Thursday, April 10, 2014

I see you.



Tonight I went to the temple.

Mormon temples are different than Mormon churches.  Anyone in the world can attend a church- we have church services every Sunday.  Throughout the week we have a myriad of other activities at the church- crafts, basketball, dinners, you name it.  But the temples are only for people who are ready to make serious commitments to God.  There we make promises to God and in returned are promised awesome blessings.  Church is only on Sunday, but you can go to the temple any day of the week.  (Actually, they're closed on Sunday.  For church.  Go figure.)

Everything in the temple is repetition.  It's the same words and promises every time.  There is something very beautiful about this repetition, though.  A promise that God is patient and kind, and that if I don't quite understand everything that's just fine. I can come back again and again and again until I do understand.

Tonight I really needed to feel that my Heavenly Father loves me.  I know He does, but I guess sometimes I forget.  More than anything I just wanted to feel that He is aware of my struggles, my desires, my crooked little heart.  I needed to feel that I'm not alone.

It reminds me of when Greg or I come home after we've been out a few hours and Maverick jumps all over us like a crazed pup. He leaps and paws and frantically begs for attention until we bend down and show him love.  We pet him and cuddle him and say, "I see you Maverick.  I see you.  I see you" and within a few minutes he calms right down.   Greg has often asked out loud, "Do you think when we leave that he thinks we've just abandoned him forever?  And every time we come home again it's just the hugest relief to him?"

Sometimes I feel like this with God.  I guess sometimes I do a Maverick- I start frantically worrying that God's abandoned me.  Does He see me?  Does He know me?  Does He love me?  And all I really need is for Him to bend down and show me love and say, "I see you Bonnie.  I see you.  I see you."

That was what I got tonight from the temple.  An "I see you from God" accompanied with an overwhelming sense of love.  It is such a blessing to know that God is aware of me and my struggles and difficulties.  That I am his daughter and he loves me and worries about me and wants me to be happy.

I guess sometimes little girls just need to know that their father is looking out for them.

(For more on Mormon temples go here.  You are also always welcome to ask questions in the comment section, and I will be sure to respond.  Or write an email (thelifeofbon@gmail.com) if you want it more personal.  I answer a lot of  common questions about Mormons in this post and this post.)

19 comments:

  1. Beautiful post. I love the analogy. I need to make a trip to the temple soon, thanks for the reminder.

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  2. So lovely. I think it is okay to be like Maverick though - when we start to stop trying to connect with God, that's when sadness can really set in. As long as we are frantically trying to get His attention, He will connect with us. Great post. xo

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  3. although i was brought up going to church and what not, i have never been super religious and my faith has been weak at times. your posts are so beautifully written, and i never feel like you're shoving your religion in my face unlike so many other bloggers who are religious. it's refreshing and feels so much less judgemental and more welcoming

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  4. I also went to the temple tonight. Such an amazing place! I have been so lucky every time I go to do the work for someone named Anna (that is my name) and it is just a simple reminder that God does know who I am and He is thinking about me.

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  5. So beautifully put and exactly what I needed to hear tonight. Thank you for sharing!

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  6. I just wanted to say that as someone who isn't religious I didn't think I would really enjoy a blog that features so much religion, but I really do! I find your stories so enlightening, insightful and even inspiring. While we may not all believe in the same God (or any God), I like to think that we are all individuals working as part of the same team just trying to make the world a nicer place! :)

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  7. Love this! Such a great analogy!

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  8. This was a beautiful post. Loved it.

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  9. This is just wonderful. I think as Christians we all find ourselves at some point in time needing that affirmation from God that he sees us and loves us!

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  10. I'm not religious but I can totally relate to this post still, I loved reading this and made me feel reassured that im not the only one who feels like this sometimes! :)

    guesswhathollie.blogspot.co.uk

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  11. My husband recently interview in SLC and said that the temple (from the outside) was really beautiful. It must be nice to be close by!

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  14. Hi Bon! I have been stalking your blog literally from post one. For the past two weeks, you could say work is slow. And it has inspired me soooo much. I am recently engaged and nervous about marriage, your take on it is fresh and honest. I love it. Thank you for your honesty, being true to yourself and being hilarious. You have inspired me that marriage is tough, but works. And being on a tight budget can happen and be fun. I wanna be a couponer like you!! I am sorry to post this without a name, I don't blog. Anyway thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your blog is my favorite. I loved all the posts from entry one to now. I will keep on reading!! XOXO- Em

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    1. aparently this links to my OLD blog. i used to do this thing back in 2009. Thanks for posting!! (the 1st comment got deleted promise it wasn't a hater)

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  15. I can totally relate to wanting to feel seen and heard by your Father. Though I'm not Mormon, I think this resonates universally - everyone just wants to feel like they are loved, heard, and understood unconditionally.

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  16. What a beautiful post. You have an amazing way of telling stories with imagery that makes it all perfectly clear. Thanks for sharing.

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  17. i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted traditional spell hospital for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he traditional spell hospital casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you traditional spell hospital for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

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