By now I am assuming you Bachelor fans have all seen Monday's episode of The Bachelorette, or if you haven't seen it you have probably heard about it. In a never before seen move in Bachelorette history, the bachelorette slept with one of her suitors before the appointed "fantasy suite" time.
There are many people who are totally outraged at this behavior, and Kaitlyn has been called a lot of not very nice names.
I, myself, am just kind of confused. I don't really understand standard American rules about dating and sex because I grew up in a culture and religion where we wait until marriage for sex. If I was a suitor of Kaitlyn's, I would absolutely feel hurt and betrayed by her actions, but that's because my attitude about sex is different from the majority of single people. I guess what I want to know is what are the sex rules are for the majority of single dating people out there?
I know that people are upset at Kaitlyn, and I know that her other suitors are going to be upset, but I guess I don't fully understand why. It is a dating show where someone is trying to find a spouse. My understanding is that the majority of Americans sleep with people they date before they marry them- that many people, in fact, assert that as their right. My understanding is also that all of the men are fully aware that Kaitlyn is dating several other men, so I would assume that they would assume that she will likely be sleeping with a few of them. My understanding is also that once there are three suitors left, they are all given an over night date with Kaitlyn, and often the couples do sleep together during this time. So I suppose I don't fully understand why it is such a big deal that she slept with Nick. What about this is a surprise? Where did she break the rules? Why have we all decided it's okay for the Bachelorette to sleep with her suitors when it's down to three but not before?
I am not defending Kaitlyn's choice at all. I think it was in poor taste and showed a lack of awareness for the other men's feelings. But again, that's coming from someone who has a different view of sex altogether. I suppose I am frustrated because I don't feel like our society can have it both ways. We can't say, "It's totally okay to have sex before you get married, it's an important part of intimacy, it's a way to show you really care, we're not going to be restrained by all that old fashioned nonsense of waiting for marriage, if you want to have sex that is your right and your privilege and a way to express yourself" and then turn around and say, "Can you believe this girl? She had sex with a guy she is dating! She is such a sleaze. She's the worst Bachelorette ever! She has no self control." PICK A LANE, PEOPLE! When is it okay and when is it not okay, you confusing American society?!
*Also, I have heard some people defend Kaitlyn saying that it is a double standard because the Bachelors have slept with the women on their show, but not the Bachelorette and that we dismiss the behavior for the Bachelors. I disagree with that. While there may have been early on shenanigans by some Bachelors (Juan Pablo, anyone?) there has never been a Bachelor or Bachelorette who has so blatantly and openly slept with someone on the show. Try to fight me on this one, but I have watched A LOT OF BACHELOR.