I was thinking about our marriage the other day and I said to Greg, "We sure have come a long way, haven't we?" I don't want to brag or anything, but sheesh, Greg and I have put a lot of work in our marriage. I don't know that we are the two easiest people to get along with. We both fight hard. We are both opinionated. We are both passionate. Our first year of marriage was bumpy. Nothing serious, just bump, bump, bump. We were figuring each other out and learning the impossible truth that we might not be perfect. When we argued, we stayed mad at each other all night, and sometimes even into the next day. We refused to bend on the smallest issues. We were never flexible with each other's plans or schedules. Neither of us wanted to be the first one to say sorry. Sorry meant weakness.
It took a lot of months and a few arguments to figure out how to disagree, how to treat each other when we're grumpy, how to compromise. Each month of marriage gets easier and happier. The longer we're married, the more secure I feel in the marriage. I would never want to go back to those first months of marriage- no matter how exciting and new everything was. We have worked too hard to go back.
"Remember how brutal our fights were?" I asked Greg, "We wouldn't talk to each other for several hours? Sometimes into the next day?"
"Yes..." he said slowly. "We were much more committed to our fights back then."
Committed. What a funny word to use, I thought. I always think of commitments as positive- committed to your work, your family, your responsibilities.
I couldn't help but think of other commitments I have that are dragging me down. Hurting me. Heavens knows that my marriage got a lot easier when I started to be less committed to our fights.
I sat down and wrote out a list of some commitments I am going to drop, if you don't mind. After all, I can only be so committed...
I WANT TO BE:
Less committed to complaining.
Less committed to Instagram.
Less committed to my pride.
Less committed to getting my feelings hurt.
Less committed to nagging for little things.
Less committed to driving fast.
Less committed to leaving five minutes late for everything.
Less committed to trying to control everything.
Less committed to making sure everyone knows how hard I work.
Less committed to trying to make other people's decisions for them.
Less committed to worrying about the future.
What are you going to be less committed to? Come on, let's all throw away our commitments together!