The Life of Bon: BYU students, a Scrooge, and a caramel apple

Monday, December 05, 2011

BYU students, a Scrooge, and a caramel apple

Tonight I stopped on my way home at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.  Have you ever gotten a caramel apple from there?  I wouldn't recommend it.  Because if you get one caramel apple there you will be a slave for the rest of your life and always be forced to buy $6 apples against your will because you simply cannot resist them.  FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  But if you do go, get the caramel apple pie apple.  It is to die for.  Tell them Bon Bon sent you and you will get... jack crap.  Got you there didn't I?  One day I will be famous enough to demand chocolate stores to give discounts to everybody to see, but that day is not yet here.

ANYWAY...both Hubs and I are completely addicted to these apple pie apples, and unfortunately neither of us make enough money to support a $6 apple addiction, so as you can imagine it has become quite the conundrum for us.  I do everything I can to avoid Riverwoods mall for the exact reason that I know I will be sucked in to the store and forced to give away my life savings for a few apples.

Tonight was a night where I just couldn't resist.  I was dead tired and after a million Christmas errands (more details on those tomorrow) all I wanted was a little innocent apple to comfort me at the end of my day.  So I pulled on over, promised myself it would be no longer than three minutes, (it was already 7:30 and I hadn't been home since 6:00 am) and ran on in to the chocolate store.

Death.  The small chocolate factory was filled to the brim with people.  Not just people.  Students.  Not just students.  BYU students.  Not just BYU students.  BYU FHE students.  And I had my second BYU student experience in three days.  That is two experiences too many for a three day span.

You see, I wasn't in nearly as good a mood as I was on Saturday night.  I wasn't flaunting bright red lipstick, on a hot date with Hubs after a relaxing day off.  Instead, I was at the end of errands on an endless Monday and I hadn't seen Hubs since I kissed him goodbye at 6:00 am when he rolled over in the bed and mumbled something that sounded like "Princess Ariel."  I don't ask questions when it's that early.

So no, I was not really in the mood for hordes of BYU students.  The line was at least 12 people long and there were 33 people all together in the shop.  Yes, I counted.  I watched intently the people around me.  It didn't take long for me to figure out that most of these people weren't even there to buy chocolate, but mostly to get out of the cold, and to get free samples.  Unlucky for them, the girls working had discovered their aim, and had hid all the free samples behind the counter.

I stared at the students with disdain as they bumped shoulders with me.  "Oh my gosh, are you sure there are free samples?  I LOVE CHOCOLATE!" I heard a girl scream.  They laughed, they giggled, they flirted with each other, the whole loud obnoxious group of them.

Open. Close. Open. Close.  Students entered.  Students left.  Cold entered.  Cold stayed.

"Doth my nose deceive me, or is this really a store filled with the sweet aroma of chocolate?"  I turned around to see another Zoobie zealously entering the store.  And I shot that person a look of death.  Annoying comments like that are only funny when I'm in a good mood.  When I'm in a bad mood, they make me want to do things to them so bad it'd make you puke if I told you. (Kidding, mom!)

"Excuse me, we are in front of you," I turned around to see a pimply man/boy, "We were here before you, you slipped in front of us." 
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know," I replied.  Because I really didn't. 
He and six other people got in front of me.
I think it was a trick.
Ten minutes and sixty door closings and openings later, it was time for the group in front of me to order.  "What can I get for you?" said the girl behind the counter.
"Let's see... does anyone know what they want?" the boy asked his group of six.  They all shook their heads.
I felt like jumping in front of them in line and screaming, "I do!  I know what I want!  I want a caramel apple pie apple and then I want to get the hell out of this store!"
But I didn't say that, mom.  Because I'm a good girl.
Instead I waited impatiently and cursed them in my head.

The group ordered six small hot chocolates.  I continued to spy on them because when I am alone in line, it happens to be the thing I do best.

"Oh, look!  I think she is cutting up an apple in the back for a free sample!  I want a free sample of an apple so bad!"  One of the girls cried excitedly.  The lady in the back cut the apple in the bag and gave it to a paying customer, dashing the young girl's hopes to shreds.  This group was really not coping well with the lack of free samples.

Do you find it amusing that I, the queen of free, the queen of coupons, and the queen of discounts was annoyed at a couple of kids wanting something for free?  I was.  I was very annoyed.  I wanted to scream, "Just buy a dang apple!  They are really quite affordable!  Only six dollars for one apple!"

FINALLY.  It was my turn.  "One caramel apple pie apple." I said confidently and hurriedly. 
"Okay, would you like that... Whoa whoa whoa!  What are you guys doing?"  The girl at the counter was distracted by something going on in front of me.  I turned to see the six in the group reaching over the counter and grabbing cut up apples.
"Uh...we're just grabbing samples..."
"You can't just grab stuff on our side of the counter!"
"Oh... we thought they were free..."
"They're not ready to be passed out yet!"  The girl was at her wits end.

And that's when I realized.  I had been wrong on Saturday when I looked at the BYU students with envy at their frivolous and seemingly responsibility-less lives.
Sometimes it's good to grow up.

Is it worth the $6 and the twenty minute wait in line?
No it's not.
But I'm a slave.
And slaves don't get to choose if they buy it or not.