The Life of Bon: State of the Union Address: Larsen Family

Sunday, December 14, 2014

State of the Union Address: Larsen Family

My crew waiting for me to watch a movie with them.

It's been three weeks since Agathe has been a part of our home and family, and it's been one heck of a ride! It's kind of crazy to think that 14 months ago our family was just Greg + Bonnie.  Now it's Greg + Bonnie + Maverick + June + Agathe.  Anyone else want to join the flock?  We're taking applications!  Must be able to cook and willing to take the garbage can out on Wednesday nights.

I'm sure you're all just dying to know how we are all faring.  Are we alive? Yes! Well?  Ish!  Happy?  Most definitely!  Here's the update, folks.

GREG: He was one Do You Hear the People Sing away from strangling 40 singing seventeen year olds three weeks ago, but we lived to see the end of Les Mis.  He survived, I survived, our marriage survived and THAT is a miracle unto itself.  Right before the play opened Greg got some nasty pneumonia/ flu/ bronchitis that has stuck around for seriously a month.  Twelve bottles of Nyquil, one Z pack, and an inhaler later he says he's feeling better! Modern medicine at its finest!  He's performing in Is He Dead? now at the Hale in West Valley that opens on New Years he is spending his nights rehearsing over there while I am left a lone woman in the garden of Eden.  Or, rather, a woman with a baby, a poodle, and a French teenager in the garden of Eden.  Now that he is in the thick of this show we are both kind of like, "What were we thinking when you auditioned for a play that starts rehearsing right after Les Mis and rehearses straight through Christmas?!?!?  WE ARE IDIOTS!"  But Greg has really enjoyed acting in a show again, and it always makes me so proud and happy to see him doing what he loves most.  He plays an Irishman in the show and does one mean Irish accent.  It'd make the coldest of women go weak in the knees.

AGATHE:  I dare say she's fitting right in with the family.  She's trying to teach me how to speak French (Bonjour! Merci!) but she says my accent is just atrocious to which I say how rude!  The first week or so we all just kind of stood around like "crap, what do we do now?" but now she's cuddled up on the couch watching The Mindy Project with me and yelling at Maverick to stop chewing his bone all over her.  Yep!  She fits right in!  Agathe is probably the world's chillest teenager.  Like sometimes all the time I forget she's 16 because she acts like she's 34 and seriously already has life all figured out.  Her only downfall is that she likes to watch shows like Selfie and Devious Housemaids on Hulu, but hey, she can't be perfect, right?!

JUNE:  There is no person cooler in this world than June.  Last night she did a lobster dance on the tables of Red Lobster and giggled all the way through it. Then she sat in Santa's lap on Friday like he was her own flesh and blood.  Saturday morning she had her first successful roll over and now she's just rolling all over the house like she owns the place!  To say we are crazy about her would be an understatement- Greg and I pretty much spend all of our free time just making googly eyes at June and waiting for her to do something insanely brilliant like drool or smile to which we clap enthusiastically and declare her the smartest baby in the world's history of babies!  In other words, we are totally normal parents.

MAVERICK:  He's the only one who's not totally sold on June yet, although I do think he has at least accepted her presence as something that is not going away.  Baby steps, Maverick, baby steps!  Maverick has got the digestive system of a horse- he eats everything in sight including but not limited to: diapers, licorice, diapers, bags of chips, diapers, Christmas ornaments, diapers, books, and DIAPERS.  You can always tell when he's eaten a diaper recently because 1) the diaper is in pieces all over the floor and 2) Maverick's poop is crystallized for a few days.  If there were any chance Maverick could die based on the stuff he eats, he would surely be dead by now.  Instead, he lives on, the immortal dog with the world's strongest stomach.  He drives me totally batty most of the time, but he's wedged his way into my heart.  Crystallized poop will do that to a person, you know.

ME:  My hair is falling out in clumps (five months post partum!) and I'm one bad hair day away from chopping it all off Halle Berry style.  My wallet is still missing, (Friday night consisted of a two hour crying fit where I tore the entire house upside down and inside out looking for the dang thing.  I now declare the wallet officially gone forever.  I have accepted the loss.  I'm moving on.) I racked up a hefty fine on my sister in law's library card, and I've still only written half of the thank you cards to people who were so generous and kind when June was born.  Most of the time I feel like I don't have a handle on life at all but then I look at the people who live in this home with me, my friends and family who share my life, the Christmas tree with its twinkly twinkle lights, and by golly, I couldn't ask for anything more.  Life is good.

Psssssst.  If you are interested in ordering scentsy products for the holidays 
get your order in by Wednesday to be guaranteed Christmas delivery.

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