Throwback Thursday: Childhood Friends

Welcome to another round of Throwback Thursdays, folks! For those of you who are joining us for the first time, here's the rundown.

A SUMMER OF THROWBACK THURSDAYS

BLOG STYLE

Here's how it works:

1.  Every Thursday through August we'll be throwing it back here at thelifeofbon.com.  We want to see pictures of course, but we want the stories that go behind those pictures even more!  And because I'm a total control freak, I've even mapped out a nice little schedule for all of us.  I figure the prompts will make it easier to come up with something to write about every week.

TH  6/13  A memory of learning to drive, your first car or the early driving days.

TH  6/20  Elementary school crush

TH  6/27  Throwback birthday

TH  7/4   Throwback fourth of July

TH  7/11  First job

TH  7/18  Moving away from home

TH  7/25  Memory of one or both of your parents from childhood

TH  8/1   Favorite summer vacation

TH  8/8   Childhood friends

TH  8/15  First kiss

TH  8/22  Memory of a high school teacher or high school class

TH  8/29  Back to school memory

The truth is, I'm kind of tired of Throwback Thursdays.  Like, I don't want to do it anymore.  I just want to post what I want to post and not have to stick to some awful schedule!  The worst part about it all is that I made the schedule up so I've got no one to blame but myself.  It's pretty typical of me, to throw myself head first into something and then decide a few weeks later that I'm not that into it.  

Because of that (and because it's 11:32 pm) I am going to keep this kind of short.  Today's topic is childhood friends and the truth is I have been extremely blessed with my friends over the years.  I am an extroverted extroverted extrovert who loves crowds, people and parties.  Get the picture?  I crave social interaction to a fault.  Everywhere I go I try to find friends, because, HELLO, friends are awesome!

This has turned out to be a huge blessing for me because in every stage of life I have found myself with amazing friends.  Especially as I have gotten older, I have come to value my friendships more and more. My college roommates and friends helped me through the most difficult experiences of my life thus far.  I have some of the best, most loyal, most kind friends in this world.  Not to mention fun, outgoing, and crazy.  

When it comes to friendships I believe in karma all the way.  Besides my family, my friends mean more to me than any people in this world.  So I try to treat them as such.  My brother claims friendship is a "matter of convenience"- meaning you are friends with whoever is around you.  I agree only a little bit, I will go to extremely inconvenient lengths for some of my best friends.  I do my best to call friends on birthdays, (even though I hate talking on the phone) attend weddings, plan trips to see them, and support them through the tough times.  One thing that drives me nuts is when people act like a change in marital status or a baby ends a friendship.  It doesn't.  Period.

Anyway, I ranted long enough.  Basically, if you want to have good friends you have to be a good friend.  It's not always easy, and it's not always convenient, but I've learned that it is a blessing beyond measure to have them by your side.

I LOVE YOU AKASHA AMY ASHLEY  BROOKE CHARLOTTE COURTNEY DALLIN HOLLY JANET KRISTEN MANDY SALLY VANESSA and consider you some of the greatest blessings God has ever given me.  (Also I alphabetized that list so that you didn't think I was choosing favorites.)

Bachelorette Gossip + $1,000 giveaway

First things first and the very first thing is that I absolutely have to talk to someone about The Bachelorette!  I watched the finale about 20 hours late and have therefore been avoiding the internet and all social media like the plague.  Now that I have actually watched it in its entirety, I am dying for some girl gossip!

The truth is I didn't like Desiree much at all.  I thought she was a very boring Bachelorette and it drove me crazy how she would say, "Oh, that's so cute," every time a guy would pour our his heart and soul to her.  I was mostly watching this season because it's tradition and because the guys were semi interesting.  I couldn't have cared less what happened to old Des.  And then, all of a sudden, I cared.  Brooks broke her heart and she just looked so pathetic and vulnerable, and wow!  Did I care!  I was ready to lead an army in the name of girls everywhere who have had their hearts broken by cute commitment phobes.  No girl deserves to feel heart broken even if she did just travel the world and make a buttload of money off of a TV show and get a huge budget for clothes alone and get to pick from 25 good loo.... okay maybe I don't feel as bad for her as I thought I did.

The point is, for such a boring season, it certainly delivered at the end.  I am pretty freaking stoked when it all worked out for her and Chris.  "Worked out" being a very loose term because we all know about The Bachelor's track records.  Still, their proposal was incredibly romantic and I might have cried just a little bit but don't tell anyone because that's just ridiculous. 

Also Juan Pablo as the next Bachelor?  I don't think any one is surprised on that one.  They were prepping him so hard core during The Men Tell All, it was pretty obvious what their goal was.  Still, I'm not opposed.  I'm guessing Bachelor's ratings must be at an all time low if they are already announcing the Bachelor for a season that doesn't even start until January.  

Phew.  I'm done.  I feel like my Bachelor need to gossip has been satisfied.  Oh- one last thing- I loved Brooks hair cut and scruff when he came out for the After the Final Rose.  Hubba Hubba!

Now I'm really done.

On to bigger and better things!  Thursday I was driving along and heard a radio announcement for a $1,000 back to school contest, and I thought to myself, "I sure would love to win $1,000 for back to school shopping."  Then I thought, "What if I gave $1,000 for back to school shopping?!?"  I proceeded to email all my favorite bloggers, ones who I know have loving and dedicated readers and who would be on board for a giveaway in four days.  Below are the chicas who said yes, and I couldn't be more excited.  I've got 20 of the best bloggers (and the most spur of the moment, down for anything bloggers!) on the internet today and I am so grateful for their willingness to pull this bad boy together.  In four days!  Here we are!

Enter below through the rafflecopter. Good luck ladies!

The Life of Bon// The Daily Tay// Two Thirds Hazel

Freckled Italian// Because of Jackie// Sophistifunk

Venus Trapped in Mars// The Road Less Traveled// Bella

For Lauren and Lauren// Sami's Shenanigans// Back East Blonde

A Complete Waste of Make Up// Pretty in Pink Megan// Lipgloss and Crayons

Helene in Between// Shannon Hearts// Freckled Fox

Living in Yellow// Crowley Party

Winner will be announced on Wednesday, August 14th.  International readers may enter, but the prize will be sent in the form of a $1,000 visa gift card in American dollars.  ALL ENTRIES WILL BE VERIFIED. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Bonnie, it's your birthday!

Yesterday was Baby Bonnie's first birthday and let me tell you, it was an event to remember.

Baby Bonnie is my best friend, Amy's, child.  We have to call her Baby Bonnie or else we get her confused with me.  For a while there people started calling us big Bonnie and little Bonnie but you better believe I put a stop to that immediately.  I ain't never going to have a "Big" in front of my name, I don't care how old or how fat I get.

I like Baby Bonnie quite a bit.  To start with, she's named after me, so obviously she's awesome. Secondly, she's active as all get out and always running around getting into mischief.  Just like her namesake. Thirdly, she eats everything in sight and makes no apologies.  What a girl!

I'm not sure when it became a thing to throw big shindigs for one year olds, but I'm all about it.  Barbeque, cupcakes and throwing frisbees in the park all in the name of some 12 month old who doesn't have a clue in the world what is going on?  Sure, why not.

It's kind of crazy to watch my best friend be a mom and parent to this busy child who cries for no reason and eats bugs and makes terribly awful smells.  I mean, who can understand a baby?  And yet my bestie spends all day every day not only trying to understand the little one, but feeding her, bathing her, putting her to bed, etc.  All of this service from a girl who it seems like yesterday was running around with me in a bikini and trying to date boys so they would take her out on their boat.  My.  Somehow we grew up.

Amy and Cody are very adoring parents.  It is a little weird to be non parents and watch your friends who also used to be non parents with you suddenly become parents.  And now they're doing all the parent things we all used to agree were totally ridiculous.  Like talk in baby voices and schedule all plans around nap time. Also Amy lets Baby Bonnie scream into Amy's mouth and Cody just looks on and laughs uncontrollably at it all which is very weird to someone like me who has no children.  But I guess as weird as it is, it is also very sweet and assuring to see a baby who has two parents who are so freaking crazy about her.  I get convinced our whole society is going to pot with media now days and drugs on every corner and scammers up the ying yang. But then I see two parents like this, who are so wildly in love with their child, and I think maybe we're all going to end up okay after all.

It reminds me of a journal entry I was reading last week.  I was a junior in high school and madly in love with a boy named Nate.  I thought about him constantly, stalked him at church, doodled his name in my notebook. Junior year I had trigonometry with him and I flirted the best an awkward, never-been-kissed sixteen year old can flirt.  Somehow word got around that he liked me back and I was in absolute heaven.  He had never been kissed either, and I was convinced we were to be each other's first kisses.

The big girl's choice dance was coming up (I promise this tangent has a purpose.  Or does it?) and two months before the dance even arrived I was making big plans to ask Nate.  This would be our moment.  Our dance, our perfect date, the ideal first kiss situation.  But then Nate got asked by another girl.  He went with her.  They kissed.  My pure, virginal, perfect boy was tainted.

I was heartbroken.  Absolutely devastated.  Not only had they kissed, but they were now dating, taking the crush of my lifetime officially off the market.  I wrote this in my journal the night I found out: "Mom and dad could tell something was wrong at dinner so I told them.  Surprisingly, they cheered me up.  Dad said, "He's got a squeaky voice anyways," and then mom said, "and besides that he never speaks up and his nose is crooked!"  I guess my folks can be alright.  Mom reminded me to keep it all in perspective."

I guess I love this story because on the surface it seems so simple and ordinary, but it shows clearly how much my parents loved me. (And still love me.)  How they adored me, just like Amy and Cody adore Baby Bonnie.  And how they were trying to protect me and stop me from crying and keep me happy and all of those things that parents want for their children, whether they're one year old or sixteen years old.

There is a lot I would have liked to tell Baby Bonnie on her birthday, but she don't understand jack crap and she was too busy destroying her birthday cake anyway.  But if I could have, I would have told her that no matter how freaking tough life gets she'll be just fine because she's got two parents who are absolutely, one hundred percent, madly in love with her and they will help her through all the rough times.

Take it from a Bonnie who knows.

Less committed

I was thinking about our marriage the other day and I said to Greg, "We sure have come a long way, haven't we?"  I don't want to brag or anything, but sheesh, Greg and I have put a lot of work in our marriage.  I don't know that we are the two easiest people to get along with.  We both fight hard.  We are both opinionated.  We are both passionate.  Our first year of marriage was bumpy.  Nothing serious, just bump, bump, bump.  We were figuring each other out and learning the impossible truth that we might not be perfect. When we argued, we stayed mad at each other all night, and sometimes even into the next day. We refused to bend on the smallest issues.  We were never flexible with each other's plans or schedules.  Neither of us wanted to be the first one to say sorry.  Sorry meant weakness.

It took a lot of months and a few arguments to figure out how to disagree, how to treat each other when we're grumpy, how to compromise.  Each month of marriage gets easier and happier.  The longer we're married, the more secure I feel in the marriage.  I would never want to go back to those first months of marriage- no matter how exciting and new everything was.  We have worked too hard to go back.

"Remember how brutal our fights were?"  I asked Greg, "We wouldn't talk to each other for several hours?  Sometimes into the next day?"

"Yes..." he said slowly.  "We were much more committed to our fights back then."

Committed.  What a funny word to use, I thought.  I always think of commitments as positive- committed to your work, your family, your responsibilities.

I couldn't help but think of other commitments I have that are dragging me down.  Hurting me.  Heavens knows that my marriage got a lot easier when I started to be less committed to our fights.
I sat down and wrote out a list of some commitments I am going to drop, if you don't mind.  After all, I can only be so committed...

I WANT TO BE:

Less committed to complaining.
Less committed to Instagram.
Less committed to my pride.
Less committed to getting my feelings hurt.
Less committed to Bachelorette.
Less committed to nagging for little things.
Less committed to driving fast.
Less committed to leaving five minutes late for everything.
Less committed to trying to control everything.
Less committed to making sure everyone knows how hard I work.
Less committed to trying to make other people's decisions for them.
Less committed to worrying about the future.

What are you going to be less committed to?  Come on, let's all throw away our commitments together!

Little of this, little of that.

It's Saturday and that means I get to just write.

No topic, no sponsor, nothing I absolutely have to include, just write.

I was pretty overwhelmed by the comments I received on yesterday's post.  The amount of readers who sent love and who shared similar stories was humbling.  I kind of hated reading all of your awful stories of how you had been swindled in your own way, but I also kind of loved it.  Like we were joining together to share our stories of woe and hopefully heal somehow in the telling of it.  I couldn't help but think yesterday as I read over the comments that this is what blogging is all about.  About sharing stories and experiences, good or bad, and feeling support.  So thank you.

Last night Greg and I watched Lars and the Real Girl.  Have you seen it?  It's fascinating. Ryan Gosling is in it so that alone is a reason to watch it tonight.  The story is about a very socially awkward man who gets a life sized doll and pretends it is his girlfriend.  Mostly the boy is lonely and sad and wants to give and receive love.  He's also very delusional.  The acting is terrific and the flick is clean and terribly interesting.  So if you're sitting around with nothing to do tonight...  It's on Netflix.

You didn't know this was going to be a movie review, did you?  Neither did I.

What's the deal with GFC?  Does anyone use it anymore to look at blogs?  Back in the day that was all I used- I never was a google reader fan.  I switched over to Bloglovin about a year ago but I can't figure out if it's even relevant to have GFC anymore.  Your thoughts?

I'm starting to feel excited about blogging again.  For several weeks there I wasn't excited about it anymore.  It had just become a chore.  I can't figure out if it was a summer slump or overscheduling the blog or what, but I wasn't excited about it anymore.  And now I am.

Yesterday I went to the new rec center in town with two of my best friends.  Crazy A lives a few miles away so I see her all the time, but Akasha lives in California and I only get to see her once or twice a year.  She's pretty much the sweetest most mellow person in the world even though she has a name that makes her sound like a strong sassy black woman.  But she's not.  She's a skinny white nice woman.

Akasha, me, Amy.
You can find my suit here.  You can find Amy's suit here.  Akasha has no idea where she got her swimsuit because she has three kids under five and that's not the most important thing to her nowadays.  As it should be.

Seven years ago (Wow, seven?!?) the three of us lived in an apartment together.  We lived together only for the summer, somehow the stars aligned.  None of us were taking classes and we all three worked at restaurants.  Our schedules went like this: wake up at noon.  Go to pool until 3:30.  Go to work at 4:00.  Come home from work at 10:30.  Hang out with friends until 4 am.  Repeat.  It was wild.  We all had dumb boyfriends who we eventually figured out were nowhere close to cool enough to marry, but it was spending the summer with each other that was so magical.

Oh, we also adopted a cat that summer.  We were definitely not supposed to have her in our apartment.  She whined all night and we kind of hated her.  We taped tape to her paws and watch her freak out.  I am not proud of this now.  One day I was packing to go camping and left the front door open while I was loading my stuff.  We never saw that cat again.  R.I.P. Delilah

As you can see we've really grown up and matured alot since then...

July 2006

July 2013

For your weekend reading:
+ One of my favorite posts to write, a satire on how to catch a husband.
+ I wrote this post a year ago analyzing the pros and cons of blogging.  I still don't have definite answers.
+ A post in which I take five children out rafting on the lake during a thunderstorm.
+ My theories on Bachelorette from one year ago.
+ Loved this post from Motley Mama on girl code.  Do you agree?

We got scammed, we got scammed, we got scammed scammed scammed.

I got scammed out of $1,100.  That is money I worked my butt off for and it is money I will never see again.  It happened in mid June and I wanted to write about it.  I wanted to let my blog feel how devastated I was, to share with strangers my story, to let my fingers heal the experience through the writing of it.

But I couldn't.  I don't know why, but I can't write well when I am highly emotional.  I have to be in a calm state of mind.  To some extent I have to detach myself from the experience to be able to write about it.  The first time I mentioned my dad's death on this blog was two years after he died.  It took me that long to be emotionally ready to write about it.

That is why I haven't written yet about how I got scammed.  I decided to give it a couple weeks before I was ready.  Then a couple more.  And maybe one more.

Now I feel ready.  Mostly I need some kind of closure on the experience- to tell it in its fullest and then move on forever from the experience.

There are two versions of this story and I'm not sure which one you want to hear so I will tell them both to you.

Version #1:  The short version-

I got scammed out of $1,100

Version #2: The long version-

In March, Greg and I decided to go to Hawaii with Greg's family.  His brother and wife would be moving out of state and it seemed like a good opportunity to gather us all together for some quality bonding time before they bailed on us.  I didn't want to get ripped off on some crappy hotel in Waikiki, and since I had lived in Hawaii before I figured I would take it upon myself to find us a place to stay.

There were three couples and no kids-  a condo would be perfect.  I googled "rent condo on Oahu" and went to some classic safe "rent a condo" sites like airbnb and homeaway.

I clicked on this link and thought the place looked nice- especially for $1,500 for the week.  That would only be about $500 a couple.  Score!

Looks, great, right?

So I pushed the little tab on airbnb.com that says "Contact me" to send a message to the owner.  I stated I was very interested, would like to know more, yada, yada, yada.

The next day I got an email in my personal inbox.  The owner stated the condo was available the week we were looking at but another family was also looking at it.  She also told me we would get a 30% discount since it was during the "off season" making the total $1,100.

"Freak, guys, I'm a genius!" I thought.  "I'm so good at this people should pay me to do it for them!  Less than $400 a couple to stay the week- yes I am amazing and people are lucky to know me!"  You know, normal stuff you think when you find a condo at a great deal.

I emailed back, said we would take it, and she said she would send us over a contract.  Her email looked super legit.  Just so you believe me how legit it was I'm going to copy and paste some of the details.

We have a special offer. The breakdown would be as follows:

$ 1,560.00 ( 7 nights )
$ 0.00 (Departure Cleaning Fee)
------------
$ 1,560.00 +
- 30% (Discount for special offer only)
------------
$ 1,092.00 (TOTAL/Tax included)

Cancellation 100% refundable 15 Days prior to arrival.

Rate is inclusive of:
- Hawaii tax
- Airport transfers, round trip (one time from and one time to airport)
- Wireless internet access (unlimited internet usage)
- Free Laundry service
- Daily housekeeping
- Car - Ford Galaxy (excludes petrol cost)

For this special offer payment of $ 1,092.00 must be completed within 7days (to secure
this booking).

If you would like to proceed I will just need your home address for the contract and I
will forward as e-mail attachment.

Airport Transfers:
Through popular demand we are offering Round trip airport transfers by our private driver
to pick-you up at the airport upon your arrival (he will be outside with a
sign that has your name on it) then check you in and bring up your bags and groceries. Upon your agreed
departure time, he will return to the villa, load up all your suitcases and bring you back
to the airport for your departure flight.

Check in & check out:
Check in time is 3 pm and check out 11 am (there is a flexibility  in case your plane
leaves or arrives at different times) to give the cleaning person a chance to properly
prepare the villa for my next guest.

Please let me know if you have any questions and how I can further assist you.

We look forward to being of service to you.

Kind regards,

Melissa Randy
Owner/Manager

She sent us over the contract with all the details.  I've never signed a contract for staying anywhere for a week, but I figured, whatevs.  Can't hurt.  The contract gave us all of her bank account info and stated that to reserve the condo we needed to wire the money over.

I realize now that this should have alerted me.  But I was innocent and naive and too trusting.  Anytime I've ever booked a place to stay, a flight, bought anything online I've always paid for a credit card or paypal so I should have known this was off.  I guess I just figured that since it was independently done and not by a big business they required the money just be sent directly over.

So that week I headed on down to Chase, my bank, and wired the money on over.  Not just my money, but my mother in law's money and my sister in law's money.  I took it all and sent it over and even paid the $40 fee to wire money internationally.

Yep.  She was having me send the money internationally.  Obviously this should have been my red flad number two.  Why was I sending the money to London?  But everything still seemed super legit.  The owner had signed a contract, there was a number to contact her, it was through airnbnb, a safe and trusted site.  I was fine.

So I sent that money on over, Greg at my side when we did it.  We smiled thinking about where that money was going- a condo for a week in Hawaii!  We were so lucky.

And that was it.  The money was sent in March along with the contract and we were good to go.

Three months later, Greg and I were getting ready to head out to Hawaii.  It was a Wednesday.  We were going to my cabin for a family reunion from Thursday to Saturday and then Saturday we were to drive to Boise (6 hour drive) where we would catch our flight to Hawaii on Sunday morning.  Who doesn't love summer and vacations and road trips and cabins?  Everything was great!

Tuesday night I sent an email to Melissa with our flight plans and asking if there was anything else we needed to take care of before we got there.

Wednesday morning I sat in my classroom at my new school.  I tried to be super productive and get everything taken care of before we left town for 10 days.  I organized books, tried to figure out the layout of my new classroom, and also looked for a place of silence for a few hours so I could answer emails, schedule blog posts, etc.

Ping.  From the corner of my eye I saw that I had gotten a new email.  I clicked over, my mind always happy for a distraction, to read this:

Hello,

I'm the manager of the resort.
Melissa is not available for the moment.

We want to inform you that the resort suffered a fire and is destroyed 70%.

The persons that was there, forgot something deteriorated plugged in and caused the fire.

I am sorry to announce you that the booking will be canceled and the money will come back in your account + the money that you paid for the fly tickets.

Please reply with the sum that you pay for the fly ticket and your bank account details so we can give you all your money back.


Thank you for your understanding.
Frank

Now I might have been stupid enough to wire money internationally to book a condo, but I was smart enough to realize that there was something majorly wrong with this email.  I emailed back right away, demanding to know why we were not alerted of this sooner, but in the back of my head I knew the money was gone, knew we were going to Hawaii in three days and had no place to stay, and knew I had been totally scammed.

I called Greg right away.  He thought I was playing a prank on him.  Because that sort of crazy, dramatic stuff doesn't happen in real life, right?

At that point I knew I wasn't going to get a thing done in my classroom, so I grabbed my stuff and headed home.  I didn't cry on the way home, just focused and concentrated on finding solutions.  I'd fix this. My mom was at the cabin already where she couldn't get service. I didn't feel like we could tell Greg's family yet because we had just totally lost all of their money. I was desperate for a responsible adult to talk to, someone to talk to me rationally, to calm me down, someone older and wiser who would know what to do in this situation.

I called my brother.  No answer.  I called my lawyer friend in Arizona.  No answer.  I tried my mom even though I knew she wouldn't answer.  A desperate attempt.

Once I got home, it took both Greg and I several minutes to start thinking rationally and calmly.  Panic mode sets in and it's hard to get your brain to act, you know?  I had emailed back "Melissa" about three times and received no response.  I knew I never would.  I called airbnb to report the scam and to see what they could do. They basically replied that they could do absolutely nothing as I was not a registered user of their site. They had no record of any of my correspondence with "Melissa".  Yes, because she emailed me at my personal email I told them.  We went in circles for close to an hour with no solution.  When it came down to it, the guy basically told me that they couldn't help me because everything was done off the site. They didn't even have a record of my first initial attempt to contact her within the site.  As far as they know I could be making the whole thing up so they couldn't help me.  I understand that if I don't have an account with them there isn't they can do to help me, but the fact of the matter is a scammer successfully used their site and information I gave on that site to get my money.  They didn't seem too concerned.  (I talked to them again this week- they won't even take the page down as they continue to claim it's legit...)

Next I called Chase to see if they could help me out.  I had transferred the money from my Chase account, after all.  (Looking back and realizing what happened, I am a little frustrated that the Chase banker helping me to transfer the money didn't warn me at all.  I was sending $1,100 internationally to reserve a week at a condo?  Shouldn't bankers of all people know that that is suspicious activity?)  Chase basically washed their hands of the matter, saying the money had been gone for months and there was nothing they could do.

"Can't you figure out whose bank account it went into and demand the money back?"
"No, ma'am.  Their bank will protect them."
"You didn't protect me!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry.  We can't access someone else's account who doesn't bank with us.  Besides the account has probably been closed for months by now."
"So you're saying there's nothing you can do about it?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am."

I don't blame Chase, I suppose I am just confused.  Anyone I have told this story to with two bits of sense has replied, "Why did you transfer money directly?  Never do that!  Pay with a credit card or something that will protect you.  NEVER TRANSFER MONEY DIRECTLY FROM YOUR ACCOUNT!"  So why wouldn't a Chase employee have told me...?

I called the resort where the condo was supposedly located to ask if there had been a fire lately. Naturally, they said no.

I called the number on the contract for "Melissa."  I called internationally, not caring the extra fees, the extra numbers to dial.

Dead end. Dead end. Dead end.

And just like that, the truth dropped heavily into my lap.  In the back of my brain I had known for hours what had happened, but now my heart accepted it too.  Accepted that I would more than likely never see that money again, that I had been taken advantage of, that I had willingly given my money to a crook.  I buried my head in the bed and burst into tears.  I had been stoic up unto this point- not a tear, not a crack.  Now the walls came down and I let the emotions and the stress and the feeling of utter stupidity and failure wash over me completely.

"I'm so sorry, Greg.  I'm so so so sorry," I cried into the pillow. "I lost our money.  I lost our family's money."  He hugged me and put my hair behind my ear and told me that we would be fine.  But I couldn't help it.  I felt so defeated, so stupid, so naive. I felt like an idiot as I thought back to this post where I made fun of people who fall for scams. I was embarrassed to have lost his family's money, to have allowed them to put their trust in me when I clearly didn't know what I was doing.

I pulled myself together enough to face the immediate future.  We were leaving to Hawaii in three days and had no place to stay.  We surfed the web, found a couple of expensive rooms in Waikiki, paid with a credit card, and tried not to wince as we looked at the extra thousand plus dollars being added to our monthly credit statement.  It ain't no thing, right?

With that done we were free to leave the computers and the phones and get away from the madness for a minute.  We stepped out of the house and into the blazing hot afternoon, as if the heat were mocking our pain.  We drove to Maverick and bought a soda and drove aimlessly around town.  I don't know why the house felt so oppressive, so heavy, but we couldn't stay there.  We had nowhere else to go so we drove.

More than anything else I felt vulnerable.  Taken advantage of.  Scared.

"It's not a tragedy," Greg said as we drove.  "It's just money.  Money comes and goes and you can always make more money.  But we have the most important things in life that can't be replaced.  We have a happy marriage.  We have our health.  We have our families.  It's just money."

Yep.  Just money.

Still, it might make me feel a little better if you could all tell me all the money you've blown on scams and schemes.  Even if you haven't, maybe you could just make something up.

Throwback Thursday Week 8: Favorite Summer Vacation

Welcome to another round of Throwback Thursdays, folks! For those of you who are joining us for the first time, here's the rundown.

A SUMMER OF THROWBACK THURSDAYS

BLOG STYLE

Here's how it works:

1.  Every Thursday through August we'll be throwing it back here at thelifeofbon.com.  We want to see pictures of course, but we want the stories that go behind those pictures even more!  And because I'm a total control freak, I've even mapped out a nice little schedule for all of us.  I figure the prompts will make it easier to come up with something to write about every week.

TH  6/13  A memory of learning to drive, your first car or the early driving days.

TH  6/20  Elementary school crush

TH  6/27  Throwback birthday

TH  7/4   Throwback fourth of July

TH  7/11  First job

TH  7/18  Moving away from home

TH  7/25  Memory of one or both of your parents from childhood

TH  8/1   Favorite summer vacation

TH  8/8   Childhood friends

TH  8/15  First kiss

TH  8/22  Memory of a high school teacher or high school class

TH  8/29  Back to school memory

In 2001, my family went on a cruise.

It was all of my mom's side of the family that was going- cousins, aunts, grandparents, etc.  My dad decided to stay home.  My dad's a quiet country boy at heart- I just don't know that he could quite tackle the luxurious food, the dazzling gowns, and all my loud, big extended family.  But my mom was determined to go, and so we did!

I don't know that it would have mattered much to me if my dad was there or not because I hung out with my cousin besties, Cami and Marissa, all day and all night.  We shared a table in the dining room together, (I'll never forget the waiter asking my ten year old cousin, Marianne, what kind of dressing she wanted on her salad.  Her reply: "Salad dressing."),  we stalked cute boys on the boat together, we lay out at the pool together. (Sidenote- did you know that I'm using the correct form of "lay" there?  I know it sounds so weird but the past tense of lie (to rest) is lay.  You just got English teachered.)

I remember there being a little bit of "cousin drama" when we were there, but when I read my journal from the trip it seemed we were fighting like bandits the whole time.  I'm not sure if this was because we really were fighting that much or if that was what my mind decided to focus on. 

For example:

"The only problem so far with the cruise is that Cami and Riss don't get along very well, so they are always at it.  It drives me nuts.  They fight all the time and often I get stuck in the middle.  It sucks."

"After dinner Cami wanted to go to a "Hoe down".  Me and Riss went with her and it was so lame.  Hardly anybody was there and when we said we wanted to leave Cami got really mad.  Rissa left anyway but I stayed.  It was pretty dumb but I acted like it was fun.  We line danced and that part was okay, but I really wasn't enjoying myself that much."

"Friday night me, Riss and Cami sort of got in an argument over going to a dance and I was so frustrated that I just went back to our room and played cards with the little girls."

"All in all the cruise was a blast.  Even though Riss and Cami fought a lot, they did get along sometimes and I had a lot fun with them.  However, I am excited to go home."

HA!  I love the "However, I am excited to go home."  So formal!  Also, sorry Riss and Cami if I threw you under the bus on this post.  We're all grown up and past that petty teenage stuff, right?

The other hilarious thing is I said like five times in my journal how much I missed my high school crush, Kevin.  Which is pathetic because Kevin never talked to me.

Moral of the story:  don't take teenagers on nice vacations.

I got a little carried away cutting this picture out.  Sorry, Katie.

JULY BOOK CLUB: THE HELP

Welcome to July's book club!  I'm a tricky little sucker having the July book club day on the last day of the month, aren't I?  That's how I roll!  (Really book club is on the last Wednesday of the month, but, you know...)

While I'm thinking about it, is there anyone out there who has read all five books for our book club so far?  If so, let me know!  I'll send you a cookie!  Or something.

And also while I'm thinking about it, goodreads came with their list of most abandoned books and why we stop reading them.  It's fascinating.

On to the book club!  Here's our schedule so far-

February:  Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
March:  The Fault in our Stars by John Green
April:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
May:  Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
June:  Seriously... I'm Kidding by Ellen Degeneres
July:  The Help by Kathryn Stockett
August: Life of Pi by Yann Martel
September: Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
October:  Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
November: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
December:  We Need to Talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Today we will be discussing...

I love love love love this book.  I would list it on my top 3 books of books that I read in the past decade and my top ten books of all time.  It really is amazing.  Here's why:

PLOT:  The plot keeps you guessing and builds enough that you never lose interest.  I know a book is really good if I "sprint" at the finish line, meaning I'm around 100 pages away from finishing it and I just finish it all in one night because I just can't wait!  The first time I read The Help I stayed up until 4 am finishing it.  That very rarely happens for me- it takes a pretty killer plot and a steady, quick pace to manage that.

I tried for a long time to figure out how Stockett maintains such a perfect pace throughout the book, and I have concluded that she has just the right amount of things going on. She nails it on the sub plots and the sub sub plots. And the most beautiful thing is that everything ties in at the end, it's not just a bunch of random things happening to people, they all come together.  I love the suspense that comes around Skeeter trying to do the interviews for her book, the curiosity that comes from Celia and Minnie's situation, the nervousness I feel for all the maids helping out on the book, the excitement I feel for Skeeter's first real boyfriend, the disgust I feel for Hilly and Elizabeth, the heartache I feel for Skeeter's mom...

Sidenote:  The first time I read this book I was furious that Skeeter didn't end up with Stuart.  Why couldn't Skeeter have been happy with her man?   I was single at the time and that may have had something to do with my intense desire for her to end up with someone. Re-reading the book I was surprised by how glad I was that Skeeter didn't end up with Stuart.  How much stronger I felt she was without him, how proud I was that she stood up for what was important to her, that she didn't give up her dreams and settle for some man who wasn't a good fit at all.

VOICE:  I feel like I could read this book every couple of years and be totally entertained.  The reason why is because Stockett uses such incredible voice with her characters.  They come to life, you feel like you know the characters, it's like meeting up with an old friend.  I love that the book is told from three different perspectives, and each character has her own unique voice.  My favorite character is Minnie, just because she's such a tough cookie and little spitfire.  She says things like "She's wearing a tight red sweater and a red skirt and enough makeup to scare a hooker," and  "Even though she has zero kids and nothing to do all day, she is the laziest woman I've ever seen.  Including my sister Doreena who never lifted a royal finger growing up because she had the heart defect that we later found out was a fly on the X-ray machine."  I rarely laugh out loud with a book, but these two lines had be giggling in bed.  No movie can duplicate that powerful voice in writing.

CHARACTERS:  The characters are strong, but not too strong.  You know?  Skeeter is smart and brave, but she says the wrong thing all the time and she's tall and ugly.  Minnie is loyal and tenacious, but she's sassy and runs her mouth too much.  Even the "villians" have redeeming qualities, which I loved.  I hate it when the antagonist is all bad, it makes for such a weak and flat character.  Hilly, easily the most hated character in the book, absolutely adores her children and was Skeeter's only friend in high school.  This is something I didn't appreciate from the movie version- they made the good guys too good and the bad guys too bad.  The truth is we all have bad and good in us, it's just what we choose to act on the most that makes us who we are.  I guess I just like my characters a little more complex and a little more rounded and Stockett definitely delivers on that.

EMOTIONAL POWER/ OVERALL MESSAGE:  It has been interesting to read this book as the Treyvon Martin case has been going on.  This line struck me hard when I was reading:  "There is so much you don't know about a person.  Wasn't that the point of the book [that Skeeter writes]?  For women to realize, We are just two people.  Not that much separates us.  Not nearly as much as I'd thought."  I feel like that's the overall message of the book and that's why it is told from the viewpoint of three very different women.  They are different in terms of wealth, race, opportunity, family, attitude, but the point is by the end of the book you realize they're not that different at all.

The other scene from the book that left me in tears is the scene after Johnny and Celia find out that Celia won't ever be able to carry a baby.  Minnie, six months pregnant with a bunch of kids already at home, comes in the kitchen and sees her white bosses crying.  Johnny thanks her for "saving Celia's life" and then Minnie states,  "So I lean my hand on the sideboard because the baby's getting heavy on me.  And I wonder how it is that I have so much when she doesn't have any.  He's crying.  She's crying.  We are three fools in the dining room crying."  It's the first time we really see Minnie's vulnerabilities and we realize how much she loves Celia, in spite of how she tries not to, in spite of the different colors of their skin.  That scene is so beautiful- a white couple and a black woman sitting down at the table and crying together over shared heartache.

ON THE MOVIE V. BOOK I have a friend who every time I suggest a book to him he says, "Oh, I already saw that movie."  It drives me crazy that people will see a movie and then never read the book upon which it was based.  Now, I'll be the first to admit that the film adaptation for The Help is terrific- I loved the movie.  But still.  It left out so much in the book. It is impossible for a movie to fully capture the beauty of the text. The voice, the pulse, the writing.  I never know if I am happy that my favorite book is being made into a movie- on one end I'm happy that more people will be familiar with the story, but on the other end I'm sad that those people will now never push themselves to read the story in its complete beauty.  I suppose this is my urging to you... if you have seen this movie but never read the book, it is worth it still to read the book. It is one of the best books written in the past decade, and you will fall completely in love with the story and the characters..

I promise.

Now.  Link up your review!  And you can leave a comment if you've seen the movie but not read the book, I won't mind :)