Well guys I’m home from a rousing week in Mexico and I had every intention of posting about it today but you’re going to have to wait because I left my SD card with all my pictures on it at home. I’m not at home, I’m at Greg’s parents house because we had to come up here to pick up my car tonight which was left here on account of the key got lost last week. I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I lost the key but I found that if I use passive voice instead and say the key got lost it doesn’t make me look like such an idiot. And my students say they’ll never need to know the difference between active and passive voice in their "real lives"!
We got home last night from Mexico and after unpacking, three loads of laundry, and a good lawn watering we were off to the movies to indulge in good old Jurassic World. This is what it is like to be a teacher in the summer! Vacation followed by movies followed by a milkshake. Don’t let anyone tell you differently! Every pointless procedure, every crazy parent, every late paper is worth it for these three glorious months! (That and the fact that the kids are hilarious and brilliant and teaching them is about as rewarding as it gets. And summer!)
Anyway we hit up the 4:30 Wednesday showing I had zero expectations going in to the movie, had read not one review, and knew nothing about it except for the fact that Chris Pratt was in it.
For the most part I enjoyed the movie and it was about what I expected. Dinosaurs! One got out! Now it’s killing everyone! It was nothing revolutionary or life changing, but it was great for a summer afternoon’s worth of entertainment. I raised no objections until we got near the end. Claire, our smart and capable heroine, (Or was she a villian? A bit confusing...) had to whip off her shirt to escape dinosaurs because.... because... because it was too hot for her sheer shirt? Or maybe it was just too impossibly hard to run with so much bulky fabric around her? It was getting in the way but the high heels were not? Or maybe Hollywood just decided the only way to have a real good dinosaur chase scene was if our woman looked good and sexy.
Thus, all of our ending scenes had Claire fighting the good dinosaur fight dressed like this:
Her chest was glistening, her tank top nice and wet, her boobs bouncing as she ran from those dinosaurs. The boys in these final scenes, however- Owen (Chris Pratt), Zach, and Gray- were not glistening.
They were not bouncing.
Their shirts were not wet. (Why is Claire so wet? There was no water in the ending scenes!)
Their clothes, miraculously, were all somehow in tact while Claire had managed to lose most of hers.
Up until this point, I had mostly enjoyed the movie. Claire was operating a huge theme park and obviously very successful in her job. She was strong, smart, and very capable. I liked that. Why does Hollywood, then, decide that a smart, successful woman can't possibly be interesting enough? I mean, surely audiences won't be interested in a woman like that! Instead we must make her sexy! Maybe if she's sweaty and hot in a wet, low cut tank then our girl will be interesting enough to be in this movie!?
Greg says that Hollywood sexifies men too. Just take Thor for example. I call bullcrap.