The Life of Bon: 5 Things You Should Change About Your Husband

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

5 Things You Should Change About Your Husband

I passed out cold on my bed around 9 pm.

I put little June down, sat on my bed to look at instagram for half a second, and the next thing I knew I woke up and it was 11:49.  This teaching part time and blogging part time and mothering full time is giving me a run for my money, I'll tell you that much.  I love it so much- I feel so blessed to have the option to work part time and I receive so much joy from this blog and from all of you that read here.  Thank you for supporting me in this blogging pursuit and for supporting my sponsors and those companies and brands that I collaborate with.  Because of that I can justify the time I put into blog and continue to do it for years to come. (YEARS?!)

That being said, it is rocking me.  I'm tired.  And I hope that last paragraph was coherent.  I make no guarantees.

My sponsor today is one of my best blogging buddies, Elisabeth.  We have met and worked together several times.  Elisabeth is one of those people who "gets" blogging- I could go to her with any question in the world about blogging and she will have a million ideas and then we'll end up sitting and talking blog for hours.  She is also the one who motivated me to figure out how to use a camera as she is a self taught bonafide photographer!  While she lived in Utah we enjoyed doing several roundtables together and now she is offering her peeps their very own blog consultations.  I would seriously get in on that if I were you- anytime I have the chance to pick her brain I end up with a million suggestions for how to improve, grow, and love my blog even more.  (Read her guest post and you will begin to understand the blogging genius that is Elisabeth).

Elisabeth.  I turn the time over to you...

Oh hi friend (we can be friends, right?), today I'm talking about two things I'm pretty passionate about: change and marriage. Over on my blog, Bella, you'll find a bit of both mixed in with way too many pictures of a growing baby bump, my favorite recipes, and life in the middle of nowhere. I'm a firm believer in choosing happy even when its hard, and eating lots of chocolate. 

Since I got married three years ago I've really started paying attention to what society tells us about marriage. It seems they want us to believe that loving someone means accepting who they are, loving all of their faults, and not expecting them to change. We just are who we are, right?

WRONG. I think its a bunch of crap (a word my mother taught me not to say). Yes of course you should accept someone you love for who they are ...but does that mean you have to love their weaknesses, does it mean you can't expect them to ever change?

When Ben and I got married, we had fallen in love not just with who we were then, but who we could be. We talked about our expectations for change. I EXPECT my husband to change. I expect him to be kinder, more patient, and more selfless the older we get. Likewise, he expects I’ll continue to grow up and with that, work on being less selfish and less petty. For us, marriage wasn’t saying “this relationship with this person right now is what I want forever” it was saying “this human is the one I want to grow and change with along this journey of life.”

I don’t think Ben and I are that unique...but I don’t think many people articulate this expectation for change. We aren't just who we are...we are who we choose to be, we are what we do, in some ways, we are who we want to become. So when I share five things you SHOULD change about your husband … I’m not saying my husband is a bad guy (although I certainly hope he’s better in a few years than he is now or else neither of us will have done a very good job at this progress thing). 

Here’s the first over to my blog to read the rest:

  1. His view of marriage: Each marriage is unique. Each couple brings different things to the table. My goal is to have Ben’s views of marriage be better than they ever were … and also for him to ditch any stereotypes he had about what a marriage should look like. Ours will be different, it is different.

That said, there are HUGE benefits for having models of strong successful marriages. I needed to realize that our relationship wouldn’t be my parents, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t strive to treat Ben with as much respect, love, and service as my parents do.

Hop over to BELLA to read the other four things you change about your husband :) 


  1. First of all I'm definitely in need of some blogging advice, so I'll be sure to check out Elisabeth's blog! I absolutely love this view of marriage and it's one I hadn't heard before. Though I just have a boyfriend now, I do want us to change. To be better. To be better together. And of course if we do get married in the future I want us both to have changed views of marriage.

  2. What a fresh new perspective that change is not necessarily a bad thing! Can't wait to hop over to Bella & read more :)

  3. I love this and TOTALLY agree! I hate it when people say that. I expect to change and I expect that we'll change together!

  4. I think my favorite quote that anyone ever said to me before my wedding was "I hope today is the day that you find you loved each other the least." (meaning that while you love each other so much today, it will only grow from there) I think that totally goes along with this!