Hello! And welcome! There are some new faces around here so please, allow me to give you a quick rundown:
My name is Bonnie. Those who feel affectionately toward me call me Bon Bon and those who hate me call me Bonarrhea. Whatever works. I am obsessed with straight, white teeth and trashy reality TV. My worst habit is biting my nails down to the stubs and being overly sarcastic with my students. Oh yah. I'm a teacher. Of sorts. I try to drill grammar into the heads of hormonal teenagers, so call that what you will. Some days it works, some days it doesn't. I'm married to the finest ginger on the block who will do a mad Native American chief accent if you catch him at the right moment. Yes, I am very lucky. Oh, and you can find me all over this freaking internet most often on facebook, twitter and instagram.
We friends now?
I've been thinking a lot about this blog lately. And about what it's purpose is and why I do it and why people blog in general. The other day I came home from work, flung myself dramatically on the bed and yelled to Greg, "But I don't want to do a blog post! I'm too tired! I don't want to write anything!"
And Greg laughed and said, "Bon, isn't that what you want to do with your life? Write?"
And I said, "Yes! But I just don't feeeeeeeeel like it!" Emphasis on the feel.
He gave me one of those looks that let me know we were going to go real deep and then he said slowly, "Bonnie, do you love blogging?"
And I looked back at him and said, "I don't know."
And then I said, "I'm going to walk the dog now."
And I left.
And don't you love how many sentences I've started with and?!?
I thought about the question on my walk, "Do I love blogging?" The question isn't simple- in fact, it's weirdly convoluted and complicated.
I love writing, I love making friends, I love being part of a community. Blogging gives me all those things.
I hate people being insincere or dishonest, I hate nasty comments, I hate how easy it is to feel not pretty/funny/rich/popular enough. I hate nameless stranger on the internet saying that I'm not smart enough to understand the true meaning of The Great Gatsby and that I should obviously be teaching elementary school. Blogging also gives me all of those things.
So the truth is I don't think I love blogging. And I don't know if I ever will.
But. What I do love is writing. Pure, unadulterated writing. I love telling stories, I love listening to stories, I love sharing human experiences. I love reading something and thinking, "I have felt that exact same thing that this person is describing. I have never met this person and I probably never will. We will never live in the same place or maybe even the same year, and yet we experience the same thing." To me, blogging is all about the human experience and sharing whatever that human experience entails- from the day you fell in love with a redhead, to wading through the enormous grief of losing a father, to sharing with the world the terrifying and exciting news that you are pregnant. Blogging has allowed me to share my stories and connect with others through their stories, be them similar or vastly different from mine, and that is something I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave behind.
I am so grateful to be part of a greater blogging community where stories are welcomed and shared and commented on and read and passed along. Because when it comes down to it, all we have is our stories.
Sometimes remembering will lead to a story, which makes it forever. That's what stories are for. Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can't remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.
- Tim O'Brien, "The Things They Carried."
I have this hanging in my classroom.
It is beautiful.
What do you love about blogging? And is there any way to have all the positives of blogging without the negatives or should I just accept that it is a package deal?
Excerpts of this post originally published on February 14, 2013.