It's been one of those days. You know. Those days.
I started with a snowy drive this morning and a commute that turned from 20 minutes to 60 minutes with terrible traffic conditions.
Then I hit a roadblock with my senior classes. I think I'm getting in my groove at my new school and then all of a sudden I have days like today where I'm convinced that the kids will never really respect and love me like they did at my old school. My fourth period class was beyond chatty and disrespectful today. I finally just gave them the Teacher glare while I waited for them to quiet down. Eventually they all got the message and shut up, but it took a good few minutes. As soon as they were quiet I started to speak and the second I did a kid started talking at that exact same moment just to piss me off.
Those are the moments when I have to try my best to be disciplined. To not just lose control at those little freakers who think it's funny to be rude. So I just glared at him and said, "Child, don't you mess with me. You pull crap like that again and you will do your learning in the hall for the rest of the week."
And he shut up. But still. Kids don't do that kind of stuff when they like you. When they're on your side. They do that kind of stuff when they don't respect you.
Then this afternoon I went in to Big O Tires to see if they could fix my windshield washer sprayer. The guy looked at the car, said it would be $250, and I said wow, no thank you, not today. Then the guy said, "ok that'll be $20."
"For what?" I replied. "You didn't fix anything."
"It's $20 for the estimate."
"Your charging $20 just for looking at my car?"
"Yes. That's right ma'am."
Cooks and swindlers, every last one of them.
That's when it's time for me to come home, get in my pjs and do a puzzle to de-stress myself for the next three hours.
Today I've got Emily on the blog talking about what made her start blogging. She addresses one of the most fascinating subjects to me- why we can bear our souls to perfect strangers but cringe when someone we know brings up our blog. She brings up some great points on this- she's one smart cookie. I do hope you'll visit her blog and tell her I've sent you, she really is fantastic.
And this is an essay about why I blog: I clearly remember when I started blogging, why I thought I should. It was because I had discovered this world - a whole other one where people were capturing their lives. Not just posting à la facebook: “I’m gonna make my kid’s picture, my profile picture” but they were really putting it all out there on the internet. Themselves. How they felt about motherhood, why they were feeling restless with their life. Why they felt compelled to do X Y Z. I found myself drawn to blogs written by women who had kids or lived organic and healthy lifestyles. Probably because I admired what they were doing – but the ones I really admired the most, were honest. Transparent. (But not too transparent – not everything needs to be recorded for all eternity – amiright?). There was this “something” there, you don’t find in everyday life. It was a little glimpse into the real world, of how life can be messy but beautiful at the same time. After I got into writing my own blog and I became more deeply embedded in the blogging world, I remember thinking everyone, (everyone!) must also be doing the same thing. But you know what’s strange? There’s this whole population out there, who has no idea what a “dashboard” is. They don’t arrange their freshly baked cupcakes nicely, or chart their work outs, or enter into DIY projects just to challenge themselves. Gasp. And I became embarrassed about my own foray into the internet world when I was speaking it out loud. Because I wasn’t sure how the two “me’s” compared to one another. Have any of you ever felt that way? Like you want to share your life with the internet, but then you don’t want your dad bringing up the elements of it when you’re home for the weekend?
(that ^^ should have said, "Cooler of Booze" - I made this sign... not one of my shiniest moments)
What is that? I’m fine with telling the virtual world that I don’t know what I’m doing with my life or why I’m feeling uncertain about a job decision, or am lacking faith, but I recoil when my aunt says to me, “We read on your blog the other day…” In “real” life it’s harder to say what you feel. Out loud. But there are so many times in life when it would help us. Can I get an amen? And then blogging did a crazy thing for me. This actual composition of my life gave me clarity. I’d been concentrating on saying what was on my heart while I was writing, and then magically, it started to transfer to everyday interactions. I started feeling more comfortable with my own voice. My voice became stronger. It became me. The reason you keep going back to some blogs time after time again, is because it makes you feel confident. Not confident because you compare yourself. But confident because you realize, you’ve got a voice too. And it’s got just as many stories to tell. Thanks so much to Life of Bon for having me! I’ll be here all month, hanging out on the side-bar if you wanna here some more stories about The Life of Emily over at Sparrow in the Tree Top.
Find me on Twitter: @FullofMirth
I take pictures too: @FullofMirth