Four best ways to lose weight?

Alright, folksies, here I am with week two of my blog posts for weightlosswars.com.

It's harder than you'd think to write a post every week about losing weight.

And by the time I am done, my brain power is gone, with nothing creative or funny or even inappropriate that I can say on this blog.

So for today you'll get an excerpt from the weight loss post.

And if reading about losing weight isn't your thing?  Hey, I totally understand.  You go ahead and cuddle up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream.  It's what I'm about to do, afterall.

Well, well, well.

Look what the cat dragged in!  A little bit of interesting information about the best ways to lose weight?  Don’t mind if I do!

Yesterday, Kristina Fiore of MedPageToday wrote an article in which she listed the four most effective ways to lose weight.

Can you guess what they are?  Go ahead.  Try and guess all four and see if you are right, you little smartie pants.

Done guessing?

Here’s your answers:

1.  Eating less fat. (Well, we didn't need no doctors to have to tell us that, did we?) 

2.   (For the rest of your answers and the oh-so-insightful post, go here.)

On babies. Round 2.

Yes, you read right.  This is round 2.  Round 1 was in January when I made a deal with God to let me wait a little while longer to have babies.  You know, to let me be selfish and self serving and a bunch of other self- stuff that doesn't include babies. 

Actually, if I think about it, that was round 2.  The real Round 1 occurred clear back in October when Hubs brought home a stuffed teddy bear to cure my one and only fit of baby hunger.
So I guess if we're being all technical about it, this is really Round 3 of baby thought.  But come on, who's even keeping track around here?

I blame round 3 on Dennis.
My brother.

You see, a couple of weeks ago we met up for lunch.

Dennis and his wife recently welcomed their first little bundle of joy. (I gave the babe some life advice here.)  Mountain bikes and nights out were exchanged for pacifiers and burp cloths. Movie theatres and manicures morphed into monitors and medicines.

"So how is it?" I demanded to know.  "What's it like being a father?"

"It's amazing..." he started, "But...  it's also really hard." 
Another pause. 
Then. 
"Just make sure you're ready for it."

And, just like that, we were done, on to another topic.

But the line stuck with me.

Make sure you're ready for it.

So I thought about it a little and I thought about it a lot and I got to wondering.  How exactly do you get ready for cooing and cuddles and soft, bubbly kisses?

My oldest brother and his two sons welcoming their little sis to the family. 2010.

And more importantly, how do you get ready for sleepless nights, lost independence, and a lifetime of caring for someone else? 

Are you ever really ready?  And when you are, how can you possibly know?

I ain't no young buck to be having babies- especially in Mormonville.  I'm pushing 26 and my friends from every stage of life- high school, college, even my mission buddies- are multiplying and replenishing and fructifying and I'm just here waiting to be ready.

I guess I've always been hesitant to take big, life changing steps.  Especially when there's no exit door.  And let's face it, having a baby is the defintion of a big life changing step with no exit in sight.  The only reason I was able to commit to a marriage was because of days and weeks and months spent with Hubs, a shared love, and an assurance that I couldn't live without him. Plus, it didn't hurt that I had dated countless losers before I landed on Hubs.  When I met him he blew the competition away, and I knew I had found "the one." 

But how can I be certain that I don't need countless babies before I find the one that suits me best?  How do I know that the first 20 babies won't dissatisy me in some way and leave me feeling that there is certainly a better baby out there if I just keep looking? 

I don't understand our society- they preach down your throat, "make sure you marry the right person, you gotta know him good, make sure you have exhausted all possibilities and found the absolute perfect one and only right person for you." And then, they go and expect you to invite a baby, a perfect stranger, to live with you and always be a part of your life without ever once having been introduced! 

Some nerve, our society, I tell you!
The more I think about it, the more I am shocked that anyone chooses to have babies.  Do people even realize what they are giving up when they do so?  A baby means no more freedom.  No more selfishness.  No more long hot bubble baths when I get home from school.

And I like long hot bubble baths.

My best friend, Akasha, is two years younger than I am.  We were friends throughout high school, roomed together in college, and even spent four months bathing in the Hawaiian sun before I booked it for Argentina.

Single and carefree. Hawaii 2007.

She's expecting baby #3 in July.

And I wonder, were you ready, Akasha?  Were you ready for naptime and playtime and interrupted dinners and hellish plane rides and car seats and babysitters and colic and jaundice and oh my goodness I'm overwhelmed.

I guess I just had to get it off my chest.  Because you know that boy I live with, Hubs?  He's ready.  Ready whenever I am.  He's always ready, though.  He was ready to marry me months before I knew his name, so obviously he's going to be ready for a baby. 

But how does a girl (I guess at this point in my life I should be referring to myself as a woman?) know that she's ready?  Ready to take a leap of faith and ready to welcome a person she's never met into her life and ready to give up her entire life for a complete stranger?!  I mean, I know someone did it for me (thanks mama!), but what if I am not selfless enough to do that for someone else?

I admire women who can pop out babies right and left.  I really do.  My mother was one of them.  I admire their ability to nurture, to give, to sacrifice.  I admire that Akasha can be so completely happy with her little family and not resent those toddlers for anything.  I admire women that just want to hold their babies and love them and are so happy and content to stay at home and raise their children. 

But can all women do that?

Your thoughts? 

Please.

VAY-CAY, PARTE DOS

LESSONS LEARNED FROM VAY-CAY

PARTE DOS

Because really... there are so many lessons, you can't just fit them all into one post...

Lesson #18: 

(For the first 17 lessons, see here, and trust me, you don't wanna miss them!) 
Tennis is more fun than I have thought my previous 25 years. 
Thanks to a patient brother, Reed, and a few quick tips,
I felt a lot more confident with a racket in my hand.

Here's a tip I'll share with you because I'm that kind of gal: 

You can't just hit it as hard as you feel like. 

It's not baseball.

Lesson #19:

Do not ask your sister to take a picture of you by the beach.

She'll zoom in way too much.

DO ask your sister to borrow her jacket/hoodie.

It'll save your butt on that windy ride.

(Also a lesson learned- those sunglasses are too big for my face.  I look like a bug.)

Lesson #20:

If you want to look as cool as Dennis do the following:

Have a camera strapped to your hat.

Carry a camera in your hand.

Have one pant leg rolled up, one pant leg rolled down. 

Lesson #21:

Every time you visit Monterey go on the 17 mile bike ride.

It's gorgeous.

And right along Pebble Beach.

You people have heard of Pebble Beach, right?!?

(And don't you just LOVE Ashley's fluorescent shoes?)

Lesson #22:

I have some cool brothers and sisters.

Of course, I already knew that.

Lesson #23:

If you want to go to Clint Eastwood's ranch for dinner,

You are going to pay a pretty penny.

And they are going to tell you cell phones are not allowed in the dining area.
Because they're hoitey toitey like that.

Lucky for me, my students have taught me how to discreetly text under tables.

I followed the Jazz game AND texted Hubs without even drawing suspicion.

Lesson #24:

The best way to start a Saturday morning is tea with your niece.

Lesson #25:

If you're as cool as Caroline, tea is best if sipped with a fork.

Lesson #26: 

Little kids' clothes these days are just as cute as adult clothes.

Just look at that pink fluorescent jacket. 

What I wouldn't give to have one in my size.

Lesson #27:

If a little girl falls asleep on you at the beach for the second day in a row,

AND you have no stroller...

it's best to just cover her face up with a hat and let her sleep it out.

Lesson #28:

A vay-cay isn't a vay-cay unless you're at the beach every day.

Lesson #29:

When playing Ultimate Frisbee on the beach, watch out for dried up seaweed poking up.

It'll getcha when you least expect it.

And then you might let a curse word slip.

And we wouldn't want that on vay-cay, would we?

Lesson #30:

If you have the choice to throw a frisbee to...

three girls

or

a boy...

Choose the boy.

Lesson #31:

When I have kids,

I want kids like this baby.

She never cries.

Falls asleep whenever you want her to.

And just sits there and smiles.

Hmmmmm.....
Don't mind if I do.

Lesson #32:

Matching hats are not out.

They are in.

Especially if you're matching your two year old kiddo.

(I know I'm biased because I'm her aunt, but doesn't little Caroline look like a baby model here?)

Lesson #33:

If going to the beach,

wear bright red lipstick.

Because, come on.

Who DOESN'T wear bright red lipstick to the beach?

Lesson #34:

If you go on vacation and leave your Hubs at home,

You're going to miss him ALOT.

And ALOT.

And ALOT.

And when you see him again after five days apart,

you're even going to feel a little nervous,
with butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Even if he is waiting at the wrong terminal...

And he's going to give you lots of cute little kisses,

and tell you he missed you,

and he's so glad you're back,

and he can't even sleep when you're gone, gosh darn it!

And you're going to think, "Man I sure love vacation...
...but I love this boy even more."



Lessons Learned from Vay-Cay

Yah, yah, so I've been on vacation the past couple of days.  That doesn't mean I'm not learning.  Who says you have to be in school in order to fill your minds with wisdom?  Not me!  I present to you, the first in a two part series...

THINGS I LEARNED ON VACATION:

Lesson #1:  John Steinbeck- one cool dude. 

Husband to three wives, writer of two dozen books, and owner of one dog named Charly.

Who could ask for a better life?

Lesson #2:  Owners of the John Steinbeck museum:  They have bad taste.

A giant poster of Marilyn Monrow holding artichokes (?) with a creepy grin? 

Extremely strange. 

Naturally, I demanded my niece get in the picture so I could have it as part of my history forever.

Lesson #3:  John Steinbeck wrote on his books and now they are saved in a very important museum.  This means I am justified in writing all over my books because one day they, as well, will be preserved in a museum such as this one.

Lesson #4:  My nieces are cute and one day I will want kids, as evidenced by how much I enjoy being around these two.

Lesson #5:  Hmmm... some good writing advice from Steinbeck.  Thank you, good sir!

Lesson #6:  If I ever want to be a famous writer and have people remember me after I am gone I must

1) live in an awesome place like Monerey and

2) Have an absolutely beautiful home so people can drive past it and say "That's where Bonnie lived!" 

This is Steinbeck's house-

Q:  Do you think Johnny's at home?

A:  No, he's dead, and if you don't know that you need to brush up on your Steinbeck!

Lesson #7:  There are lots of places you could sit in a car. 

Crammed inbetween two car seats in the back is not the best seat in the vehicle. 

It is also not the worst.

Lesson #8:  It would be worth it to pay ridiculously outrageous prices for housing if I could have an ocean view like this one every day. 

Now, if I could just figure out how to make ridiculously outrageous amounts of money...

(High schoolers, I hate to tell you, you are not my answer)

Lesson #9:  I should not take pictures in front of myself in front of windows.

Lesson #10:  California is kind of pretty, I guess...

Lesson #11:  If two babies fall asleep on you on your way to the beach and you still want to enjoy your time in the sand and the sun, the best thing to do is to just put both sleeping babies in a stroller, one on top of the other. 

Do you need to worry that the upper baby will crush the lower baby? 

 Ummm... no. 

I wouldn't.

Lesson #12:  No matter where you go, you will always find entertainment in Asians tourists. 

Here we have a bunch of Japanese surrounding a squirrel and taking pictures of him. 

The squirrel= not that entertaining. 

The Asians freaking out over the squirrel= Very entertaining.

Lesson #13:  If you need to learn how to throw a football, just ask Dennis.  He'll help you out. 

Also, little kids have a very high tolerance to cold water. 

These young bucks were absolutely frolicking in the water, despite freezing temperatures.

Lesson #14:  A requirement for being on vacation is wearing sunglasses. 

Also, the beach in Northern California in April is not as warm as one would hope. 

Swimsuits not necessary.

Lesson #15:  Trying to get boys to look at cameras is most often a futile endeavor.

and lastly....

Lesson #16:  Monterey in the spring can be quite windy.  Don't believe me?  Just look at my sister's hair after an entire afternoon spent outside. 

(Enjoy this picture while it lasts, folks. 

I can guarantee that as soon as my sis sees it, she will make me take it down.)

Check in tomorrow for part 2 of lessons learned on vacation.

You're not going to want to miss it folksies!

Exciting News!

Listen up, peeps! I've got something exciting to say, so you better pay attention! 

Starting right this very second, I am going to be writing weekly articles for weightlosswars.com.  Pretty legit, right?!?  The concept of the site is brilliant- people compete with others to see who can lose the most amount of weight.  According to the creators, "Weightlosswars pits its members against each other in fun, exciting, encouraging, supporting, and down right dirty weight loss competitions. "  It's like The Biggest Loser for everybody and anybody. 

Toldya it was genius.

I know what you're thinking.  What in the world makes me think I qualified to write weight loss articles?  Um.... because I like to write?  Really, I have no idea.  Someone asked me to and I said yes.  That's good enough, right? 

My first article was today.  So go ahead and read it and let me know what you think... AKA say really nice things about it.

And now, without furthur ado, I present to you, Bonbon, the weightloss writer!

When I was twenty years old, my then-boyfriend, Shane, asked me “What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through ?”

Shane was a recovering drug addict and was going through one of the most difficult stages in his life. I wanted so badly to relate to him. To show him that I understood what he was going through. To show him that I could be strong, just like him.

I racked my brain. Nothing was coming.

(Read the rest of the story here.)

I'm on vay-cay, how do you expect me to write?!?!

Oh, hey guys.

Um...  I have to tell you something.  But it's not easy.  Here goes.  I think....  No, that's all wrong.  I feel... no, not that either.  I guess what I'm trying to say is... how do I say this without hurting your feelings...deep breath.... I don't feel like writing a post today. 

There.  There it is.  I don't want to write today.  And I'm not going to, DANG IT! 
Vacations don't lend themselves too well to blogging, you understand, don't you?  (FYI: Hubs is not with my on this vacation. He couldnt' swing the trip because our spring breaks don't align and he has classes and rehearsel and tests to study for. Let's all have a moment of silence for Hubs.)  Now, back to the issue at hand.  How can I write when I've got to spend my day teasing my two nieces and catching up with my sister and visiting JOHN STEINBECK museums? (Yes, you heard right.  It's an English teacher's wildest dream. I'm going to spend the whole day with John Steinbeck, who I lovingly refer to as Johnny.  We're that tight.) For crying out loud, I can't just be sitting around writing on my blog!!!  Come on, people!  Show me so sympathy around here!

Old Steinbeck, author of my two faves: Of Mice and Men and East of Eden
Grapes of Wrath, not so much.

ANYWAY... What I am trying to get out here is that I won't be posting much today and you're going to have to go without.  I don't know how you'll survive.  Also, I'm in a weird mood.  I just feel like that should be clarified before I write anything else.  I mean, hey, I'm on vacation, you can't blame a girl for acting a little crazy around here!  Or can you?

ANYWAY... I had a problem on my hands... the problem being that I didn't want to write, but that I felt like I owed it to my readers to write something.  Which makes me wonder how do you people get off thinking I owe you anything?  Oh, probably because you read what I write and support me and leave nice comments.  Hmmm... yah, I guess I might owe you.  You win.

ANYWAY... I didn't know what to do about this small conundrum.  (And ain't conundrum a diddy of a word?!?)  Lucky for me, I found some smart, pretty girl to guest post on the blog today.  You know how I feel about smart, pretty girls, don't you?  They rock.  And I love them.  So... without further ado... and before I say anything else that offends me readers (Upon editing this, I discovered that I had written me instead of my... but I decided to keep it that way. It sounds Irish, and I sure love the Irish!)  ....take it away, Elease!

oh, how lucky i am to be a guest on such a lovely blog today. 

being a guest is quite exciting.

it means i get to {hopefully} meet new followers,

which of course leads me to your cute blog.

yes, you. and your blog.

so, be certain to stop on over to the little lovebirds and leave a comment

so i can discover the beauty behind your blog.

Bonnie here:  I know what you're thinking.  This girl is pretty.  And she looks smart.
I told you I have a thing for smart, pretty girls.  Next time just take my word, ok?

i thought i'd do a little introducing of myself through listing

a few of my favorite things:

{as of lately}

the one thing i crave most: 

time with lovebird. {aka my hubby}

we are oh-so-busy. sometimes too busy.

my guilty pleasures {or it's safe to say: sweets}:

cadbury eggs, this gelato, chocolate covered cinnamon bears.

dark chocolate with sea salt.

and the classic soft serve cone from mcdonald's.

yep, completely guilty. 

if i could go on a shopping spree right now:

my bags would be overflowing with these items.

my go to lunch at the moment {and has been for the last month}:

a salad made with these essential {and organic} ingredients:

broccoli {lots of it}, spinach, yummy veggies, blue cheese crumbles, cranberries, sunflower seeds. 

oh, and this poppy seed dressing. 

my absolute favorite, or rather addiction. 

being a ballerina i love these three things:

yumiko leoatards.

classical music. {nerd alert}

and the ability to express or vent my emotions through movement. 

my little weaknesses:

downton abbey, blogging, and snuggling with lovebird.

all things which distract me entirely 

from doing my homework. or cleaning my house. 

or simply getting anything productive done for that matter.

favorite trends at the moment:

bare eyes with coral lips.

bright colors. nothing like a good pop.

floral pants. obviously.

and soft pastel nail polish. essie, please.

favorite little quote this week:

"you can never be overdressed or overeducated."

-oscar wilde

two things which i absolutely love: learning and fashion. 

well, there you have it.

that's me in a nutshell. or at least as of right now. 

now, i can't wait to meet you.

xoxo

There you have it, people, ELEASE!!!  Now go give her a visit and leave her some love.  She's perfect in every way.  Except she doesn't capitalize her "i"s, but I guess I can learn to forgive that.  Just know, Elease, if you were my student I would circle every one of those uncapitalized "i"s in red. 

And sorry for the sass.

I really do think you're great.

And smart.

And pretty.

Okay, I'm so done.  John Steinbeck, here I come!

Peace OUT, Yo.

If you're looking for me, don't look at home.

I'm out.

Out and about, yo.

On my way to Monterey, CA to spend some time with the sis who lives there.

I know what you're thinking.

Wait a second, YOU!  Weren't you just in Las Vegas?!?!

Yes.  Yes I was.

Don't be mad.

Just know that if you spent all day every day with seventeen year olds you would need the same!!!

And now, as I am California bound, I leave you with some pictures of the last time I was in Northern California.

Summer after my freshman year.

Santa Cruz, CA with Kalista and Akasha.

Single and carefree.

Now we're all married and have a combined total of four kids (going on five!)

My how the times do change.

Oh, Akasha, look at you, you little head turner.

Kalista, you too. 

Don't worry- We're all sexy.

Perversion at its finest

Do you know what I was thinking today?

I was thinking, "Geez.  I sure do like writing on my blog.  And I really like the people who read and comment on my blog.  They're just a bunch of sweethearts."

And then, with that warm fuzzy feeling glowing deep in my heart, I pulled up my blog page and started looking around the familiar territory.  I noticed my "Top Five" most popular posts on the right sidebar of the blog had shifted.  A new post had knocked another post out of its top spot.

I stared at the top five posts, and then I realized something.

You readers might be sweethearts, yes, but you're also a bunch of perverts.

Of all the posts I've written about love, family, marriage, the meaning of life, the joys of teaching, the fulfillment of relationships, etc..... the five that my readers have proved most popular are:

1.  Lessons at the gyno
2.  Prank time
3.  The day I stole underwear
4.  Let's talk about sex, baby!
5.  My pantless student

Well, at least I know the crowd I'm working with, right?

So tell me, readers, exactly why is it that you love these perverted stories so much more than all others?

Please.

Enlighten me.

So So So Scandalous!

April Fools: A History

My passion for April Fools runs deep and true.

What is better than a day to skip out on work and school, play jokes on your friends all day, and prank to your heart's delight?

My obsession with April Fool's Day came in high school.  I had the genius idea to put flyers on all the cars parked at Albertson's that read: "HUGE ELECTRONIC SALE!  EVERYTHING MUST GO!  MOVING OUT OF COUNTRY IN THREE DAYS"  and below list insanely cheap prices for big screen tvs, laptops, sound systems, etc.  At the bottom I put my best friend's name and phone number.

The phone calls she received were relentless.  She was clueless as to the prank, just knew that she was receiving phone call after phone call after phone call.  I laughed silently to myself, never letting her know it was me.  She was driven to insanity by the ever-ringing phone. 
The prank was a success. 
I was a genius. 
And from that day forward, I declared myself the April Fool's Master.
The next year, as a freshman in college, I tried similar pranks.  I did the electronic prank to my then-boyfriend.  I hung my roommates' bras and undies from the ceiling.  I mixed up all the pots and pans in the cupboards.  Year two: Success

The insanity continued on the next year.  With a whole new set of roommates and a new boyfriend, I tried variations of the same tricks.  This time I stole all of my roommates' underwear, threw it in a huge plastic sack, and then flew the coup, driving home to Price for the weekend.  I was gone for three days with the bag, and my roommates remained underwearless for the duration of that time.  What was more, they couldn't find anything in the kitchen.  I put the bag of chips in the pots and pan drawer, the silverware in the fridge, the plates in the oven.  Year three of pranking:  Success.

That's me in the middle- trying to scare people with a diguise.  Just one of many, many pranks.

From then on out, the pranks only intensifed. I had found something I was good at, and I thrived with my newfound talent, preparing all year long for the big day. 

The next year, my roommates were now well aware of my April Fools antics. So while I was busy putting flyers all over town with their names on it, they were retaliating. They locked my door, stole my car, they changed the names of contacts in my phone and sent me weird messages from ex boyfriends and new crushes.  I, in turn, retaliated in what I believe to be the best April Fool's prank of all time. Through an internet site called PeterAnswers.com, I made them one hundred percent believe that the apartment was possessed. So scared were they that they about dang near got the bishop of our church to come over and rededicate the apartment to cast out the evil spirits. Some would say I had gone too far. I would say it wasn't quite far enough.

You can tell from this picture that we're a pranking-loving gang, can't you?

Year five of April Fool's I was on a mission in Argentina.  But this didn't stop me from pranking my American companion.  I set all the clocks back two hours, forcing us to get up and go on a run at 4:30 in the morning, instead of the usual 6:30.  Then, we called the Elders and told them we were being emergency transferred for flirting too much.  The Elders freaked.  Year five: Success.

The next year brought me back home to Provo, Utah, and living with my same roommates of old.  April Fools, seemingly innocent and playful, bordered on cruel. We stayed up all night on March 31, popping popcorn to put in plastic bags and tape to people's doors so that when they opened the door the popcorn would go pouring in to their home.  We put peanut butter under people's car doors.  I filled my boyfriend's room with infinte pieces of shredded paper (Hubs is so lucky that he met me in July and not in March), covering every corner of the room.   You don't have to tell me that I was the world's worst girlfriend.  I already know.  I spent the day pranking my roommates, filling plates of paper with water and covering their bedroom floor, locking doors, changing phone numbers.  We pranked all day and all night, and when midnight rolled around and it was April 2, I prided myself on a job well done.  A few friends were mad at me, sure, a few were offended, yes, a few hated me with a passion, but hey, the day was a success!

And then.  My last year of April Fools pranks.  I started off the day like all April Fools, with middle of the night escapades and pranks.  Student teaching that year, I told all my students we had a massive test.  Then I told them my I-pod was missing and one of them had stolen it.  No one would leave the classroom until it was found.  I made them sit in uncomfortable, awkward silence for several minutes before I finally said those magic words, "APRIL FOOLS!"  I made flyers saying that a friend had free conference tickets and posted them all over campus.  I put my friend's name on Craig List with a post that they had several job openings (You gotta know how to take advantage of a recession, people!).  I worked for over an hour trying to capture a duck to put in one of my best friend's room.  I was unwearing in my efforts.

This was also the year that I started forming alliances.  I promised friends to help them prank someone else, while at the same time, scheming a prank on them behind their backs with another friend.  CrazyA had been married that December, and her husband, Cody, enlisted my help to prank my roommate, Mandy to pay her back for last year's April Fools.  Naturally, I hopped right on board.  Cody shredded thousands of newspapers and his dad's work, and we communicated all day long, me unlocking the apartment for him and letting him know when Mandy would be out that day.  When I came home from teaching that day I checked out Mandy's room.  It was a foot high with shreds of newspaper and wood chips.  Even I was impressed with Cody's thoroughness.

Tired from my endless pranking and chasing after a duck, I laid down to take a nap.  I was awoken half an hour later by frantic shrieks, cries, screaming, whatever you call it when a girl is having a major major freak out over the phone. 

"I HATE HIM!  HE PUT IT ALL OVER MY ROOM!  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!  HE WENT TOO FAR!  I AM SERIOUSLY SO MAD!  I AM FREAKING OUT" (right, because we couldn't tell that already.)  I sat silently on my bed, terrified.  Mandy had obviously not been humored by the joke.  She was irate.  Stressed.  Hurt.  On the verge of a complete meltdown. 

I left my room carefully, tiptoeing down the hall to assess the damage.  Mandy, tears streaming down her face, turned to look at me.  "Look at what Cody did!!  This is such a joke!  I am so stressed right now, I have two huge exams and I don't have time to clean up all this crap!  I can't believe it!"  Mandy was in absolute tears, not seeing anything funny in her disastrous bedroom.

"I seriously hate April Fool's so much!" she continued. "People think they are being cute and funny, but they're not! They're just being rude and annoying and making other people miserable." I nodded sympathetically.  She had no idea I was a part of it.  And I intended to keep it that way.

"I'll help you clean it up, Mand, I'm so sorry this happened to you," I tried to veil my guilt.  I spent the rest of that night trying to help Mandy clean up the room.  The vaccuum didn't come close to being able to clean it up, and the little pieces of paper were scattered in every corner of Mandy's room.  We were interrupted only by a few strangers knocking on my door, saying they had been told to come to this address for conference tickets, part of someone else's April Fools joke.  Fools, indeed.

As I helped Mandy clean up shreds of paper from her underwear drawer and DVD cases and homework assignments, it finally dawned on me. 

I had gone too far.  Done too much.  April Fools is not nice.  People don't like mean pranks, and it's not fun when you're the victim.  In that moment, trying to make up for the damage I had done, I vowed to end my April Fooling ways.  You can't just prank to death the people that you love every year.  They won't want to be your friends anymore.

And so, last year, I sat April Fools out almost completely, only playing a mild joke on my students.  This year, with April Fools falling on a Sunday and on Conference, I decided to not do a single joke.  I have put my people-hurting-pranking ways completely away.  From here on out, April Fools is just another day to me.

Well....

At least this year.

You'll never know how I'll be feeling next year.

You've been warned.

(P.S.  Did you win the earring giveaway?)

Come on Down! You are a winner!

Well, well, well, it's about high time that I announce the winners of our Baby Bonnie giveaway.

And the winners are...


EVERYBODY!  Everybody who entered the giveaway gets a pair of earrings from Crazy A!!!!
Aren't you all so stoked?!??!

APRIL FOOLS!

I know I'm awful, I just couldn't resist.

There are only two winners.  Please.  Like Amy could afford to give EVERYONE a pair of earrings.  I mean, she probably could.  Who knows?  I just don't think she would.  That's 64 pairs of earrings, people.

And sorry about the mean April Fools joke.  I just had to.  You see, April Fools and I have a long relationship that goes back years and years.  Don't worry, you'll get to hear all about my juicy April Fools tales in just a few hours.

And now... the REAL winners...............

Paige @ The Last Doughnut who commented: I love the Jet Black Vintage Rhinestone earrings. Beautiful!

and

Clare who commented : I just told everyone that your BFF is naming her baby after you... JK. But I did tweet about your giveaway, tell people that I like birds, and share the fact that I think you are hilarious. I can prove it: https://twitter.com/clarewilk/statuses/184802295043719168

Congratulations chicas!  The first girl to contact me will get to choose the earrings... you're choosing between the sparrows and the owls.  Email me at lifeofbon@gmail.com with your address and your choice of earrings and we will get those sweet little earrings on their way to you.  (If it makes a different, the sparrows dangle about an inch longer than the owls.)