The Life of Bon: The KKK- Kobe, Kris, and the Kardashians

Saturday, December 31, 2011

The KKK- Kobe, Kris, and the Kardashians

It is a sick, sick world that we live in.

It's Christmastime, and this year hand in hand with Christmas came the return of the NBA.

Now many of you will chide me for even writing this post, saying, but Bon, you said you broke up with the Jazz.  You said you are not a fan of the NBA anymore, remember?

Let me just tell you that I am humbly eating my words right now.  Like any weak girlfriend, unable to stand on her own, I am back with my abusive basketball boyfriend.  Yes, he treats me like s$%*, yes, I put way more into the relationship than he does, and yes, I am miserable with him, but, hey, he came crawling back and I just couldn't say no. 

You happy now?

I've watched my fair share of NBA games over this Christmas break.  I certainly watched the Dallas opener on Christmas day, and saw bits of pieces of the Bulls-Lakers opener.  Of course I watched the opening Jazz games, and had my heart broken as they experienced multiple embarrassing blowouts.

But I stayed strong, let it all roll off my back, and didn't think much about it. 

Until yesterday.  I was enjoying a meal at Joe Vera's with Hubs and Hubs' parents.  I was just hunkering down on my Pete's steak and thinking that all is right in the world when my father-in-law, affectionately known as Garedog, remarked casually, "They sure booed that old Kris Humpries in his opening game...  Why do they hate him anyway?  Because he married that Kardashian?"  All parties looked at me, expecting me to be able to spit off all Kardashian-knowledge at a moment's notice.

I tried to come up with a reason.  "Well, he doesn't look too good on TV... he's kind of a jerk..."  That didn't seem to please them much.  I tried again.  "He's arrogant.  Immature."  They still weren't satisfied.  I thought long and hard of what I could say to answer this question.  Yes, I am the Kardashian expert, and believe you me, I racked my brain thoroughly of all my Kardashian memories,  but there just wasn't a suitable answer for why the crowds would hate Humprhies so much to be booing him.


The subject was changed, the bill was paid, and hours later the chips and salsa were digested.

But my mind kept jumping back to what Garedog had told me.  The crowd had booed Humphries for really no reason at all.  And so, like any girl continuously plagued by a juicy piece of gossip, I took to the internet to find out the facts for myself.

Turns out the old man was right.  Not only was Humpries booed every time he touched the ball, but he was booed before, after, and during the entire game.  According to the Huffington Post, "They greeted Humphries with loud jeers during the introductions of the starting lineups, then got on his case whenever he touched the ball. The booing reached a crescendo when Humphries was about to attempt a free throw in the first quarter, then turned to cheers when his shot clanged off the front of the rim. Fans also applauded and shouted approval when Humphries was whistled for fouls."

AND... according to a separate article by Tyler Huey (like we have any idea who he is, but hey, I don't want to get sued here, people) Humprhies is the most disliked player in the NBA.  MOST DISLIKED.

The article said: "Humphries received 50 percent of the dislike votes, while LeBron James had 48 percent. Kobe Bryant, Tony Parker, Metta World Peace, Chris Bosh, Carmelo Anthony, Paul Pierce, Dwyane Wade and Lamar Odom rounded out the top 10."
I sat in utter bafflement after I read that.  Humprhies had 50% of the vote, while Kobe had less than 2%?

Everybody should know by now that Kobe is getting a divorce.  The wife was finally fed up with his cheating ways.  I think we all remember the rape case in 2003.  Somehow the Mrs. stuck with him through the whole ordeal, but the infidelity has happened multiple times over the years with multiple women, and the final blow came this month.  Now she and her two young kids are done done done. 

 But you want to hear the craziest part?  Half of the world says Humpries is the most disliked player, not Kobe.  And when Kobe Bryant came running out onto the floor for NBA opening day, do you want to know who was booing him?  Not a soul.  When he touched the ball, shot free throws, and had fouls called on him, who hissed and screamed?  No one.  In fact, there were cheers.  Awe.  Love.  Even reverence.  But no boos.  No no no no no no.  Instead, Kris Humphries got the boos.  For being a jerk on TV, for being immature, for not surviving a marriage to a beautiful woman.  Those were his big crimes.

Kobe's crimes- infidelity, lying, deceit, disappointing his two daughters, are much less than this, don't you know?  Certainly not boo-worthy in our world.  Because there is a key difference in Kris and Kobe.  Kobe's good at basketball.  Really good.  Kris is not. And if you're good at basketball it doesn't much matter if you're faithful to your wife.  Because basketball and fame and money is what matters around this joint.  Not fidelity.  Not trust.  Not being a good daddy.

And that's what's wrong with our world.  That we condone behavior such as this because we want to be entertained by a superstar basketball player.  That we boo Kris Humphries for no reason other than he is annoying, but that we don't boo a cheater and a liar.

If I see Kris play this season, I probably won't cheer, but I probably won't boo either.  Most likely I'll just watch him apathetically.

But when I watch Kobe play, I can promise you this much.

I'll be booing every time.


  1. It was adultery, not rape.

  2. It was statutory rape. Also, I have a great idea. How about we all boo Kim Kardashian every time we see her? She's dumb as a brick, a major drama queen, isn't remotely attractive without makeup on, and sounds like a friggin idiot with the way she talks. I don't care about Kris Humphries, but I'd WAY rather watch him on TV than her.