag too much, to make the relationship seem too perfect.  I am aware of people who have lost love, who have never had love, who yearn to have it.  I do not write this story to make others' pain more acute  but to share a story that is so beautiful to me.  Above all, I write it to share of the healing power of love, of its power, of its enormous strength.  And to remind myself.

All relationships have ups and downs.  It is often helpful to me to remember all these details of when Greg and I were first dating.  I remember them and fall in love with Greg all over again and suddenly  I don't care that he leaves every cupboard open in the kitchen.  I encourage you to write your own love story if you have one- to preserve every detail for your children, for your own enjoyment and invigoration, and to remember how good God is.

And if you write it- link it up already!  Valentines is around the corner and I am in the mood to read loooooooooots of love stories!   

Figured out the linky tool... so add your link below!

42 comments:

  1. I wrote mine a while ago, it's not as detailed as yours, but I think it's cool! :)

    http://www.letitshineblog.com/p/our.html

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  2. I've been writing mine for the past two weeks! Haha it might be too long for most people, but I agree. These memories need to be preserved! It's all the details that added up to my happiness, so I'll write them all! I love your story! So cute :)

    www.psmynameismadeline.blogspot.com

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  3. I wrote mine last year. Here's the first part http://believinginsomething.com/how-we-met-part-1/

    Our story makes me happy and I loved writing it. I also love reading those stories, what a fun idea right before Valentine's day! I, too, worry about writing about my marriage in fear that it would come across as bragging or seeming perfect, but I feel very strongly that there is so much negativity in our world about marriage. So many discouraging remarks were made to me before I got married and even after. I love being married. It's wonderful! I feel like that's worth sharing.

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  4. So beautiful, Bonnie. This is my favorite post from you ever.

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  5. Oh my goodness, I love ya'lls story!!!! Seriously, it's so awesome you found eachother! And your dress was absolutely gorgeous! Modest yet very very beautiful. You guys rock :) :) Loving your blog!

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  6. Love this post! It made me remember all those tingly moments I felt so many years ago. Thanks so much for sharing! <3

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  7. "The reason our dating process is so fast is because Mormons wait for sex."

    good to know.

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  9. Aww this post made me giddy! I was just reflecting and writing my story to my fiancé tonight... He's a billion miles a way in brasil. It's amazing how God truly aligns everything so perfectly for us! I would have never imagined that I would marry a little lamanite that I met while serving a mission. The lord is in the smallest details of our lives!

    Thanks for giving me so me a better perspective on a particularly woe-is-me night. Although I still have months to suffer through before we can get married at least I can say, with confidence, that in 2 years I'll be warming my feet up on him!

    Love your blog! Keep up the good work!!

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  10. So, SO sweet! Thank you for sharing your heart!

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  11. Oh Bon! You are too much. Especially with the beginning. Lord, I almost died laughing..it was that great. By the way, I hate women who act like that. It's like REALLY?

    And the part where you made a date agreement right in front of the "other dude"? Priceless.

    The best part though, is where you talked about the healing power of love and its enormous strength. My grandmother died specifically one year before my son was born and I too went out with guys that didn't suit me (hence the fact that I got pregnant THAT fast after she died). Fast forward to a year and almost a half, I met David online and ended up moving to CO from NC for us all to be together (http://beautesombre.blogspot.com/p/krimzon-kittie.html).

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  12. What a lovely love story! Thanks for sharing it!

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  13. This was the perfect way to start my Wednesday morning commute on the train into the city. Inspiring even. And I don't ever think a love story is bragging - I've read so many of them through blogs, and each one makes me more hopeful than the last... even if I haven't found who I'm looking for yet.

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  14. What a sweet story!

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  15. What the h I almost got too emotional at work reading this. Love this story!

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  16. I loved everything about this. It gives me hope that love and romance still exist!

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  17. I am over here cheesing like a goober at your story. So cute! :)

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  18. I love your story!! It is great every way. I started mine a while ago and will soon be finishing it up...what can I say I procrastinate. But here is part one :)
    http://brittanymorgan52.blogspot.com/2012/05/our-story-part-1.html

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  19. http://kelseylynae.blogspot.com/p/our-story.html

    There is my link. It's super long. I hand wrote it in a journal for my husband for his birthday last year.

    Funny story: I coach high school softball and this past season I was sitting around, chilling with the girls, and one of them said something like, "I'm kind of embarrassed but I read your blog." Another girl piped in, "Yeah…me too. I actually started reading the story you wrote about you and your husband and wouldn't do anything else until I finished the entire thing!" Long story short… about 7 confessions later I discovered that MOST of my team had read the story! They thought I would be embarrassed about them reading about our first kiss or how desperately I ached for him during our engagement [we also waited to have sex…the torture!], but instead I was so thankful that I could be an example of the beautiful power of love and marriage in these girls' lives.

    All that to say, I teared up when I read: "When Greg came along he didn't fill the hole. But he made the hole not hurt anymore." Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Share on!

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  20. [I posted under my husband's account…if you respond, don't email him, he'll be highly confused and wonder why you know about our sex life ;)]

    http://kelseylynae.blogspot.com/p/our-story.html

    There is my link. It's super long. I hand wrote it in a journal for my husband for his birthday last year.

    Funny story: I coach high school softball and this past season I was sitting around, chilling with the girls, and one of them said something like, "I'm kind of embarrassed but I read your blog." Another girl piped in, "Yeah…me too. I actually started reading the story you wrote about you and your husband and wouldn't do anything else until I finished the entire thing!" Long story short… about 7 confessions later I discovered that MOST of my team had read the story! They thought I would be embarrassed about them reading about our first kiss or how desperately I ached for him during our engagement [we also waited to have sex…the torture!], but instead I was so thankful that I could be an example of the beautiful power of love and marriage in these girls' lives.

    All that to say, I teared up when I read: "When Greg came along he didn't fill the hole. But he made the hole not hurt anymore." Beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Share on!

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  21. i love this! i wish i remembered the details of things like you and others do. i guess that's why i haven't sat down to write mine out yet. but i need to! thanks for the story and the push to write mine :)

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  22. I love this! I just had a baby, and so anything makes me cry. I really had to fight it on this post because my husband just went back to work after a week off for paternity leave and I miss him SO much.

    Anyway, I've never written our whole love story, but here is the story of how I got Adam to ask me out on our first date! http://probablycrazykimberly.blogspot.com/2012/10/happy-halloween-story.html

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  23. Such a great story! You guys are awesome together!

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  24. This is SO sweet! I love the part about he was worried he'd just yell back "you're pretty!" Like that's a bad thing haha. So glad you found my blog because I love yours!

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  25. Such a GREAT read!!! Sometimes I get so caught up in the daily life it's hard to remember the "first" lasts <3 Thanks for the reminder <3

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  26. Oh my gosh I love this love story. You're such a great writer because I could picture the whole story playing out! Thanks for sharing!!

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  27. I am new to your blog and probably old enough to be your Mom but I LOVE the way you write! Your story made me chuckle as I was reading it because you are just so honest! You make me smile....a lot....and I just wanted to say THANKS! (and keep it up!)

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  28. I absolutely, ABSOLUTELY loved this. I might just have to write my own, now. I love the way God brings people together. Sometimes it's so important to remember why we fell in love with our spouse.

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  29. So good. I'm always kind of amazed when I hear details to "finding the right person". Sometimes all the laments come together and two people just fit, ya know. Loved hearing yours!

    Here's part 1 of mine:
    http://www.agirlnamedgay.com/search/label/love%20story

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  30. I love it! Makes me feel all giddy inside remembering our own love story. This is certainly the 20 thousand foot overview, but here's our story

    http://goteambowen.blogspot.com/2012/10/our-love-story.html

    Those first kisses and first realizations of love were so fun! I totally wish I had the balls to ask my husband to be to cook me a hotdog shirtless...

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  31. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story!

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  32. I just adore this! I LOVE the part where you mentioned that Mormon courtships are expediated courtships, lol. It's so true! No 5 year engagement for me. I was married to my ex one month before our 1 year dating anniversary and am on that same road with my current beau.

    You and your hubs' story is so sweet. I got choked up when I read: 'When Greg came along he didn't fill the hole. But he made the hole not hurt anymore.' You are such a great writer and I'm so glad I found your cute blog!

    Oh, yeah...I'll be following up about sponsorship too!

    ♥ Talia
    http://rubytiaradiaries.blogspot.com

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  33. Ok..I'm a follower..I'm coming from Krista's blog, saw your guest spot and had to read. Your love story is awesome, you and Greg are SO cute! Your writing is fun, witty and full of personality...which I'm sure is true to life. I also like you because you said diet coke is a cure all...and I totally agree!! Plus, I'm kind of a neighbor..a southern neighbor from Dixie! :D Hope you are staying safe and somewhat warm up there in the north! :)

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  34. Hi Bonnie,

    This was such a lovely post. You both sound like a remarkable couple very much in love with Poeach other.

    I'm currently engaged and getting married this coming May. I totally related to your Engagement Post, especially the point about all of the overwhelming details. That is currently my world....and I can't wait until we're just married and living together.

    Besos xx

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  35. Correction: "very much in love with each other." Don't know what happened there. LOL

    - A.

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  36. I'm sorry for hijacking your comments section, but I'd like to include the start of my own love story.

    http://everytimeilookatyou-thestoryofus.blogspot.ca/

    Thanks for being such an inspiration, Bonnie :)

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  37. I've only written a silly bullet point list of our relationship.

    I wish we had a short courtship. Try going 6 years! We met when we were 16, making it a lot harder to get married quickly.

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  38. Aw.
    I knew the second night I hung out with mine he was THE ONE. And he still is, 19 years later.
    http://chickenwireandpaperflowers.blogspot.com/2011/02/my-valentine.html

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  39. I loved reading part 1 and 2 of your love story. Beautiful!

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  40. "I try to pay attention to your lessons, but I get so nervous that you're going to call on me and all I'll be able to yell back is "you're pretty!"--i think this was my favorite part. cracked me up.

    sounds like you've snagged yourself a pretty great guy, there, bon. lucky you.

    i fell in love once. so quick it scared me. i wrote about it here: bit.ly/WmVmeK

    march twelfth is the day my brother passed away. whenever i see that number, either in date or a numeric form, it's like he's saying hello. always surprises me to see it. but i love knowing such wonderful things happen on that day.

    and i'm single, but i wrote a pretty good post (about the same boy mentioned in the post i've linked here), that i think your readers might like. it's here: bit.ly/Y2mPz5.

    i'm glad you found picky. i'm glad i found your page and am looking forward to getting to know ya.

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  41. Bonnie,

    I absolutely adore you for sharing these two posts. It's a wonderful thing to read a great love story, and I loved hearing the details of how you two met. Y'all are very lucky, and I'm so glad you shared your story with us.

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  42. I missed this series last month because I was off getting married, so I'm late to the commenting game. But I had to comment because I love your story, I love how you tell it, I love your humor, your honesty and how you didn't beat around the bush. I also really like that even though we have very different backgrounds and beliefs, you are totally relatable. Thanks for sharing this :)

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